Saturday in Review 11/7/09

Another Saturday, this time with some upsets! Let's get crackin'.

Vanderbilt-3, #1 Florida-27

One of the better teams in the SEC beat the worst team in the SEC. Heck, they didn't even need the ref's help to do it, an improvement over the Gators' normal routine.

Don't get me wrong, Florida is an excellent school with a fine football program, but you can't deny that some crummy calls have helped them along the way. Also, one of the students here at the group home desired me to write "gators suck, georgia rules" somewhere in here (all lack of capitalization is [sic]). Since Georgia isn't ranked, and Florida is, I figured I would put this here, if only to prove him wrong.

Aaaaand, that's all I got for this game. Guess we should move on, eh?

UCF-3, #2 Texas-35

Texas finally rounds out its horrific non-conference schedule with what might have been their toughest non-conference game. (Take that for what it's worth. In case you don't remember, their other non-conference games were Louisiana-Monroe, Wyoming, and UTEP)

I'm not sure if I should analyze this. Texas is pulling the same stunt that USC and Ohio State did during the early years of the decade: playing non-conference nobodies and playing in a weak conference, leading to a cheap and undeserved bid in the national title game. Congrats, Longhorns! Your first and only real test of the season will be a game against Alabama or Florida in the National Title game...

#9 LSU-15, #3 Alabama-24

Another big fuss gets made over a crummy call or two in an Alabama game. The big case in this game? An interception that was called a non-interception after a video review. I will now let ESPN writer Ivan Maisel write something idiotic, then I will correct him. Ivan:

"The fourth-quarter interception that LSU corner Patrick Peterson did (according to video) or didn't (according to the SEC officials) make enthralled conspiracy theorists. I think they need a hobby. If the Tigers had gotten the ball, they would have been on the Alabama 37, trailing 21-15, with a backup quarterback and a backup tailback. On the Tigers' last two possessions, Jarrett Lee went 1-for-7 with two sacks and one pick. In other words, that call didn't decide the game." (BLOGGER'S NOTE: link here just in case you think I'm making this quote up. Quote is taken from the "Weekend observations" section in the right sidebar)

OK, so there's the quote. Now that's from someone who gets paid real money to write about college football. Why am I so up in arms, you wonder? Well, discounting a team's chances simply because their backup is in or because they don't show any signs of life is a hideous mistake. I mean, Stanford had their backup in on the road in 2007, AND they were down 16-7 at the start of the 4th quarter, when they pulled off one of the biggest upsets of all time. (Story of that game here. Gloriously vindictive video here) So don't you think that LSU, a ranked team playing at home might have stood a chance against another ranked team? You think that might be a possibility, especially since they would have had the ball, and would have been trailing by 6 points? I'm not saying LSU would have marched down and won the game, but casually dismissing another missed call by the SEC officials as irrelevant is absolutely stupid. LSU could have won this game, but they weren't even given a chance.

Northwestern-17, #4 Iowa-10

So, uhhhh, Iowa. What happened? Wait, why am I asking you? No one from Iowa reads this thing...

OK, I will answer that question. Iowa is, much like the 2004 Carolina Panthers, a .500 team masquerading as a championship contender. Of their 9 wins prior to this game, they should have lost to Northern Iowa, Michigan State, and Indiana. They could have lost to Arkansas State, Michigan, and Wisconsin. The only games they won convincingly were matchups against their perennially pathetic rival Iowa State, non-conference foe Arizona, and Penn State. In this game, they lost their quarterback to injury in the 2nd quarter, and many people are saying that is why they lost the game. Lest we forget, this is the same quarterback who tossed up 5 INT's last week in Iowa's near-loss to Indiana. I don't think this individual player is responsible for Iowa losing this one...

The Hawkeyes caught more than a few lucky breaks during their long undefeated run, and they still have a legitimate shot to go to Pasadena and play in the Rose Bowl. To do that, however, they have to go into the Horseshoe and beat Ohio State, and beat Minnesota in Iowa City. And the way Iowa's season's going so far, they'll beat Ohio State by 10 on the road, but beat Minnesota by 2 on a freak safety at the very end of the game. I look forward to it.

Connecticut-45, #5 Cincinnati-47

Cincy hangs on to win a defense-optional game. UConn continues to amaze me by playing great football, despite the serious emotional hangover that they'll have for the remainder of this season.

The big story of the game is that Cincinnati's backup QB has been unreal ever since starter Tony Pike went down with an injury. Zach Collaros doesn't screw around, it would seem. It will be interesting to see, if Cincinnati gets in trouble down the road, what their coach does with the quarterback situation. I'm curious as to whether they'll try to play musical quarterbacks, or if a talented young man (Collaros or Pike) will be forced to ride the pine because of the other's performance. In fairness, Cincinnati went through, like, 5 quarterbacks last season, so I don't know why this year is the year that the national media chooses to focus in on their quarterback situation

Oh, and I still hate that awful "Oh! Oh! Oh! *clap clap clap* U-C!" chant that the Cincinnati faithful do. Because, like USC's fight song, they do that 7,000 times a game, even when nothing is happening. It's really irritating....

#6 TCU-56, San Diego State-12

TCU is pretty good, but like Boise before them, they play in a horrible conference. TCU even tried to schedule some semi-good non-conference foes. Unfortunately, their two major non-conference foes were both bad-to-mediocre teams from the ACC. So those wins don't really help the Horned Frogs case. So their only recourse is to win with "style." Unfortunately, in the eyes of the BCS computers and voters, "style" is a synonym for blowout. The result? Games like this one...

#7 Boise State-45, Louisiana Tech-35

Boise survives an upset scare, thereby proving, uhhhh, something...I'm not sure what, honestly.

Look, Boise's the best team in their conference, but that's not saying that much. I'm curious to see how they'd perform in a BCS Conference. They'd probably get the bid in the ACC or Big East or Big 10 this season.

The real question for me is: How did Louisiana Tech wind up in the WAC? Seriously, the other schools in that conference are located in Idaho, Hawaii, California, Nevada, New Mexico, and Utah. How the heck did a school from Louisiana get in there?! If anyone has the answer, please let me know...

#8 Oregon-42, Stanford-51

Ugh. It's happening again. The annual unraveling of the PAC-10's decent teams that let's USC escape from its egg-laying and grab a Rose Bowl berth. In this case, Stanford shocks the Ducks in an amazingly offensive (forgive the pun, please) performance.

The Ducks looked fairly flaccid. Either the win over Southern Cal tired them out, or Stanford had the answers on offense that the Trojans didn't. One thing that is certain is this: Stanford did not have the answer on defense. This game was, like the Cincy-UConn game, what the analysts like to call a "shootout." I like to call it "crummy defense."

Seriously, I do not understand why it's "exciting" to see an offense tear off chunks of yards and put up gaudy numbers, but it's "boring" to see two defenses grind it out. Wouldn't a touchdown mean more in a 13-10 game than a 51-42 scorefest? Maybe I'm in the minority, but I'd rather see a good defensive game than watch defenses roll over and have points stacked to the ceiling.

Oh, and hats off to Stanford for beating another highly ranked foe...seems to happen once every 3 years or so.

Wake Forest-27, #10 Georgia Tech-30

Well, the good news for the ACC is that its highest ranked team didn't lose. The bad news for the ACC is that its highest ranked team had to go into overtime at home to beat Wake Forest.

As a side note, Wake is like Iowa, if all the breaks in a game went against the Hawkeyes. Wake has lost many close games this year, including their last 3 by a total of 7 points. Mind you, the game before that they lost by 35, so take my analysis for what it's worth...

As for Georgia Tech, they lived dangerously this game, going for it on 4th down 5 times, and only coming up with one successful conversion. Mind you, that conversion came in overtime and led to the game winning touchdown, so it's hard to argue with that decision. Personally, I like teams that aren't afraid to go for it on 4th down, but I would have hated to be Paul Johnson if that last attempt in overtime had failed like the 4 attempts during regulation. As is, it'll be interesting to see who Georgia Tech plays in their bowl (which will likely be the Orange Bowl against...either TCU, Boise State, or Cincinnati). No one runs the triple option better than Georgia Tech right now, and it's wreaking havoc in the ACC. I'm curious to see how other teams fare against the run-happy attack.

#16 Ohio State-24, #11 Penn State-7

The Buckeyes crushed Penn State in Happy Valley, surprising many analysts. I'm surprised as well, but I guess I shouldn't be: Penn State's only loss prior to this one was at home against Iowa...

As for Ohio State, their QB, Terelle Pryor played extraordinarily well, in the type of game he was expected to have for the last one and a half seasons. It remains to be seen if this is one of those once-in-a-career games, or if he was just trying to show up PSU, a school he turned down 2 years ago to go to Ohio State. Before anyone points to the huge stats he's had in some games this season, allow me to point out that the most awesome of those awesome stats have come against Toledo, Purdue, and Minnesota. Less than impressive, especially considering that they lost to Purdue. Oh, well, let's move on...

Penn State...sorry guys. Enjoy your trip to a semi-obscure bowl. Ohio State and Iowa will play for the de facto Big 10 championship game this weekend. Unless, you know, something bizarre happens...

#12 USC-14, Arizona State-9

A fairly mediocre game for the Trojans offense, and a normal game for the Arizona State offense. Arizona State has only beaten bad teams this year (Best win: Washington) yet, because they have played 4 bad teams (Washington, Washington State, Idaho State, and Louisiana-Monroe) they can still make a bowl if they win 2 of their remaining 3 games. One of those games is against awesomely underachieving UCLA, so all they have to do is beat Oregon or Arizona. I doubt either will happen, but wouldn't that be awesome? To reward a team for beating 4 crappy teams and scraping up 2 legitimate wins with a bowl game! College football is fast becoming one of those kindergarten baseball leagues: There's no winners or losers, EVERYONE gets a trophy!

As for Southern Cal, they're having an off year. It gives me joy, but we all know they'll be back next year. The Trojans still have a very legitimate shot at winning the PAC-10 (excuse me while I go vomit after typing that...)















OK, I'm back. And you can look for the Trojans to close out the year with 3 straight wins, since they play Stanford, UCLA, and Arizona, all at home. Yes, 2 of those 3 are ranked, but we all know that USC inexplicably only loses to unranked teams. Final note from this game: The new rankings are out. 2-loss Southern Cal is ranked 9th, Oregon is ranked #12 and Arizona is ranked #17. They are currently tied for 3rd in the conference behind Oregon and Arizona. Please explain how the highest ranked team in the conference is in 3rd in the actual conference standings! Augh! I hate USC!

Syracuse-10, #13 Pitt-37

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this surprises no one. Syracuse hasn't been good since Virginia Tech and Miami were in the Big East, and even then they weren't exactly a huge threat in the Big East. Ever since 2002, however, the Orange (Or Orangemen as they used to be known) have been nothing shy of awful.

So, really, good job Pitt, in that you beat a team that you were supposed to beat. Your real test comes November 27 and December 5, when you play West Virginia and Cincinnati back to back. Oh, and you play Notre Dame in there as well, but don't worry about that one. Even if you lose, you can still easily win the conference, since Notre Dame defends its independent status the way the Swiss defend their neutrality...

New Mexico-14, #14 Utah-45

Utah is a boring state, and New Mexico's 0-9. What more do you need to know?

#15 Houston-46, Tulsa-45

I really can't wait until Houston plays a team with some kind of defense. Seriously, in the bowl season when they wind up going against some Big 10 or ACC or low-caliber SEC school, I cannot wait. Because when they play a team with a defense, they will get destroyed. Sure, they beat Mississippi State, but does MSU really count? We all know Oklahoma State and Texas Tech don't because no one in the Big 12 plays defense well. So, seriously, enjoy it Houston. You will eventually play someone who can play defense, and when you do, it will not be pretty.

Virginia-17, #17 Miami-52

Miami cruises over UVa at home. Considering that the Cavaliers aren't that good, and that Miami is at least decent, this outcome isn't surprising at all. Heck, UVa normally plays better on the road than at home (See victories over UNC and Maryland) but they still lost to a Miami squad that looks primed to go to the Gator Bowl at the end of the season. They're not great, but they're better than UVa for whatever that's worth... (Answer: Not much)

Washington State-7, #18 Arizona-48

Wazzu hasn't won a PAC-10 game since they beat last year's winless Washington team. What does this tell us? Simply that Arizona won a game that I would have ruthlessly mocked if it were non-conference. One cannot help in-conference cupcakes, but anyone who schedules Washington State as a non-conference game is officially a pansy school. (I'm looking at you, Notre Dame!) (No, you don't have a conference, but you could play anyone and you choose Wazzu!)


#19 Oklahoma State-34, Iowa State-8

Rough week for the Iowans, eh? Well, rough week for Iowa fans. ISU fans should be used to this by now. Oklahoma State fans should, too.

Let's recap OSU's season: They have played 2 good teams. They have lost to both of said teams. They have beaten a total of 3 teams with winning records: Georgia, Missouri, and Texas A&M. None of those 3 teams have winning conference records, and all 3 of them are only one game above .500. Meaning that OSU is defining mediocrity: Beating bad teams, losing to good ones. And, in the screwed up world of college football, this means that they get to be ranked among the top 20 teams! I think OSU might be the team I hate the most this season. As much as it pains me to write it, at least most of the other teams I criticize are good (Texas, Southern Cal, Florida). Oklahoma State really has done nothing to vindicate where they're ranked! Let's move on.

Oregon State-31, #20 Cal-14

You know what's funny? I looked back through the records of this season: Cal is 4-3 as a ranked team this season, but 2-0 as an unranked team. Maybe they should try and stay unranked for the rest of the year...

As for the analysis, there's not any. Cal lost their star, Jahvid Best to a scary looking injury, and the best thing to come out of this game was the fact that he's still alive and is not paralyzed. Best has had 2 concussions in the last 2 weeks, and since Cal isn't a contender for the PAC-10 or National Title, I am absolutely of the opinion that Best should sit out the remainder of the regular season. He's an excellent running back with a bright future, but more importantly he's a human being, who needs to be treated as such. A quick nod to Cal coach Jim Tedford, who said basically the same thing. Here's hoping for a speedy recovery for one of the PAC-10's finest.

#21 Wisconsin-31, Indiana-28

You know, Indiana's been playing very well these last two weeks. They might just pull off an upset sometime soon.

Wisconsin is an middle-of-the-road team in a fairly bad conference. So...take this win for what it's worth, which is not too much (Second time I've used that line in this post. Gotta come up with some new material...)

Navy-23, #22 Notre Dame-21

Well, Charlie Weis may just get himself fired. You don't pimp Notre Dame as "back," then lose to Navy at home. That's just not good for job security. The good news? Charlie will get a ton of money if he does get fired! So that's something for him to cheer about.

Notre Dame is struggling. The NBC broadcasters were talking about a possible BCS berth for the 2-loss Irish during the Navy game. Really? With 6 automatic qualifying conferences, 2 undefeated teams from non-AQ conferences, and a host of 1-loss teams with better schedules than Notre Dames, you're thinking of one of the 8 berths available in BCS Bowls? (No one but Lou Holtz thought that the Irish might still go to the championship game.)

As for Navy...they scared Ohio State in the Horseshoe earlier this year, so this game does help prove that the Midshipmen (still one of the most awesome mascots ever, by the way) are a pretty good team. The Middies have Delaware, Hawaii, and Army coming up, plus a berth in the Texas Bowl that they've already accepted. Navy could realistically win 10 or 11 games this season! Welcome to the twilight zone...

#23 Virginia Tech-16, East Carolina-3

The Hokies avenge last year's season-opening loss with a win against the Pirates in the rubber game between the two schools' home-neutral-home setup. Sadly, this game was how Virginia Tech had to break their losing streak: Against their second-worst non-conference foe. (Sad fact: The ACC is so mediocre that ECU isn't even the second-worst team on Virginia Tech's schedule)

As for coverage...it was a defensive struggle through most of this game, though the Hokies should have had 23 points were it not for a Tyrod Taylor fumble on the 1-inch line early in the game. Mind you, ECU had a touchdown called back on a pretty bad holding call, so both teams lost points during this exchange.

My favorite part of this game? ECU's midfield logo, painted up nice because they were on ESPN. Have a look:


Pretty awesome, eh?

#24 Oklahoma-3, Nebraska-10

Mark my words: If Nebraska keeps playing good defense (5 INTs in this game) they will be back on top of the Big 12 in a season or two. Sure, beating this year's Oklahoma team is nowhere near the accomplishment it would have been last season, but give credit where credit is due. Even the "mighty" Texas Longhorns allowed 13 points to the Sooners. Good job by the Huskers, who became bowl eligible with this win.

As for Oklahoma...ugh. This is a team that's in rough shape. Their QB kept tossing the ball to the wrong team, their star players are almost universally injured, and they're 1 game above .500 after the 9th week of the season. It's been a long, rough fall from that #3 spot they held so very long ago in August...

#25 BYU-52, Wyoming-0

Isn't it ironic that the team that torpedoed Oklahoma's chances this season is the team that rounds out this week's Top 25? It's not ironic? Oh, well. It is interesting that I said something good about Wyoming last week and, well, look what happened. No shame in losing to a good team, the shame is found when you lose to a good team by 52 at home. To be fair, BYU probably is one of the 25 best teams in the country, meaning that, unlike so many others, their ranking was appropriate.

Oh, and for continuity's sake: Utah is a boring state.

And now...Tales from the Bottom 95

Carolina gets its second conference win by beating Duke. Look out Tire Bowl, here come the Tar Heels!...Yes, I'm a vindictive jerk. Isn't that why you read this thing?...West Virginia got their 6th win at home by beating the awful Louisville Cardinals this week. Yes, their 6th win at home. They've played 9 games total. Isn't that some bold scheduling? Here's hoping their road trip to Cincinnati serves up some poetic justice for that cowardly schedule...Georgia bounces back from that trouncing by Florida. Mind you, they did so by beating Tennessee Tech...Arkansas, proving that they are a team capable of beating semi-OK schools, defeats South Carolina...Auburn boldly defeated Furman, one of the Tigers' 8(!) home games...Last week I wrote that Michigan's season had hit rock bottom. I was wrong. They hit the bottom this week when they lost to Purdue...How much does Rich Rodriguez make again?...Must've been cupcake week in the SEC East. Tennessee beat up on Memphis, Auburn played Furman, Kentucky played East Kentucky, Georgia played Tennessee Tech, and Florida played Vanderbilt (cue rim shot)...CJ Spiller proved just how good he is (again) when he ran over Florida State...Pity that Clemson's so bad...Finally, pre-season #8 Ole Miss proved how good they were by defeating awesome 1-AA foe Northern Arizona...

That's all for this week. See you later...

Saturday in Review 10/31/09

So, another week, another round of games that's mostly sub-par. No rhyming this time, as I don't want readership to entirely disappear. So, let's go down the Top 25, with our tongues in our cheeks and our pride severely wounded (remember, I'm a Hokie fan...)

Georgia-17, #1 Florida-41

Everyone's making a fuss over Brandon Spikes trying to do a little laser eye surgery (replacing the laser with his finger) on a Georgia player. I reckon it's my blogger's duty to write about the incident, so here goes: I agree that it was a totally unsportsmanlike move by the leader of the Florida defense, but the advantage is that the Gators play Vanderbilt this coming week. So, frankly, unless he grabs a multi-game suspension (at present it's the first half), there will be virtually no recriminations for his actions. It was classless and stupid, but players frequently do worse things off the field of play. At least Spikes had the gumption to attack a fellow football player and not a girlfriend or fast food clerk.

As for the game itself...meh. Georgia's lost to Tennessee and LSU, both of whom have lost to Florida as well. In short, the highlight of this game was Georgia's black pants and helmets which looked sharp, but didn't really impact the game as a whole. There were several uniform tweaks recently (Link to a Pat Forde article on that issue here) but I'm of the opinion that looking cool only helps you mentally if you have a team that's capable of beating the opposition. In this game, Georgia was not that team, but they looked nice as they lost, for whatever that's worth...

#3 Texas-41, #14 Oklahoma State-14

Raise your hand if this surprised you: A team that lost at home to Houston loses at home to another (larger and better) school from Texas. If you raised your hand, stop reading now and go listen to Lee Corso, because you are probably the kind of person who agrees with him. If you didn't raise your hand, keep reading:

This shouldn't have been a top 15 matchup. Oklahoma State's best win is currently a 14 point home win against Georgia, a win that looks less and less impressive as time goes by. Plus, OSU's next best win is either a road victory against Texas A&M or a home win over Missouri. Please forgive me for beating this dead horse, but OSU got into the top 15 by beating a slew of nobodies! At present pace they will have played 2 opponents who will be ranked at the end of the year.

As for the Longhorns, they can't get cocky. I want to support Texas. I really do! Heck, I owe my existence in part to the university! But, man, they've played a bunch of nobodies this year, too! Heck, they're nonconference schedule is worse than Oklahoma State's! At present their best win is a victory over an ailing Oklahoma in the Red River Shootout. Their second best win is...either this game or at Missouri. Color me unimpressed...Also, Texas fans, stamp your tickets to the National Title game, because no one else is going to slow you down.

Indiana-24, #4 Iowa-42

Eventually this has to get old for Iowa fans. For once that expression "the score belies the game" is true. Iowa shouldn't have won this game. Only Indiana, a team that lost to UVa by 40, could screw up a game that they really should have won. They got 5 INTs off of Iowa's quarterback. 5!!! Those are Jake Delhomme numbers! That's absurd!

The big story of this game was an awful awful replay call that took away an Indiana touchdown and gave the ball back to Iowa. But look at it this way: let's take the score, add 7 to Indiana's total, and take away 7 from Iowa. Know what you get? 31-35, Iowa. Indiana would have lost this game regardless of that touchdown, unless you want to credit "momentum" or "confidence" or "bad juju" or "the tooth fairy" to how teams perform and total points. Oh, well, gives the pundits something to write about I reckon...

#5 USC-20, #10 Oregon-47

A good game for those of us who hate Pete Carroll, a bad game for the Trojans and their supporters. Pete got handed his worst loss with the Mustard and Ketchup crew, and the Southern Cal squad did not look so great. Mind you, they've played mediocre teams and have played them close of late, which indicates that this isn't too surprising.

Oregon continues to rise from their awful first game against Boise, and is on the inside track to win the PAC-10 and go on to the Rose Bowl. Which means, now that I've typed that, they'll lose 2, USC will go to the Rose Bowl, and then Pete will somehow argue that they won the title. As is, Matt Hayes at the Sporting News will type something about how SC has to be the best team in the country. I promise.

#6 TCU-41, UNLV-0

I can't analyze this. I will instead give you a stat I saw on Fox Sports Net, which was broadcasting the game in our area: AccuScore ran a simulation of this game 10,000 times. UNLV won 40 of those theoretical games, meaning that TCU won 9,960. UNLV was given a .4% chance to win. This should tell us something about why this score looks like this.

San Jose State-7, #7 Boise State-45

Boise's conference sucks. It's a pity because Boise's win over Oregon is looking better and better, but the Broncos have no chance of making the title game. That's all I got...

#8 Cincinnati-28, Syracuse-7

Know what the difference is between an undefeated Cincinnati and an undefeated Boise State? Cincy is in an automatic qualifying conference that is almost as bad as the conference the Broncos inhabit, but Cincinnati can make the national title game. The Big East is horrible, and Cincy easily looks like the best squad in the conference. They'll likely play the ACC champs in the Orange Bowl again.

Tulane-0, #9 LSU-42

No, LSU, no. You don't earn analysis when you call this a rivalry. Yes, you have agreed to cancel the last years of this sham to play other competition, but that didn't stop you from still crushing Tulane this season, just in case the voters are looking. Quit playing Tulane, quit playing UL-Lafayette. Grow a backbone and play some real teams in your nonconference schedule.

#11 Georgia Tech-56, Vanderbilt-31

ACC team beats SEC team! That's great! Then you read that the best ACC team beats the worst SEC team, and it's far less impressive. Georgia Tech's a good football squad, and I doubt highly that they'll lose again this season, at least not until the ACC championship game. Which, frankly, it's good to see 1 ACC school doing well...

#12 Penn State-34, Northwestern-13

Northwestern stuck with Penn State through 2 quarters. Unfortunately for the Wildcats, there are 4 quarters in a game. The second half, especially the 4th quarter, belonged to the Nittany Lions. JoePa's crew has bounced back nicely from their defeat at the hands of Iowa, and their forthcoming game against Ohio State will be a good one, hopefully. If Penn State wins that one, look for them to cruise to the end of the year and make whatever the second most important Big 10 bowl is.

North Carolina-20, #13 Virginia Tech-17

OK, I was at this game. Sitting there, watching this debacle unfold. Brian Stinespring must be fired. For those of you who don't know, Mr. Stinespring is the offensive coordinator for the Virginia Tech Hokies. He is the man who does the least with the most talent. I got into a conversation after the game with a drunken Asian student who attends Virginia Tech. Between all the F-words and the stumbling, I gathered that he agrees with me on this point.

Seriously, Tech did not deserve to win this game, because for 2 consecutive weeks they have done horribly against the run. Passing plays hurt Tech, but did not sink them. The inability to stop Carolina on 4th down and 8, at home, during the 4th quarter with the crowd screaming with all it's might, that is what sunk them. They may yet have a tough time with the ECU Pirates this coming week, especially since they have to go on the road.

The sticky feet played well, mind you, and they may make it 2 in a row when they play Duke this weekend.

Side note: Got to see a dumpster fire after the game. This has nothing to do with anything, I just thought you might appreciate it.

Wyoming-10, #16 Utah-22

Wyoming appears to be an improving football team. Utah, meanwhile, is still a boring state.

New Mexico State-0, #17 Ohio State-45

Ohio State made up for accidentally scheduling a tough nonconference game by scheduling this one. While I'm sure the USC game was a total accident of scheduling (they probably thought they were scheduling the University of Southern Connecticut, not California) this one was totally intentional. I'm sick of cupcake games as it is, but to play these games in the middle of the season is absolutely absurd. Play your "tune-up" garbage games at the start of the year, not during the middle of the season.

Oh, well, at least the Buckeyes played a 1-A opponent, unlike their Maize and Blue clad rivals in Michigan, who courageously scheduled Delaware State mid-season...

Southern Mississippi-43, #18 Houston-50

Defense optional football. Houston benefits from being in a relatively weak conference, and they just beat one of the better teams in said conference. Houston should win their conference, and go to a semi-major bowl. Weeeeeee.

#19 Miami-28, Wake Forest-27

Miami narrowly avoids an upset bid by Wake. All this really teaches us is that Miami is not a road team. They lost badly to Virginia Tech on the road, they beat Florida State by a measly 4 on the road, and they beat Wake by 1 on the road. Their only big road win is against Central Florida, and I'm not sure that counts.

Still, good to see that the Canes are high in the conference, rather than allowing Wake to muddle an already screwed up conference. Right now the ACC is basically Georgia Tech and everyone else. Look for that to stay the same right up until Boston College beats them in the championship game, goes to the Orange Bowl, and gets the conference laughed at...

#21 West Virginia-19, South Florida-30

When a South Florida team that spent the last 2 weeks being slaughtered turns around and beats you, it should tell you something about your #21 ranking. Specifically, it tells you that you didn't deserve it.

In a conference littered with weak teams, WVU further set themselves up for a bowl-bound season by getting a pathetic nonconference schedule. WVU is 6-2 thus far, having played no ranked teams. They should win next week against an awful Louisville squad, and then they'll lose 2 straight to the Bearcats and Pitt Panthers. If I'm wrong, so be it, but this is how good West Virginia is without Pat White; specifically, not very.

Kansas State-30, #22 Oklahoma-42

Jeez, OU. You start the season as a title contender, and you wind up barely beating Kansas State by 12 at home. Forgive me for saying, but you guys are firmly mediocre. OU's problems are well documented, and I assume you read this thing for a unique perspective, not more crap that everyone else has written about. So, if you're an Oklahoma fan, go read one of those articles about how Bradford's injury killed OU's season, and how he's going to go pro. Then weep into your pathetic Sooner Schooner-shaped shotglasses. The rest of us are going to go to the next paragraph.

Kansas State, meanwhile, has nothing to do with anything in the Big 12, though they could easily win their half of the conference. Take that for what it's worth...

#22 South Carolina-13, Tennessee-31

Gotta love Tennessee getting black jerseys and going and winning against the Gamecocks. The Vols have, at times, had flashes of brilliance this season, and you have to love their chances of returning to greatness.

South Carolina, meanwhile, is an enigma. Are they overrated? Or are they mediocre? They are certainly not good.

Washington State-14, #23 Notre Dame-40

OK, this game's a joke. One of the worst programs in 1-A plays against Notre Dame. The only thing that interests me about this at all is the game's location. Why, oh why, did they play in San Antonio? The answer: To play in front of Texas recruits. It's still a bogus reason, a team with megazillions of dollars can't fly up recruits? They have to fly the whole team and the band and the cheerleaders down there? What the heck?! How is that cheaper? Or more effective?

As for Washington State...I'd prefer that we not talk about them. They're a poor excuse for a team.

#24 California-23, Arizona State-21

I'll be honest, I didn't watch this game. Not one little bit. Cal won, though. Woo! Go bears! (NOTE: I actually don't care)

#25 Ole Miss-20, Auburn-33

So, Ole Miss, still think you should have been ranked in the Top 10 to start the season? Because no one else on the planet does. In fact, even the single-celled proto-lifeforms on Planet Gorlax, which is 7 million light years away think that Ole Miss was overrated. And they can't even think!

Ole Miss is a mediocre team. They beat bad schools, they don't beat good schools, and they don't win on the road. There's some analysis that will tick off any Rebels who stray over onto this blog.

Auburn continues to surprise me. Their team was awful last year, their coach had an awful team last season, and they're 6-3, with a .500 record in the toughest conference in the country. Please explain this to me, someone. I beg you! And now...

Tales from the Bottom 95

Florida State beat NC State to keep the Wolfpack winless in conference play...Wisconsin killed Purdue, proving that the Boilermakers' upset of the Ohio State Buckeyes was a fluke...Clemson beat Coastal Carolina in a pathetic cupcake game...Michigan's season officially hit rock bottom this week when Illinois killed them...Duke beat UVa and is one win away from bowl eligibility. This is a sign of the end!...The wheels have fallen off for Kansas, they're 1-3 in conference and just lost to Texas Tech...Idaho resumes winning, beating Louisiana Tech by 1. Go Vandals go!...

That's all for this week. See you next time!

Saturday in Review 10/24/09 (Rhyme Time!)

'Twas the week before Halloween, when at CFR,
Bones was a' posting on the worst week by far.

There's not much of interest, one tiny upset,
So will I keep rhyming? I answer, "You bet!"

Number one Florida escapes MSU,
How the Gators are "best" I haven't a clue.
With help from the zebras, and SEC might,
prepare for more Tebow; there's no end in sight.

Number two Alabama just nipped the Vols,
with the final two minutes a massive close call,
Mark Ingram got 99 yards on the ground,
but Crimson Tide touchdowns could not be found.

The Tennessee kicker is in a tight spot,
for missing the first one and having 2 blocked.
Before I'm called harsh and he starts to sob,
just remember that kicking is his freakin' job!

Number three Texas beat up on Mizzou,
and turned the poor Tigers to black and to blue.
The game was not close, I'd call it a slaughter,
Don't look for analysis, because I won't bother.

Hawaii got smashed by number four Boise State
Watching the Broncos play football is great
They're fast and they're strong and it's quite a big shame
That they won't get a shot in the Really Big Game.

Number five Cincy is in the Big East,
the BCS Conference that matters the least.
They beat Louisville badly, (not saying a lot)
And they'll beat Syracuse, and that's all I got...

Iowa (Number Six) in a squeaker again
They just nipped the Spartans and top the Big 10
Most of Iowa's wins can be thought of as theft,
They won this game here with no seconds left.

USC won at home against Oregon State,
but despite their ranking they didn't look great
They're at number 7, they'll likely move up,
If next week they can defeat the Oregon Ducks.

TCU beat up on BYU's team,
In a matchup that pitted numbers 8 and 16.
The Horned Frogs can get into the BCS,
The Cougars a much lower bowl I would guess.

LSU defeats Auburn, to stay number nine.
The blame for this loss is totally mine.
The second I said that the Tigers were back,
is the exact same week that they start getting whacked.

Clemson defeated the Miami Canes,
and we won't see those storms in the Top 10 again.
The whole ACC is one giant mess,
who'll be at the top is anyone's guess.

At number 11, the Oregon team,
went to Seattle to make Washington scream.
Since the Ducks won the game (this is just a hunch)
I guess that there was no running back punch

The Georgia Tech Jackets put the Hoos back in place,
putting a smile on this here Hokie fan's face.
UVa's wins were, I'm sure, due to luck,
The simple cold fact is that UVa sucks.

POETIC INTERMISSION

#13 Penn State-35, Michigan-10

Dear Michigan,

In case you haven't noticed: I dislike you. So much so that I am willing to break with the theme of this week's post just so I can mock you in letter form. You were "back" only 3 weeks ago, and now you're sitting in 9th place in a conference with 11 teams. You've lost 3 of your last 4 games, and the lone victory came against the Delaware State Hornets. On the bright side, you play Illinois this coming week. And they are very, very bad. You might continue a theme of defeating the mediocre teams while falling to the even semi-competent ones. Doesn't that sound fun?

Sincerely,
Bones

PS to Penn State: Keep up the good work, but unless Iowa drops 2 games, you're not winning the conference. Hate to tell ya...

INTERMISSION OVER

The OSU Cowboys are number 15,
They shouldn't be up there (you know what I mean?)
This week they crushed Baylor, this might be their peak,
They'll go and get killed by Texas next week.

The SMU Mustangs (once sentenced to death)
and crappy football belong in the same breath.
The Cougars of Houston beat this team that's not great,
making their ranking seem appropriate.

Air Force and Utah went into OT,
and last year's great Utes are a dim memory.
We'll wait for 2 weeks when they play TCU,
to see whether Utah is good or they're poo.

(Random haiku time!)

Minnesota is
bad at football. They did lose
to Ohio State

(Resume traditional poetry)

South Florida was crushed by home-standing Pitt,
Why the Bulls were once ranked I surely don't get.
Pittsburgh, meanwhile, will keep doing well.
Can they beat Cincy? In 3 weeks we'll tell.

'Zona beat UCLA by just 14 points,
And thus do the Bruins still disappoint.
The Wildcats are winning, but beating bad teams
They'll win the PAC-10 only in their dreams.

(Break for seriousness)

UConn-24, #22 West Virginia-27

A quick and somber nod to UConn who played quite well against the Mountaineers considering the circumstances they were playing in. When one considers the fact that they lost a starter to murder, you really have to admire the spirit of the team that went out and played just one week later. Good job Huskies, and good luck throughout the rest of the year.

West Virginia, meanwhile, is one of the few hurdles Cincinnati has left to clear. They have to take their show on the road, however, and their loss is to Auburn at Auburn. I'm not looking for WVU to beat Cincy. In fairness, I've been wrong before...

(Back to poetry. Briefly.)

I'd sure hate to be a Vandy Commodore,
they spend most of their time on the SEC floor.
In this week's performance they chalked up a loss,
getting clipped by the South Carolina Gamecocks.

Oklahoma defeated the Kansas Jayhawks,
this game does not fall into the "upset" box.
Kansas was ranked, but OU was not,
it's a weird situation, but that's all I got.

(Final haiku)

That is all for the
ranked schools. We must go to the
Bottom ninety-five.

(End poetry motif)

First off, allow me to apologize for this entire post...On Thursday, by the way, Carolina blew a massive lead at home to give FSU a conference win...Since roughly half of our total readership (of 4) is Nebraska fans, I guess I need to avoid commenting on that game...Illinois lost again, Ron Zook is very much an endangered species...Duke has 2 straight ACC wins and they almost beat Virginia Tech in their one loss. Beware of the Blue Devils!...Ole Miss won a game! The sky is falling!...Syracuse won, but let's be honest, their wins are against Northwestern, Maine, and Akron...Idaho's run of victories ended when they scored 45 but allowed 70(!) points against New Mexico...Notre Dame beat BC, and is officially the best Catholic 1-A school...Navy defeated Wake without throwing a pass. This should tell us something about the Deacs run defense...

That's all for this week. See you next!

Rankings Rant

Hey, the machine heads have come out with their first rankings, so let's take a gander at the BCS rankings...

How Florida garnered the #1 ranking is something that bugs me. Alabama has played much better than the Gators have thus far. I'm no prouder to say that than anyone else, but it's the truth.

So, in the BCS computers' connected Skynet-style evermind, Oregon should be ranked below LSU and Southern Cal. They're all 1-loss teams, so why do I choose to harp on this? Well, simply put: Oregon's lone loss (to the #4 team in the nation) is better than Southern Cal's (Unranked Washington). Oregon's wins against ranked schools (then-#6 Cal and #18 Utah) are better than USC's (then-#8 Ohio State, then-#24 Cal and then-#25 Notre Dame) and LSU's (then-#18 Georgia).

LSU hasn't beaten a currently ranked team, and their non-conference schedule is an atrocity (in fairness, they did beat Washington, which is more than Southern Cal can say). I'm all for the Ducks of Eugene being ranked higher.

Oh, and Pittsburgh is ranked #21. Someone please explain that one to me. They've played no one with a current ranking, and their loss came to the dang NC State Wolfpack! NC State lost to Duke! Didn't just lose: Got thrashed by Duke! Yet a team that the Wolpack defeated is declared one of the Top 25, and is undefeated in conference play! What does that say about the Big East?

So that's it...see you later!

Saturday in Review 10/17/09

On a day where so many of the Top 25 looked so mediocre (That's you, Florida, Alabama, Texas, Virginia Tech, Ohio State, Miami, Nebraska, Oklahoma State, Kansas, and BYU) I suppose I have a bit to talk about. And blog about. And...Oh, heck, let's just get started.

Arkansas-20, #1 Florida-23

So, Florida fans, still convinced that your team is deserving of a #1 ranking and heaps of adulation? Even after you nearly lose to a 3-2 team in the stadium that you yourselves bill as "the toughest place to win in college football?" (NOTE: If you do still believe that, then you've really drunk the Kool-Aid. Congrats! You're well on your way to firing Urban Meyer when he does something "bad." No, not like rob a liquor store or actually kill a guy. Like lose 2 games in a season. Unforgivable!)

If Arkansas's kicker was able to hit anything (this includes the ground after falling out of a plane, water after falling out of a boat, and baseballs thrown by Brad Lidge this season) (Zing!) then we'd be looking at a 5-1 Florida squad and hearing another speech from St. Timmy of Gainesville. (NOTE: I don't actually hate Tim Tebow. He seems to be an excellent guy...just over-adulated by the media. What else is new?)Instead, Florida escapes, and will certainly stay in the Top 5, and probably will retain the #1 spot...

Since we're here (and really, isn't derision what you're here for?) I want to know how much Florida paid for that personal foul call on their final touchdown drive. It wasn't a bad call, it was an invisible call! Seriously, kids, I still have no idea where the personal foul came from, where it was, or by whom it was committed. The heck of it is: Florida was driving well! They didn't need any help! But that was not the worst part of this game.

No, the worst part of this game was the commentating, specifically Verne Lundquist who might or might not have actually been watching the game. After Arkansas receiver Greg Childs caught the ball around 35 yards downfield and ran for 40 yards, he fumbled on the goal line, then recovered in the back of the end zone. The inept officials wanted to review the play for heaven-knows-what reason, and Lunquist offers this gem of a question: "Maybe it was an incompletion?" I will now let guest blogger Wes from Fayetteville interject his comment: "he ran for 40 YARDS!" So, let's take a straw poll. Who thinks Verne was drunk? Who thinks Verne wasn't paying attention? Who thinks Verne thought we were watching the 1922 Princeton/Swarthmore game and he was wondering why they had made this new-fangled "forward pass" a legal play? No matter how you slice it, it still wasn't nearly as bad as this gem (<-That is a link to the past...) Speaking of 'Bama...

#22 South Carolina- 6, #2 Alabama-20
So the Fighting Chickens of Columbia stuck with the Disgusting Red Algal Blooms of Tuscaloosa. (Handy link in Red!) Alabama's defense looked great, and their offense looked, well, pathetic. Mark Ingram ran for 246 yards and they still only beat the Chickens by 14 at home! During homecoming! (Side Note: Anyone else see the Nick Saban speech to the crowd at the homecoming rally? The man used the royal "we" about himself! Please, Alabama fans, stop the madness. He's a coach, not a king!) (Further side note: Most 'Bama fans would willingly exchange their political freedom for a Crimson Tide title. I wish I was joking about this.)

South Carolina, meanwhile, never got anything going on offense. Heck, their second play from scrimmage was intercepted and run back! They kicked 2 field goals in the second, threw for a fair number of yards and did basically nothing else offensively. One time they got down to the Alabama 5, then ran the same play 3 straight times for 3 straight incompletions! What the heck?! Fail one time: Good defense. Fail 2 times: Bad playcalling. Fail 3 times consecutively? Someone on the SC coaching staff should have lost a finger for that one... Spurrier's defense looked pretty good in holding Alabama to 1 offensive touchdown, but I have a question for Nick Saban:

How on earth does your running back go for 246 yards and you still only score 1 offensive TD?! The man made 2 and a half trips up the field by himself and you scored once with him in the 4th quarter...Something is amiss!

Speaking of amiss...

#20 Oklahoma-13, #3 Texas-16

Oklahoma's season is fast turning into the "what could have been" season. Indeed, Bob Stoops might be the first coach to have two teams under his command in the same season: He has 1 team in the field and one team in the hospital...

Texas again looked underwhelming in a victory, but they are undefeated and they did finally play a ranked opponent. This game was amazingly sloppy, though, with 3 Texas turnovers and 5 turnovers for the Sooners. As every brain dead commentator in the country has doubtless pointed out by now: It is difficult to win when one has 5 turnovers...

Finally, let us not forget that the big news of the day was the injury suffered by Sam Bradford. Sam, who is a seriously goofy looking fellow when he is not wearing his helmet, landed on his shoulder again and left the game again. His team lost again, and will probably drop out of the Top 25 next week, since they have a .500 record. It's hard (<-pronounced "impossible") for me to have a large degree of pity on a national program with millions of dollars of revenue, tons of boosters, and loads of pro talent. But you still have to feel for amateur athletes who are (in theory) not being paid to take these kind of beatings. Here's hoping that Bradford's either a good student or a good healer, because these injuries are seriously hurting his pro potential.

Speaking of hurting...

#4 Virginia Tech-23, #19 Georgia Tech-28

This game really wasn't as close as the score indicates. For the whole second half, Georgia Tech's much maligned defense put the clamps on Virginia Tech's offense, while the option of the Yellow Jackets ran all over the vaunted Hokie defense. Which brings me to a point, albeit not a happy one:

So, let me get this straight: You are defending an option team. You know they are going to run the football. Not only do you know this, but you also have a dynamic defensive line, designed to hit QBs and stop big runs. You then proceed to do the only logical thing and get destroyed on the ground. Georgia Tech completed 1 pass this entire game. Yes, it was for a big gain, but they also threw an interception. The other 5 GT pass attempts fell innocently to the turf in Atlanta. Yet here we are, analyzing a Virginia Tech loss. Look, I know the option is hard to stop, but Miami (the same team Virginia Tech scored 31 on!) successfully shut it down. But, while I'd love to complain, the Hokies have no one to blame for this but themselves--and this is no ordinary loss for a couple of reasons:

1.) This pretty much cuts all ACC teams out of the National Title picture. You can make an argument for Miami or Georgia Tech, but you have a better shot of winning the lottery with the numbers one-one-one-one-one-one-one than you do of seeing either of those squads in the title game

2.) This game really messes up the ACC Coastal Division. (By the way: Coastal? Blacksburg, VA is, like, 300 miles from the beach) Now you have the scenario I asked about a few weeks ago: You have Miami, Virginia Tech, and Georgia Tech. They have all beaten one another, and if they win out it's anyone's guess who wins the Division and goes to the ACC Title Game. I guess Virginia Tech has the best candidacy right now, since they lost by the fewest points...

3.) The worst news (both for the ACC as a whole and especially for Virginia Tech) is that this puts UV-friggin'-a as the leader of the Coastal Division. Yes, that's the same UVa who lost to William and Mary in week one...I think I'm going to go cry now.

Speaking of crying (OK, the gag's no longer funny. I'll stop)

#6 Southern Cal-34, #25 Notre Dame-27

Notre Dame drops another one to Southern Cal as the Charlie Weis (I've been spelling his name wrong for, like, a year and a half now. No one corrected me...) job watch countdown begins. Southern Cal has won on the road against tough teams twice now, and though both games had their fair share of close calls, one must tip their cap to the Trojans. They've played a tougher-than-average non-conference schedule (Not that that's saying much. I'm looking at Texas when I say that) and they deserve to be commended for doing so. That's all the praise Pete Carroll's getting out of me this week! Now go away, you silver-haired jerk! (Side note: You figure with that signature look that Pete knocks all the single 65 year old ladies off their feet? Sure, he's married, but I know Lou Holtz is quite the ladies' man. JoePa is too. When he knows what direction the ladies are...)

As for the Irish, they've done well in games against inferior foes. (Best win: Probably that near-loss at Purdue. More on the Boilermakers later) Against teams with even close to equal talent? Not so much. A friend of mine once pointed out that Charlie Weis's "signature win" is currently a close loss to Southern Cal. I guess this qualifies as another, similar, game. Not sure where the Irish will wind up this year, though it will certainly not be a BCS game. Maybe they can play Hawaii again and people will think that they're "back" again next year. This myth will continue after they beat Navy, Western Carolina, and Northeast Nebraska State Technical College for the One-Armed. Then they'll lose to Ohio State and still only fall to 17th in the polls. Let's all hope I'm wrong. To cheer you up this is an Irish-gold link to Lou Holtz swearing on National TV. You're welcome in advance. Watch that, then let's move on...

#7 Ohio State-18, Purdue-26

The upset of the week, and further proof that the Buckeyes just aren't as good as everyone thinks they are. I've mocked them endlessly, but games like this are what provide the ammo. Purdue hasn't been a relevant team in years, and while road games are tough, even Notre Dame managed a win in Purdue! Ohio State is still one of the best teams in the Big 11, and they can still win the conference title, but they'll have to win at Penn State to do it. Ohio State can really screw things up if they beat Iowa on November 14th. If the Buckeyes pull that off, look for pandemonium to reign supreme in the Big 10 + 1, and for some bizarre loophole to send Northwestern to the Rose Bowl. (Kidding, kidding. It will all-but certainly be Penn State, Iowa, or Ohio State. Which of the 3 is anyone's guess...)

As for Purdue...good job on the win. Now go back to obscurity! We'll call you in a few weeks if Michigan gets ranked again...

#9 Miami-27, Central Florida-7

OK, Miami, we get it. You had a tough start to the season, so you schedule some softies. We get it. Please go back to playing actual teams...

To answer the inevitable question, no, I am not sure if their opponent this next week counts. Clemson ain't what they used to be.

#11 Iowa-20, Wisconsin-10

Iowa came back on the road against a conference foe. That's the good news. The bad news is that they trailed at all to a Wisconsin team whose best win this season is against Minnesota. The Badgers aren't that good.

Still, Iowa is on an ever-shortening list of undefeated teams, and they are creeping upward. If they stay undefeated it will be very difficult to deny them a slot in the Championship Game. If that happens, then we get to put up with 700,000 more stories about Big 10 ineptitude compared to the might of the Big 12 and the PAC-10 and the SEC. (The fact that the Big 10, ACC, Big East, Big 12, and PAC-10 all have the same number of actual championships the last 3 years is never actually mentioned...) Iowa's last rough game is against Ohio State on November 14. Meaning that if they lose this season it will probably be to Northwestern or Minnesota on a last second drive, since that's how college football works...

Colorado State-6, #12 TCU-44

TCU's in a conference with 3 good teams and 6 bad ones. Can you guess in which column Colorado State is located?

Minnesota-0, #14 Penn State-20

Penn State wins at home against a team that is inferior to them. Color me unimpressed. Penn State only has one game of any significance left, and that is their matchup against Ohio State on November 7. Next week's tilt at Michigan could potentially knock them out of the Big 10 title, but beating Ohio State and then praying for the Buckeyes to beat the Hawkeyes (raise your hand if you're still with me) is the only way that Penn State can come away with a title in the conference realistically. Of course, we all know reality has no place in college football. (See Southern Cal's 2003 "National Championship" if you don't believe me...)

Texas Tech-31, #15 Nebraska-10

So, uhhh, Nebraska...where did your defense go? I mean, you know Texas Tech likes to throw the ball (234 pass yards compared to 25 rush yards) so why not try, I dunno, pass defense?

The story of this game, however, was the turnover margin. Nebraska's 2 turnovers killed them, especially since they had more yards than Texas Tech! The fumble run-back for a touchdown hurt, and I'm sure more than a few Nebraska fans could use a hug. I will not be administering hugs, however. Merely sarcasm and contempt.

The good news for the Huskers is that they are still very much in control of their own destiny regarding a BCS bowl, since they are still one of the better teams in their division. For right now, it looks like the Nebraska-Kansas game on the 14th of November will be the deciding factor in the North Division of the Big 12. (No offense, Kansas State.) (No, that second word in parenthesis isn't read oh-FENCE. It's read OFF-ense. K-State can't score, so they're not a threat in the Big 12 North. Yes, this was an unfunny joke and it is a side-effect of typing these over-long posts on this thing. Let's move on...)

Missouri-17, #16 Oklahoma State-33

So, remember when Missouri was undefeated and in position to take charge of the Big 12 North? My, how 2 weeks fly past. Missouri stuck with Oklahoma State (hence them being on the list of "mediocre performance" teams at the start of this post) but they could never overtake the Cowboys.

For OSU, meanwhile, they finally scored a win against a halfway decent team. That it took them most of the game to finally put a squad that threw 3 interceptions and was still somehow in it until the 4th quarter. Missouri outgained Oklahoma State, and really beat itself, rather than falling to the squad in bright orange. And while this is Oklahoma State's best win so far this season, I'm going to venture to say that Halloween will bring them some nasty surprises in Austin. So enjoy next week against Baylor, Cowboys, because it only gets tougher from there...

#17 Kansas-30, Colorado-34

So Colorado jumps out to a 24-3 lead, blows it, and still wins. Gotta love the Big 12 and their defense optional football! Kansas was as one-dimensional of a team as I have ever seen, throwing for 431 yards and rushing for -7 yards...

Colorado, meanwhile, went with a new quarterback and beat a team finally (No offense, Wyoming...). The Buffaloes are now on top of Missouri in the conference standings (yeah, who thought we'd read that this season).

As you can tell, I was half asleep for this one, so analysis here might be a wee bit sketchy. Let's go on...

#18 BYU-38, San Diego State-28

Utah is a boring state. Congrats to BYU on the 500th win, though. Only 374 wins until you catch Michigan!

#23 Houston-44, Tulane-16

Beating Tulane isn't really an accomplishment, so much as a duty. The Green Wave aren't very good, and it's looking like Houston might be back on its feet after the loss to UTEP 2 weeks ago. I really don't have much more to offer you. I mean, it's Houston and Tulane for crying out loud...

#24 Utah-35, UNLV-15

Utah is a boring state.

Tales from the Bottom 95

Michigan beat Delaware State to move to 1-1 all time against 1-AA teams. Congrats to the Hornets who took a dive to Michigan and forfeited a conference game just so they could get paid. Way to represent your school!...Clemson killed Wake Forest, and Riley Skinner is looking less and less like a big time QB and more and more like a Wake Forest QB...California crushed UCLA in the battle of the disappointing PAC-10 teams...Boston College beat NC State to take the lead in the ACC Atlantic Division, like that means anything...Idaho beat Hawaii to move to 3-0 in the WAC...The Vandals, not Boise State, are technically leading the conference. Chew on that fact for a couple minutes...Kentucky beat Auburn, thus proving that any team I praise at all will proceed to falter and sputter for the next few weeks...If that theory is true, then it's a good thing I praised Southern Cal's performance above...Iowa State won their first Big 12 game since 2007...In spite of what I said above, K-State did score 62 this week. Mind you, they did so against Texas A&M. Soooo...Lastly, Western Carolina University snapped its conference losing streak by winning at home. Hooray for the Catamounts!

Hooray that this week's posting is over. See you later with a Rankings Rant!

Other day(s) in Review!

So, let's take a look at the 2 games that took place thus far this week, AND what's wrong with the present rankings! First, the games:

#5 Boise State-28, Tulsa-21

OK, so much was made of this game, since it might be the last challenge Boise faces until they play in a bowl. In addition, much was made of the fact that Boise barely beat Tulsa (and didn't look great doing so). The reason that a mountain was made of that mole hill is because Oklahoma played (and killed) Tulsa. Allow me a moment of defense for the Broncos:

The fact that Oklahoma crushed Tulsa is just about totally meaningless. Simply put, college football is wildly unpredictable, making it nearly impossible to gauge one victory compared to another. In this case, we mustn't make the mistake of looking at the Boise/Tulsa game and the Oklahoma/Tulsa game and calling it a day. We must also look at Oklahoma's losses, specifically the loss to BYU. OU lost to BYU by 1 during a neutral site game. BYU lost to Florida State by 26 points at home. This was after Florida State had lost to Miami by 4 at home. By this logic, Miami should have killed Oklahoma, since a team they defeated beat the team that beat Oklahoma. Instead, OU stuck with the Hurricanes, losing by 1 on the road.

My point? In college you must, for better or worse, compare the body of work and not head-to-head matchups. Boise is 1-0 against ranked teams, OU is 0-2. Just because OU buried Tulsa in Norman and Boise barely skirted past defeat in Tulsa doesn't mean that the Sooners are somehow better than the Broncos. But if Boise loses 1 game, then they're out of the BCS. Oklahoma has already lost 2 and can still easily make a BCS bowl (Well, not "easily." They basically have to win out.). Oh well, life's not fair

As for the game, the real salient feature for me was the last-second sideline penalty on Tulsa. While it wound up being meaningless to the final outcome of the game, it was a flag that needn't have been thrown. Coaches run onto the field to scream at refs or talk to players. In this case, a ref and a coach bumped into one another on the sidelines (off camera, I might add) and the flag got tossed. I'm sorry, but if actual (if unintentional) physical contact is what it takes to get a flag, something is wrong! Plus, of all the times to throw the flag, why pick a time with under 3 minutes left in the 4th? Let's move on...

#8 Cincinnati-34, #21 USF-17

Winning on the road against a ranked school is hard to do. I will (legitimately!) tip my cap to Cincinnati before I mock them. This game was a matchup of the only ranked schools in the Big East. Provided that the rankings mean anything (let's be honest, at this stage of the season that's anyone's guess) this game probably was for the Big East title. Cincy played the only (currently) ranked team on their schedule, played them on the road, and beat them rather badly. Looking at it from a non-USF fan's perspective, however, the Bulls shouldn't have been ranked.

Why? Well, their schedule, for one thing. South Florida's best win is probably their road victory against then-inexplicably-ranked-Florida State. USF beat nobody (including 2 1-AA nobodies and a team that moved up to 1-A last season) on their way to a #21 ranking. They were undefeated in non-conference play, but of the teams they beat, 2-3 Charleston Southern has the best record. (Charleston Southern note: And only 1 of their wins was against a 1-AA team!) In essence, South Florida was ranked simply because they were one of 8 teams without a loss. That number is now down to 7...

Don't get me wrong, Cincinnati has no business being ranked this high, either. By virtue of this win, they'll either stay a Top 10 team or go even further up, since 6 of the teams ranked above them have at least the potential to lose this week in a non-cupcake matchup. (Those 6 being Florida, Texas, Alabama, Virginia Tech, Southern Cal, and Ohio State)

The point here is simple: Cincy, like Southern Cal in recent years (No, not this year or last. Please just read and don't be so critical of my criticism), is benefiting from playing in a nobody conference. That their best non-conference game was a road trip to Oregon State is just icing on the cake. Look for Cincinnati to win the Big East, and potentially go undefeated up until they inexplicably make it into the National Title game. Then look for them to get beaten by 40 by the winner of this year's Florida/Alabama SEC game. But, hey, I've been wrong before! (And I hope I am again...about this whole paragraph.)

Rankings Rant

I still don't understand why Iowa is 11th. Cincinnati is undefeated, has played worse teams, and is ranked 8th. Virginia Tech has played similarly ranked teams, has lost a game, and is ranked 4th. Texas, also undefeated, has played no one and is 3rd...

So Oklahoma wins a game and drops a slot? That's just wrong. Sure, the win was against Baylor, but I'll say it again: The team ranked right below them (South Florida, if you forgot...) played Wofford, Western Kentucky, Charleston Southern, Florida State, and Syracuse. Forgive me if I'm unimpressed.

Utah, Notre Dame, and Houston are all ranked again...I'm fine with this so long as none of 'em make the Top 10...

OK, that's all for this week, we'll be taking a look at Saturday once Saturday, you know, actually happens...

Saturday in Review 10/10/09

Another glorious day in the world of college football...let's take a gander at the games of interest. And the games of no interest (that's you, UNC/Georgia Southern!).

#1 Florida-13, #4 LSU-3

A defensive explosion coupled with 10,000 stories about Tim Tebow and his brain damage (or lack thereof). Timmy's head was fine, and I believe that the focus was on the wrong side of the ball: the story of this game was defense. Both these teams scored 20 or more points before this game, and neither one came that close in this game. Florida won because of a defense that stymied the Tigers at every turn, and even with the legendary loud crowd in Death Valley shouting and screaming with all they had, Florida was still in charge of this game, largely because of a vastly superior defense. Let's move on to something more interesting...

Colorado-14, #2 Texas-38

So Colorado, a team with 1 win and a streak of mediocrity running back to 2003 sticks with a Texas squad who has yet to play any real threats (Best win: Texas Tech at home. Hardly impressive this year). Texas could very realistically be in trouble against Oklahoma next week, especially since the Sooners, despite their rather unremarkable showings against BYU and Miami, have at least played someone.

Texas, it would seem, has trouble starting against these mediocre opponents. They struggled early against Wyoming and Colorado, something they can't afford to do against Oklahoma, especially with Sam Bradford back in the Sooners' lineup. Texas did look rather convincing in the second half of this game, though they did so against a team that is inferior to them in every facet of the game, so forgive me if I'm not that impressed. As stated earlier (like, 2 weeks ago), the Longhorns basically have to win out, since their schedule is pathetically weak.

If you're looking for analysis on Colorado, look elsewhere. Like a psychiatrist's office...

#3 Alabama-22, #20 Ole Miss-3

Remember last week when I made fun of Jevan Snead because he hasn't won anything? Yeah, he still hasn't. Ole Miss got a preseason Top 10 ranking, a Sports Illustrated cover, and a shot at a National Title (let's face it, if you're not in the preseason Top 25, you won't make the National Title game...) all based on a good coach, some decent players, and a long winning streak against mostly mediocre teams (exclusions: LSU and Texas Tech). Congrats, by the way, if you can decipher all of those parenthetical comments into a sentence. Let's go to a new paragraph...

Ole Miss reached heights reserved for elite (or at least good) teams based on pure conjecture. Boise State has much more business in the Top Five than Ole Miss ever did. Let's move to the good team, since we won't see the Rebels up here in the Top 25 for a good little while.

'Bama's been a good football team this year, and unless they stumble inexplicably (something Southern Cal normally does) (and you thought I wouldn't mention them this week. Ha!) I'd look for the Crimson Tide to go to the SEC Championship game again and play Florida. In short, this season's SEC looks a whole heck of a lot like last season's SEC. Not that that's a bad thing...

Boston College-14, #5 Virginia Tech-48

After the BC Eagles beat the Hokies the last two years during the regular season, Virginia Tech put the hammer to their old foes this year, since they won't be playing them in the ACC Championship Game. In fairness, the Eagles are a team in repair, and the game was in Blacksburg, so this isn't that impressive. Virginia Tech must win the game next week in Atlanta against Georgia Tech to really prove that they're top dog in the ACC. Boston College, meanwhile, has some serious issues to resolve, though they can still win their division of the ACC. It would seem that one side of the ACC has the lion's share of good teams, meaning that a 3rd straight BC/VT game is a realistic possibility for the ACC Championship. In fact, with no front runner in a division that Florida State was supposed to "dominate" this year, it's fair to say BC has as good a chance as any team to get to another ACC Championship game. And heaven help the conference if that happens...

Wisconsin-13, #9 (really?) Ohio State-31

Wisconsin's 5-1 now, so one might wonder why this game was such a laugher. Simply put, it's because Wisconsin reeled off all those victories by playing a weak nonconference schedule and 2 of the worse teams from their conference (apologies to Minnesota). Ohio State is the better of the two teams, and they're one of the 3 best squads in the Big 11.

So, you may ask, why do I have a problem with Ohio State's ranking? Because they've done nothing to earn it. I am so much more OK with Florida at #1 now because they beat LSU. Ohio State's lone loss came to their lone ranked foe. Granted, that was a good game, but it was still a loss. Ohio State is a one-loss team in the Top 10 because they've beaten Navy, Toledo, Illinois, Indiana, and now Wisconsin. I hate to keep knocking the crap out of this dead horse, but Miami has a road loss against a Top 10 team (before favoritism accusations are made, remember that I didn't put Virginia Tech there, the AP voters did), wins over 3 other ranked opponents (yes, 1 was Florida State. They could still beat Navy by more than 4), and the Hurricanes are ranked 2 spots below the Buckeyes. Please, someone explain this to me!

Ohio State does have to play Penn State and Iowa in consecutive weeks in November. They look to be undefeated up until that point, so those 2 games will provide a golden chance to show us if the Buckeyes deserve this ranking. Until then, the derision continues unabated!

#10 TCU-20 (purple font really doesn't show up well on this background), Air Force-17 (apparently neither does blue)

I have a hard time seeing TCU running the table against both BYU and Utah. If the MWC does want another BCS bid, though, they'll tell the Cougars and Utes to roll over for the Horned Frogs. TCU barely edged out Air Force, whose best win is a toss-up between a road win at New Mexico and a home win against San Diego State. Not gonna lie, I have a hard time seeing TCU just barely nudging themselves over Air Force, winning out, and beating a major conference champion in a BCS bowl game. I'm not saying it can't happen, I'm merely pointing out the unlikely nature of such an outcome.

Florida A&M-16, #11 Miami-48

Miami played 4 straight ranked teams. 3 of those teams actually deserved to be ranked. I hate cupcake games with a passion, but if any team in Division 1-A (FBS only if you're a loser) earned one, it's Miami. That's all I've got for this one.

Michigan-28, #12 Iowa-30

Dear Michigan,

Hi, it's me again. Look, I know I'm kind of cheating, writing you this letter when you're not technically a member of the Top 25 anymore, but I just couldn't help myself. You finally got an opportunity to play a good ranked team (No, Notre Dame still doesn't count, Coach Rodriguez) and you blew it. I respect you for sticking close with Iowa on the road, but it seems like Iowa enjoys playing close games. I'm not trying to say that they "perform under pressure" or similar nonsense, I'm just saying that the Hawkeyes are an incredibly schizophrenic team. Heck, they beat you guys by twice as many points as they beat Northern Iowa. That's not an insult! They only beat Northern Iowa by 1! They beat you by 2! Don't schedule any 1-AA foes, because we all know how well that turned out (click "turned out" if you forgot...). Wait, you have 1-AA Delaware State next week? Oh, well so much for that plan...
Let's look on the bright side: You'll probably beat Delaware State. Plus, since the AP Ranking committee is just about totally brain dead, if you beat them by enough, the committee will forget how you lost 2 straight games, and you'll come back into the Top 25. Then you can keep getting my letters! Won't that be great?!

Sincerely,
Bones

#13 Oregon-24, UCLA-10

Oregon keeps on rolling through its PAC-10 schedule. The most impressive bit about this game was Oregon's scoring on a kickoff return and an interception return. Teams that can score on special teams and defense are dangerous teams indeed. Oregon's game against USC on Halloween weekend looks like it is the de facto PAC-10 championship game. Unless the Trojans lay another egg along the way. (Hey, a guy can hope...)

As for the lesser of LA's football teams...UCLA is still playing second fiddle, and they will be until they can beat Southern Cal and win the PAC-10. This season, look for them to do neither. They could, however, beat the Oakland Raiders.

Eastern Illinois-3, #14 Penn State-52

I am going to sound like a broken record. If you're a regular reader, just keep going, because you've probably read this before...

Penn State plays in a conference that has been trashed (not without reason!) by college football pundits. Since Ohio State won their last title in the 2003 Fiesta Bowl, the Big 11 has done absolutely nothing of note on the college football landscape. Heck, the Big 10 + 1, the Big East, and the ACC (yeah, I'll admit it) are the 3 conferences that make the BCS look like even more of a sham than it already is. So, to help prove that their conference is still relevant, Penn State (one of the flagship schools of said conference) is going to play against a team that pretty much defines cupcake. This simply does not make sense! Schedule someone good! Or at least a mediocre 1-A team. I would rather defend Penn State playing Florida Atlantic (thanks, Nebraska) than try to parse through a 49 point slaughter of a team that took a bullet to get a paycheck.

#15 Oklahoma State-36, Texas A&M-31

Oh my goodness! Oklahoma State beat a 1-A team away from home! (Kids, let's pause for a moment and think what it says about the Cowboys that I can write that sentence without one shred of sarcasm SIX FREAKIN' WEEKS INTO THE SEASON!!!) (Pause over, let's resume)

The Aggies stuck with Oklahoma State, and you can't convince me that the loss of Dez Bryant "hurt" OSU. They scored 36 points, and they play in the Big 12, where defense is optional for most teams. Yes, Bryant's a playmaker, but do you really need a playmaker against a team whose last conference win was against Colorado on November 1 of 2008? You shouldn't.

In fact, with Georgia losing to Tennessee this week, it's looking like Oklahoma State's best win is against Houst--oh, wait. Their best win is still Georgia, but that's becoming more and more of a pathetic statement. If you're an Oklahoma State fan and you want the mockery to stop, beat Missouri convincingly (you're at home), beat Texas, and close out the season with a win over Oklahoma. Good luck.

Iowa State-36, #16 Kansas-41

Further defense optional football from the Big 12. Riddle me this, how come Iowa held Iowa State to 3 points, and Kansas let them score 36? Short answer: Kansas hasn't played anyone. Long answer: Kansas seriously hasn't played anyone.

The Jayhawks, as stated last week, need to show up for the last half of their season. The games against Northern Colorado, UTEP, and Duke are in the past. We'll find out alot more about Kansas when they play Oklahoma, Nebraska, and Texas between now and the end of the season. Good luck.

#17 Auburn-23, Arkansas-44

Typical. I give a modicum of praise to Auburn and they perform pathetically against a team that no one thinks of as a threat in the SEC. Heck, aside from the 3rd Quarter, Auburn's offense was as non-extant as it was last year! Looks like the Tigers still have some work to do this year. Especially since they have LSU and Alabama remaining on the schedule. I think they'll do alright, and they should be bowl bound this season (they only need 1 more win to be eligible, draw your own conclusions regarding how much sense that makes).

#18 BYU-59, UNLV-21

Utah is a boring state.

Baylor-7, #19 Oklahoma-33

Boy, who thought we'd see Oklahoma clinging to a Top 20 position at this point? Sure, they have Bradford back, but the fact that they've lost 2 games before the Red River Shootout this coming Saturday says something about these Sooners. They can still win their conference, but they're going to have to beat 2 ranked teams to win their division of the Big 12. Since they're 0-2 against ranked teams thus far, I wouldn't hold my breath. Still, they have very little to lose, and those 2 ranked teams in the division are the Sooners' biggest rivals. Unfortunately for Oklahoma, they also have to beat Kansas and Nebraska who are in the other division of the Big 12, and who are also ranked. Let's hope the Sooner Schooner carries aspirin...

Speaking of injuries, while it was good to see Sam Bradford back, was it really fair to make that big of a deal over his return? Seriously, I'm glad he's healthy, college football is better with him rather than without him, but the game was against Baylor. Not exactly a powerhouse team. Look for the Texas game to be a bit more telling of Bradford's health.

#22 Georgia Tech-49, Florida State-44

Georgia Tech puts up another W, and this one on the road in a highly hostile environment. Good job by the Yellow Jackets and their scary option offense. This coming week's game against Virginia Tech will really decide the fate of that division of the ACC (Barring anything bizarre happening. Which, considering how screwy college football can be, you can never bar the bizarre). If Virginia Tech wins, their path to another ACC Championship game is fairly clear. If Georgia Tech wins, you can easily have a 3-way tie atop the division...

As for Florida State...O! How the mighty have fallen! It's a little sad to see Bobby Bowden's waning years spent being a glorified caretaker of a once-proud football program. Sure, Bowden's teams of the 90's were often filled with thugs and scum, but...well, I really don't have a point there.

In all seriousness, though, the guy's a coaching legend. Paterno in Penn State can at least hang his hat on good seasons in recent years, but Florida State hasn't been a National Championship threat for quite some time, and it's really not fair that Coach Bowden will probably be leaving after some sort of mediocre season, rather than a magical one. I suppose that's why they make sports movies; reality is often much less pleasant to watch.

Kentucky-26, #25 South Carolina-28

Steve Spurrier, whether you love him or hate him (Blogger's note: If you love him you are either his wife, mother, or on the University of South Carolina's payroll.) is a fairly good football coach. South Carolina might actually deserve to be ranked, thanks in large part to the fact that Spurrier, even though he's a jerk, can coach. He's also 17-0 against Kentucky. Mind you, most of those 17 wins came while Spurrier was at Florida, making that stat as impressive as if he were 17-0 against St. Mary's School for the Blind and Deaf (Blogger's note: That school probably is on Florida's schedule next year...). Still, good to see SC on a win streak. Don't look for it to continue, since they roll into Tuscaloosa to play the Crimson Tide next week. I'd say "good luck" but I hate Spurrier, too...

And now...Tales from the Bottom 95

UNC broke its 2 game losing streak this week. Mind you, they did so against Georgia Southern...Tennessee pulled of a huge win against Georgia this weekend. It's a huge win for the Vols...Houston beats Mississippi State to prove that they can still beat mediocre teams from big conferences...UVa has won 2 straight games. They might make it 3 straight since they play Maryland next week...Anyone else find it odd that 4 Top 10 teams got the week off this week? Just curious...Duke beat NC State, which might be less a commentary on how bad the Wolfpack is and more of a commentary on Duke's awesome win one, lose one pattern. If they keep the pattern all year, they'll be 6-6! A bowl for Duke! Imagine that! Then wake up...Idaho's 2-0 in the WAC. Do I smell a showdown with Boise? (No, the Broncos will probably be up 30 on the Vandals by halftime. Just throwing that out there)...


That's it for this week. Join us again later, probably for a Rankings Rant, coupled with coverage of the oddly timed Boise State/Tulsa game and the Cincinnati/South Florida duel which will determine the supreme team in the awesomely mediocre Big East!

Thursday's Display

#21 Nebraska-27, #24 Missouri-12

Missouri finally plays a decent team aaaaand loses. Nebraska had come close to winning a game in a hostile environment and, in this non-professional semi-journalist's opinion, that helped with their victory on the road in Missouri.

As for a breakdown of the game, it was a dark and stormy night, and both teams seemed to be totally insistent on passing the ball, regardless of conditions. The result? 9 points in the first half. Heck, if it weren't for a dreadful snap on a Nebraska punt in the second quarter, you might not have seen any scoring at all, since both Missouri scores came on the play in question (a safety) and on the ensuing possession from a free kick.

Nebraska won again in this rivalry, one that they dominated before 2003, and one which they could realistically dominate again. Nebraska's headed in the right direction under Bo Pelini, though they still have a fairly massive amount of work to do on offense. In the 2 Nebraska games I have watched closely this season, they have scored all their touchdowns during this game's 4th quarter. (NOTE: That sentence was a grammarian's nightmare. I am on Ny-Quil and do not care.) Since their other 3 opponents were Sun Belt teams, we will use these 2 games as the sample size. (NOTE: This is a statistician's nightmare. Still on Ny-Quil. Still don't care.) Nebraska has played 2 teams that stood a chance to compete with them, and has scored touchdowns in one of the 8 quarters they have played against those teams.

Missouri and Nebraska will both make bowls because of the fact that there are 857 bowl games and because they are in the weaker division of the Big 12. The Tigers are an alright football team, meaning that they are simply that: alright. They can beat more than half of the teams in college football, but they can't beat the truly good ones, meaning that they'll hover around the mid-level bowl range for the next few seasons. Enjoy your trips to places like Paducha, Kentucky, Tiger fans!

As for this season, look for the Huskers/Kansas game in November to be the deciding factor in the Big 12 North, which will lead to a showdown (most likely) with Texas for the conference title. Still, since neither of these teams have played tough opponents in consecutive weeks, I'm curious to see how they do in conference play. And now, sweet sardonic sleep.

Rankings Rant

Another day, another rant. Let's see what's wrong with the Top 25 this week...

Riddle me this, selection committee: Why did Boise State move down and Virginia Tech move up? Look, I love my Hokies, but to say that they deserve to move up after beating Duke by 8 is quite silly. Sure, Duke is a 1-A opponent and Boise beat up UC Davis, a 1-AA foe, but that's hardly worthy of pushing them downward. Heck, the #1 team in the country has yet to play a ranked team! Also, the 1-A/1-AA argument is further invalidated by the fact that Duke lost to a 1-AA team earlier this season! Boise is, in my mind, still #5. I, however, do not get a vote, so that is really meaningless...

Further down, Cincinnati is #8 for reasons that I really can't determine. Yes, they're undefeated, but I'm not sure if their best win is Fresno State or Oregon State. Neither one is exactly a "signature" win.

Ohio State has played 1 good team, 4 bad ones, and has a 4-1 record. Miami has played 3 good teams, 1 bad one, and has a 3-1 record. Why is Ohio State ranked 2 spots higher?!

Honestly there's not too much wrong with the rest of the Top 25. Sure, there's some objections to teams with weak schedules taking up space, but with conference play really beginning in earnest this week, the best teams in their respective conferences will begin to rise to the top.

Saturday in Review 10/3/09

Another week, another round of games. This week was disappointingly normal, at least relative to the last few weeks. So let's take a deeply sarcastic look at the old ball games.

#3 Alabama-38, Kentucky-20

'Bama is 35-2-1 against Kentucky all time. While I imagine the numbers in basketball look similar (minus the tie, of course) in favor of Kentucky, it makes one wonder why people think the SEC is a conference that has no compare.

Look, I agree that the SEC is the best conference in the country. With LSU, Florida, Georgia, Alabama, and Auburn they have a high number of very good football teams. Still, the Kentuckys and Vanderbilts of the conference ensure that there are still bad games. Plus, since at least one of the "good" teams has a down year every year (oh, how quickly we forget how bad Florida was in 2003...) it is a bit of an overstatement to claim that the SEC has 5 national championship contenders every year. This year they have Florida and Alabama. LSU might upset Florida in Death Valley this coming Saturday, but mark my words they will not go undefeated and they will not go to a title game, since their loss will either come this week or at Alabama in November.

Oh, well. Time for further analysis of other games, since I didn't watch this one, nor do I care.

#4 LSU-20, #18 UGA-13

6 points in the first 45 minutes, then a touchdown, then 20 points in the final 3 minutes. It was like a brief history of the game of football.

LSU won in a game that they frankly shouldn't have, but the real highlight of this game was the unnecessary celebration penalties handed out to both squads. While I am inclined to agree that celebrations in the NFL are over the top and silly, I disagree with the "put down the ball and look at the ground while you walk not-too-fast-but-not-too-slow back to the sidelines" stance that the NCAA takes with its players. Georgia and LSU's celebration penalties are prime examples. The NCAA's rule states that celebrations shouldn't call attention to the individual, but to the team. OK, I get that, and I get the purpose behind it, but does that mean that all 11 players have to run up to the man who scored the touchdown and give a group hug? Is chest slapping illegal, since one does it to oneself? If so, how come D-linemen and linebackers get to do it whenever they hit a QB? Let the college kids celebrate a little. If they make it to the NFL then they'll get to anyway. Might as well give the less-talented some opportunities as well...

Also, can someone please explain how LSU and Georgia scored so much in the last 3 minutes while slowly going nowhere for the first 57? Since this happens fairly regularly (See the Virginia Tech/Nebraska game from 2 weeks ago) one must wonder why teams don't just stay in the no-huddle 2-minute drill the whole game.

UC Davis-16, #5 Boise State-34

Jeez, man. Boise State, who will probably not make the national title game unless lightning strikes each individual BCS-eligible school twice (in a literal sense), decides to schedule a cupcake instead of an actual opponent. I have a suggestion. Let's pretend that the Cincinnati/Miami (OH) game never happened and that Boise and Cincy faced off. I think we can all agree that would be A) more interesting and B) make it so the Broncos could get into the National Title game without divine intervention.

#6 Virginia Tech-34, Duke-28

How on Earth did Tech beat Miami in just about every facet of the game last week, then narrowly escape Duke this week? Sure, I know the theory that you "play to the level of your competition," but how do you explain Virginia Tech's crushing of Marshall with that theory?

Methinks that the Devils watched some game film and did their homework against Virginia Tech. Otherwise it's a bit difficult to explain the 327 passing yards that Tyrod Taylor had, compared to the small number of rush yards that the Hokies got.. As for Duke, they had one of the most unbalanced offenses ever and they still managed to keep the game very close. Parity, I believe, has created situations that once would have seemed bizarre. Aside from truly and utterly awful football programs (read: Florida International) Division 1-A (or FBS if you're one of the 3 people in the country who actually calls it that) is incredibly close-run. Yes, the Southern Cal's of the world will beat the UAB's of the world more often than not, but upsets are happening with much more regularity thanks to the addition of gimmick offenses and the long-standing tradition of overlooking teams.

As for analysis, it would seem that talk of the Hokies returning to the National Title picture is a bit premature, since Duke came uncomfortably close to winning on Saturday. The Devils, meanwhile, have had a rough go of things this year after some improvement the last 2 years. This good performance may be a sign indicating a return to improvement. Or, it could have been a fluke. We'll see.

#7 USC-30, #24 Cal-3

So does anyone remember when Cal was the 6th ranked team in the country? Yeah, that was a great joke on the part of the AP voters. Seriously, hilarious stuff.

Southern Cal, it would seem, is still atop the PAC-10 for now. They performed well on the road in a performance that really cemented them as the favorites in the conference, and they seem to only have Oregon left as a real obstacle. (No, I don't include Notre Dame on that list. When Charlie Weiss shows up at my house with a crowbar and beats the crap out of me, then I will begin thinking of Notre Dame (and their coach) as a threat)

#8 Oklahoma-20, #17 Miami-21

Miami emerges victorious from its 4th straight matchup against a ranked team, and 3-1 overall during that span (admittedly, the first one was Florida State). The Hurricanes are on a downhill run from here with only one ranked opponent left on the schedule and a 1-AA cupcake game next week. If the right teams win/lose, they're very much in the hunt for an ACC Championship

As for the Sooners, they can still hope for the Big 12 championship, but they are out of the National Title picture (Yeah, who thought that sentence would be typed after 4 games). OU has beaten basically no one (Best win: Tulsa) and they still have some seriously tough games on the schedule (Texas, Kansas, Nebraska, and Oklahoma State are all ranked, and Texas Tech is a threat at home.) The Sooners might soon turn into spoilers instead of contenders, though chaos in the Big 12 is always fun to watch. I'm sure we all remember last year's 3-way tie for the South Division.

#9 Ohio State-33, Indiana-14

The Buckeyes continue to benefit from being one of the few good-to-OK teams in the Big 10 + 1. Indiana isn't very good, and they haven't been for a while, so we can't really chalk this up as a Buckeye victory so much as business as usual for the Hoosiers.

The Buckeyes have put up impressive numbers and still have the potential to go to the Rose Bowl or (if the chips fall right) into the National Title. Indiana has potential to go, frankly, nowhere.

#10 Cincinnati-31, Miami (The bad one. I mean, Ohio)-13

Cincinnati continues it's rise to the top of the Big East. In fairness, that's like rising to the top in a bucket of filth. Sure, you're on top, but look at what else is in the bucket.

It doesn't help that the rest of the Big East is fairly mediocre. I venture to say that the best team in the Big East would struggle against the 4th best team in the SEC. I'd also venture that the Big East will get up to 6 teams (probably more like 5) into the bowls. Finally, I'd venture to say that Boise State could beat all of those teams combined...

SMU-14, #11 TCU-39

TCU continues to move up in rankings and standings. They basically have to crush all their foes for the remainder of the season. SMU, meanwhile, was once a relevant team on the college football landscape. It's remarkable, however, that the death penalty that they received 22 years ago is still crushing the football program in University Park, Texas.

TCU, for their part, is working well to be a BCS buster. They still have tough games against Utah and BYU, but they stand the best chance of representing the Mountain West during this coming Bowl Season.

#12 Houston-41, UTEP-58

Mark my words, it is a good thing that this happened. Why? I will explain in simple terms below:

Logic tells us that an undefeated Houston would make either a BCS bowl (unlikely) or a semi-major bowl. They "proved" themselves against an overrated Oklahoma State squad and a Texas Tech team that is in repair. As a result, they became media darlings and grabbed headlines as a potential BCS buster. Reality came into play this week on the road at UTEP. The same UTEP who, just last week, lost to Texas by 57 points. The relevance, you ask? Well, if lightning had struck just right (and in college football it often does) then you have Houston playing Texas or Virginia Tech or Miami or USC or Penn State in a big-time bowl, losing by 43, then 100 stories about how the BCS busters are irrelevant to an actual college football discussion. Best that this happened now, rather than in January.

Arkansas State-21, #13 Iowa-24

Remember my lampooning of the "play to your competition" theory that I did up above? Yeah, I take that back. Iowa's the only team I can think of that will beat the #5 team in the country by 11 on the road then nearly lose to a Sun Belt opponent at home. Throw in the near-loss to Northern Iowa during week 1, and you have a team that would probably take a pro team to overtime one week, then lose to the Stevie Wonder Institute for the Blind the next. Iowa seems to be a good school, and the Big 11 Championship game may just come down to the Iowa/Ohio State showdown at the Horseshoe in November.

#15 Penn State-35, Illinois-17

You know, sometimes I wonder how Ron Zook does it. He recruited the team that won Florida's national title in 2006-07, he's had some danged awesome talent come through Illinois, and his team has been fairly awful with the exception of 2007's Rose Bowl effort. Zook has to do some serious work in order to keep his job, especially since everyone is aware of his recruiting prowess and his lack of coaching prowess.

Penn State, meanwhile, recovered from their loss to Iowa, but thanks to the lack of a conference championship game, the Nittany Lions will need Iowa and Ohio State to screw up. Look for JoePa to wind up in, like, the Alamo Bowl.

Washington State-6, #16 Oregon-52

Oregon is looking good ever since their loss to Boise to kick off the year. They'll be tested on Halloween when USC comes to town.

As for Washington State, they've been fairly bad these last few years. They're not too good this year either. There, there's your analysis.

Utah State-17, #20 BYU-35

Utah is a boring state.

#21 Mississippi-23, Vanderbilt-7

Mississippi's bounce-back game came at an opportune time, especially when one considers the game they have next week against Alabama. 'Bama is a good football team, and it doesn't look like Ole Miss has much of a chance. Their lone prayer is that the home crowd shuts down Bama's offense, since Mississippi's QB Jevan Snead is the most overhyped player who's won nothing this side of Matt Ryan (yeah, it was unnecessary. Who cares?). Personally, look for Mississippi to play in the Gator Bowl or something similar. They're not going to factor into the BCS.

Vandy is...Vandy. That's the best way I can put it.

#22 Michigan-20, Michigan State-26 (OT)

Dear Michigan,

We all knew this was coming. I told you so during my last 2 letters. You're not a bad football team, you're just not a title contender. Now, take note that you've still not beaten anyone who is legitimately good. You've beaten Notre Dame, who is still overrated, and you've beaten no one else of any consequence whatsoever. Heck, you've only played 2 schools outside the state of Michigan.
I'll continue. Your weasel coach has proved his "worth" by making 2 programs go downhill quickly. Your lust for quick wins led to a schedule that any decent 1-A team could turn into a BCS berth. Sure, you play some tough teams, but I venture to guess that middle-of-the-road Mississippi could have made it this far without going to overtime or losing to Michigan State. I hate to see you go from the Top 25, however, as writing these letters allows me to vent my spleen. It also allows me to use phrases like "vent my spleen," something that people don't get to do enough in this modern college football environment. Oh well, I'll see you again next week since you play Iowa, who happens to be ranked because they actually beat some decent schools.

Sincerely,
Bones

#25 Georgia Tech-42, Mississippi State-31

Apparently Mississippi State has mastered the art of sticking with teams at home. Now all they have to do is A) learn to actually win at home or B) stick with teams at home and on the road. Either way, they'll eventually upset someone, allowing me to vindicate the waste of space and time that these three sentences have become.

Georgia Tech, meanwhile, marks their return to the Top 25 with a victory over an SEC foe. That looks good for the ACC, even if they're only beating Mississippi State. It's better than losing to William and Mary...

Tales from the Bottom 95

So UVa notches their first win. Against UNC. So...what happened to Carolina? They go from "real competitor" to "We lost to who?!" in the span of 2 weeks. I'm curious to hear how Butch Davis can vindicate his salary when he can't even beat UVa. (NOTE: I will never eat those words, even if Carolina can beat Virginia Tech. Know why? Because even if you do beat Tech, you still lost to FRIGGIN' UVA! They lost to William and Mary!)...Louisiana Tech thumped Hawaii Wednesday night. Relevance? Well, does anyone remember when Hawaii was the new Boise State?...Boy, Colorado is bad...Clemson started last year in the Top 10. This season they have lost to Georgia Tech and TCU (not bad losses) and Maryland (apocalyptically bad loss). Maryland has been a punching bag this year. What changed? My theory: Ralph Friedgen promised to eat a player for every loss this season. They didn't believe him at first, but has anyone seen the backup kicker for Maryland recently? Didn't think so...Only 19 of the Top 25 played this week, and yet I still post on Wednesday. Sad, eh?...Auburn beat Tennessee in an ugly game, but it looks like the Tigers' offense is infinitely better than last year's version...

Rankings Rant

Let's take a look at the Top 25, and everything that's wrong with it...


First off, you won't hear any complaints from this blogger about the Top 5. However, if I had one, it's that Boise State and Bama are ranked too low. Yeah, you read that right. Guess I should explain...

The Top 5 teams in college football have currently played a grand total of 2 ranked teams. Not just currently ranked teams, ranked teams period. (If you really want to stretch it, LSU played Washington who managed to get ranked, then promptly flamed out) #17 Miami has played 3 ranked teams, and beat two of them! Miami has one loss (to current #6 Virginia Tech) and yet they're in the bottom half of the poll. Florida has played nobody, yet they sit atop the poll because they are the defending national champions. I agree that they should be ranked, and ranked highly, but they have not proven themselves to be the best team in the country, especially with that pedestrian performance against Tennessee.

If rankings are supposed to prove who can beat whom, then Boise and Bama need to be higher.

Moving down the poll, I'm not entirely sure how Southern Cal vaulted back up into the #7 slot. They got beaten by Washington, fell to 12, then jumped up 4 spots for Penn State, Cal, Ole Miss, and Miami's losses. My question is simple: Why did they leapfrog Oklahoma to move up 5 spots? OU's loss came earlier (traditionally meaning they should be ranked higher until they lose again) against a team that was ranked, unlike USC's loss. Plus, BYU is still ranked, unlike Washington. It doesn't make any sense to me to see the Trojans above the Sooners, but I guess that's why I'm not a voter.

Cincinnati is in the Top 10 for the first time in school history. This is fairly meaningless, but I guess it's good for the Big East to have a Top 10 team. They certainly don't deserve it, since they've played no one, and I doubt they could beat the 110 teams ranked below them, but since they have an incredibly weak schedule, there's a real chance they could wind up with a BCS bid before it's all said and done.

Houston is ranked too low for my tastes. They beat the then-#5 team in the country, are undefeated, and are still ranked below Oklahoma, who was beaten by the then-#20 team in the country. How's that work?

Iowa should probably be ranked higher as well. They, Kansas, and Michigan are the lowest-ranked undefeated teams. The reason Iowa should be ranked higher? Because they beat #5, unlike Kansas and Michigan who have played a gaggle of nobodies.

Question: Why did Miami fall so hard? They got badly beaten, yes, but they also beat 2 ranked schools. Their hard fall teaches schools the wrong lesson: They shouldn't schedule hard teams because losing leads to low rankings. Even if they go undefeated from here on out, I doubt that Miami will make the National Championship game because of 1 Saturday in September.

Nothing else too egregious in the Top 25 this week, we'll wait for next week...