Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Saturday in Review 10/31/09

So, another week, another round of games that's mostly sub-par. No rhyming this time, as I don't want readership to entirely disappear. So, let's go down the Top 25, with our tongues in our cheeks and our pride severely wounded (remember, I'm a Hokie fan...)

Georgia-17, #1 Florida-41

Everyone's making a fuss over Brandon Spikes trying to do a little laser eye surgery (replacing the laser with his finger) on a Georgia player. I reckon it's my blogger's duty to write about the incident, so here goes: I agree that it was a totally unsportsmanlike move by the leader of the Florida defense, but the advantage is that the Gators play Vanderbilt this coming week. So, frankly, unless he grabs a multi-game suspension (at present it's the first half), there will be virtually no recriminations for his actions. It was classless and stupid, but players frequently do worse things off the field of play. At least Spikes had the gumption to attack a fellow football player and not a girlfriend or fast food clerk.

As for the game itself...meh. Georgia's lost to Tennessee and LSU, both of whom have lost to Florida as well. In short, the highlight of this game was Georgia's black pants and helmets which looked sharp, but didn't really impact the game as a whole. There were several uniform tweaks recently (Link to a Pat Forde article on that issue here) but I'm of the opinion that looking cool only helps you mentally if you have a team that's capable of beating the opposition. In this game, Georgia was not that team, but they looked nice as they lost, for whatever that's worth...

#3 Texas-41, #14 Oklahoma State-14

Raise your hand if this surprised you: A team that lost at home to Houston loses at home to another (larger and better) school from Texas. If you raised your hand, stop reading now and go listen to Lee Corso, because you are probably the kind of person who agrees with him. If you didn't raise your hand, keep reading:

This shouldn't have been a top 15 matchup. Oklahoma State's best win is currently a 14 point home win against Georgia, a win that looks less and less impressive as time goes by. Plus, OSU's next best win is either a road victory against Texas A&M or a home win over Missouri. Please forgive me for beating this dead horse, but OSU got into the top 15 by beating a slew of nobodies! At present pace they will have played 2 opponents who will be ranked at the end of the year.

As for the Longhorns, they can't get cocky. I want to support Texas. I really do! Heck, I owe my existence in part to the university! But, man, they've played a bunch of nobodies this year, too! Heck, they're nonconference schedule is worse than Oklahoma State's! At present their best win is a victory over an ailing Oklahoma in the Red River Shootout. Their second best win is...either this game or at Missouri. Color me unimpressed...Also, Texas fans, stamp your tickets to the National Title game, because no one else is going to slow you down.

Indiana-24, #4 Iowa-42

Eventually this has to get old for Iowa fans. For once that expression "the score belies the game" is true. Iowa shouldn't have won this game. Only Indiana, a team that lost to UVa by 40, could screw up a game that they really should have won. They got 5 INTs off of Iowa's quarterback. 5!!! Those are Jake Delhomme numbers! That's absurd!

The big story of this game was an awful awful replay call that took away an Indiana touchdown and gave the ball back to Iowa. But look at it this way: let's take the score, add 7 to Indiana's total, and take away 7 from Iowa. Know what you get? 31-35, Iowa. Indiana would have lost this game regardless of that touchdown, unless you want to credit "momentum" or "confidence" or "bad juju" or "the tooth fairy" to how teams perform and total points. Oh, well, gives the pundits something to write about I reckon...

#5 USC-20, #10 Oregon-47

A good game for those of us who hate Pete Carroll, a bad game for the Trojans and their supporters. Pete got handed his worst loss with the Mustard and Ketchup crew, and the Southern Cal squad did not look so great. Mind you, they've played mediocre teams and have played them close of late, which indicates that this isn't too surprising.

Oregon continues to rise from their awful first game against Boise, and is on the inside track to win the PAC-10 and go on to the Rose Bowl. Which means, now that I've typed that, they'll lose 2, USC will go to the Rose Bowl, and then Pete will somehow argue that they won the title. As is, Matt Hayes at the Sporting News will type something about how SC has to be the best team in the country. I promise.

#6 TCU-41, UNLV-0

I can't analyze this. I will instead give you a stat I saw on Fox Sports Net, which was broadcasting the game in our area: AccuScore ran a simulation of this game 10,000 times. UNLV won 40 of those theoretical games, meaning that TCU won 9,960. UNLV was given a .4% chance to win. This should tell us something about why this score looks like this.

San Jose State-7, #7 Boise State-45

Boise's conference sucks. It's a pity because Boise's win over Oregon is looking better and better, but the Broncos have no chance of making the title game. That's all I got...

#8 Cincinnati-28, Syracuse-7

Know what the difference is between an undefeated Cincinnati and an undefeated Boise State? Cincy is in an automatic qualifying conference that is almost as bad as the conference the Broncos inhabit, but Cincinnati can make the national title game. The Big East is horrible, and Cincy easily looks like the best squad in the conference. They'll likely play the ACC champs in the Orange Bowl again.

Tulane-0, #9 LSU-42

No, LSU, no. You don't earn analysis when you call this a rivalry. Yes, you have agreed to cancel the last years of this sham to play other competition, but that didn't stop you from still crushing Tulane this season, just in case the voters are looking. Quit playing Tulane, quit playing UL-Lafayette. Grow a backbone and play some real teams in your nonconference schedule.

#11 Georgia Tech-56, Vanderbilt-31

ACC team beats SEC team! That's great! Then you read that the best ACC team beats the worst SEC team, and it's far less impressive. Georgia Tech's a good football squad, and I doubt highly that they'll lose again this season, at least not until the ACC championship game. Which, frankly, it's good to see 1 ACC school doing well...

#12 Penn State-34, Northwestern-13

Northwestern stuck with Penn State through 2 quarters. Unfortunately for the Wildcats, there are 4 quarters in a game. The second half, especially the 4th quarter, belonged to the Nittany Lions. JoePa's crew has bounced back nicely from their defeat at the hands of Iowa, and their forthcoming game against Ohio State will be a good one, hopefully. If Penn State wins that one, look for them to cruise to the end of the year and make whatever the second most important Big 10 bowl is.

North Carolina-20, #13 Virginia Tech-17

OK, I was at this game. Sitting there, watching this debacle unfold. Brian Stinespring must be fired. For those of you who don't know, Mr. Stinespring is the offensive coordinator for the Virginia Tech Hokies. He is the man who does the least with the most talent. I got into a conversation after the game with a drunken Asian student who attends Virginia Tech. Between all the F-words and the stumbling, I gathered that he agrees with me on this point.

Seriously, Tech did not deserve to win this game, because for 2 consecutive weeks they have done horribly against the run. Passing plays hurt Tech, but did not sink them. The inability to stop Carolina on 4th down and 8, at home, during the 4th quarter with the crowd screaming with all it's might, that is what sunk them. They may yet have a tough time with the ECU Pirates this coming week, especially since they have to go on the road.

The sticky feet played well, mind you, and they may make it 2 in a row when they play Duke this weekend.

Side note: Got to see a dumpster fire after the game. This has nothing to do with anything, I just thought you might appreciate it.

Wyoming-10, #16 Utah-22

Wyoming appears to be an improving football team. Utah, meanwhile, is still a boring state.

New Mexico State-0, #17 Ohio State-45

Ohio State made up for accidentally scheduling a tough nonconference game by scheduling this one. While I'm sure the USC game was a total accident of scheduling (they probably thought they were scheduling the University of Southern Connecticut, not California) this one was totally intentional. I'm sick of cupcake games as it is, but to play these games in the middle of the season is absolutely absurd. Play your "tune-up" garbage games at the start of the year, not during the middle of the season.

Oh, well, at least the Buckeyes played a 1-A opponent, unlike their Maize and Blue clad rivals in Michigan, who courageously scheduled Delaware State mid-season...

Southern Mississippi-43, #18 Houston-50

Defense optional football. Houston benefits from being in a relatively weak conference, and they just beat one of the better teams in said conference. Houston should win their conference, and go to a semi-major bowl. Weeeeeee.

#19 Miami-28, Wake Forest-27

Miami narrowly avoids an upset bid by Wake. All this really teaches us is that Miami is not a road team. They lost badly to Virginia Tech on the road, they beat Florida State by a measly 4 on the road, and they beat Wake by 1 on the road. Their only big road win is against Central Florida, and I'm not sure that counts.

Still, good to see that the Canes are high in the conference, rather than allowing Wake to muddle an already screwed up conference. Right now the ACC is basically Georgia Tech and everyone else. Look for that to stay the same right up until Boston College beats them in the championship game, goes to the Orange Bowl, and gets the conference laughed at...

#21 West Virginia-19, South Florida-30

When a South Florida team that spent the last 2 weeks being slaughtered turns around and beats you, it should tell you something about your #21 ranking. Specifically, it tells you that you didn't deserve it.

In a conference littered with weak teams, WVU further set themselves up for a bowl-bound season by getting a pathetic nonconference schedule. WVU is 6-2 thus far, having played no ranked teams. They should win next week against an awful Louisville squad, and then they'll lose 2 straight to the Bearcats and Pitt Panthers. If I'm wrong, so be it, but this is how good West Virginia is without Pat White; specifically, not very.

Kansas State-30, #22 Oklahoma-42

Jeez, OU. You start the season as a title contender, and you wind up barely beating Kansas State by 12 at home. Forgive me for saying, but you guys are firmly mediocre. OU's problems are well documented, and I assume you read this thing for a unique perspective, not more crap that everyone else has written about. So, if you're an Oklahoma fan, go read one of those articles about how Bradford's injury killed OU's season, and how he's going to go pro. Then weep into your pathetic Sooner Schooner-shaped shotglasses. The rest of us are going to go to the next paragraph.

Kansas State, meanwhile, has nothing to do with anything in the Big 12, though they could easily win their half of the conference. Take that for what it's worth...

#22 South Carolina-13, Tennessee-31

Gotta love Tennessee getting black jerseys and going and winning against the Gamecocks. The Vols have, at times, had flashes of brilliance this season, and you have to love their chances of returning to greatness.

South Carolina, meanwhile, is an enigma. Are they overrated? Or are they mediocre? They are certainly not good.

Washington State-14, #23 Notre Dame-40

OK, this game's a joke. One of the worst programs in 1-A plays against Notre Dame. The only thing that interests me about this at all is the game's location. Why, oh why, did they play in San Antonio? The answer: To play in front of Texas recruits. It's still a bogus reason, a team with megazillions of dollars can't fly up recruits? They have to fly the whole team and the band and the cheerleaders down there? What the heck?! How is that cheaper? Or more effective?

As for Washington State...I'd prefer that we not talk about them. They're a poor excuse for a team.

#24 California-23, Arizona State-21

I'll be honest, I didn't watch this game. Not one little bit. Cal won, though. Woo! Go bears! (NOTE: I actually don't care)

#25 Ole Miss-20, Auburn-33

So, Ole Miss, still think you should have been ranked in the Top 10 to start the season? Because no one else on the planet does. In fact, even the single-celled proto-lifeforms on Planet Gorlax, which is 7 million light years away think that Ole Miss was overrated. And they can't even think!

Ole Miss is a mediocre team. They beat bad schools, they don't beat good schools, and they don't win on the road. There's some analysis that will tick off any Rebels who stray over onto this blog.

Auburn continues to surprise me. Their team was awful last year, their coach had an awful team last season, and they're 6-3, with a .500 record in the toughest conference in the country. Please explain this to me, someone. I beg you! And now...

Tales from the Bottom 95

Florida State beat NC State to keep the Wolfpack winless in conference play...Wisconsin killed Purdue, proving that the Boilermakers' upset of the Ohio State Buckeyes was a fluke...Clemson beat Coastal Carolina in a pathetic cupcake game...Michigan's season officially hit rock bottom this week when Illinois killed them...Duke beat UVa and is one win away from bowl eligibility. This is a sign of the end!...The wheels have fallen off for Kansas, they're 1-3 in conference and just lost to Texas Tech...Idaho resumes winning, beating Louisiana Tech by 1. Go Vandals go!...

That's all for this week. See you next time!

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