Saturday in Review 10/17/09

On a day where so many of the Top 25 looked so mediocre (That's you, Florida, Alabama, Texas, Virginia Tech, Ohio State, Miami, Nebraska, Oklahoma State, Kansas, and BYU) I suppose I have a bit to talk about. And blog about. And...Oh, heck, let's just get started.

Arkansas-20, #1 Florida-23

So, Florida fans, still convinced that your team is deserving of a #1 ranking and heaps of adulation? Even after you nearly lose to a 3-2 team in the stadium that you yourselves bill as "the toughest place to win in college football?" (NOTE: If you do still believe that, then you've really drunk the Kool-Aid. Congrats! You're well on your way to firing Urban Meyer when he does something "bad." No, not like rob a liquor store or actually kill a guy. Like lose 2 games in a season. Unforgivable!)

If Arkansas's kicker was able to hit anything (this includes the ground after falling out of a plane, water after falling out of a boat, and baseballs thrown by Brad Lidge this season) (Zing!) then we'd be looking at a 5-1 Florida squad and hearing another speech from St. Timmy of Gainesville. (NOTE: I don't actually hate Tim Tebow. He seems to be an excellent guy...just over-adulated by the media. What else is new?)Instead, Florida escapes, and will certainly stay in the Top 5, and probably will retain the #1 spot...

Since we're here (and really, isn't derision what you're here for?) I want to know how much Florida paid for that personal foul call on their final touchdown drive. It wasn't a bad call, it was an invisible call! Seriously, kids, I still have no idea where the personal foul came from, where it was, or by whom it was committed. The heck of it is: Florida was driving well! They didn't need any help! But that was not the worst part of this game.

No, the worst part of this game was the commentating, specifically Verne Lundquist who might or might not have actually been watching the game. After Arkansas receiver Greg Childs caught the ball around 35 yards downfield and ran for 40 yards, he fumbled on the goal line, then recovered in the back of the end zone. The inept officials wanted to review the play for heaven-knows-what reason, and Lunquist offers this gem of a question: "Maybe it was an incompletion?" I will now let guest blogger Wes from Fayetteville interject his comment: "he ran for 40 YARDS!" So, let's take a straw poll. Who thinks Verne was drunk? Who thinks Verne wasn't paying attention? Who thinks Verne thought we were watching the 1922 Princeton/Swarthmore game and he was wondering why they had made this new-fangled "forward pass" a legal play? No matter how you slice it, it still wasn't nearly as bad as this gem (<-That is a link to the past...) Speaking of 'Bama...

#22 South Carolina- 6, #2 Alabama-20
So the Fighting Chickens of Columbia stuck with the Disgusting Red Algal Blooms of Tuscaloosa. (Handy link in Red!) Alabama's defense looked great, and their offense looked, well, pathetic. Mark Ingram ran for 246 yards and they still only beat the Chickens by 14 at home! During homecoming! (Side Note: Anyone else see the Nick Saban speech to the crowd at the homecoming rally? The man used the royal "we" about himself! Please, Alabama fans, stop the madness. He's a coach, not a king!) (Further side note: Most 'Bama fans would willingly exchange their political freedom for a Crimson Tide title. I wish I was joking about this.)

South Carolina, meanwhile, never got anything going on offense. Heck, their second play from scrimmage was intercepted and run back! They kicked 2 field goals in the second, threw for a fair number of yards and did basically nothing else offensively. One time they got down to the Alabama 5, then ran the same play 3 straight times for 3 straight incompletions! What the heck?! Fail one time: Good defense. Fail 2 times: Bad playcalling. Fail 3 times consecutively? Someone on the SC coaching staff should have lost a finger for that one... Spurrier's defense looked pretty good in holding Alabama to 1 offensive touchdown, but I have a question for Nick Saban:

How on earth does your running back go for 246 yards and you still only score 1 offensive TD?! The man made 2 and a half trips up the field by himself and you scored once with him in the 4th quarter...Something is amiss!

Speaking of amiss...

#20 Oklahoma-13, #3 Texas-16

Oklahoma's season is fast turning into the "what could have been" season. Indeed, Bob Stoops might be the first coach to have two teams under his command in the same season: He has 1 team in the field and one team in the hospital...

Texas again looked underwhelming in a victory, but they are undefeated and they did finally play a ranked opponent. This game was amazingly sloppy, though, with 3 Texas turnovers and 5 turnovers for the Sooners. As every brain dead commentator in the country has doubtless pointed out by now: It is difficult to win when one has 5 turnovers...

Finally, let us not forget that the big news of the day was the injury suffered by Sam Bradford. Sam, who is a seriously goofy looking fellow when he is not wearing his helmet, landed on his shoulder again and left the game again. His team lost again, and will probably drop out of the Top 25 next week, since they have a .500 record. It's hard (<-pronounced "impossible") for me to have a large degree of pity on a national program with millions of dollars of revenue, tons of boosters, and loads of pro talent. But you still have to feel for amateur athletes who are (in theory) not being paid to take these kind of beatings. Here's hoping that Bradford's either a good student or a good healer, because these injuries are seriously hurting his pro potential.

Speaking of hurting...

#4 Virginia Tech-23, #19 Georgia Tech-28

This game really wasn't as close as the score indicates. For the whole second half, Georgia Tech's much maligned defense put the clamps on Virginia Tech's offense, while the option of the Yellow Jackets ran all over the vaunted Hokie defense. Which brings me to a point, albeit not a happy one:

So, let me get this straight: You are defending an option team. You know they are going to run the football. Not only do you know this, but you also have a dynamic defensive line, designed to hit QBs and stop big runs. You then proceed to do the only logical thing and get destroyed on the ground. Georgia Tech completed 1 pass this entire game. Yes, it was for a big gain, but they also threw an interception. The other 5 GT pass attempts fell innocently to the turf in Atlanta. Yet here we are, analyzing a Virginia Tech loss. Look, I know the option is hard to stop, but Miami (the same team Virginia Tech scored 31 on!) successfully shut it down. But, while I'd love to complain, the Hokies have no one to blame for this but themselves--and this is no ordinary loss for a couple of reasons:

1.) This pretty much cuts all ACC teams out of the National Title picture. You can make an argument for Miami or Georgia Tech, but you have a better shot of winning the lottery with the numbers one-one-one-one-one-one-one than you do of seeing either of those squads in the title game

2.) This game really messes up the ACC Coastal Division. (By the way: Coastal? Blacksburg, VA is, like, 300 miles from the beach) Now you have the scenario I asked about a few weeks ago: You have Miami, Virginia Tech, and Georgia Tech. They have all beaten one another, and if they win out it's anyone's guess who wins the Division and goes to the ACC Title Game. I guess Virginia Tech has the best candidacy right now, since they lost by the fewest points...

3.) The worst news (both for the ACC as a whole and especially for Virginia Tech) is that this puts UV-friggin'-a as the leader of the Coastal Division. Yes, that's the same UVa who lost to William and Mary in week one...I think I'm going to go cry now.

Speaking of crying (OK, the gag's no longer funny. I'll stop)

#6 Southern Cal-34, #25 Notre Dame-27

Notre Dame drops another one to Southern Cal as the Charlie Weis (I've been spelling his name wrong for, like, a year and a half now. No one corrected me...) job watch countdown begins. Southern Cal has won on the road against tough teams twice now, and though both games had their fair share of close calls, one must tip their cap to the Trojans. They've played a tougher-than-average non-conference schedule (Not that that's saying much. I'm looking at Texas when I say that) and they deserve to be commended for doing so. That's all the praise Pete Carroll's getting out of me this week! Now go away, you silver-haired jerk! (Side note: You figure with that signature look that Pete knocks all the single 65 year old ladies off their feet? Sure, he's married, but I know Lou Holtz is quite the ladies' man. JoePa is too. When he knows what direction the ladies are...)

As for the Irish, they've done well in games against inferior foes. (Best win: Probably that near-loss at Purdue. More on the Boilermakers later) Against teams with even close to equal talent? Not so much. A friend of mine once pointed out that Charlie Weis's "signature win" is currently a close loss to Southern Cal. I guess this qualifies as another, similar, game. Not sure where the Irish will wind up this year, though it will certainly not be a BCS game. Maybe they can play Hawaii again and people will think that they're "back" again next year. This myth will continue after they beat Navy, Western Carolina, and Northeast Nebraska State Technical College for the One-Armed. Then they'll lose to Ohio State and still only fall to 17th in the polls. Let's all hope I'm wrong. To cheer you up this is an Irish-gold link to Lou Holtz swearing on National TV. You're welcome in advance. Watch that, then let's move on...

#7 Ohio State-18, Purdue-26

The upset of the week, and further proof that the Buckeyes just aren't as good as everyone thinks they are. I've mocked them endlessly, but games like this are what provide the ammo. Purdue hasn't been a relevant team in years, and while road games are tough, even Notre Dame managed a win in Purdue! Ohio State is still one of the best teams in the Big 11, and they can still win the conference title, but they'll have to win at Penn State to do it. Ohio State can really screw things up if they beat Iowa on November 14th. If the Buckeyes pull that off, look for pandemonium to reign supreme in the Big 10 + 1, and for some bizarre loophole to send Northwestern to the Rose Bowl. (Kidding, kidding. It will all-but certainly be Penn State, Iowa, or Ohio State. Which of the 3 is anyone's guess...)

As for Purdue...good job on the win. Now go back to obscurity! We'll call you in a few weeks if Michigan gets ranked again...

#9 Miami-27, Central Florida-7

OK, Miami, we get it. You had a tough start to the season, so you schedule some softies. We get it. Please go back to playing actual teams...

To answer the inevitable question, no, I am not sure if their opponent this next week counts. Clemson ain't what they used to be.

#11 Iowa-20, Wisconsin-10

Iowa came back on the road against a conference foe. That's the good news. The bad news is that they trailed at all to a Wisconsin team whose best win this season is against Minnesota. The Badgers aren't that good.

Still, Iowa is on an ever-shortening list of undefeated teams, and they are creeping upward. If they stay undefeated it will be very difficult to deny them a slot in the Championship Game. If that happens, then we get to put up with 700,000 more stories about Big 10 ineptitude compared to the might of the Big 12 and the PAC-10 and the SEC. (The fact that the Big 10, ACC, Big East, Big 12, and PAC-10 all have the same number of actual championships the last 3 years is never actually mentioned...) Iowa's last rough game is against Ohio State on November 14. Meaning that if they lose this season it will probably be to Northwestern or Minnesota on a last second drive, since that's how college football works...

Colorado State-6, #12 TCU-44

TCU's in a conference with 3 good teams and 6 bad ones. Can you guess in which column Colorado State is located?

Minnesota-0, #14 Penn State-20

Penn State wins at home against a team that is inferior to them. Color me unimpressed. Penn State only has one game of any significance left, and that is their matchup against Ohio State on November 7. Next week's tilt at Michigan could potentially knock them out of the Big 10 title, but beating Ohio State and then praying for the Buckeyes to beat the Hawkeyes (raise your hand if you're still with me) is the only way that Penn State can come away with a title in the conference realistically. Of course, we all know reality has no place in college football. (See Southern Cal's 2003 "National Championship" if you don't believe me...)

Texas Tech-31, #15 Nebraska-10

So, uhhh, Nebraska...where did your defense go? I mean, you know Texas Tech likes to throw the ball (234 pass yards compared to 25 rush yards) so why not try, I dunno, pass defense?

The story of this game, however, was the turnover margin. Nebraska's 2 turnovers killed them, especially since they had more yards than Texas Tech! The fumble run-back for a touchdown hurt, and I'm sure more than a few Nebraska fans could use a hug. I will not be administering hugs, however. Merely sarcasm and contempt.

The good news for the Huskers is that they are still very much in control of their own destiny regarding a BCS bowl, since they are still one of the better teams in their division. For right now, it looks like the Nebraska-Kansas game on the 14th of November will be the deciding factor in the North Division of the Big 12. (No offense, Kansas State.) (No, that second word in parenthesis isn't read oh-FENCE. It's read OFF-ense. K-State can't score, so they're not a threat in the Big 12 North. Yes, this was an unfunny joke and it is a side-effect of typing these over-long posts on this thing. Let's move on...)

Missouri-17, #16 Oklahoma State-33

So, remember when Missouri was undefeated and in position to take charge of the Big 12 North? My, how 2 weeks fly past. Missouri stuck with Oklahoma State (hence them being on the list of "mediocre performance" teams at the start of this post) but they could never overtake the Cowboys.

For OSU, meanwhile, they finally scored a win against a halfway decent team. That it took them most of the game to finally put a squad that threw 3 interceptions and was still somehow in it until the 4th quarter. Missouri outgained Oklahoma State, and really beat itself, rather than falling to the squad in bright orange. And while this is Oklahoma State's best win so far this season, I'm going to venture to say that Halloween will bring them some nasty surprises in Austin. So enjoy next week against Baylor, Cowboys, because it only gets tougher from there...

#17 Kansas-30, Colorado-34

So Colorado jumps out to a 24-3 lead, blows it, and still wins. Gotta love the Big 12 and their defense optional football! Kansas was as one-dimensional of a team as I have ever seen, throwing for 431 yards and rushing for -7 yards...

Colorado, meanwhile, went with a new quarterback and beat a team finally (No offense, Wyoming...). The Buffaloes are now on top of Missouri in the conference standings (yeah, who thought we'd read that this season).

As you can tell, I was half asleep for this one, so analysis here might be a wee bit sketchy. Let's go on...

#18 BYU-38, San Diego State-28

Utah is a boring state. Congrats to BYU on the 500th win, though. Only 374 wins until you catch Michigan!

#23 Houston-44, Tulane-16

Beating Tulane isn't really an accomplishment, so much as a duty. The Green Wave aren't very good, and it's looking like Houston might be back on its feet after the loss to UTEP 2 weeks ago. I really don't have much more to offer you. I mean, it's Houston and Tulane for crying out loud...

#24 Utah-35, UNLV-15

Utah is a boring state.

Tales from the Bottom 95

Michigan beat Delaware State to move to 1-1 all time against 1-AA teams. Congrats to the Hornets who took a dive to Michigan and forfeited a conference game just so they could get paid. Way to represent your school!...Clemson killed Wake Forest, and Riley Skinner is looking less and less like a big time QB and more and more like a Wake Forest QB...California crushed UCLA in the battle of the disappointing PAC-10 teams...Boston College beat NC State to take the lead in the ACC Atlantic Division, like that means anything...Idaho beat Hawaii to move to 3-0 in the WAC...The Vandals, not Boise State, are technically leading the conference. Chew on that fact for a couple minutes...Kentucky beat Auburn, thus proving that any team I praise at all will proceed to falter and sputter for the next few weeks...If that theory is true, then it's a good thing I praised Southern Cal's performance above...Iowa State won their first Big 12 game since 2007...In spite of what I said above, K-State did score 62 this week. Mind you, they did so against Texas A&M. Soooo...Lastly, Western Carolina University snapped its conference losing streak by winning at home. Hooray for the Catamounts!

Hooray that this week's posting is over. See you later with a Rankings Rant!