Saturday in Review 10/24/09 (Rhyme Time!)

'Twas the week before Halloween, when at CFR,
Bones was a' posting on the worst week by far.

There's not much of interest, one tiny upset,
So will I keep rhyming? I answer, "You bet!"

Number one Florida escapes MSU,
How the Gators are "best" I haven't a clue.
With help from the zebras, and SEC might,
prepare for more Tebow; there's no end in sight.

Number two Alabama just nipped the Vols,
with the final two minutes a massive close call,
Mark Ingram got 99 yards on the ground,
but Crimson Tide touchdowns could not be found.

The Tennessee kicker is in a tight spot,
for missing the first one and having 2 blocked.
Before I'm called harsh and he starts to sob,
just remember that kicking is his freakin' job!

Number three Texas beat up on Mizzou,
and turned the poor Tigers to black and to blue.
The game was not close, I'd call it a slaughter,
Don't look for analysis, because I won't bother.

Hawaii got smashed by number four Boise State
Watching the Broncos play football is great
They're fast and they're strong and it's quite a big shame
That they won't get a shot in the Really Big Game.

Number five Cincy is in the Big East,
the BCS Conference that matters the least.
They beat Louisville badly, (not saying a lot)
And they'll beat Syracuse, and that's all I got...

Iowa (Number Six) in a squeaker again
They just nipped the Spartans and top the Big 10
Most of Iowa's wins can be thought of as theft,
They won this game here with no seconds left.

USC won at home against Oregon State,
but despite their ranking they didn't look great
They're at number 7, they'll likely move up,
If next week they can defeat the Oregon Ducks.

TCU beat up on BYU's team,
In a matchup that pitted numbers 8 and 16.
The Horned Frogs can get into the BCS,
The Cougars a much lower bowl I would guess.

LSU defeats Auburn, to stay number nine.
The blame for this loss is totally mine.
The second I said that the Tigers were back,
is the exact same week that they start getting whacked.

Clemson defeated the Miami Canes,
and we won't see those storms in the Top 10 again.
The whole ACC is one giant mess,
who'll be at the top is anyone's guess.

At number 11, the Oregon team,
went to Seattle to make Washington scream.
Since the Ducks won the game (this is just a hunch)
I guess that there was no running back punch

The Georgia Tech Jackets put the Hoos back in place,
putting a smile on this here Hokie fan's face.
UVa's wins were, I'm sure, due to luck,
The simple cold fact is that UVa sucks.

POETIC INTERMISSION

#13 Penn State-35, Michigan-10

Dear Michigan,

In case you haven't noticed: I dislike you. So much so that I am willing to break with the theme of this week's post just so I can mock you in letter form. You were "back" only 3 weeks ago, and now you're sitting in 9th place in a conference with 11 teams. You've lost 3 of your last 4 games, and the lone victory came against the Delaware State Hornets. On the bright side, you play Illinois this coming week. And they are very, very bad. You might continue a theme of defeating the mediocre teams while falling to the even semi-competent ones. Doesn't that sound fun?

Sincerely,
Bones

PS to Penn State: Keep up the good work, but unless Iowa drops 2 games, you're not winning the conference. Hate to tell ya...

INTERMISSION OVER

The OSU Cowboys are number 15,
They shouldn't be up there (you know what I mean?)
This week they crushed Baylor, this might be their peak,
They'll go and get killed by Texas next week.

The SMU Mustangs (once sentenced to death)
and crappy football belong in the same breath.
The Cougars of Houston beat this team that's not great,
making their ranking seem appropriate.

Air Force and Utah went into OT,
and last year's great Utes are a dim memory.
We'll wait for 2 weeks when they play TCU,
to see whether Utah is good or they're poo.

(Random haiku time!)

Minnesota is
bad at football. They did lose
to Ohio State

(Resume traditional poetry)

South Florida was crushed by home-standing Pitt,
Why the Bulls were once ranked I surely don't get.
Pittsburgh, meanwhile, will keep doing well.
Can they beat Cincy? In 3 weeks we'll tell.

'Zona beat UCLA by just 14 points,
And thus do the Bruins still disappoint.
The Wildcats are winning, but beating bad teams
They'll win the PAC-10 only in their dreams.

(Break for seriousness)

UConn-24, #22 West Virginia-27

A quick and somber nod to UConn who played quite well against the Mountaineers considering the circumstances they were playing in. When one considers the fact that they lost a starter to murder, you really have to admire the spirit of the team that went out and played just one week later. Good job Huskies, and good luck throughout the rest of the year.

West Virginia, meanwhile, is one of the few hurdles Cincinnati has left to clear. They have to take their show on the road, however, and their loss is to Auburn at Auburn. I'm not looking for WVU to beat Cincy. In fairness, I've been wrong before...

(Back to poetry. Briefly.)

I'd sure hate to be a Vandy Commodore,
they spend most of their time on the SEC floor.
In this week's performance they chalked up a loss,
getting clipped by the South Carolina Gamecocks.

Oklahoma defeated the Kansas Jayhawks,
this game does not fall into the "upset" box.
Kansas was ranked, but OU was not,
it's a weird situation, but that's all I got.

(Final haiku)

That is all for the
ranked schools. We must go to the
Bottom ninety-five.

(End poetry motif)

First off, allow me to apologize for this entire post...On Thursday, by the way, Carolina blew a massive lead at home to give FSU a conference win...Since roughly half of our total readership (of 4) is Nebraska fans, I guess I need to avoid commenting on that game...Illinois lost again, Ron Zook is very much an endangered species...Duke has 2 straight ACC wins and they almost beat Virginia Tech in their one loss. Beware of the Blue Devils!...Ole Miss won a game! The sky is falling!...Syracuse won, but let's be honest, their wins are against Northwestern, Maine, and Akron...Idaho's run of victories ended when they scored 45 but allowed 70(!) points against New Mexico...Notre Dame beat BC, and is officially the best Catholic 1-A school...Navy defeated Wake without throwing a pass. This should tell us something about the Deacs run defense...

That's all for this week. See you next!