Saturday in Review 10/3/09

Another week, another round of games. This week was disappointingly normal, at least relative to the last few weeks. So let's take a deeply sarcastic look at the old ball games.

#3 Alabama-38, Kentucky-20

'Bama is 35-2-1 against Kentucky all time. While I imagine the numbers in basketball look similar (minus the tie, of course) in favor of Kentucky, it makes one wonder why people think the SEC is a conference that has no compare.

Look, I agree that the SEC is the best conference in the country. With LSU, Florida, Georgia, Alabama, and Auburn they have a high number of very good football teams. Still, the Kentuckys and Vanderbilts of the conference ensure that there are still bad games. Plus, since at least one of the "good" teams has a down year every year (oh, how quickly we forget how bad Florida was in 2003...) it is a bit of an overstatement to claim that the SEC has 5 national championship contenders every year. This year they have Florida and Alabama. LSU might upset Florida in Death Valley this coming Saturday, but mark my words they will not go undefeated and they will not go to a title game, since their loss will either come this week or at Alabama in November.

Oh, well. Time for further analysis of other games, since I didn't watch this one, nor do I care.

#4 LSU-20, #18 UGA-13

6 points in the first 45 minutes, then a touchdown, then 20 points in the final 3 minutes. It was like a brief history of the game of football.

LSU won in a game that they frankly shouldn't have, but the real highlight of this game was the unnecessary celebration penalties handed out to both squads. While I am inclined to agree that celebrations in the NFL are over the top and silly, I disagree with the "put down the ball and look at the ground while you walk not-too-fast-but-not-too-slow back to the sidelines" stance that the NCAA takes with its players. Georgia and LSU's celebration penalties are prime examples. The NCAA's rule states that celebrations shouldn't call attention to the individual, but to the team. OK, I get that, and I get the purpose behind it, but does that mean that all 11 players have to run up to the man who scored the touchdown and give a group hug? Is chest slapping illegal, since one does it to oneself? If so, how come D-linemen and linebackers get to do it whenever they hit a QB? Let the college kids celebrate a little. If they make it to the NFL then they'll get to anyway. Might as well give the less-talented some opportunities as well...

Also, can someone please explain how LSU and Georgia scored so much in the last 3 minutes while slowly going nowhere for the first 57? Since this happens fairly regularly (See the Virginia Tech/Nebraska game from 2 weeks ago) one must wonder why teams don't just stay in the no-huddle 2-minute drill the whole game.

UC Davis-16, #5 Boise State-34

Jeez, man. Boise State, who will probably not make the national title game unless lightning strikes each individual BCS-eligible school twice (in a literal sense), decides to schedule a cupcake instead of an actual opponent. I have a suggestion. Let's pretend that the Cincinnati/Miami (OH) game never happened and that Boise and Cincy faced off. I think we can all agree that would be A) more interesting and B) make it so the Broncos could get into the National Title game without divine intervention.

#6 Virginia Tech-34, Duke-28

How on Earth did Tech beat Miami in just about every facet of the game last week, then narrowly escape Duke this week? Sure, I know the theory that you "play to the level of your competition," but how do you explain Virginia Tech's crushing of Marshall with that theory?

Methinks that the Devils watched some game film and did their homework against Virginia Tech. Otherwise it's a bit difficult to explain the 327 passing yards that Tyrod Taylor had, compared to the small number of rush yards that the Hokies got.. As for Duke, they had one of the most unbalanced offenses ever and they still managed to keep the game very close. Parity, I believe, has created situations that once would have seemed bizarre. Aside from truly and utterly awful football programs (read: Florida International) Division 1-A (or FBS if you're one of the 3 people in the country who actually calls it that) is incredibly close-run. Yes, the Southern Cal's of the world will beat the UAB's of the world more often than not, but upsets are happening with much more regularity thanks to the addition of gimmick offenses and the long-standing tradition of overlooking teams.

As for analysis, it would seem that talk of the Hokies returning to the National Title picture is a bit premature, since Duke came uncomfortably close to winning on Saturday. The Devils, meanwhile, have had a rough go of things this year after some improvement the last 2 years. This good performance may be a sign indicating a return to improvement. Or, it could have been a fluke. We'll see.

#7 USC-30, #24 Cal-3

So does anyone remember when Cal was the 6th ranked team in the country? Yeah, that was a great joke on the part of the AP voters. Seriously, hilarious stuff.

Southern Cal, it would seem, is still atop the PAC-10 for now. They performed well on the road in a performance that really cemented them as the favorites in the conference, and they seem to only have Oregon left as a real obstacle. (No, I don't include Notre Dame on that list. When Charlie Weiss shows up at my house with a crowbar and beats the crap out of me, then I will begin thinking of Notre Dame (and their coach) as a threat)

#8 Oklahoma-20, #17 Miami-21

Miami emerges victorious from its 4th straight matchup against a ranked team, and 3-1 overall during that span (admittedly, the first one was Florida State). The Hurricanes are on a downhill run from here with only one ranked opponent left on the schedule and a 1-AA cupcake game next week. If the right teams win/lose, they're very much in the hunt for an ACC Championship

As for the Sooners, they can still hope for the Big 12 championship, but they are out of the National Title picture (Yeah, who thought that sentence would be typed after 4 games). OU has beaten basically no one (Best win: Tulsa) and they still have some seriously tough games on the schedule (Texas, Kansas, Nebraska, and Oklahoma State are all ranked, and Texas Tech is a threat at home.) The Sooners might soon turn into spoilers instead of contenders, though chaos in the Big 12 is always fun to watch. I'm sure we all remember last year's 3-way tie for the South Division.

#9 Ohio State-33, Indiana-14

The Buckeyes continue to benefit from being one of the few good-to-OK teams in the Big 10 + 1. Indiana isn't very good, and they haven't been for a while, so we can't really chalk this up as a Buckeye victory so much as business as usual for the Hoosiers.

The Buckeyes have put up impressive numbers and still have the potential to go to the Rose Bowl or (if the chips fall right) into the National Title. Indiana has potential to go, frankly, nowhere.

#10 Cincinnati-31, Miami (The bad one. I mean, Ohio)-13

Cincinnati continues it's rise to the top of the Big East. In fairness, that's like rising to the top in a bucket of filth. Sure, you're on top, but look at what else is in the bucket.

It doesn't help that the rest of the Big East is fairly mediocre. I venture to say that the best team in the Big East would struggle against the 4th best team in the SEC. I'd also venture that the Big East will get up to 6 teams (probably more like 5) into the bowls. Finally, I'd venture to say that Boise State could beat all of those teams combined...

SMU-14, #11 TCU-39

TCU continues to move up in rankings and standings. They basically have to crush all their foes for the remainder of the season. SMU, meanwhile, was once a relevant team on the college football landscape. It's remarkable, however, that the death penalty that they received 22 years ago is still crushing the football program in University Park, Texas.

TCU, for their part, is working well to be a BCS buster. They still have tough games against Utah and BYU, but they stand the best chance of representing the Mountain West during this coming Bowl Season.

#12 Houston-41, UTEP-58

Mark my words, it is a good thing that this happened. Why? I will explain in simple terms below:

Logic tells us that an undefeated Houston would make either a BCS bowl (unlikely) or a semi-major bowl. They "proved" themselves against an overrated Oklahoma State squad and a Texas Tech team that is in repair. As a result, they became media darlings and grabbed headlines as a potential BCS buster. Reality came into play this week on the road at UTEP. The same UTEP who, just last week, lost to Texas by 57 points. The relevance, you ask? Well, if lightning had struck just right (and in college football it often does) then you have Houston playing Texas or Virginia Tech or Miami or USC or Penn State in a big-time bowl, losing by 43, then 100 stories about how the BCS busters are irrelevant to an actual college football discussion. Best that this happened now, rather than in January.

Arkansas State-21, #13 Iowa-24

Remember my lampooning of the "play to your competition" theory that I did up above? Yeah, I take that back. Iowa's the only team I can think of that will beat the #5 team in the country by 11 on the road then nearly lose to a Sun Belt opponent at home. Throw in the near-loss to Northern Iowa during week 1, and you have a team that would probably take a pro team to overtime one week, then lose to the Stevie Wonder Institute for the Blind the next. Iowa seems to be a good school, and the Big 11 Championship game may just come down to the Iowa/Ohio State showdown at the Horseshoe in November.

#15 Penn State-35, Illinois-17

You know, sometimes I wonder how Ron Zook does it. He recruited the team that won Florida's national title in 2006-07, he's had some danged awesome talent come through Illinois, and his team has been fairly awful with the exception of 2007's Rose Bowl effort. Zook has to do some serious work in order to keep his job, especially since everyone is aware of his recruiting prowess and his lack of coaching prowess.

Penn State, meanwhile, recovered from their loss to Iowa, but thanks to the lack of a conference championship game, the Nittany Lions will need Iowa and Ohio State to screw up. Look for JoePa to wind up in, like, the Alamo Bowl.

Washington State-6, #16 Oregon-52

Oregon is looking good ever since their loss to Boise to kick off the year. They'll be tested on Halloween when USC comes to town.

As for Washington State, they've been fairly bad these last few years. They're not too good this year either. There, there's your analysis.

Utah State-17, #20 BYU-35

Utah is a boring state.

#21 Mississippi-23, Vanderbilt-7

Mississippi's bounce-back game came at an opportune time, especially when one considers the game they have next week against Alabama. 'Bama is a good football team, and it doesn't look like Ole Miss has much of a chance. Their lone prayer is that the home crowd shuts down Bama's offense, since Mississippi's QB Jevan Snead is the most overhyped player who's won nothing this side of Matt Ryan (yeah, it was unnecessary. Who cares?). Personally, look for Mississippi to play in the Gator Bowl or something similar. They're not going to factor into the BCS.

Vandy is...Vandy. That's the best way I can put it.

#22 Michigan-20, Michigan State-26 (OT)

Dear Michigan,

We all knew this was coming. I told you so during my last 2 letters. You're not a bad football team, you're just not a title contender. Now, take note that you've still not beaten anyone who is legitimately good. You've beaten Notre Dame, who is still overrated, and you've beaten no one else of any consequence whatsoever. Heck, you've only played 2 schools outside the state of Michigan.
I'll continue. Your weasel coach has proved his "worth" by making 2 programs go downhill quickly. Your lust for quick wins led to a schedule that any decent 1-A team could turn into a BCS berth. Sure, you play some tough teams, but I venture to guess that middle-of-the-road Mississippi could have made it this far without going to overtime or losing to Michigan State. I hate to see you go from the Top 25, however, as writing these letters allows me to vent my spleen. It also allows me to use phrases like "vent my spleen," something that people don't get to do enough in this modern college football environment. Oh well, I'll see you again next week since you play Iowa, who happens to be ranked because they actually beat some decent schools.

Sincerely,
Bones

#25 Georgia Tech-42, Mississippi State-31

Apparently Mississippi State has mastered the art of sticking with teams at home. Now all they have to do is A) learn to actually win at home or B) stick with teams at home and on the road. Either way, they'll eventually upset someone, allowing me to vindicate the waste of space and time that these three sentences have become.

Georgia Tech, meanwhile, marks their return to the Top 25 with a victory over an SEC foe. That looks good for the ACC, even if they're only beating Mississippi State. It's better than losing to William and Mary...

Tales from the Bottom 95

So UVa notches their first win. Against UNC. So...what happened to Carolina? They go from "real competitor" to "We lost to who?!" in the span of 2 weeks. I'm curious to hear how Butch Davis can vindicate his salary when he can't even beat UVa. (NOTE: I will never eat those words, even if Carolina can beat Virginia Tech. Know why? Because even if you do beat Tech, you still lost to FRIGGIN' UVA! They lost to William and Mary!)...Louisiana Tech thumped Hawaii Wednesday night. Relevance? Well, does anyone remember when Hawaii was the new Boise State?...Boy, Colorado is bad...Clemson started last year in the Top 10. This season they have lost to Georgia Tech and TCU (not bad losses) and Maryland (apocalyptically bad loss). Maryland has been a punching bag this year. What changed? My theory: Ralph Friedgen promised to eat a player for every loss this season. They didn't believe him at first, but has anyone seen the backup kicker for Maryland recently? Didn't think so...Only 19 of the Top 25 played this week, and yet I still post on Wednesday. Sad, eh?...Auburn beat Tennessee in an ugly game, but it looks like the Tigers' offense is infinitely better than last year's version...