Weeks 1 & 2: Ramblings

Aaaaaahhhh. Good to be back. Perhaps you're wondering: "Bones, where did your trademark psychotic rambling go? I need it to put people to sleep so I can steal their things."

To that I respond: Fear not, dear reader! I have returned to rambling. There was a slight delay caused by the return of this "school" place where I work, so we'll just breeze over the first week's games and couple some observations from week 2 in there as well. Follow me? Good!

*The ugliest story in college football this year, and possibly ever, is the Penn State case. The only thing that remains to be said about that is that I feel sorry for these players. Staff and others associated with the team have to live with themselves and what they knew and didn't tell, but the players who stayed in Happy Valley didn't have a part in Sandusky's crimes. They (and pretty much no one else up there) deserve better than an 0-2 start.

*Savannah State's schedule maker is a sadist. That is all, move along.

*Memo to Missouri players: Criticize your opponents after you play them. No "old man football" labels if you can't beat Georgia.

*So...Arkansas? A Sun Belt team? Hey, better schedule someone from the Southern Conference next year, since 1-A opponents appear to be a bit much to handle.

*South Carolina edges Vandy (with a questionable call) then beats ECU like a drum...gonna be an interesting year in Columbia.

*Southern Cal crushed Hawaii then looked unimpressive against Syracuse. ESPN has treated the coming USC/Stanford game as the big test on USC's schedule. Technically it is, since they don't play another non-sucky team until late October. Still isn't much of a test, since Stanford is a shell of itself. Exhibit A: a 3 point defeat of San Jose State. No, the Duke game doesn't count.

*Oregon still scores lots of points, but their schedule is more of a joke than USC's. And that is depressing.

*Florida State is touted as the ACC's best shot at a title contender. I'll buy that more once they play a team that is part of the FBS (Division 1-A). Right now all FSU is proving is that they're better than 1-AA teams. Hooray.

*Oregon State upsets Wisconsin, UCLA knocks off Nebraska, Alabama kills Michigan, Arizona State blows out Illinois, Penn State's 0-2. Yup. The Big 10 is back!

*Speaking of Alabama: Nick Saban. Still the devil.

*Yay! Virginia Tech beat its 1-AA foe after playing a 1-A team on Monday. A departure from last time!

*Seriously, what sense does it make to play a divisional game in week one? Condolences to Georgia Tech, who basically have a 2 game hole to make up to start the season.

*Arizona upset Oklahoma State after OSU thrashed Savannah State. Further proof of the joys of actually having a defense.

*Is it vindictive of me to hope Mike Leach fails at Washington State? Yeah, probably, but I'm still gonna hope that. Wazzu should actually win their next 2 games, then get put back into their place by Oregon. And it will be lovely.

*Kansas State killed Miami (FL). Somewhere, dozens of South Florida Internet Trolls went into hibernation until next August, when they'll type again that "Da U" is back. Just like they have for the past 6 years.

*Notre Dame beats Navy and Purdue. Wake me when that matters.

*Sleeper pick for the year: Louisville. Calling it right now (aaaaand they're gonna lose to Carolina because I said that)

*Whole host of other things, but we're nearing the 600 word mark in a disorganized post. Let's all bask in the first glorious weeks of football, especially since we have a pretty good looking week coming up!

Saturday in Review 11/12/11

I have a totally legitimate reason for this week's shorter-than-average post.

*LSU and 'Bama looked fairly dopey in the first half of their games. No offense to the literally hundreds of articles on the Internet that claim they were "recovering" from their matchup last week, but if that were the case they'd have struggled the whole game. It doesn't make any sense to say that it required six days plus thirty minutes of football to recover. No, this was just a case of teams slacking off against largely inferior foes. Both squads pulled away in the second half, after all.

*Oregon State's offense, which appears to be led by Methuselah, keeps right on clicking. I don't want to take away anything from this team, I really don't, but does anyone else figure that they might have an advantage, what with a quarterback that's at least five years older than everyone else on the field? I'm not talking about his NFL prospects (I couldn't care less about those) but I'm just saying that having an older QB does confer an advantage. The only other example I can think of off the top of my head is Chris Weinke, but I'm sure there's others. Feel free to help me out (or call me an idiot) in the comments section.

*Oregon takes down Stanford again, and the Best Quarterback Evar didn't look so hot in the process. Still got him pegged as the Heisman winner, provided he doesn't lay another egg. Oregon has inexplicably reentered the talk of the national title game. But if I don't want a 'Bama/LSU rematch (and I don't), then I sure as heck don't want a rematch of a much less entertaining LSU/Oregon game from earlier in the season. (Yes, I assume LSU will go undefeated. Secretly I hope that's wrong, too.) Changes to teams be danged, every squad only gets a maximum of 14 games a year, and we don't need out-of-conference rematches in a sport with 120 teams and a 70 team postseason!

*If you haven't heard, another Boise State kicker missed another field goal and sent the team out of the BCS for the second straight year. Here's the thing: mock the kicker if you must, but putting a game as team-oriented as football in the hands of a single player is an indictment of the whole team, not just the kicker. The kicker didn't allow 36 points at home. Also TCU isn't bad, so Boise can cling to the fact that they only lose to good teams...

*Elsewhere in the non-AQ category, Houston steamrolled another hapless conference foe. I'm seriously going to be a Southern Miss fan if Houston and Southern Miss meet in the Conference USA championship game. Because, frankly, I believe that if Houston runs the table and goes to the BCS, we're gonna see a repeat of Hawaii/Georgia.

*Virginia Tech is a game away from taking a trip to the ACC Championship game for a (sigh) rematch with Clemson. Beating UNC this week is critical for the Hokies, but they also have to take down rival Virginia to earn a trip to Charlotte. At least one side of the ACC is up for grabs, what with Clemson clinching this week in a surprisingly close win over Wake Forest. Congrats to the Tigers.

*Texas A&M played Kansas State close in yet another example of K-State playing well above its ability. Oh, it was also an example of why college overtime is simultaneously awesome and idiotic: Yes, 4 OTs is a very cool, edge-of-your-seat thing to see. It's also why both teams scored nearly half their points in overtime: because the field is too dang short.

*Auburn will hopefully go back to being unranked. A 45-7 drubbing by Georgia might actually convince voters that the Tigers aren't the same team as last year's title winners. Well, for a week at least...

*Missouri sent Texas crashing back to Earth. It'll be interesting to see how the Longhorns do against Kansas State this weekend. One thing's for certain: Mack Brown can get away with a performance like this for maybe one more season. Texas is probably the richest football recruiting ground in the country, the school has its own network, and they're tied for fourth in their 10 team conference. Not good.

*West Virginia defeats Cincinnati to plunge the Big East further into the mire. The Big East is falling apart off the field, and it's sort of funny that it seems no one wants to win what could be the last Big East football championship.

*Baylor needed overtime to beat Kansas? Now that's the Baylor I know and love...OK, the Baylor I know and ignore...

And now Tales from the Bottom 95

Toledo and Western Michigan played a game that ended 66-63. Last time their basketball programs played, the final score was 73-60...Louisville's coach blamed his team's loss to Pitt on Call of Duty. You can't make this stuff up...Vandy smashed Kentucky. That's bad news for the Tennessee Volunteers, who have to figure out a way to beat Vandy and Kentucky to make a bowl...Eastern Michigan is nearly bowl eligible, just two seasons removed from an 0-12 campaign. Good work, Eagles!...UVa broke their losing streak to Duke...The bottom half of the Pac-12 is simply awful...The once proud Florida State/Miami rivalry devolved into a poorly played festival of turnovers on Saturday...Rutgers took down Army in the battle of the knights...Hawaii fell to Nevada.

That's all for this week! See you next time!

Saturday in Review 10/29/11

A good weekend of football to be certain! Fair warning: anyone caught using many days late Halloween puns in the comments section will be shot.

Baylor-24, #3 Oklahoma State-59

I've said it before and I'll say it again: jump on the Oklahoma State bandwagon at your own peril. I am legitimately curious to see how well this team will perform when it runs up against a good defense. The Big 12 really seems to be the conference of the glass cannon; every team in the league seems to be capable of posting huge numbers of points while allowing equally huge numbers of points. Oklahoma State has allowed at least 24 points in all but one of its games.

Yes, most of those opposing teams' points came late, but Oklahoma State has yet to play the best defensive team in their conference: the rival Oklahoma Sooners, and defense still trumps offense. Assuming that the Cowboys get through their remaining schedule and the Sooners, it's highly likely they'd have to play LSU or Alabama in the national title game. Regular readers note that I always pick defense over offense, especially in bowls. Therefore, if it comes down to Oklahoma State vs. SEC champ, I'm taking the SEC team all the way. (Especially if it's Alabama and their under-a-touchdown-allowed-per-game scoring defense.)

And Baylor...well, at least they're not getting laughed at anymore. Sure, they're an even more extreme example of imbalance than the Oklahoma State team cited above (Baylor's stats: 9th best scoring offense in the country, 115th scoring defense), but at least the Bears aren't the Big 12's doormat anymore! That's Kansas's job...

#5 Clemson-17, Georgia Tech-31

Virtually every fanbase whose team has not lived up to past glory has a set of fans who choose to live in the past. Miami fans still think it's the '80s, Notre Dame fans still think it's the '70s, Virginia Tech fans are starting to become entrenched in 1999, and Clemson fans are locked in their nuclear fallout shelters with "Vote for Reagan" slogans and anti-Soviet propaganda decorating the walls around their "Tigers: 1981 National Champs" poster. This season seemed like it could be the year that Clemson fans got to update their calendars, but alas, it was not to be.

Clemson struggled to defend the option, which is sort of mind-blowing when you consider how well Miami and UVa did just that in the previous two weeks. The Georgia Tech defense played well, and Clemson just couldn't get anything going it seemed. Near-comebacks were cut short by defensive stands and turnovers, and the ACC faded out of the national championship race once again. Don't get me wrong, this wasn't totally unexpected. Once Clemson hammered beat Virginia Tech, this was supposed to be the matchup to decide which ACC school got to compete for a title. Then Georgia Tech stumbled along the way, meaning that they could do little but spoil Clemson's national title hopes. Which they did.

Ah well, that's ACC football. Let's just sit back and enjoy it, take some time to watch more madness unfold as one team (likely still Clemson) plays its way to a BCS bowl and the other 11 sort of squabble for the other bowl slots the conference gets. Those of us who love football will shake our heads and stare. My friends who are Carolina fans are already counting the days to basketball season. What fun.

#6 Stanford-56, USC-48 (3OT)

Alright, before we go any further, I want you to read this previous post. Go ahead, I'll wait.

There. Now I don't have to go on a rant against overtime. I do have to gripe, however, about Southern California's presence in the non-essential AP rankings. Why were the Trojans ranked 20th? They have beaten precisely one decent nonconference foe, and precisely zero decent conference foes. Look at the record: a 2 point win against the worst team in the Big 10, a drubbing of a mediocre team in the worst AQ conference, and 3 in-conference wins against teams which are all 1-4 or 1-5 in the Pac-12. Aside from a good win on the road against Notre Dame, the Trojans did absolutely nothing of note until this Saturday, when they took Heisman winner (it's OK, just accept it) Andrew Luck and the Cardinal into OT. Now that I've made my case that Southern Cal isn't very good (and they aren't), let's extrapolate:

Stanford could be in real trouble here. They will likely smash Oregon State this weekend, but their game against Oregon looms large as the deciding factor in which team will go to the Pac-12 championship. Right now, it's tough to see the Cardinal winning that one. But no worries, Luck has ESPN on his side and a catchy last name, so unless Stanford loses 2 of its remaining 4 games, he'll still going to win the Heisman.

Side note: Mad props to Lane Kiffin for criticizing the officiating in Saturday's game. I detest Southern Cal, but I detest bad officiating more, especially since it is the root cause of my Southern Cal hatred. Oh, and they fined Kiffin $10,000 for being a critic, which is wrong but also kinda funny. I assume Tennessee and/or the Ghost of Al Davis was involved.

Washington State-28, #7 Oregon-43

Sweet, an easy one. Oregon crushed th--Oh what the heck?! How was this game this close? Maybe that Oregon/Stanford game will be good after all.

#9 Oklahoma-58, #8 Kansas State-17

Kansas State, meet reality. Reality, Kansas State. OK, good that you've been introduced, that will really help save time.

OU should do pretty well with its remaining schedule up until the big game with Oklahoma State. Kansas State has a chance to play spoiler against OSU, but the Wildcats had been playing beyond their ability all season long. We may be in for a Wisconsin-style slide from this team.

#10 Arkansas-31, Vandy-28

Arkansas really shouldn't have won this game. They shouldn't have been in it, and without a freak 94 yard fumble return for a touchdown, this game would have ended up being something like 35-24 Vandy. As it stands, Arkansas is looking much more mediocre than they should be, but if Sports Illustrated is to be believed, then the whole SEC is mediocre aside from #1 and #2. I don't think it's as bad as the article makes it sound, but games like these certainly make the case that the top of the SEC isn't quite as dominant as it has been in recent years.

#11 Michigan State-3, #14 Nebraska-24

MSU came out and did...well, nothing. This was a hideous offensive performance and it can be credited as much to incompetence as to Nebraska's defense. Don't get me wrong, the Huskers ran well and the Spartans had trouble against the Blackshirts, but if it was only Nebraska's defense slowing MSU down then the score would have been closer. It seems that Michigan State is in very real danger of repeating last season's theme: spoiling things for schools in their conference, but stumbling into a tie with the conference leaders. Look for MSU to make another glorious trip to the Champs Sports Bowl or something similar.

Nebraska's still in the hunt for the division title of what I will call the "West" division of the Big 10, and it looks like their November 19 game with Michigan will determine the winner of that branch of the Big However Many We Have. Provided, of course, that Michigan doesn't pull their now-annual yearly fall-apart routine.

#12 Virginia Tech-14, Duke-10

I really hope this is Tech underestimating Duke. Because, frankly, about 115 of the D1 teams out there would have beaten Tech the way they played this weekend. But many smashed soda cans and a few curse words later on my end, the Hokies emerged with a narrow win over one of the worst teams in the ACC. They'd best get their stuff together in the next week, or the Thursday game against Georgia Tech will be an uglier version of the GT/Clemson score above.

Also: Duke is going to have real trouble making a bowl, but they're not out of it yet.

#13 South Carolina-14, Tennessee-3

The Vols defense is just about where it needs to be. They have to start playing solid D for 4 quarters, but the defense is there. The offense? Not so much. Even with Tyler Bray at the helm, the Vols were racking up points against largely inferior competition. They always seem to have a front-loaded schedule, though, which is a product of the bygone era when Tennessee was a national power. Things will get easier for everyone's favorite band of Knoxvillians, provided that they survive to late November.

South Carolina's in trouble, though. They're clinging to a high ranking for another week, but the game against Arkansas will be a real test of whether or not they can beat a good opponent without Marcus Lattimore. We shall see...

#15 Wisconsin-29, Ohio State-33

If I were Wisconsin's coach, my secondary would be running up and down stairways reciting the play-by-play calls of the two Hail Marys that have beaten the Badgers in back to back weeks. There's no excuse to get burned twice in a row like that, especially in scenarios when you know the opponent's throwing deep! Yes, it was 2 fluke plays in a row, but those 2 plays have turned Wisconsin from undefeated title contender to barely ranked also-ran.

Also, congrats to Ohio State on winning a big game. Now, go back to obscurity. We'll call you if we need you to upset Michigan or something.

Missouri-38, #16 Texas A&M-31

Analogy time! 2nd half : Texas A&M lead :: crowbar : kneecap

I don't think this requires any further explanation.

Rice-34, #17 Houston-73

Congrats to Houston's Case Keenum for taking the all-time TD record. Good job! Also, your strength of schedule is pathetic and your team will get destroyed the second it encounters a semi-competent defense. OK, bye!

Purdue-14, #18 Michigan-36

Purdue exists to defeat one ranked foe per year. This year it was Illinois, so Michigan got a free pass here. I'm curious to see if Michigan can beat Iowa this weekend, or if their 3-1 conference record is a result of playing 3 of the worst 4 teams in the Big 10 and one decent one. My bet is...well, you already know what my bet is.

Illinois-7, #19 Penn State-10

This wasn't so much good defense as "our offenses don't work really well in a snowstorm." The result is a game with literally 3 highlights: 2 TDs and a field goal. I'm all for low-scoring games, but not when they're incompetently played. Penn State is currently ranked much higher than they should be. However, JoePa did get the D-1 record for coaching wins, thereby surpassing Methuselah for that coveted title.

Iowa State-41, #20 Texas Tech-7

Texas Tech served its purpose last week. The team's entire season led up to that splendid victory in Norman, which has been followed by this debacle. Iowa State hammered Tech from beginning to end, and I can't put a silver lining on it because there isn't one. This isn't so much a "hangover" game as it is a "we're still drunk on victory, so much so we might have to go to the emergency room" game.

Colorado-14, #21 Arizona State-48

Very few things are consistent in this crazy world. But you can set your watch by Colorado football, ever since the 2006 season. I kinda wonder, now that conference expansion/realignment is well and proper nuts, if the Pac-12 regrets adding Colorado. Not Utah, yet. The Utes were in a non-major conference and they're in the process of building up a team. Colorado, meanwhile, has been in a major conference since at least 1982 and they're not competitive. The Pac-12 probably wishes they'd held out for a more Pacific-area team, like West Virginia or Miami...

Arizona State? Eh, it's so hard to tell about teams in the lowest 5 slots of the top 25. The Sun Devils' loss to Illinois looks worse by the week, but the only other team to beat them was a home-standing Oregon squad. Because ASU plays some seriously bad competition in their final 3 weeks, it looks as though the Pac-12's championship game will be our next opportunity to see how good/bad the Sun Devils are.

#22 Georgia-24, Florida-20

So, does Florida's climb to #12 in the rankings playing the likes of UAB seem silly to anyone else now after they went 0 for October? I thought so!

Georgia, meanwhile, has pretty much saved their coach's job. Richt seems like a nice enough fellow, but he'd best start competing for SEC Championships if he wants to keep his job for a long time. That may not be a fair expectation of anyone, but it's the way things are in Athens.

Ole Miss-23, #23 Auburn-41

Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt is going to be fired. He needs to start doing outlandish things to entertain us before his coaching career in Oxford ends. Kick punts on 2nd down! Fire live ammunition skyward to signal playcalls! Run over the opposing coach with a car on the field. That's what I'm talking about.

Auburn, meanwhile, is still riding high (OK, not high, but they're still ranked) based on the strength of their national championship last year. The Tigers really aren't the 23rd best team in the country, the computers just have a machine crush on them.

Kansas-0, #24 Texas-43

Kansas is awful. Texas still isn't that great and their personal propaganda network has benefited them about as much as Notre Dame's private deal with NBC has helped the Fighting Irish. That is all.

#25 West Virginia-41, Rutgers-31

Sadly, the return of Eric LeGrand didn't lift Rutgers to the victory they wanted over West Virginia, but for me (and many others) seeing LeGrand on the field again was the highlight of this game. Keep getting better, young man.

And now Tales from the Bottom 95

NC State has been really bad in the ACC this year...Syracuse smashed the Big East's lone ranked team last week and then went out and lost to Louisville...UNC dashed Wake Forest upon the rocks of reality...Again...Mississippi State beat Kentucky in a battle of unranked SEC teams. Hooray?...Notre Dame beat the snot out of Navy, so I guess one aspect of college football's back to normal...and poor Ol' Hawaii had to travel to Idaho. Yeah, think about that the next time you complain about going anywhere.

That's all for this week! See you next time!

Saturday in Review 10/8/11

Just some notes of note (hardy har har...)

*The Virginia Tech/Miami game was really, really good. But don't take my word for it! Check out Lane Stadium before the final play. That, ladies and gents, is why I love college football, and the Hokies in particular. Good game by Miami, and a good win for Tech. High fives all around.

*Boise doesn't get the hype this season that they did last season, but they've steamrolled basically everyone except Georgia. Problem is that won't impress voters enough come bowl season without something seriously weird happening.

*Speaking of seriously weird, Wake Forest? 3-0 in conference play?! That's really great for the Deacs, but probably bad for the conference. My logic on that? Well, the year Wake won the ACC featured the single lowest-rated BCS bowl in history. So, yeah...

*Alabama and LSU have been rolling. Let's just see if that continues. If it does, we're in for a treat November 5.

*Oklahoma State and Houston, to me, seem to be kindred spirits. Namely, these are teams that put up flat-out gaudy numbers on offense, but they have little in the way of defense. Sure, OSU allows most of its points late, but they're gonna eventually run into a game where the whole team has to play 4 full quarters. They beat Texas A&M by a point, and I think it's safe to say that OSU will run into a better opponent than the Aggies somewhere along the line, specifically on December 3 when they play their rivals. Houston, meanwhile, should rip their way through their conference, gather some buzz, then play a decent team in a bowl game and get thrashed. Just like 2 years ago...

*Clemson keeps rolling along in the ACC. It's hard to see a significant obstacle between them and their October 29 showdown with Georgia Tech. Heck, that could easily be part 1 of a 2 part battle for the ACC. Clemson's other major obstacle this season is an out-of-conference game against South Carolina to end the season.

*Nebraska's comeback to beat Ohio State was quite good. Just sayin'.

*South Carolina found a suitable replacement for Stephen Garcia. At least, they think they did. They were playing Kentucky, so it's hard to tell. Either way, Garcia is off the team. Adjust your "player most likely to get arrested" fantasy roster accordingly!

*Texas A&M narrowly avoided a 3rd straight 2nd half collapse. Congrats?

Tales from the Bottom 95

*Western Kentucky and MTSU fought out a great battle on Thursday night. Just erase the names and you could make a case that it was game of the year!

*Carolina put away Louisville in a jaw-droppingly boring game.

*Minnesota...very bad at football right now.

*Georgia's recovering well from their slow start. Tennessee still looks mired in mediocrity.

That's all for this week! Hooray!

Extra-late Saturday in Review 10/1/11

The last week around the Bones household has been spent fighting a cold, fighting students, fighting an opposing tennis team, and fighting insanity. At least I'm putting up a fight, unlike a certain maroon and orange wearing team I cheer for...Let's run through the games speedily.

*No comments about the Clemson/Virginia Tech game. I called this thing 2 weeks ago (last week was my bye week for the season), and anyone who pays any attention to football shouldn't have been surprised. Tech's offense is a tire fire: they wouldn't have even scored their measly three points in the 2nd quarter if it weren't for an interception in Clemson's territory. Another year of frustration, and it's about time to ask a horrible question: Will Frank Beamer be the best coach to never win a national title? Right now the answer's a resounding "Probably."

*Serious hat tip to Clemson, the Tigers look like they might break out of their cycle of mediocrity this season. Heck, Clemson fans might even come to terms with the fact that it's no longer 1981 if the team keeps winning! Then they can stay stuck in 2011 for 30 years until the next non-mediocre Clemson team drunkenly stumbles along.

*Why no, I'm not bitter at all.

*Last Thursday, Pitt beat the snot out of South Florida. Looks like the Big East will be West Virginia's conference after all.

*Speaking of the West Virginia Generic Hill People Mascots, West Virginia's really starting to look like a paper tiger. Their big wins have come over vastly inferior teams, they had to clip a mediocre Maryland squad (that then suffered a 38-7 loss to Temple), and they got absolutely hosed (at home) by LSU. So West Virginia is likely on their way to the BCS, but who knows what'll happen once they get there.

*Bama defeated Florida, this time on the Gators' turf. Methinks the Swamp has lost some of its luster in recent years. Also, the Bama victory means that they win the annual "Who will Verne Lundquist inexplicably hype up every freakin' week on CBS" contest! As a result, SEC games not featuring Alabama will still feature at least 1 reference declaring how much better Alabama is than the two teams playing on the field. Gotta love those commentators! Games Alabama loses will be erased from Verne's memory with one of the Men in Black's neuralizers.

*Boise claims vengeance for their loss to Nevada last year...I guess that's news?

*Wisconsin/Nebraska looked good...then the 2nd quarter happened. The Huskers got run over, and Wisconsin has emerged as a potential contender for a national title.

*Auburn upset South Carolina. Stephen Garcia had his 4th straight game with more INTs than TDs. Hard to win like that, even with Spurrier at the helm.

*Texas A&M can't hold onto a lead. That's not really news to anyone who watches college football, but it is worthy of note. A&M hasn't beaten an SEC team since 1995, and they're joining that conference next season. I know things will improve once the Aggies start to play teams lower down the conference ladder, but you still have to think there's some worry in College Station.

*SMU beat TCU at TCU. The Horned Frogs are really far removed from last year's Rose Bowl squad

*Illinois? Still perfect? Heck, beats me, too!

And now, Tales from the Bottom 95

*Penn State just did clip Indiana. I'd say this could be Paterno's last year, but there are sportswriters who wrote that early in their careers who have since died. Paterno's outlived many critics, so I'm not writing anything about his job security. Because I'll almost certainly be wrong.

*Temple followed its beatdown of Maryland with a loss to...Toledo? Heck, I don't know if that's good or bad: Toledo's looked halfway decent this year.

*Wofford beat App State. Just thought I'd put that here for the Boone goons who still think it's 2007.

*In the interest of fairness: A box of kittens could defeat Western Carolina University. This week, however, Furman did the honors, letting the kittens stay home.

*Western Michigan beat UConn. Looooong fall from the top of the Big East thus far for the Huskies.

*Ohio State is feeling the effects of the scandal in full now. Michigan State isn't a slouch team, but losing in the Horseshoe is rough for Ohio State.

*Hawaii had to go to Louisiana Tech this weekend. All apologies to the Warriors.

That's all for this week. Hopefully the next one won't take so long for me to write!

(It will.)

Saturday in Review 9/17/11

It was the first chilly Saturday of the year. It was also the first Saturday with a large number of interesting games. Coincidence? Yeah, probably...

#1 Oklahoma-23, #5 Florida State-13

Allow me to preface this by saying that the ACC had a really good day. Stunningly good, especially compared to the conference's early performances in previous seasons.

That said, the ACC still won't get any national love until they beat a #1 (or at least Top 5) team. Since Virginia Tech has been criminally incapable of doing so, the conference had to pin its hopes on someone else, and Florida State put up a good fight. The game was hard-hitting, defense-oriented football, with the added plot twist of FSU losing their star quarterback E.J. Manuel. At the point Manuel went out, I figured the game was over. Instead, the Seminoles' backup Clint Trickett tossed FSU's lone touchdown of the game and made things interesting for a while. But Oklahoma somehow managed to win a road game, which is only surprising because they seem to play about 1 per year. As a result, the ACC remains a conference that hasn't had a big win in a long time. Look, this was the big game this week, there's not much to add to the dang conversation...

North Texas-0, #2 Alabama-41

I want to write something harsh here about Alabama's nonconference schedule, but they at least had the decency to play Penn State (a semi-good team) last week. We don't know too much about 'Bama yet, but they'll be playing Arkansas and Florida these next two weeks, which should give us an idea of just how good the Tide are. Or should that be Tide is? Heck, I don't know.

What I do know is this: North Texas is still not very good. Big shock there.

#3 LSU-19, #25 Mississippi State-6

It was good to see that some SEC teams still play defense. After watching South Carolina, Georgia, and Auburn demonstrate defensive ineptitude on a grand scale these first few weeks. Mississippi State and LSU put on an excellent defensive show on Thursday night. A few folks might murmur that this was boring, but these people are probably Southern Cal fans, and their opinions won't count again until next year. LSU has looked good, and they should be able to hammer through West Virginia, provided that the couch burners don't pelt the Tigers with flaming upholstery.

#4 Boise State-40, Toledo-15

Boise beats Toledo. Nothing to see here, move along.

#6 Stanford-37, Arizona-10

Stanford has been starting slow this season. The good news for Luck and crew is that they can start as slow as they like for about a month and a half until they play Southern Cal at the Coliseum. They'd best quicken up, though, if they hope to beat the Trojans and the Ducks to take the Pac-12 and get a shot at the national title.

Tangent time! What I want to know is this: Who the heck drew up the Pac-12's divisions?! How did Stanford and Oregon wind up together? For that matter, how did Cal get stuck in that division, too? Meanwhile, perennial conference favorite Southern Cal is in a division with a group of teams that haven't been good in at least 2 years. This is a political move, dang it, to ensure that the Trojans are perpetually in the championship game every year. And I might be the last person in the college football world to have figured this out, but that doesn't make me any less angry about it...

#7 Oklahoma State-59, Tulsa-33

The only truly remarkable part about this game was the amount of time it took before the thing started. The game ended at 3:35am, albeit with the same results it would have had if it'd ended at 3:35pm. Well, maybe fewer fans killed by lightning thanks to the late start. But that's about it.

Good news for football fans, though, we might see one of the last great Big 12 matchups this weekend when OSU plays Texas A&M. Well, that or we'll see a 65-63 game that ESPN will call a "shootout" while I mutter crazily about defenses in next week's post.

#8 Wisconsin-49, Northern Illinois-7

Northern Illinois is better than most non-AQ teams (Well, they were good last season. Every year's a crap shoot with these mid-level teams). It was nice of Wisconsin to play the Huskies at a neutral site, especially considering that the #7 team in the nation boldly plays 4 games away from home this season. Their first true road game is October freakin' twenty-ninth! Please, someone, explain how this is legal! I don't deny that good schools should play their cupcake games at home, but how is it possible for a team to have 7 home games, a neutral site game, and 4 road games?

As it stands, Wisconsin looks to face 2 possible road tests: Ohio State and Illinois. A team devastated by scandal and a team coached by Ron Zook. Have fun in the BCS, Badgers! Better hope you don't play Boise, there, Badgers. You don't do real well against good nonconference teams...

Idaho-7, #9 Texas A&M-37

Speaking of Texas A&M...this game looked like it coul--eh, who am I kidding? We all got what we expected in this one.

Washington-38, #10 Nebraska-51

I've had my fill of Nebraska/Washington games. The Huskers took the rubber match of their three game series, which is something that should only ever be written about baseball. A quick memo to the bowl committees: I do not care what these two teams' records are come December: do not let them play each other again. There's 120 1A teams in college football, no reason 2 of the three should play one another three times in a year outside of conference play...

Navy-21, #11 South Carolina-24

South Carolina has risen to be a top team thanks to a very strong rushing attack led by Marcus Lattimore. That's the good news for the Gamecocks. The bad news is that their defense is in 100th place in terms of scoring defense. South Carolina had best find itself a defense quickly with their SEC schedule starting this week, because there will always be at least one game in that conference wherein a team's defense has to carry an offense that hits a brick wall. Right now, South Carolina's defense couldn't hope to do that. The good news is that SC should have some time to straighten things out; even though they're in the mighty SEC, they don't play a currently ranked team until November 5th. Beware of Vandy, though (and I say that only half sarcastically, because the 'Dores are 3-0...)

Arkansas State-7, #12 Virginia Tech-26

What I have learned from Virginia Tech football thus far this season:

1) The defense appears to be back, healthy, and ready to play.

2) Logan Thomas will someday be a good quarterback.

3) Today is not "someday"

4) As it stands, Logan Thomas is a mediocre quarterback who will need the Hokie defense to be playing its best in every single game this season. If the defense has a down game, even against a lesser foe, Tech will lose.

What I anticipate happening:

1) Tech will lose its game against Clemson on October 1

2) Somewhere along the line, Tech will also lose a game to an opponent they should beat (Think Duke, Boston College, or Wake Forest)

3) I will stop writing in numbered lists that make me look like a smug and pretentious feminine hygiene product.

Troy-28, #13 Arkansas-38

Troy never gave up in this game. They also fell behind 24-0 at one point and scored their last touchdown with 28 seconds to go, making this game look a heck of a lot closer than it actually was. To quote Public Enemy, "Don't believe the hype."

Missouri State-7, #14 Oregon-56

Missouri State's scheduler should be injured by what's left of the team. They've had to play 2 ranked schools in three weeks! And not, like, #23 and #25. We're talking 2 schools that were in the BCS last season! Who the heck made that decision. (I know, I know, paycheck. Spare me the comments.) (Pfft, like you're reading the review of the Oregon/Missouri State game...)

#15 Michigan State-13, Notre Dame-31

Is this the Notre Dame we were promised before the season?! A Notre Dame that is the 18th best team in the nation? Or is it just that Michigan State probably isn't as good as their ranking indicated? Yeah, I'm banking on #2, too.

#16 Ohio State-6, Miami-24

You know, the ACC had a good weekend. Just thought I'd reiterate that. Both of these teams had rough offseasons, and it was really only a matter of time before reality caught up with Ohio State. The Buckeyes, like too many other teams, play only one semi-difficult nonconference game per year (occasionally less than that). So after a way-too-close matchup with Toledo, the Buckeyes rolled into Miami and got beaten by a team that lost to Maryland 2 weeks prior. It'll be interesting to see where these two schools go from here, but I think that, by virtue of playing in a weaker conference, Miami will come out of 2011 looking a heck of a lot better than Ohio State.

Tennessee-23, #17 Florida-33

Give Tennessee credit, they hung in a game with their hated southern rivals. But a late charge couldn't make up the 10 points spotted to the Gators early, hence the final score. These two teams are still an enigma in my mind. As near as I can tell, history will repeat itself with these two: they could both be mediocre (last season), Florida could be good and Tennessee bad (2009 season), or they could both be good (the 1990s). But since we're three games in, the only way to find out is to keep track of these two as they play. I know, a noncommittal review if there ever was one.

#18 Arizona State-14, Illinois-17

Well, the Sun Devils' stay in the Top 25 was awful brief, now wasn't it? Give ASU credit, they played a much tougher nonconference schedule than most, going up against 2 foes from AQ conferences. Their reward? By losing this game in week 3 of the season, Arizona State could go undefeated the rest of the way and they would almost certainly not make the National Title game. Gotta love this system!

#19 Auburn-24, Clemson-38

I really wanna hype up my conference of choice some more, but we all know Auburn was living on borrowed time. If they hadn't had home field advantage in weeks one and two, there's a very real chance they could've been 0-2 coming into this game. So congrats to Clemson for exposing Auburn as a shell of last year's championship team.

There are real highlight for Clemson is that they staged an excellent comeback after falling behind 14-0 and 21-7. They also have 4 consecutive home games to open up the year, but we'll ignore that for now. If Clemson can beat Florida State at home and Virginia Tech on the road, though, I believe we'll have found ourselves the ACC Champion for 2011 by week five.

Auburn, meanwhile, gets to dust off and tune up against an awful Florida Atlantic team. Then they play South Carolina, Arkansas, Florida, and LSU in consecutive weeks, with 3 of those games on the road. Have fun, Tigers!

#20 West Virginia-38, Maryland-31

Maryland, probably the 4th or 5th best team in the ACC, made a real run at a comeback against the best of the Big East. Oh, sorry, I was doing that ACC thing again.

Ahem, the couch burners of Morgantown managed to use the power of inbreeding to narrowly defeat a team with none of their tradition or recruiting pull.* Those same furniture-torching, cousin-marrying, mediocre-conference-dwelling West Virginians had best hope that their team can put together two good halves of football, or it'll be a long game this week against LSU.

Oh, and the Maryland/Temple game might actually be good! (See Bottom 95 for all your hot, breaking Temple news!)

#21 Texas-49, UCLA-20

Texas avenged the first of its many miserable losses from last season. Well, one down, 6 to go! Texas now gets to play (and likely destroy) Iowa State. Then we'll see just how much better this year's edition of the Longhorns are when they play Oklahoma in the Red River Non-violent-substitute-for-the-word-"Shootout"-goes-here. Should be a good one!

Florida A&M-17, #22 South Florida-70

About the only good thing Florida A&M can take away from this is that if you mumble the score really fast, then it kinda sounds like they tied. South Florida looks like they could be West Virginia's lone threat in the Big East, but there's a looooooong way to go before the Bulls play the Generic Hill People Stereotypes in their season closing game on December 1.

UL-Monroe-17, #23 TCU-38

After getting beaten by Baylor in the opener, TCU seems to have recovered nicely. They don't get tested again until they go to San Diego State on October 8, so look for that to be the day we find out how far-removed these Horned Frogs are from last year's Rose Bowl Champs.

Stephen F. Austin-0, #24 Baylor-48

The weather in the Midwest really sucked this weekend. So did this game...

And now, gird your loins for Tales from the Bottom 95:

Wyoming is 3-0! Great job, Cowboys...Penn State very narrowly edged past Temple. That's not a particularly good sign for the Nittany Lions as the meat of the season draws ever-nearer...Iowa staged a massive rally to beat Pitt on Saturday. This week we'll learn if that was Iowa's fighting spirit, Pitt's ineptitude, or both...Georgia Tech avenged last year's loss to Kansas by running up the score on the Jayhawks in Atlanta. The Jackets may be back atop the ACC sooner than you'd think. The Jayhawks, meanwhile, are already counting down the days to basketball season...Vandy creamed Ole Miss. Houston Nutt should probably print some copies of his résumé while he still gets free ink...Georgia grabbed their first win of the season, albeit against Coastal Carolina...Duke beat Boston College. Heaven help us all if Richmond were to join the ACC, because there's at least 2 teams in the conference they could beat...Carolina defeats UVa. This game won't really be in good perspective until both teams play a few more ACC foes...Florida International is 3-0? The heck?!...Houston still can't play defense...Lastly, Hawaii had to go to Las Vegas. Wow, leaving Hawaii to go to Las Vegas. The only bad part about the trip must've been the beatdown the warriors suffered at the hands of UNLV...

That's all for this week! See you next time! West Virginia fans, be sure to dictate your hate mail to one of the 5 literate people in your state!

*--To any Maryland fan who argues about tradition: You are the only person who has ever been on this blog that knows Maryland won the 1951 National Title. No one else cares.

Cliff's Notes Saturday 9/10/11

Another truncated post? Jeez, I need to get my act together!

*This week was actually sort of dull. I know I might be asking too much of early season games, but come on! Last week we had LSU/Oregon, next week we get FSU/Oklahoma. This week? Georgia/South Carolina? It was an exciting game, but let's not get too carried away.

*Georgia's loss to SC probably cements them as the best 0-2 team in the country. Mind you, an 0-2 record and a nickel is worth 5 cents, but you can't call Georgia a slouch team.

*Arizona State donned some slick-looking black alternate uniforms this week and knocked off Missouri. What can I say, I'm a sucker for black alternate uniforms, so long as they don't have Tron numbers and orange clown shoes.

*Oregon State got smacked by Wisconsin. Could be a great year for the Badgers. Could be a terrible year for the Beavers. In all likelihood, it's gonna be both.

*Virginia Tech avoided puking up an inexplicably stupid loss to ECU. Barely. Now they have the mighty Arkansas State Red Wolves

*Auburn's gonna be this year's version of LSU: inexplicably winning games they have no business winning.

*Ohio State escaped Toledo. That Miami/OSU game could actually be interesting!

Moving downward...Tales from the Bottom 95

*Louisville showed improvement last season, then they lost to FIU on Friday...the heck?!

*Carolina won despite desperately trying not to. How desperate was it? Well, they fumbled on a kneel-down play. That's how ugly the game was.

*Clemson beat Wofford by 8. Go ACC.

*Notre Dame/Michigan was a very good game with an exceptional finale. Heck, that may have been the game of the week! (<-No sarcasm!)

That's it for this week. See you next time...

Saturday in Cliff's Notes: 9/3/11

Between work and travel, I haven't had time to compose an unnecessarily long and verbally abusive post. No matter, I shall rectify this with a super-short (for me) rundown of the first Saturday's slate. Behold! The bulleted list of the Top 25!

• The following ranked teams played a 1-AA (FCS) school in their season opener: Nebraska, Arkansas, Virginia Tech, and Michigan State. Unbelievably enough, that's not too bad...
• The following ranked schools played teams from other major conferences: Oregon, LSU, Boise State, TCU, Notre Dame, and Georgia. (Note: I use the Coaches Poll when writing these, so Southern Cal's game against Minnesota doesn't count. Much like the rest of SC's season...) Unfortunately for fans, 4 of those schools were playing other ranked schools, meaning they had 2 of the most challenging games of the week. This sort of scheduling won't ensure good first weeks! Letting Nebraska, Georgia Tech, and Virginia Tech pummel members of the SoCon while Georgia has to play the #5 team in the country isn't fair to Georgia! There really should be some sort of rule against this. Well, that or a system that didn't virtually lock out any team who lost in week 1...
• Of further note, in the matchups involving ranked teams and unranked major conference teams, the ranked team lost. This proves little more than something that's been said over and over again: preseason polls are heavily overrated.
• As a Virginia Tech fan and a Western Carolina grad, I have to admit that the App State/Virginia Tech game was the most entertaining television I've seen in a loooooong time.
• Auburn's scare at home should really wake up Tigers fans. Last year's senior-heavy team is gone, and this year's edition of the Tigers might resemble Gene Chizik's other teams...
• East Carolina held an edge on South Carolina for a while. Virginia Tech had best not get complacent...
• South Florida upset Notre Dame. Seriously, when are college fans going to learn their lesson about the Fighting Irish?

There's more that could be said, but let's move further south on the rankings radar, down to Tales from the Bottom 95:

• This year's FCS wins weren't as noteworthy as last year's JMU over Virginia Tech win. Still, the ACC was involved in an FCS/FBS upset, thus upholding the conference's proud tradition. This year, Duke carried the torch.
• But don't go accusing me of East Coast Bias: Oregon State also fell to Sacramento State! I look forward to the coming arguments (probably from the Sporting News) about how the Pac-12 plays the toughest schedule and how Sacramento State is a tough team and how this loss proves nothing. Seriously, can't wait.
• Kentucky struggled with Western Kentucky. The SEC may yet turn into a conference of haves and have-nots.
• Michigan won a game so convincingly that they didn't even play the 4th quarter! How long until they're ranked again? I give it two weeks: beat Notre Dame and Eastern Michigan, climb into the Top 25, probably beat San Diego State, enter conference play and just turn on the highlight reels from '09 and '10. We've seen this show before...
• The ACC avoided any really egg-on-face level losses this season (Duke sucks at football, don't act surprised.). That said, the conference on the coast didn't look that impressive with Wake blowing a late lead, Boston College losing to Northwestern, and the rest of the conference playing 1-AA schools, Sun Belt Schools, or conference games.
• One final ACC blurb: Maryland and Miami. Fun game, close game, blah blah blah. My focus is on Maryland's uniform. The State of Maryland seems extremely proud of its hideous excuse for a flag, so much so that they permit it to be worn on their university's uniforms. And, somehow, it manages to look even worse there. Please let this be the last time I see those things...
• Other conferences? Eh, it's week one. We'll keep tabs on things during the nonconference schedule, but don't expect any real judgment until week 3 or 4. Until then, enjoy the new season! I intend on it...

Saturday in Review: Conference Championship Edition

At some point in college football's long and storied history, someone said, "Hey, you know how we could make more money? We could have a championship game between the winners of our conference's two divisions! That way, even though sometimes one division of the conference is way stronger than another, the weaker division still has a chance to totally screw up the larger team's season. In the meantime, ticket sales and TV revenues will ensure that we can line our pockets!"

The people who were with this person shook their heads sadly. They admired his attempt and finding a clear-cut conference winner, but knew that it was a gesture designed more to make money than to promote clear outcomes. After all, how could one declare an 8-4 team champion if they beat a 11-1 team? There was still a 2 game difference. So these other people simply shrugged and went on with their lives. That one guy, however, went on to start a major corporation, make millions, and be put in charge of a college football conference, where he created the first conference championship. And that leads us to today. Sure, there were some other games from other conferences, but we all know where the real show was on Saturday. And Friday, in one obscure case.

SEC Championship

#1 Auburn-56, #19 South Carolina-17

Well, sometimes history repeats itself less dramatically. As everyone knows (and if you didn't, how did you get Internet under that rock?) South Carolina and Auburn played one another earlier in the season. In that game, South Carolina jumped out to an early lead and failed to hold it. In this game, Auburn jumped out in the lead, South Carolina hung around for about a half, Auburn scored a last minute Hail Mary TD, and South Carolina decided to go home after the first half, allowing Auburn to hammer them in the second half.

In short, this game was nothing it was supposed to be. It was mostly dull, one-sided, and didn't even come close to providing the #1 team in the land with a good game. Guess we'll have to wait until January for that to happen, because...

#2 Oregon-37, Oregon State-20

You know, Oregon State never really got knocked out of this game. They never looked to be in it (aside from the 1st quarter, obviously) and yet they were never kicked out of the game completely. 17 points isn't a huge win, especially when you consider that we're talking about the #2 team in the country beating a squad that wound up 5-7. I know the rivalry factor is fun, but still, this raises some pretty important questions about the Ducks. Neither they nor Auburn have looked invincible this season, and I think we could have a pretty dang good national title matchup on our hands. Mind you, there's a team from Ft. Worth that would disagree with me...

Big 12 Championship

#9 Oklahoma-23, #13 Nebraska-20

Well, Nebraska's last Big 12 game didn't go quite the way the Huskers wanted. At least there weren't any super-controversial officiating decisions. No, this one was mostly a case of Oklahoma making some good changes and keeping Taylor Martinez and the Nebraska offense off balance for much of the second half. Nebraska jumped out to a 17-0 lead, and then the wheels came off of the Big Red Machine. Wait, that's the nickname for Cincinnati's baseball team from the '70s. Let's just move to the next paragraph.

Nebraska now goes to the Holiday Bowl--again. They'll be playing a rematch between themselves and Washington, which will likely look like last year's Holiday Bowl. Nebraska will then leave the Big 12 to become the 12th team in the Big 10 (ironic, right?), thus ending a season full of backbiting and controversy on the part of the Big 12 and Nebraska. I honestly don't know what the big deal is. Maybe it's the belief that Nebraska stabbed the Big 12 in the back. While there's something big to be said about a sense of honor, please don't kid yourselves about the cleanliness of college football. This is a sport with a non-satisfactory championship system, rampant recruiting violations, a "look the other way" policy on high-profile arrests, and athletic departments that have ballooned to utterly ridiculous sizes; the Big 12 conference officials can be offended by Nebraska's departure, but the average fan (even of a Big 12 school!) shouldn't be worried. Nebraska's leaving their old home for a variety of reasons, but let's not delude ourselves into thinking that money isn't #1 on the list. If they felt they could get more cash playing in the WAC, they'd have tried. I mean, come on, the Big 12 itself was born out of the collapse of the Southwest Conference. The more profitable schools in the conference got to jump to the Big 12 (Texas, Texas Tech, Texas A&M) while smaller schools went to lesser conferences (SMU, TCU, Houston, Rice). And Baylor went to the Big 12, too, but every rule has an exception. So fault Nebraska if you must for players drinking and semi-abusive coaching, but don't fault them for leaving the Big 12.

As to Oklahoma, what is there to say? Congrats to the Sooners for winning the conference title, keeping it in the South Division for the 7th straight year. Barring some conference expansion for the Big 12, that would appear to be where the trophy is staying for the time being. OU looked to be dead in the water after losing two of three back in October/November, but they are now BCS-bound, where they should have no trouble breaking their BCS bowl losing streak, considering that they'll be playing the Big East Champion UConn Huskies. (That's right kids, a team in this week's Bottom 95 will be getting a $17 million payday, while the #8 ranked 11-1 Michigan State Spartans will be getting just over $4 million to play in the Capital One Bowl. Guess they should have just been ranked higher in the preseason and this wouldn't have happened!)

Utah State-14, #11 Boise State-50

I will admit that I am somewhat proud of the BCS computers and voters. I fully expected them to drop Boise State to at least 15th. But they didn't and that is somewhat commendable. For their part, the Broncos surprised no one and went out and crushed Utah State this week, thus earning the right to split the WAC title with Nevada.

In addition, whatever group selects bowls did blogs everywhere a service by denying Boise the right to play an AQ team in their bowl, instead choosing to shoehorn Boise and Utah together where they can't hurt any of the big boys' pride. In other words, it's a whole lot like last year. And then, after the season is over, people can say that Boise State only played Virginia Tech and Oregon State--and Virginia Tech lost to James Madison and Oregon State went 5-7, so Boise clearly wouldn't have made a deep run in a playoff like, say, Butler did last friggin' year in basketball. But, no, fans of the Big 10, SEC, Pac-10, Big 12, ACC, and Big East can just keep grinning and claiming plausible deniability (look it up!) Oh, and about that Virginia Tech team that Boise beat earlier in the year...

ACC Championship

#21 Florida State-33, #15 Virginia Tech-44

I'll start with Florida State. The Seminoles enjoyed a pretty good turnaround this season, and they look to continue that going into next year. They'll be the only big name school in Florida (apologies to USF and UCF, but it's true) that's not looking for a coach, thanks to Pope Urban leaving and Randy Shannon getting canned. The Seminoles also have the advantage of playing in the weaker of the two divisions of the already-weak ACC, so they have real potential to be a fixture in the ACC Championship Game for years to come. Consider also that Florida State's quarterback E.J. Manuel is a sophomore, and you have a recipe for success in Tallahassee. So good for Florida State, and good luck in the Chick-Fil-A Bowl.

As to Virginia Tech, I had a lengthy bit of season summary stuff to type here, but I think I'll just post a link to the bottom of this game's section. There will be time for typing about the Hokies in the Orange Bowl Preview.

Now, the link I'm about to post isn't for everyone. You don't have to click it if you're not on the list of people it's for. So who is this for? Well, it's for the UVa fans who swore this would be their year to beat the Hokies. It's for the ECU Pirates who were sure they would make Virginia Tech lose 3 straight. It's for the idiots who chant "JMU" on message boards, as though that will somehow change the fact that Virginia Tech just won the conference. It's for all the fans of all the other ACC schools who beat their 1-AA cupcake and mocked the Hokies for failing to do so. It's for those same fans who are now looking up at Virginia Tech, the first team to go undefeated in conference play since 2000. It's for the Florida State fans who bought their Orange Bowl tickets before the ACC Championship Game. It's for anyone who still thinks Virginia Tech ruined Boise State's season. It's especially for the Miami fans who call Virginia Tech "second rate" while Miami fills half its stadium, goes 7-5, and fires its coach. It's for anyone, anywhere, who thought or hoped that Virginia Tech would give up after Week 1 of the season. If you're on that list then this link's for you!

#17 Nevada-35, Louisiana Tech-17

Nevada admirably didn't let their success go to their heads, avoiding the "week after" letdown that so many schools have suffered this season. That's really all I got.

Arizona State-30, #23 Arizona-29

I only included this game to make a point: Why, after 3 straight losses, was Arizona still ranked? Yes, they were to two now-Top 5 teams with Southern Cal sandwiched in the middle, but why was Arizona still hanging out in the Top 25? Texas lost to lowly UCLA, then narrowly lost to Oklahoma and they got dropped from #7 to unranked. How come Arizona lost to Stanford, USC, and Oregon and only fell 8 spots (15 to 23)? Is the bottom half of the Top 25 that bad? Just askin'.

Oh, and if you haven't seen the highlight package of this game, look it up now. Two blocked extra points made the difference in this one, which is a wonderful sight for those of us who think special teams isn't emphasized enough.*

Rutgers-14, #24 West Virginia-35

First off, welcome back Big East! We've missed you here in the Top 25! Mind you, I sort of wonder what the computers and voters are thinking right now. The lone ranked team in the Big East isn't the team that won the conference title. Oh, sure, West Virginia has a share of the title with Pitt and UConn, but only the Huskies are going to a BCS bowl. Heck, the Huskies beat the other two teams on that list. So why aren't they ranked? OK, the losses to Michigan and Temple look a heck of a lot worse than a loss to LSU, but the bottom line is that West Virginia will almost certainly finish ranked ahead of a team that not only beat them in conference, but also beat them head-to-head. In fact, virtually the only way that WVU finishes below UConn is if the Mountaineers lose to unranked NC State and the Huskies pull off the upset of Oklahoma. If only one of those things happens, then West Virginia finishes ahead of UConn. Again, don't look too hard at college football's inner workings--you might notice the little man behind the curtain.

MAC Championship

#25 Northern Illinois-21, Miami (Ohio)-26

Waaaaaay back at the start of the season, I mocked Miami of Ohio for being "the bad Miami." I officially, publicly, in front of the 3 people who will read this, recant that statement. The game in which I mocked Miami was their game against the Florida Gators, a team which finished 7-5--worse than the RedHawks. The school with which Miami shares a name, Miami University (in Florida) also finished 7-5. Neither one of the Florida schools won their conference, something that Miami of Ohio did on Friday night. So, RedHawks, I'm sorry. Have fun at your extremely obscure bowl, which is named and sponsored by a company known primarily for its sexually explicit ads about website domain registration.

Meanwhile, you have to feel for Northern Illinois. They had gone on an impressive run, stuck with Illinois early in the season, and reeled off 9 straight wins before they were bested by a tipped pass at the last second in their conference championship game. At least they're in the MAC, so very very few people actually saw them lose. Plus, they were ranked this week, which means they avoid going into 2010's last edition of...

Tales from the Bottom 95

Congrats to UConn, who went from "the team that got killed by Michigan to start the year" to "the team that got killed by Michigan, but benefited from being in a horrible conference and will now be going to a BCS bowl game." What a difference a season can make...I know it's not technically about this Saturday, but I have to mention the single greatest injustice of the season. How, with 35 bowl games (not an exaggeration), was there not room for the Temple Owls in the postseason? They're 8-4. They stuck with Penn State at Penn State. They beat UConn. That's right, a team which went 8-4 and beat a BCS bowl participant isn't going to a bowl game. It's not like there's not room somewhere, either! The Pac-10 has 6 bowl tie-ins and only 4 bowl eligible teams! Bump someone up, please! Don't fill the gaps with mediocre AQ teams! Let Temple play!...I know, I know, follow the money. That's why Tennessee's going bowling and Temple isn't...In actual football news, Illinois lost to Fresno State, thus allowing Illinois to keep their streak of .500 or worse seasons alive! Live the dream!...UCLA lost to Southern Cal in a game that lost all of its meaning when UCLA became bowl ineligible last week...Washington beat Washington State, proving nothing, but hopefully raising Jake Locker back into Heisman contention...Cincinnati followed up their 2 straight Big East titles by going 4-8 in Butch Jones's first year...Finally, UNLV lost to Hawaii. Those poor UNLV players, leaving Las Vegas to go to Hawaii and then come back to Las Vegas. I feel really sorry for Hawaii, whose players must make a return trip next season!

That's all for the Conference Championship breakdown. Stay tuned for the bowl previews, thoughts on Urban Meyer leaving, and the inevitable victory of Cam Newton in Heisman voting.

*-"Those of us" are basically just Virginia Tech fans and former kickers. Don't tell anyone.

Saturday in Review 11/27/10

Normally, I just do Saturday games, assuming that no one wants to read a 1,000 word article about the Thursday night games. Weeks like these, however, force a blogger's hand. He must either write about them all or stick to his guns and miss all the fun. And in many ways, most of the fun was on Friday. So let's get started, shall we?

#21 Arizona-29, #1 Oregon-48

Well, surprise, surprise. Oregon trailed at the half and pulled ahead in the second half. Mind you, they only trailed 19-14. The Ducks "blur" offense has been a slow-starting one for most of this season. I've said this before. Not much has changed, and if Oregon and Auburn play in the national title (a very realistic thing at this point), we could see a scoreless first quarter, followed by a 63-57 game...Hey, speaking of Auburn.

#2 Auburn-28, #11 Alabama-27

I have never seen a Nick Saban coached team blow a 24-0 lead. I assume Auburn's trainers served Holy Water at the half. It's the only rational step, really. (I kid, I kid.)

In all seriousness, it was an excellent comeback by Auburn, including this excellent defensive play, where Alabama's Mark Ingram lost the ball. Yes, I just used "excellent defensive play" when I was talking about Auburn's defense. These things happen, don't take it as a sign of approval. I still don't like the fact that our two realistic potential national championship teams are basically defense-free squads. But, then again, being a cranky old man trapped in a 24 year old's body comes with its downsides. One is that I apparently like the way football was played in the '30s...

I dare say that Auburn does deserve the top spot in the country, though. They play in a tough defensive conference, and they still average almost 42 points per game. None too shabby. Also, that Alabama staffer who got fired shouldn't have been. There's nothing wrong with having a sense of humor...

#3 TCU-66, New Mexico-17

#3 team in the country beats a 1 win conference foe by almost 50? Yeah, this doesn't need analysis.

#4 Boise State-31, #19 Nevada-34 (OT)

OK, Boise's kicker is taking quite a bit of heat for this one. And, yeah, he should have hit at least one of those field goals. But you know what? There are 11 offensive starters and 11 defensive starters who have to share some of the blame, too. As far as I'm concerned, you never put the game in the hands of the officials or the kickers. Virginia Tech put their game against Boise in the refs' hands and lost. Boise put this game in the kicker's hands (or feet) (if you laughed at that parenthetical comment, take a good hard reevaluation of your life) and lost.

Lastly, to all the Boise haters, don't look so smug and don't kid yourselves. For you, there was nothing Boise State could have done to please you: They lose to WAC competition and they were "inferior" and didn't deserve their high ranking. They go undefeated, and they were playing "weak competition" and didn't deserve their high ranking. The Broncos loss does realistically open the door for TCU, and I wish the Frogs the best. Boise will still go to a decent bowl, where they'll hopefully be paired off with a good BCS conference team. That way, when they beat them, we can hear more creative excuses from Ohio State's President about how the loss to Nevada far outweighs any victories against BCS schools.

Lastly, no, I'm not a Boise State apologist. I'm on their side in this scenario, because they would've been wronged by the system anyway. Heck, at least this loss ensures that Boise won't have to endure having an undefeated season and still get shorted. The downside, obviously, is that Boise won't go to a BCS bowl, while the ACC and Big East champions will...

#5 LSU-23, #12 Arkansas-31

Arkansas could easily (and with Boise's loss probably will) go to a BCS bowl now. I'm wondering when the SEC will suffer its fall.

Yeah, I know that sounds silly, but you have to think about it: Once upon a time it was assumed that Big 10 teams and Notre Dame were the unbeatable juggernauts of the land. If history teaches us anything, it's that dominance is always temporary. The SEC will eventually suffer a fall from grace, no matter how temporary.

I'm also curious if there's anyone in the SEC who is pro-playoff. Sure, they might claim to be, but I see no reason any SEC team should want a playoff, not having had a team in the big game for the last 4 years...

Why, no, I didn't get to watch this game. How'd you know?

Oregon State-0, #6 Stanford-38

You know, Oregon State started the season with very high hopes. They end the season with an shot at making a bowl and taking Oregon out of the national title game. Actually, it's sort of interesting that an Oregon loss could take them out of the BCS. I guess that gives hope to the Beavers. Rather unfortunately, losing by 38 to a team that Oregon beat by 21 can't give OSU much hope.

Stanford, meanwhile, looks poised to be the Pac-10's second BCS team. The Pac-10 is a mixed conference this season: the top half is really good. The bottom half is really bad, so bad that at max 5 Pac-10 teams will be going bowling. (Should be 6, but Southern Cal was done before the season started.) So...yeah...should be interesting to see what happens this week up in Oregon.

Northwestern-23, #7 Wisconsin-70

Wisconsin's scored a ton these past few weeks. Mind you, they've done so largely against inferior foes, but it worked. They didn't get passed by Ohio State (shockingly) in the latest BCS poll, so they'll be going to the Rose Bowl. Mind you, in the BCS standings they are only separated by .0553 points. That's...far too close for two teams that've played one another head to head. Two of the computers actually had Wisconsin ranked below OSU, a team that they beat. Oh, how I long for a playoff...

Michigan-7, #8 Ohio State-37

Dear Michigan,

Congrats on your 7-5 record. You can't have a losing season. Unfortunately, you have beaten exactly 4 teams with winning records (3 if you don't count UMass, which most people don't). In other words, you have successfully pulled of being mediocre. I know these letters are repetitive, but I can't shake the feeling that the national media just doesn't pay attention when I say, "Michigan isn't that good!" So, tell you what Michigan, I will call you mediocre until you beat at least one team that finishes the season ranked. This year isn't looking good for you, unless you beat your bowl team. If they have anything resembling a competent defense, you're in trouble. Have fun next season, though.

Sincerely,

Bones

#13 Oklahoma-47, #9 Oklahoma State-41

Bedlam, pure and simple. Yes, it's a great rivalry name, but it's also one of the few adequate ways to describe the back and forth, 40 point 4th quarter. There's a 3-way tie on top of the Big 12 South and Texas is in last in the division. That's...nuts. Oklahoma wins the division, though, and now has a shot at the BCS. After losing 2 of 3 in the middle of the season, that ain't too shabby for the Sooners, much as I hate to admit it.

Oh, and until proven otherwise, Oklahoma owns Oklahoma State. Eight straight years isn't an accident...

#10 Michigan State-28, Penn State-22

Ugh, a fairly boring game. At least Penn State made a comeback. Just fell short. It was a mediocre year for the once-ranked Nittany Lions, but I think they'll be fine next season. For now, they're jockeying for position with Michigan to see who gets in the Big 10's least-watched bowls. Michigan State is tied for the Big 10 lead, but their low ranking means that they'll go to the 3rd most important bowl. Which is unfair, because they're only ranked lower than Wisconsin or Ohio State because their loss came later in the season. Sorry, but that's just silly...

Kansas-7, #14 Missouri-35

Kansas isn't very good. Hopefully Turner Gill can turn things around. No, that was not a pun, do not treat it as such. Missouri's had a good year, but the large crop of good (well, high ranked) teams from the Big 10 and SEC will likely keep them out of the BCS. It doesn't help that they didn't make it to the conference championship. Still, with the big red hurdle of Nebraska out of the way next season, they'll have a good shot at taking the Big...whatever number they'll use next season...

Colorado-17, #15 Nebraska-45

Colorado needed a miracle to beat a much better Nebraska team. Long story short, they didn't get it, and Nebraska is headed to the Big 12 Championship game. Should be interesting to see if the Huskers can beat the crowd, the refs, and the Sooners. If they do, it'll leave a very bitter taste in the mouths of the Big 12 conference heads.

Virginia-7, #16 Virginia Tech-37

The rivalry for the Commonwealth Cup has been pretty one-sided this decade. Virginia has won once since 1999, and their last 4 graduating classes have never beaten Tech. I was at this game, but there's not much to tell. The first quarter was an embarrassment for the Hokies, what with the whole lack of scoring, but they successfully pulled ahead of the Cavs in the 2nd. The game didn't have much meaning aside from the rivalry aspect: Tech was already headed to the ACC Championship Game, and UVa wasn't going to be going bowling regardless of the outcome. The Hokies are in for a heck of a fight in Charlotte with the Florida State Seminoles, and the winner of that game will go to the Orange Bowl.

One final piece of advice. When watching a game in 30 degree weather with winds of 10-15 mph, take lip balm. My lips have never been so chapped. It burns!

#17 Texas A&M-24, Texas-17

Texas had a year that can only adequately be described as bad. Their wins were against Rice, Wyoming, Texas Tech, Nebraska, and Florida Atlantic. The Nebraska win is pretty good (on the road, etc.) but the others are underwhelming. In an area with prime recruiting and a proud tradition, this season probably looks disastrous. But at least there's new blood at the top of the division. I suppose that makes things interesting. Texas is supposed to dominate the new-look Big Whatever Number, but if they have another season like this one, they may fire Mack Brown instead.

A&M, meanwhile, didn't win the South because of their 3 losses, but they did screw up Oklahoma's shot at a one-loss year. So that has to count for something...

#18 South Carolina-29, Clemson-7

The SEC and ACC played 4 games on this particular Saturday. The ACC won 2 of the 4 Yeah, I know it's selective history and the Vandy/Wake game only proves who has the better cellar dweller. But, hey, living in a region where SEC superiority is rammed down down my throat every Saturday, it's nice to see the little brother conference break even. This game, however, is like the Florida State/Florida game: a meaningless in-state matchup in which one conference's division leader plays a mediocre team from the other conference. Surprise, surprise, the division leader won. South Carolina is now looking forward to Auburn, hoping to correct their September mistakes and win the game with their second set of Tigers in two weeks.

Clemson finished at 6-6, thus proving my mediocrity hypothesis correct. Keep the dream alive, boys! Find a way to tie the bowl game!

BYU-16, #20 Utah-17

Utah clips BYU in an exciting game in a boring state (sorry, sorry...). Utah seems to have recovered pretty well from their little skid to TCU and Notre Dame, and they should make some nameless western bowl. Hopefully one sponsored by a diet pill or something...

Florida-7, #22 Florida State-31

This game was a lot like the South Carolina/Clemson game: a meaningless in-state matchup in which one conference's division leader plays a mediocre team from the other conference. Surprise, surprise, the division leader won. FSU will be playing in what should be a close ACC Championship game, while Florida will go to a non-BCS bowl for the first time in 2 years...

#23 NC State-31, Maryland-38

Some handy hints for the Wolfpack in the future: 1: Don't fall behind 38-17 with 6 and a half minutes left. Not a recipe for success.

2: If a guy has already scored 3 receiving touchdowns, cover him so he doesn't score a 4th touchdown. Just a tip.

Congrats to Maryland, who had an impact on the ACC Championship game after all...

#24 Iowa-24, Minnesota-27

As far as I'm concerned, this loss means that Iowa should not accept their bowl bid. Minnesota?! New coach or no, that's sad.

#25 Mississippi State-31, Ole Miss-23

So a team that lost to a 1-AA school to open up the season loses to their ranked rival at home. Are we surprised? Yes, use the James Madison line if you must, but at least Virginia Tech didn't crap out, which is more than anyone can say for the Rebels, who finished a whopping 1-7 in conference.

And now...Tales from the Bottom 95

Miami fired their coach after losing to South Florida. Pity, because Shannon was a stand-up guy. Guess Miami got tired of losing with integrity, so they'll probably go back to winning with thugs...Louisville beat Rutgers and got to be bowl eligible. Good job, Cardinals! An impressive recovery from the previous bad years. They could make some noise in the Big East if Strong stays coach...Akron got their first win...Tennessee gained bowl eligibility by beating Kentucky for the 26th straight time...UConn beat Cincinnati in what realistically could have been a game between the former and future Big East champs. And now, listen for the vomiting noise from fans of Top 15 teams that won't go to the BCS...Boston College beat Syracuse, so the ACC and Big East went 1-1 against each other this Saturday. Most fans in both conferences are eagerly awaiting basketball season..UNC beat Duke in a game attended by almost 8 fans!...Florida International, 4 years removed from a winless season, clinched the Sun Belt title this week. Congrats to the Golden Panthers!...Georgia became bowl eligible by beating Georgia Tech. No one outside of Georgia cares...Notre Dame beat Southern Cal. Ahem, BWAHAHAHAHAHA. Even when they were ineligible, people actually had Southern Cal ranked. Please, someone, find me those voters...Idaho got shut out of a bowl with a loss to Fresno State...If Hawaii wins their bowl game they can have a 10 win season. As it is, they're 9-3 and the only team that beat Nevada. Congrats to the Warriors. Here's hoping you get to stay in Hawaii for your bowl...

And that's it for the week. See you later!

Saturday in Review 11/20/10

There are times where a guy has to challenge himself. This week, the challenge is to pretend that anything interesting happened in college football. To that end, I aim to make this week's Saturday in Review an exciting, thrill-a-minute palooza of pure joy. I'm going to cut to the quick, and tell you exactly what was interesting in each and every game from the Top 25. Let's begin, shall we?

Fresno State-0, #4 Boise State-51

What was interesting: The fact that this game was on Friday! And the fact that the top 3 teams in the nation had the week off. Congratulations, Boise State, for biting the bullet and actually playing a game in late November. That was very noble of you! Also interesting, the fact that this game is Boise's 4th highest point total on the year! So congrats to Fresno State, who held the Broncos to fewer points than Idaho, New Mexico State, or Toledo!

Ole Miss-36, #5 LSU-43

What was interesting: When isn't an LSU game interesting? They successfully beat Alabama, went down to the Swamp and beat Florida, and narrowly clipped mediocre Tennessee at home. Heck, they struggled with McNeese State for about a half. I'm really hoping that the Arkansas game this week goes into double overtime and LSU wins on a fumbled extra point that the long snapper picks up and lugs into the endzone. Hey, a guy can dream.

#6 Stanford-48, Cal-14

What was interesting: The fact that Stanford's mascot is the Cardinal. That's singular! They're one of a very few teams whose mascot doesn't end in "s." And that's about the only thing that's interesting about a 48-14 game, especially one that was 45-0 going into the 4th quarter.

#7 Wisconsin-48, Michigan-28

What was interesting: What's interesting? Well, I get to write a letter! That's interesting, dang it!

Dear Michigan,

Hey, it's me again. You never respond to my letters. I originally thought it was because you were so busy with that tough schedule that includes nonconference giants such as UConn and UMass and Bowling Green. Any hoo, I'm glad that you made it out of the nonconference slate untouched by defeat, because it meant you only had to win 2 conference games to make a bowl. You did, so congratulations. But you still haven't replied to any of my letters! You still have yet to explain exactly why you fired Lloyd Carr. Was it because he lost that one game to App State? Because since then you guys are undefeated against 1-AA schools, so I guess that's an accomplishment. Mind you, you've only beaten two ranked teams since the '07 season, and neither of those schools finished the season in the Top 25. You have no defense and your offense tends to fall apart against teams that are even remotely decent at defending. In short, you have successfully attained mediocrity. I really can't wait to read the newspaper articles in 2011, proclaiming that you are back and that Denard Robinson is going to lead you to a Big 10 title in 2011. Until then, enjoy your trip to the Big Al's House of Staplers Bowl in Paducah, Kentucky.

Swarthily,

Bones

PS: Wisconsin...keep winning! I really really really want to see how the BCS explains Ohio State leapfrogging you for the conference title!

#8 Nebraska-6, #19 Texas A&M-9

What was interesting: Conspiracy theories! Crummy offense! Bo Pelini looking like the villain from a poorly made Sci-Fi film! (Full disclosure, that picture is from the '08 Virginia Tech game) Plus, the lone Top 25 upset of the week! This was a great game. Unless of course you like to watch halfway decent offense or good officiating. In that case, the game was more infuriating and less entertaining. Also of interest, one of my first truly random stats o' the year:

Nebraska's record against teams in the state of Texas: 0-2

Nebraska's record against teams from anywhere else in the country: 9-0

Here's hoping for the Huskers that they don't get TCU in their bowl game...

#9 Ohio State-20, #20 Iowa-17

What was interesting: I had a full writeup of this planned, then Ohio State's president said something impossibly stupid. So you know what? As much as I am pained to do it, I will be cheering for Michigan this weekend. It beats listening to this tripe.

#10 Oklahoma State-48, Kansas-14

What was interesting: Oklahoma State's presence in the Top 10 is pretty dang interesting. In the sense that they're there because no one else can say "we only have one loss." Kansas is also interesting, in the same way that a train wreck is interesting.

Purdue-31, #12 Michigan State-35

What was interesting: Purdue almost ruined my dream of a three-way Big 10 tie! And Michigan State looked horrible for three quarters, something they can't afford to do against a Penn State team that isn't great, but much better than Purdue.

#13 Arkansas-38, #21 Mississippi State-31 (2OT)

What was interesting: Double overtime in the SEC? Hey, man, that's pretty exciting! Mind you, thanks to our current system, no one out side of the deep south legitimately believes that this game had any effect on anything. If Arkansas can beat LSU this coming weekend they may sneak into a BCS bowl. Yeah, try that on for size...

#14 Oklahoma-53, Baylor-24

What was interesting: I can't use the "Baylor's back to being Baylor" joke 3 times in a row, can I? Yes, I can. If this game with this score had happened last year, it'd be totally unremarkable. I'll put this another way: Anyone remember '08, when Vandy climbed into the top 15, then finished by barely making a bowl game? Yeah, that's this year's Baylor squad. Also interesting: The fact that Oklahoma could still conceivably make the Big 12 title game and a BCS Bowl by beating Oklahoma State this weekend. Frankly, I hope it happens so people will stop acting like the Big 12 is a power conference...

#15 Missouri-14, Iowa State-0

What was interesting: Iowa State stuck with the Missouri and the only other ranked team in their division of the Big 12 (Nebraska). It's weird, because they seem to be right on the cusp of having a great season (or a decent one) but they never seem to get above .500. They ended this season at 5-7, though, so no bowl for the Cyclones. Missouri, meanwhile, has to beat Kansas and hope that Colorado upsets Nebraska. In other words, there is a major battle going on out in the states that only about 12 people live in. Yeah, I might have East Coast Bias, but that's just because I can't watch any games from West of the Mississippi...

#16 Virginia Tech-31, #24 Miami-17

What was interesting: I've spent some time on the ESPN forums. It was a mistake, but I did learn something critical: Miami fans still think their program is legitimate. I swear, it's true! Hey, man, it's funny to me, too. Miami, which hasn't come close to winning a title since their last one, has a fan base that still thinks they should be in the title chase year in and year out. At what point do they qualify as Notre Dame South?

Other interesting bit: The last time Virginia Tech won this many games in a row was in 1999, the only year the Hokies have ever been to the National Title game. Sad that this year it came after 2 straight losses.

Last bits of interesting bits in this game: 1) Virginia Tech clinched their division of the ACC, 2) those Miami fans that think they're relevant are the same ones who left their stadium 3/4ths empty by the end of Saturday's game, and 3) there's still quite a bit of lingering hatred between Virginia Tech and Miami fans, just in case you couldn't tell.

Troy-24, #17 South Carolina-69

What was interesting: That SEC teams are allowed to do this in November. (See also: The Alabama game that I refuse to write about because it's a travesty. No, I'm not even going to provide a link to it.)

New Mexico State-6, #19 Nevada-52

What was interesting: Not much. This game sets up a big matchup between Boise and Nevada to end the season. The BCS is praying that the Wolf Pack stay in the game. I guess it's also interesting that D-1A (FBS) programs in New Mexico are a combined 3-19. That is...remarkably bad.

#23 Utah-38, San Diego State-34

What was interesting: Well, a team from Utah beat San Diego State without having alumni in the replay booth. I guess that's newsworthy. Also newsworthy are the Aztecs, who have gone from 4-8 to 7-4. Those four losses are by a combined 15 points. That, my friends, is a pretty impressive turnaround. In the interest of equality, congrats to Utah for pulling out of that 2 game skid. If the Utes beat BYU this weekend, they should be able to go to a halfway decent bowl game! Hooray!

#25 Florida State-30, Maryland-16

What was interesting: Surprisingly, this game was only blown open when Maryland threw a pick-six in the red zone with under a minute left in the game. That loss knocked Maryland out of the hunt for the ACC Championship game. That's right, the ACC was bad enough this season that MARYLAND was in the hunt for the conference title until the second to last game of the year. Also interesting: Florida State has gone from "Beat Maryland, beat Maryland, beat Maryland!" to, "Go Terps, go!" If Maryland wins this weekend, the 'Noles go to the ACC Championship game. Otherwise, NC State will play Virginia Tech in Charlotte on December 4th. Either way, it will be a matchup to determine who goes to a BCS Bowl. (That sound you're currently hearing is the collective vomiting of fans of SEC and Big 10 schools whose Top 10 ranked squads won't get into BCS games because of the Big East and ACC Champions. You're welcome, kids. Got a problem with it? Change the system!)

So that's all for the interesting stuff. Now, let's get vindictive with...

Tales from the Bottom 95

First off, apologies to Sloppy whose article about this Saturday used the term "uneventful." So I wrote this whole thing with my tongue firmly in my cheek, to prove how "eventful" even a boring Saturday can be...In actual sports news, NC State beat Carolina in a thriller. Well, a thriller so long as you were willing to ignore the fact that it was ACC football..Also, I can't believe I didn't note that this was the 4th straight Saturday in Review without a single mention of the Big East. Seriously, unless they go undefeated in the bowls, the Big East might consider relinquishing BCS status. At least the ACC has 2 ranked teams. Heck, at least the ACC has more than one team with 3 losses or fewer...For now...Tennessee beat Vandy, meaning the Vols are one win away from another crummy bowl!...Special thanks to Oregon State for smacking Southern Cal around...Florida beat App State 48-10, in a battle of teams that I'm Constitutionally obligated to despise...Georgia Tech attained bowl eligibility by beating Duke by 10 at home. O! How the mighty have fallen!...Eastern Michigan picked up their second win on the season, so a non-sarcastic congrats to the Eagles...The San Jose State Spartans, owners of a murderous schedule, are 1-10 following a road loss to Hawaii. Oh, well, at least they got to go to Hawaii...

And I was going to type something about the game at Wrigley, but ESPN pounded us over the head with that one so much that I no longer care. Oh, well. See you next Saturday!