Extra-late Saturday in Review 10/1/11

The last week around the Bones household has been spent fighting a cold, fighting students, fighting an opposing tennis team, and fighting insanity. At least I'm putting up a fight, unlike a certain maroon and orange wearing team I cheer for...Let's run through the games speedily.

*No comments about the Clemson/Virginia Tech game. I called this thing 2 weeks ago (last week was my bye week for the season), and anyone who pays any attention to football shouldn't have been surprised. Tech's offense is a tire fire: they wouldn't have even scored their measly three points in the 2nd quarter if it weren't for an interception in Clemson's territory. Another year of frustration, and it's about time to ask a horrible question: Will Frank Beamer be the best coach to never win a national title? Right now the answer's a resounding "Probably."

*Serious hat tip to Clemson, the Tigers look like they might break out of their cycle of mediocrity this season. Heck, Clemson fans might even come to terms with the fact that it's no longer 1981 if the team keeps winning! Then they can stay stuck in 2011 for 30 years until the next non-mediocre Clemson team drunkenly stumbles along.

*Why no, I'm not bitter at all.

*Last Thursday, Pitt beat the snot out of South Florida. Looks like the Big East will be West Virginia's conference after all.

*Speaking of the West Virginia Generic Hill People Mascots, West Virginia's really starting to look like a paper tiger. Their big wins have come over vastly inferior teams, they had to clip a mediocre Maryland squad (that then suffered a 38-7 loss to Temple), and they got absolutely hosed (at home) by LSU. So West Virginia is likely on their way to the BCS, but who knows what'll happen once they get there.

*Bama defeated Florida, this time on the Gators' turf. Methinks the Swamp has lost some of its luster in recent years. Also, the Bama victory means that they win the annual "Who will Verne Lundquist inexplicably hype up every freakin' week on CBS" contest! As a result, SEC games not featuring Alabama will still feature at least 1 reference declaring how much better Alabama is than the two teams playing on the field. Gotta love those commentators! Games Alabama loses will be erased from Verne's memory with one of the Men in Black's neuralizers.

*Boise claims vengeance for their loss to Nevada last year...I guess that's news?

*Wisconsin/Nebraska looked good...then the 2nd quarter happened. The Huskers got run over, and Wisconsin has emerged as a potential contender for a national title.

*Auburn upset South Carolina. Stephen Garcia had his 4th straight game with more INTs than TDs. Hard to win like that, even with Spurrier at the helm.

*Texas A&M can't hold onto a lead. That's not really news to anyone who watches college football, but it is worthy of note. A&M hasn't beaten an SEC team since 1995, and they're joining that conference next season. I know things will improve once the Aggies start to play teams lower down the conference ladder, but you still have to think there's some worry in College Station.

*SMU beat TCU at TCU. The Horned Frogs are really far removed from last year's Rose Bowl squad

*Illinois? Still perfect? Heck, beats me, too!

And now, Tales from the Bottom 95

*Penn State just did clip Indiana. I'd say this could be Paterno's last year, but there are sportswriters who wrote that early in their careers who have since died. Paterno's outlived many critics, so I'm not writing anything about his job security. Because I'll almost certainly be wrong.

*Temple followed its beatdown of Maryland with a loss to...Toledo? Heck, I don't know if that's good or bad: Toledo's looked halfway decent this year.

*Wofford beat App State. Just thought I'd put that here for the Boone goons who still think it's 2007.

*In the interest of fairness: A box of kittens could defeat Western Carolina University. This week, however, Furman did the honors, letting the kittens stay home.

*Western Michigan beat UConn. Looooong fall from the top of the Big East thus far for the Huskies.

*Ohio State is feeling the effects of the scandal in full now. Michigan State isn't a slouch team, but losing in the Horseshoe is rough for Ohio State.

*Hawaii had to go to Louisiana Tech this weekend. All apologies to the Warriors.

That's all for this week. Hopefully the next one won't take so long for me to write!

(It will.)

When Sports Journalists Try to Rhyme, No one wins...

Take for example this post at the Sporting News titled "College football teams in line for a decline in '09." (lack of capitalization earns a [sic].)

Now, this article is almost 2 weeks old. So I'm sure on other college football blogs it's already been ripped to shreds. Especially by foaming BC and Arizona fans. But fear not, my peers, I shall take a looksie at it and see what I can see:

First off, Dave Curtis has Rice as his top team to decline this season. Look, while I appreciate the dark horse pick as the "biggest decline" Rice wasn't exactly a headline grabber last season. Heck, they never even got into the inevitable "BCS Buster" conversation. We might look back on this article and go "Wow, Dave Curtis was so right about Rice!" More likely, however, we'll forget this article and Rice and Dave Curtis unless he writes something totally egregious.

Curtis' next pick is Boston College. His logic is pretty good on this one, and I can't really rip him too badly except for one detail: "A first-to-worst fall is in play for BC." So you're telling me BC's going to finish last in a conference that includes Duke, UVa, and NC State? I doubt this very, very highly.

He's picked Texas Tech to plunge, but come on man! With that offense in a league that literally stopped playing defense sometime around 2002...The Red Raiders probably won't be in contention for the Big 12 South thanks to Oklahoma and Texas. But are they going to lose to Houston? Or Baylor? I have a hard time buying into either of those theories.

Arizona...I'll give them this one. Though the PAC-10 still looks mediocre. Yeah, they were undefeated in bowls. I still hate them. What's this post about again? Oh yeah. Some old article. Let's continue...

Utah's been picked to "plunge" which really isn't fair. I mean, yeah, if they lose one game then this season is worse than the last. I'm not sure that warrants a spot on the "decline" list. Maybe it's just me, but I can totally see the Utes dropping 1 game and still making it to a semi-major bowl. They only really have to worry about Oregon, TCU, and BYU.

Matt Hayes's picks look remarkably similar. BC's at the top of his list, probably due to a lack of Matt Ryan.

Tulsa: (See argument on Rice. Replace "Rice" references with "Tulsa" and "Dave Curtis" with "Matt Hayes" and you basically have what I was gonna type here. Yeah, I'm lazy, get over it)

Missouri is poised for a fall thanks to the loss of Chase Daniel (Yeah, I liked him to win the Heisman last year. I was wrong. My apologies. I will not make this mistake again. My 2010 Heisman winner: Matt Ryan). They also lost a whopping 22 seniors. Good luck, Tigers. I think Mr. Hayes might be right on this one.

Guess what? Arizona appears again. Blah de blah de blah. There. It's the same thing as what Dave Curtis typed, only longer and dealing more with the concept that "momentum" somehow carries from December to the next September.

And then comes Minnesota. Now, while I am totally opposed to ever agreeing with a sportswriter about anything...he's right. Minnesota stank last year, but playing teams like Montana State, Florida Atlantic, and Purdue (rim shot) got them into a bowl. Which they lost by 21. Sooooo, let's just say that I'm not going to disagree with Mr. Hayes on this one.

Well that's all for now. Time to get some coffee