Further Super Bowling

If you're reading this, then I've been captured and eaten by cannibals, please send my belongings to President Obama, who, apparently is supposed to be thanked for everything that happens, including Super Bowl victories. Also, if you are reading this, then you know I'm a sarcastic jerk, and we should all just go down a line and try restarting this paragraph.


Ahem...

If you're reading this, then you watched the Super Bowl. You know all about the Steelers, the Cardinals, the commercials that were good, the commercials that were bad, the 3D commercials, and Springsteen's crotch. Given that, would there be a point to reviewing this game?

No, since it's the most watched sporting event there is every single freakin' year.

In fact, the only really egregious thing to me is James Harrison not being tossed from the game for assaulting a Cardinals player. (Well, that and Harrison's 100 yard touchdown run which was impressive. Less so because it featured some holding and a pretty flagrant clip that would have been called on a kickoff or punt return. But, hey, I'm not a Cardinals fan, so whatever.) The NFL needs to crack down on this sort of thing. Fining Harrison will be completely ineffectual. I mean, the man makes how much a year? It's absurd to think that fining him for about a quarter's worth of "work" will do anything to him.

PS to the NFL rules change committee: Change the "roughing" rule. Please. There is no reason Pittsburgh should have gotten 8 tries inside the 10 to score during the 3rd quarter of the SUPER BOWL!

PPS to ESPN: Please fire Rick Reilly, as reading his articles causes me to question if there is justice in the world. If you do not believe me, please watch this video which you have put on your website's own front page.

It is not about the "right team" winning, sir. It's about who scores more points during the game. The only time the "right team" doesn't win is if, somehow, they score more points and don't win the game. I do not care which fan base cares more. If UVa scores more points than Virginia Tech, then the right team wins the game. If Arizona had scored more points than Pittsburgh, then the right team would have won the game! This inane crap about having a good fan base/"family" is utterly bizarre. The Cubs have a great fan base. Does this mean that the "wrong" team has won the World Series every year since 1908?! In conclusion, please, please quit ruining sports journalism. Thank you.

Super Bore!

While I understand that Americans' addiction to football is something that is not new, I really wonder where our priorities as a nation lie when it comes to Super Bowl week. I mean, we are given a feast of college and professional football stories from roughly mid-August to late January. And then...for 2 weeks we're given crumbs.

Why do we have this avalanche of information on the Cardinals and Steelers? There is more unimportant writing out there about these two football programs than a normal human can fathom. Heck, ESPN even spoofs itself on this topic. Mind you, they do that and still shovel this crap down our throats until everyone wants to watch the game for the ads, rather than to see if Kurt Warner can recover from being old, or if Larry Fitzgerald's hair is actually a living organism, or some stupid jargon about the Steelers.

And after that we'll have to wait for several months (and doubtless 7 trillion stories about Michael Vick, Pacman Jones, TO's ego and everything else that's wrong about the NFL) to get more crack, I mean, football into our systems.

On a totally unrelated note, tune in on Sunday for the CFR 24 hour Super Blog! I'm gonna write for 24 hours about the Super Bowl experience in Cullowhee, NC! Isn't that amazingly awesomely great?*






*Answer to this question: No.