Saturday in Review 10/23/10

Back when I started following college football, I realized that most weeks in the sport only featured 1 or 2 upsets of any size. But there was always one week wherein nothing went according to plan and several top 25 teams lost, and those weeks were always the most fun to watch. Fortunately, for those of us who love chaos in the BCS, thanks to the growing parity in college football, now there's 3 or 4 weeks wherein nothing goes according to plan. Need proof? Look no further than this week, which provided 7 ranked teams losing (3 to unranked opponents), and 3 more suffering scares at the hands of inferior competition. This will be a fun one to write! (SIDE NOTE: We're switching to BCS Rankings for the Saturdays in Review from here to the end of the season. Adjust your "This guy's a pompous moron" settings accordingly.)

#1 Oklahoma-27, #11 Missouri-36

Here we have another game that was similar to last week's loss by Ohio State. Namely, we have a #1 team that looked rather hopelessly lost for most of the game, while a plucky upstart school from the same conference shows up in force to bring down Goliath. In this case, the Colossus with feet of clay was the Oklahoma Sooners, who put together one good drive in the first quarter, one good drive in the second quarter, and one good drive in the 3rd quarter. Now, if Oklahoma had a world beating defense, then 21 points on decent drives plus six more at the very end would be enough. Unfortunately, this is the same Oklahoma defense that allowed 24 points to Utah State to start the year. Yes, Utah State is better than they've normally been, but that still doesn't excuse Oklahoma's rather porous defense. The Sooners were lucky to have escaped from the Red River Shootout with a win, and they didn't get lucky again. Oklahoma, however, benefits from being in a pretty bad division. How bad? Well, Baylor is currently leading the Big 12 South. Let that sink in for a bit.

Let's not belittle Missouri, however. The Tigers played an excellent game, and they actually look like competitors for the national title. Mind you, they did back in 2008, too, and we all remember how that turned out. Mizzou and Utah are the quietest of the undefeated squads left, since the remaining undefeateds are (in current BCS order): a traditional SEC power school, an upstart Pac-10 team that scores about 100 points per game, the most famous BCS buster ever, the 2nd most famous BCS buster ever, and a team known primarily for scoring on fake special teams plays and giving its coach a heart attack. Then comes Missouri, then Alabama, then Utah. Missouri can't let up, however, with a game against Nebraska coming up, which has actually become the de facto Big 12 North Championship game, barring something bizarre happening.

#6 LSU-17, #4 Auburn-24

Les Miles finally ran out of black magic in his hat, and LSU finally lost because of it. And it was still close. At least I don't have to use the kitten gag again. Allow me to emphasize once more that LSU is the single luckiest team on the face of the planet, with Auburn possibly coming a close second. Dang it, it's hard to write about a game that was neither a runaway nor particularly interesting. LSU was finally taken down, though they survived most of the land mines in their schedule. What does that mean for those of us who love college football? Well, the way this season's going, we can realistically expect to see LSU in a bowl game. We could also realistically expect to see them wind up in some obscure bowl game after they drop to Alabama, Ole Miss, and Arkansas, and beat UL-Lafayette on a last-second field goal block.

In a related story, who the frick do I cheer for in November 6th's Alabama/LSU game? Seriously, that's a major issue: On the one hand, I hate Nick Saban. On the other hand, I also hate watching teams pull wins out of their butt. Thanks to silly rules, they can't tie, so please write in the comments section whom you feel I should cheer for. Also, Auburn looks to have a pretty clear path to the Alabama game, considering they play Ole Miss (losing record), Chattanooga (1-AA team), and Georgia (mediocre) before the Iron Bowl. But, then again, I've been wrong before...

Air Force-7, #5 TCU-38

Well, this was supposed to be a test for the Horned Frogs. To put it succinctly, it was not. Air Force, like so many schools TCU has played this season, stuck relatively close to the Horned Frogs for a quarter, then got snowed under as TCU yanked away for the remainder of the game. I'm legitimately curious to see the TCU/Utah game in 2 weeks. However, this coming week TCU will be playing UNLV. No, it's not a trap game, and TCU's second team could probably beat the Rebels. So...look for a short review for TCU next week.

#7 Michigan State-35, Northwestern-27

Michigan State narrowly escaped becoming last year's Iowa team by getting out of Northwestern with a win. It seems that the mark of an upstart team is jumping out to a big lead and failing to hold it. NC State pulled the stunt a few weeks ago with Virginia Tech, and Northwestern pulled it this week. The Wildcats aren't nearly as bad as they used to be, but they're still not anywhere in the neighborhood of great. Michigan State stands alone as the lone undefeated in the Big 10, and that may not stick around when they play Iowa this week...

#8 Alabama-41, Tennessee-10

Thanks to the twisted logic of college football, a loss in October means less than a loss in November or December. Look at it this way: Alabama is hovering as the top ranked one loss team. Now, even if South Carolina drops the remainder of their games to make Alabama's loss look as bad as possible, and Oregon, Michigan State, Missouri, and Auburn all drop a game, Alabama will still get taken over either Boise State or TCU or Utah. And when this invariably happens, I shall rend my garments and wail loudly.

Tennessee, meanwhile, is in a massive mess (duh). They're recovering from firing Phil Fulmer and having frat boy Lane Kiffin bail on them. Hopefully the Nazi references (no, that is not a joke, as much as I wish it was) will be the low point for the Volunteers. But methinks there's some troubled times ahead in Knoxville...

Colorado State-6, #9 Utah-59

Utah is a boring state, and teams like Colorado State are the reason that Utah and TCU get no respect. Yes, the top end of the Mountain West is very strong, stronger than the ACC or Big East's top teams. But the bottom end of the MWC is extremely bad, and until they shape up, teams like TCU aren't going to get the respect they deserve based solely on their conference schedule. It's not necessarily right (see also: whoever wins the Big East goes to a BCS bowl, despite the fact that the best possible record a team from the Big Least can have is 10-2) but that's the way it is.

Purdue-0, #10 Ohio State-49

You know, Purdue was 2-0 in the Big 10 coming into this matchup. Mind you, that was against Northwestern (not great just yet) and Minnesota (outright bad), and the Horseshoe is a tough place to win as the road team. I guess that's why Ohio State plays eight (!) home games this season. Explain to me how that's fair! I know teams are entitled to have home field advantage, but no team should have more than 7 home games per season. There really needs to be a rule against this sort of thing, otherwise teams will try and pull it off year after year.

The Big 10 has blessedly become muddled, with Michigan State emerging at the front. Ohio State might be the best team in the conference, but we're forced to accept that as theory, thanks to the Big 10's lack of a title game. In conclusion, there's no good way to evaluate the Big 10 right now, and thanks to their pathetic nonconference schedule we won't really know anything until bowl season. Yes, I know I harp on that a lot. Get over it, and if you're a Big 10 team, try playing some real nonconference opponents and I'll stop complaining.

Washington State-28, #12 Stanford-38

Stanford is decent, and they're probably the best football team in the state of California right now. Wazzu still sucks. It's a long, long way from the days of Ryan Leaf. Then again, that's not entirely bad.

#13 Wisconsin-31, #15 Iowa-30

Oy, I meant to post this on Tuesday, so I'll try and cycle through these last ones quickly. Iowa nearly made Wisconsin join South Carolina as a team that beat #1 then crapped out on the road. Unfortunately for the Hawkeyes, this year's Iowa team isn't that much different from last year's, it's just that this year Iowa isn't catching every single lucky break that they possibly can. So Iowa will wind up finishing in the upper-middle of the Big 10, while Wisconsin looks like a solid pick for 2nd or 3rd, especially since they went on the road and won in Iowa City. Uhhhh...that's all I got.

#16 Nebraska-51, #14 Oklahoma State-41

Thank you, Nebraska. Thank you for saving college football at large from having to hear about the wonders of the Oklahoma State. The Cowboys very nearly pulled the wool over our eyes AGAIN, but fortunately Nebraska allowed us all to realize, "Hey, Oklahoma State's best win is when they beat Texas Tech in Lubbock. And that's not good!"

As for Nebraska, what the heck happened to that vaunted Blackshirt defense? Seriously, you gave up 41 points! If you still had last year's offense, you would have lost! Just something to consider going into this week, when you have to play Missouri: a rival team with a meaningful win under its belt. Good luck.

Washington-14, #18 Arizona-44

Jake Locker continues his Heisman campaign with an amazing 183 yard performance and one touchdown. It must be wondered aloud how the Downtown Athletic Club could possibly consider such unmentionables as Cam Newton, LaMichael James, and Kellen Moore, when Jake Locker is able to bless football fields with the gifts of his presence. Consider this: Jake Locker is on pace to win as many conference championships AND national championships as the Matt Ryan! That fact alone should really make silly things like statistics and win/loss records fly out the window!

Arizona, meanwhile continues to look like the 2nd best team in the Pac-10. Yes, the Oregon State loss was bad, but Arizona's actually looked pretty good in their other games. I guess we'll see how good Arizona is soon; they have a road trip to UCLA, followed by a road trip to Stanford, a game against ineligible USC, a road trip to Oregon, and a home game against Arizona State. Tough times, we'll see if the Wildcats can handle it.

Iowa State-28, #19 Texas-21

Texas really boggles the mind. They looked mediocre for their early games before they got pantsed by UCLA. Then they got beaten by Oklahoma in a thriller and pulled off the upset against Nebraska. Then they lost at home to friggin' Iowa State. Iowa State?! Texas has lost 3 of its last 4 games, and their lone victory in that streak is really starting to look like a major outlier. (Look it up.) It seems that any time Mack Brown loses a high-brow quarterback, the next season his team suffers. See the difference between 2005 (Vince Young) and 2006 (Colt McCoy's first season). So...let's look forward to seeing Texas come back sometime in 2011. This year, look for them to make a low-tier bowl, thanks to games remaining against Baylor (whom they'll upset out of spite), Kansas State (same as Baylor), and Florida Atlantic. They might lose the other two, but at this point no one outside of Austin really cares.

Syracuse-19, #20 West Virginia-14

Oh, Big East. Thank you so much. Thank you for providing the media with a more convenient punching bag than my own personal conference of preference, the ACC. The ACC is not good at football, but you, Big East, you are simply bad. There's something to be said for parity in conferences, but the Big East has a mediocre nonconference record to go with its muddled picture. Pitt, the same Pitt that's 4-3, got smoked by Miami, and lost to Notre Dame, is leading the conference with a 2-0 record. There's a very real chance that the Big East could send a team to a BCS bowl and only have 3 others be bowl eligible. ESPN's Big East blogger released a post on that very scenario today (Wednesday). Read that post, if for no other reason than the comments. It never ceases to amaze me how die hard fans can choose to believe their teams are better than they really are, to the point of altering the fabric of reality. Let's roll on.

#21 South Carolina-21, Vanderbilt-7

South Carolina got back on the right track against a very bad team. It was a conference game, so I can't rip them. Nothing to see here, move along.

#22 Kansas State-42, Baylor-47

Defense optional football. Confusing situations regarding who the actual best team in the conference is. The Big 12 has both of those problems, and it's probably just poetic justice. See, this right here is what should happen to teams that schedule mostly pathetic nonconference opponents.

Honestly, I hope Baylor does win the Big 12 South. It'll take a series of miracles: win at Texas (minor miracle), win at Oklahoma State (major miracle), beat Oklahoma in the season closer (Hand of God Himself). Alternately, they can hope for several losses for their other opponents in the Big 12 South. Either way, Baylor is bowl-eligible and ranked, which might actually be a sign of the apocalypse in and of itself.

Mississippi-24, #23 Arkansas-38

Arkansas has no defense. Mississippi has no team. Moving on.

UAB-24, #24 Mississippi State-29

UAB is probably better than we all thought they were. Yeah, they're 2-5, but they've taken Tennessee to double OT, and only narrowly lost to Mississippi State. Maybe they should move to the SEC. They've hung in about as many SEC games as Vandy thus far...

Duke-7, #25 Virginia Tech-44

Well, feels good to type the Hokies' name up there again, but it's really hard to read anything into Duke games. The most important part for those of us who wear maroon and orange is that this means Frank Beamer's bowl streak is intact. Mind you, if Tech goes into the postseason with 6 wins they'll go to, like, the Music City Bowl. Or one of the many bowl slots that the Big East won't fill. Duke, at least, is still bad. Some habits apparently die hard. And now...

Tales from the Bottom 95

Cincinnati is below .500 over halfway through the season, yet they can still mathematically make a 3rd straight BCS bowl by winning their conference...Penn State beat Minnesota, after which the Gophers' coach was fired...Temple is bowl eligible for the second straight season. Good job Owls!...Hats off to Washington State and Minnesota, the only 2 teams in AQ conferences who are bowl ineligible as of this week...Louisville looks like they might make a very big splash in the puddle that is the Big East, which is impressive due to their sucking the last 3 seasons or so...Clemson hammered Georgia Tech. The Yellow Jackets are a shadow of the team that pretty much dominated the ACC last season. Now that I've typed that, they'll go into Blacksburg and beat Virginia Tech by 40...Georgia has recovered from its bad start to get back to .500. Nice job by the Dawgs...Miami scored 30 unanswered points to beat Carolina 33-10. Tell me the Tar Heels don't miss their defensive players...Hawaii had to go to Utah State. Poor Warriors. Leaving Hawaii in October to go to Utah? That seems unfair. Might explain why they beat the Aggies 45-7...Lastly, Western Carolina lost the Battle for the Old Mountain Jug to archrival Appalachian State this weekend. That's unsurprising, honestly...

That's all for this week. Hope to see you next time!

Oregon vs. UCLA

UCLA-13, #2 Oregon-60

Well, let's not mince words: Oregon's offense is unreal. I mean, if you're looking for an offense that is just plain fun to watch (so long as you're not on the opposing team) then look no further. Right now the 2 of you who willingly slog through my novel-sized Saturdays in Review are saying, "Bones, last week you whined and complained like a pathetic little schoolgirl about the Auburn/Arkansas score because you claim to like 'defensive football.' Now you're telling me that this fifty some-odd point per game offense is 'fun to watch.' You're a hypocrite who uses too many run-on sentences and/or sentence fragments depending on the week!"

Allow me to address these complaints: First off, hi, Mom. Sorry about all of the misplaced commas.

Secondly, I did not say that I don't appreciate a good offense. I just hate watching bad defense. 65-43 is not good offense. It's really just awful defense on both sides' part. Oregon's offense takes good defenses and shreds them. UCLA didn't look bad on defense. Their players were doing everything they needed to, tackling and going to the football with speed and aggressiveness. They were actually tackling for the most part (no team does 100% of the time). The Ducks were just finding holes in the UCLA line, and the game was out of hand by the end of the first half.

I know I'm gonna sound like Lee Corso here as I point out the stupidly obvious, but every defense has holes. It is a physical impossibility for a defense to cover all 53.3 yards of the field's width AND however many yards of the field's length lay between the line of scrimmage and the goal line. The best defenses cover their general area, and they slow down or stop offenses by knocking down passes and tackling running backs as quickly as they possibly can. Unless a defense is playing a team that is utterly inferior to them, they won't hold their opponents to 0 yards or less. It happens, but it's rare. So rare, in fact, that even slaughter games usually feature at least some offense of some sort from the team on the losing end. The Alabama Crimson Tide, for example, have a top-10 defense in terms of points and yards allowed. Yet even lowly Duke scored 13 on the Tide starters in a 62-13 snore fest.

To put it another way, defenses are the equivalent of playing with the black pieces in chess. For you non-chess players out there, black goes second. The black pieces are forced to be reactionary until white makes a mistake and black is able to take the initiative. Defense is, by its very nature, reactionary. The offense determines the style of the game; a triple option offense forces the opposing defense to play differently than they would against a spread. A 4-3 defense does not make a triple option team begin passing the football. Furthermore, a quick offensive change will normally net points or yards and force a defense to make changes, whereas a quick defensive change might net points, but will usually just create a stop or cause a turnover. That's certainly not a bad thing, but it doesn't show up on the scoreboard, which means that the average fan who just looks at scores for teams that he doesn't root for will not really notice it. Even the most mediocre offenses will score (Last place San Jose State scores about 9 points per game), and even the best defenses will allow points (Sheer coincidence: 1st place TCU allows about 9 points per game).

Somewhere in there, there's a point. And that point is that an offense like Oregon's is not remarkable because they score, but because of how much they score. (Duh.) They find holes like no offense I've seen, and in doing so they make the defenses they face look silly. Oregon's backups scored a touchdown in 4 plays on UCLA's starters in the 4th quarter. The Ducks didn't punt until 6:31 in the 4th. Most terrifying of all, the Ducks' defense is good, too. They're not big, but they're quick. Oregon is the front runner in a good Pac-10, but the road is not without pitfalls. Next Saturday's trip to Southern Cal, a game against a good Arizona squad, and the rivalry game with Oregon State are all big games for the Ducks, but there's a very real chance that Autzen's favorite team could play in the National Title game. There's also a chance they wind up in the Holiday Bowl if they lose all 3 of those games, so I guess we'll all just have to wait and see.

Some random notes from the game: Oregon's uniforms are still ugly...UCLA did do one thing offensively: they finally scored on Oregon in the 4th quarter. Mind you, that was against the Ducks' backups, but life's little victories are what keeps us all going...Does it seem cruel to anyone else to make the Duck mascot do pushups for every point?...Why do commentators insist on reminding us that Southern Cal has "found their rhythm?" What sense does that make? Yeah, they've lost 2 of their last 3, but they beat a .500 team in Cal! Southern California: football powerhouse. Give me a break!...And that's it for now. Sorry to any UCLA fans who are offended by their team's 4 mentions in this 900 word article, but if your team had shown up I wouldn't have had to write all about Oregon. Here's looking forward to Saturday!

Saturday in Review 10/16/10

The chill rolls in, the leaves change colors, the pretenders separate from the contenders, and I still sneer and complain about the Big 10's strength of schedule. Gotta love October.

#1 Ohio State-18, #16 Wisconsin-31

Wisconsin jumped out to a 21-0 lead on the Buckeyes, and that is a surefire recipe to get yourself taken out of the game (see Texas v. Nebraska further below). Ohio State looked like the underdog in Madison on Saturday night, and they only ever resembled a #1 team for a brief period in the late third and early fourth quarters, when they held Wisconsin scoreless and pulled within three points of the Badgers. Then they allowed a touchdown and a field goal, which sort of undid all the good done by their little scoring spurt. My point? Well, it's not easy being #1 right now, and thankfully the Big 10 has beaten up on itself handily enough that we don't have to see their representative get clocked in the national title game unless something REALLY weird happens this season. "Get clocked?" you ask indignantly. Yeah, I don't think the Big 10 is prepared to go up against good nonconference competition, especially when you consider that they haven't played any to begin with. No, I do not care what you say about the Oregon/Ohio State game last season. That's the beauty of college football. Last season at this time, Florida looked well on their way to a national title. Now they're a 3 loss team. Things change. (NOTE: Not all things. Our next game proves that.)

#3 Boise State-48, San Jose State-0

A game that isn't really as close as it looks. This one was 41-0 at the half, and Boise State put in their backups for most of the second half. They'll continue to throttle opponents like this for the forseeable future, in a desperate bid to gain a spot in the Top 2 in the BCS. I fully condone and endorse this manipulation of the system, as it might nauseate enough people to get us a playoff.

It really must suck to be San Jose State, considering their schedule dragged them through the wringer, forcing them to play 5 ranked teams in their first 7 games. Add to the mixture that they're one of the worst football teams in the nation, and you have a giant headache for the Spartans, who could realistically go 1-11 considering that they're 1-1 against 1-AA teams this season, and there's no more Southern Utah's on the schedule.

Texas-20, #4 Nebraska-13

Nebraska faced a huge test at home, against a team that looked to be on the downward slide. And they simply didn't pass the test. Honestly, this looked like a flashback of last season's Nebraska team, with the Huskers defense holding up their end of the bargain, whilst the offense looked mostly lost. Texas only gained 69 more yards than Nebraska on offense, but Nebraska sputtered early and never really drove particularly well. No matter what team you play for, giving your opponent a 10-0 head start 5 minutes into the game is not a recipe for success.

Don't let the score fool you, this game probably should have been 20-6 or 20-9 at best for Nebraska. Their lone touchdown came from a punt return, Taylor Martinez looked like a freshman, and Nebraska shot itself in the foot repeatedly as they racked up 94 yards in penalties, many of those at unbelievably crucial times. In short, this wasn't the "perfect storm" that sportscasters so often mention (too much, I might add) but it was a mixture of good preparation in the bye week by Texas, and a few too many mistakes for Nebraska. Sad, as I was hoping to see the Huskers roll into the title game. Still, one less obstacle to Boise State I suppose...

BYU-3, #5 TCU-31

TCU started out relatively slowly in this one, but they eventually got the job done. BYU, however, is a shell of their former selves, and that's something that voters are acutely aware of. Like it or not, TCU will probably lose at least one spot in the rankings this week, simply because they "only" won by 28. It's not right, but apparently TCU and Boise are expected to slaughter opponents to stay in the same place in the rankings, while Auburn squeaking past Kentucky last week by 3 is grounds for them to move up a slot in the polls. Explain, please.

Iowa State-0, #6 Oklahoma-52

Iowa State is the Big 12 equivalent of Duke in the ACC or Vandy in the Big East. The occasional big upset, but normally a punching bag of the top tier teams. Oklahoma is now the front-runner for the Big 12 Championship. So I guess everything old is new again. Disregard whatever moron said that "things change" crap on the Ohio State game.

#13 Arkansas-43, #7 Auburn-65

A major disaster from the defensive perspective. I mean, we're talking a breakdown of epic proportions here. Ryan Mallett getting hurt was pretty much the best defensive play either of these teams made in this game. Since there's not much more to say about the game itself, (I mean, this thing comes out late enough that you'll have had the chance to watch the game on ESPNU during their replays on Monday and Tuesday) allow me to use the remaining space here to rant:

I hate this style of football. High scoring, high flying football just does nothing for me. I think it's because the scoring isn't so much the result of super talented offenses (remember, this is the same Arkansas team that managed a whopping 20 points on the same Alabama team that surrendered 35 to South Carolina the next week) than as a result of poor defense. If you have an offense that can steamroll everyone, fine. I am not going to fault you for scoring 60 some-odd points on a team that, in theory, can't stop you. Boise State, for example, has to do that to even stay competitive. No, my problem is with the defenses. Most of these points can be laid at the feet of poor tackling. Arm tackles do not work. Ever. Michigan lost to App State in part because they thought they could wrap up smaller players with arm tackles. Of the 3 touchdowns Wake Forest scored against Virginia Tech on Saturday, 2 were on long runs that should have been stopped earlier, had the defensive player actually wrapped up his man instead of trying to give him a passing hug. And how many times have you seen a player going for a big hit mistime the strike and let a man through? Or get blocked on his way? It happens frequently at all levels of football. Big hits are unnecessary, they're just nice add ons. I don't care what a defensive stop looks like, I just care that the stop is made.

Let's put this another way: German Admiral Alfred von Tirpitz once said that the primary purpose of a warship is to remain afloat. Well, the primary purpose of a defense is to tackle. Wrap up the legs and you can stop anyone. No, those bone jarring hits that give players concussions and lead to 40 year old former players drooling in their chairs like advanced Alzheimer's patients don't happen. So what? If your team wins a national title by winning every game 14-3, is that any worse than winning every game 42-35? Oh, you'll be labeled "boring" if your defense just tackles instead of sending people to the hospital. WHO FRIGGIN' CARES?! Stop going for big hits or cheap arm tackles and just wrap the man up using your entire body! It's that simple! Either that, or I'm just a cranky old man caught in a 24 year old's body.

Ole Miss-10, #8 Alabama-23

Look, you just read a lot of words up there. So I'm going to keep this one short-ish and vaguely sweet. This surprises no one. I am still of the opinion that Alabama is one of the 4 best teams in the country. Meaning that they'd make the final four if we had a playo--I sound like a broken record, don't I? Any hoo, my one issue here is with the title on the ESPN recap of the game. "Alabama rebounds?" Really? The Tide didn't look that good, and let's not forget that Ole Miss lost to their 1-AA cupcake in their first game this year (Yeah, they didn't even have the (invalid) "we were tired" excuse that Virginia Tech did). So let's not call this a "rebound." "Expected" might be a better word. And Ole Miss...welcome back to reality. We've missed you down here.

McNeese State-10, #9 LSU-32

Until they actually lose a game, I am officially giving up on trying to analyze LSU. This team gives me fits to a degree that you cannot imagine. This is a 7-0 team that's in the Top 10 that should probably be 4-3 and unranked at best. So you know what? In lieu of an LSU review, here is a picture of a kitten.

#10 Utah-30, Wyoming-6

Utah is apparently more boring than Wyoming. How do I draw this conclusion? Simple: Look at the scores. There must be less to do in Utah, because they have time to drill their football team into an elite force around the nation. No, this game wasn't broadcast in North Carolina. I had to put something here, though, but I can't use the kitten gag again.

Illinois-6, #11 Michigan State-26

Illinois had quietly been having a halfway decent season. That's really only from Illinois's perspective. For everyone else it's more of a "Oh, you're .500 halfway through the year? Well, that's better than average. For you." Anyway, that whole "halfway decent season" came to a halt in this game. One wonders whether Illinois is destined for another year with one conference win. Then one actually bothers to look at the schedule and realizes that they have Indiana and Minnesota and they should make it into a bowl. Yeah, I should talk about Michigan State, but what do you want me to say? They seem to be good, but then again, so did Nebraska. So...yeah. Let's move on.

#12 South Carolina-28, Kentucky-31

If you hear a thumping sound coming from the southeast, it's the sound of thousands of South Carolina fans banging their heads against the walls of their local sports bars. Unless you're in Las Vegas. Then you might want to switch hotel rooms.

Sorry, got off topic there. Any hoo, this is one of those games that's a head scratcher. You wonder if South Carolina lapsed this week, or just got lucky last week. Anyway, I apologize to Kentucky.

Oh, and one more thing: WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT LAST PLAY?! 11 seconds left and Spurrier calls his last time out. That I get, but why do you throw a pass with even a risk of an interception? South Carolina's QB should have never thrown a pass unless he saw his receiver standing alone in the end zone waving his arms, helmet in hand, and a sign that said "THROW IT HERE MORON!" in neon lettering. Otherwise, throw it away and kick the field goal. Or, even better, play it safe and kick the field goal. Yes, I admire risky play as much as the next guy, but you're on the cusp of getting perennial punching bag South Carolina declared a national powerhouse. Don't blow it! This isn't NCAA 2011! Moving on...

#14 Iowa-38, #24 Michigan-28

Dear Michigan,

I'll confess that you're not as bad as last year's team. Don't get cocky, last year's team was a 5-7 disaster squad who won all their games against pathetic competition. But with that said, you are an improving football program. Unfortunately, you're still probably the 7th best team in your 11 team conference. Iowa has a decent defense, but your offense was so overhyped and overrated to start the season that it really doesn't surprise the observant among us that you're beginning to fall apart, Michigan. But fear not, Wolverines, you have Penn State, Illinois, and Purdue coming up on the schedule. So you could win 3 more straight before Wisconsin and Ohio State trash you to end the season!

Swarthily,

Bones

PS: Iowa...make up your mind whether or not you suck. Please do so before you play Wisconsin this week.

Boston College-19, #17 Florida State-24

Florida State is, as College Football Cafeteria's own Sloppy Joe put it, a schizophrenic team. They came out and demolished a decent Miami squad last week, and they narrowly skated by mediocre Boston College this week. My prediction for the Seminoles? Either an ACC Championship or a 40 point loss in the Music City Bowl. My prediction for the Eagles? A nice long winter at home in Boston.

#18 Oklahoma State-34, Texas Tech-17

Texas Tech did the right thing by firing Mr. Abuse, Mike Leach. Well, they did the right thing morally. Football wise, it's looking like kind of a disaster. Mind you, Tommy Tuberville will need a year or two to right the ship, but the question is whether or not he'll be given enough time to do it. And Oklahoma State has quietly gone undefeated. I guess the sports media learned from last year's experience of proclaiming them the best team in Oklahoma, then watching them fall apart to a mediocre performance in a mediocre Cotton Bowl. Still, we'll get to meet the real Oklahoma State soon, when they play Nebraska, Kansas State, and Texas in 3 of their next 4 games, followed by the season closer with Oklahoma. So...the Cowboys will finally be tested starting next week.

#19 Missouri-30, Texas A&M-9

Missouri is right there on the list with Oklahoma State of teams that are equal parts untested and undefeated. Missouri gets Oklahoma and Nebraska in coming weeks, so I guess we'll see the real Tigers soon enough. Texas A&M, meanwhile is looking like they might play the spoiler for someone at some point in time. Not sure who, nor am I sure when, but Texas A&M is certainly not going to compete for the Big 12 title. And you can take that absolutely obvious statement to the bank!

#20 Arizona-24, Washington State-7

Wazzu still sucks. Nothing new here. Arizona probably should have beaten them by more. No, I don't have East Coast Bias, there just weren't any games of any interest in the western part of the country thus far in the Top 25. Let's change that...

#19 Nevada-21, Hawaii-27

Now, I've only caught the highlights of this one, so take that as a warning. ESPN is notorious for spicing up their highlights to make it seem like games were either better than they really were or more of a blowout than they really were, depending on the situation (see also, that Alabama article I linked to above). But from what I've seen and from looking at the box score, Nevada's vaunted pistol offense was decidedly mediocre in this game. They did nothing in the first half at all, and they allowed Hawaii a 17-0 halftime lead. Again, not a recipe for success. Do I always repeat myself this much in Saturdays in Review? Yeah, I think I do. Also, Nevada's loss hurts Boise more than anyone else. Here's hoping they don't pull the upset now. That would suck for those of us who hate the BCS...

Mississippi State-10, #22 Florida-7

OK, first off, why was Florida still ranked? Because they had lost to two ranked teams? Is that it? Because that's still dumb. Alabama beat them worse than they did Penn State! Florida doesn't have Tim Tebow any more. Get over it. Lord knows that if the voters don't then the Gators won't. And Florida looks mostly lost when it comes to offense. Mississippi State isn't that good, honest. It's just that Florida is slowly but surely being revealed to be a mediocre SEC team. No shame in that, the SEC is still good, but Florida ain't what they used to be. And I hate to think what this is doing to Urban Meyer's heart...

#23 Air Force-25, San Diego State-27

San Diego State has actually been fairly good this season, losing a close one to Missouri and dropping a controversial decision to the BYU Cougars last week. So it's not that surprising that they pulled off the upset this week. Air Force, meanwhile, couldn't stop the impressive rushing attack of the Aztecs, which kinda makes me wonder how they managed to stop Navy. Whatever it is, they'd best figure out how to stop good offense and good defense quickly, since they'll be going into Fort Worth next week to try and stop TCU. Good luck with that. And now...

Tales from the Bottom 95

Virginia Tech won again, so go Hokies...NC State is looking more and more like a team that had no business ever being ranked, after ECU jumped out to a 21-0 lead and beat the Wolfpack in OT...Washington upset Oregon State in double OT, and good job to Jake Locker again. See? I can be nice. It just doesn't happen often...Clemson won big, so Dabo won't get fired at the end of the season--probably...Georgia crushed Vandy, thereby keeping Mark Richt effigies down to a decent level once again...Rutgers clipped Army in OT, so either Army's getting better, Rutgers is much worse, or both...Carolina beat UVa in a battle of teams I detest. Pity that they couldn't both lose...Florida International has picked up 2 wins in a row. Go Panthers!...Indiana narrowly beat Arkansas State...Western Carolina got crushed by Wofford this weekend...

Aaaaand lastly, Fallout New Vegas comes out this week. So, someone please send an early e-mail, as I probably won't see sunlight between now and Saturday...

Saturday in Review 10/9/10

Sorry this one is so late, so I'll just hit some fairly random points, rather than doing the normal Top 25 rundown. So, without further ado, imagine this as a really long and weirder than average tales from the Bottom 95 which just happens to include more than the Bottom 95. Moving right along:

Alabama's loss to South Carolina wasn't all that surprising. Sure, it's great that South Carolina won, but Alabama is still a darn fine team who just happened to come off of a brutal 3 game schedule. That, and they haven't looked that impressive on the road this season. So it remains to be seen if they can right the ship. Odds says they can, but a one-loss Alabama team should not jump over an undefeated Ohio State or Oregon or Boise State or Nebraska squad. If they do, then I'll be leading the mob that burns down BCS HQ. Because the SEC doesn't look as intimidating as it used to.

Case in point: Florida losing to LSU. Les Miles is the luckiest sonofagun under the sun, and he has proven this for 2 consecutive weeks with narrow escapes, though this one is at least against a decent team. And Florida's orange jerseys suck.

Auburn narrowly escaped Kentucky, so I'm curious as to how good they really are. Maybe Alabama teams just can't play on the road.

Boise State and TCU destroyed their opponents, big freakin' surprise.

Big Top 10 upset: Arizona loses to Oregon State. Not sure what this teaches us. I guess there's parity in the Pac-10, or Iowa was just overrated, or the blind squirrel found an acorn a while back. Either way...that was the major one.

Maybe the lack of road presence in the SEC is contagious, Arkansas barely escaped Texas A&M, narrowly beating an unranked squad from a theoretically inferior conference. No, I don't care about the "12th man" making life hard, if you have trouble on the road against a bad team, Arkansas, then you're screwed on your road trips to Auburn and South Carolina.

Florida State hammered Miami. The ACC continues to depress.

Wisconsin and Minnesota nearly had a fight. I don't care what the card said, coach, you don't go for 2 when you're up by that much. Anyone who tries to defend this decision will get yelled at by yours truly. Minnesota's already bad, and it's not like you were avenging them running up the score on you last season. In fact, unless you're "avenging" the 1990 Wisconsin squad that got beaten 21-3, this was just a flat out classless maneuver.

Dear Michigan,

Told you so.

--Bones

San Jose State played their 4th ranked opponent in 6 games. They did the same thing they did every other time: they lost.

Southern Cal dropped their second straight, though this one was a squeaker with Stanford. Pity that it doesn't matter this year.

Hat goes off to Ohio State who hammered Indiana. Good job, and congrats on your brand new #1 ranking. Now, try playing more than 1 meaningful road game per season.

Bottom 95 stuff: Virginia Tech won again...Tennessee got killed by Georgia, thus keeping the effigies of Mark Richt down to a manageable level this week...Penn State got hammered in Happy Valley by Illinois, so times are dark for JoePa...Clemson dropped one to North Carolina. Seriously looking forward to Dabo Swinney's firing....Florida International won their first game...Navy beat Wake Forest. No one cares...Vandy beat Eastern Michigan, thereby proving absolutely nothing...Cincinnati won the battle with Miami (Ohio), meaning that Miami is officially the worst team in Ohio. I think...New Mexico State beat New Mexico 16-14 in a battle of particularly bad teams...Hawaii actually had to go to a road game. That sucks for them...

A little housekeeping for you...

Just a quick heads up, devoted readers, I've added a series of links to the sidebar. They're above the blog archive, because I generally link the crap out of everything that's new on here, so you needn't worry about missing something. If you have a personal favorite article, a recommendation for the Q&A, or you think the links I posted suck, please comment below or send an e-mail.

Thank you for your participation in my borderline psychotic egotistical writing.

Thursday in Review?

...I know, what the heck? Still, some things do bear mention after tonight's throttling of Kansas State by Nebraska:

#6 Nebraska-48, Kansas State-13

OK, I'm very tempted to say that this game proved something, but it really doesn't. Nebraska, right now, looks like the favorite in the Big 12, but the Big 12 has been a very underwhelming conference of late. Don't get me wrong, I like Nebraska, but I'm totally unsure of how well they'll fare against the best teams on their schedule. Nebraska's nonconference schedule was pathetic. Their upcoming game with Texas was supposed to be a big proving ground, but now it's a matchup between a Top 10 team and an unranked opponent. Rankings wise, the best two teams on Nebraska's schedule are Oklahoma State and Missouri, neither of whom were even ranked to start the season! In other words, Nebraska is basically the same as last year's Texas team...

I'm really not sure what to make of Nebraska. They're not a bad football team by any stretch of anyone's imagination, and Taylor Martinez is a quick and agile quarterback who has been slashing up defenses with ease. Of concern, however, is the fact that Nebraska won't face a good defense this season. Texas has an adequate defense, but their offense is so anemic that it will be a major upset for the Longhorns to knock off the Huskers.

In short, Nebraska, of all the major conference teams, has the easiest path to going undefeated up to its championship game. Note that's not much of an accomplishment: the Big 10, Pac-10, and Big East don't have championship games, the ACC has no undefeated teams, and the SEC is good (unlike the Big 12). Also note that I'm not saying Nebraska will go undefeated, or that Alabama is doomed to fail. I'm merely saying that the current system rewards being the lone decent team in a major conference (See also: Southern Cal 2002-2007). So, Nebraska remains an enigma. Are they a powerhouse waiting to explode on the national scene? Or are they a team that's set up to get pantsed in the Big 12 Championship game/National Title game? Time, as is so often the case, will tell.

After all the intrigue surrounding Nebraska, Kansas State is easy: They're mediocre. Have been for a few years now.

See you guys for the Saturday in Review!

Saturday in Review 10/2/10

Hard nose football? Improbable comebacks? Les Miles relying virtually entirely on luck to escape from an inferior team? Must be Saturday...

#7 Florida-6, #1 Alabama-31

Well, take from this one what you will. Either Alabama's as good as advertised, Florida was (and is) grossly overrated, or both. I mean, this was a demolition, and it came quickly and unrelentingly. As a matter of fact, I have trouble remembering the last time a Top 10 team was so convincingly mangled by an opponent. Oh, wait, no I don't. Florida probably looks back to the Sugar Bowl fondly, because this team is a mere shadow of its former self. No Dunlap, no Cooper, no Tebow, etc., etc. It'd be fair to say that Florida this season has the same arrest record as their old teams, but half the talent.

Florida/LSU this week is going to be a mediocre game between mediocre teams, and after watching this one and the Tennessee game, I am just about convinced that Alabama won't face another realistic test until Auburn comes to town in November. Mind you, that Georgia State game they've scheduled could be a trap...(NOTE: That was a joke, sort of like Alabama's nonconference schedule.)

#2 Ohio State-24, Illinois-13

Well, Ohio State finally got to use some of their transportation budget. Honestly, I figured that they could pull the wool over our eyes for a bit longer and make it all the way to November before they actually played a road game. But no, reality finally set in for the Buckeyes, and they were forced to go all the way to Illinois, a team that won the conference in 2007 and has won 5 conference games since then. And the result? A very close game, with the Buckeyes narrowly escaping Illinois with a win. Ohio State could very easily go undefeated, so long as Terrelle Pryor stays healthy, and they could go to a National Title game, but I really hope that they don't. The Big 10 hasn't proven anything this season, and they won't really be able to until the postseason comes around. I went into lengthy detail on that topic last week, so I won't do it this week, but it really is something to think about. Ohio State is almost certainly the best team in the Big 10, but there's a huge part of me that hopes they lose at least one game so that Boise or TCU or Oklahoma or Oregon or Nebraska or someone who's not from the frickin' Big 10 goes to the title game. Because, mark my words, if the National Title game comes down to Alabama vs. Ohio State, the Crimson Tide could win by 30.

#3 Boise State-59, New Mexico State-0

Boise State's upcoming schedule looks like this: Toledo, San Jose State, Louisiana Tech, Hawaii, Idaho, Fresno State. After that they play Nevada, which should at least be a decent game, but my point is that you'll be seeing a whole lot of scores like this for the next 6 weeks, thanks to the ludicrous concept of "style points." Yes, I agree that a close game for Boise State could be disastrous for their national title chances, but who cares if they beat New Mexico State by 35 or 59? I have seen many 14 point games that were "closer than they looked," but I doubt that anyone has ever seen a 5+ touchdown game that was "closer than it looked." If any voter excludes Boise State from the National Title game because they "only" beat New Mexico State (or any of the other teams listed above) by 59, then they're just as big of an idiot as someone who won't give Mark Ingram the Heisman because he didn't participate in the murder of San Jose State. Punishing Boise State for their conference schedule is on an equal plane of stupidity for rewarding Ohio State for their nonconference schedule. If 59 point wins are what it takes for Boise State to get a crack at the ugly crystal football, then I (and most of America, I'd wager) hope that they win all their remaining games in this manner. Even though it will be really, really boring to write about week in and week out...

#13 Stanford-31, #4 Oregon-52

I'm not sure if you knew this, but Stanford jumped out to a 21-3 lead and then blew it. Oregon's offense is disturbingly hard to keep down, since Stanford was able to do so for one quarter and then allowed 7 touchdowns in the remainder of the game. Oregon's offense hung up over 600 yards, and their defense (which is badly overshadowed by their offense) looked very, very good in the second half. Yes, the Pac-10 is good, but Oregon looks like they're the cream of the crop in that conference. I'll say it right now: if the season comes down to undefeated Alabama, Ohio State, Oregon, and Boise State, I want to watch an Alabama/Oregon national title game over any other. (All Ohio State and Boise State fans, remember that when you make your effigy, I am tall and skinny and somewhat flammable.)

#5 TCU-27, Colorado State-0

TCU struggled a wee bit in the first half, and I think it's fair to say that they're the lesser of the 2 big BCS busters. True, TCU is still undefeated, and they have a realistic shot at winning the MWC, but since the Mountain West is all-but certainly tougher than the Big East and the ACC, there's also the real shot that TCU loses. Honestly, it might be best if TCU were to lose. That way the BCS couldn't pull the same garbage they did last season and shoehorn the 'Busters where they might go out and embarrass one of the cash cows. So start up the campaign now: either TCU and Utah take one for the team and let Boise in as the only BCS Buster this season, or get a letter writing campaign going to let TCU and Boise play AQ teams in the BCS, not one another. Decide now.

#16 Texas-20, #8 Oklahoma-28

Last week's Saturday in Review was long, and this one is going to be going up late. Let's just hit the high points and see if this thing can get posted by Wednesday morning: First off, while I love the Coaches' Poll, why did they have Texas ranked 16th? Even before this game, Texas had looked underwhelming at best, and Virginia Tech-level overrated at worst. The loss to UCLA last week was as crippling to the whole Big 12 as it was to Texas, and the fact that Texas and Oklahoma played one another closely in their annual de facto Big 12 South championship game is indicative of parity in the conference which might or might not be a good thing, when you consider that the Big 12 looked pretty dang bad during the last week of nonconference play. Oklahoma's had some close ones, but the remainder of their schedule is against a group of teams that's so mediocre (or outright bad) that they're now the prohibitive favorite to go to the Big 12 Championship game, which should be against Nebraska. Then again, we don't really know that much about Nebraska, either. Texas will play them after a bye week, and we'll see just how long this Longhorn tailspin lasts on October 16th.

#9 Wisconsin-24, #21 Michigan State-34

Wisconsin hasn't looked like a Top 10 team all season. Sure, Michigan State's playing inspired, but Wisconsin has beaten only one team convincingly--and that was 1-AA Austin Peay. I sincerely hope that this is phase one of the Big 10 beating up on itself, because the conference deserves nothing better after playing the shabbiest nonconference schedule this side of the Big East (see last week's tirade for more details). Michigan State's rivalry game with Michigan this week should expose one of the two teams as a false contender, but who will wind up exposed is anyone's guess. (Spoiler alert: I really hope it's the Wolverines.)

Tennessee-14, #10 LSU-16

I am legitimately surprised at how many people hate Les Miles. I don't like the guy, but outright hatred is rarely seen for a coach who has been as successful at his job as Coach Miles. Then games like this happen and everyone is reminded why the fans hate Les Miles. His clock management skills are on par with those of a hobo who can't tell time. Pat Forde of ESPN did an excellent spot about this in his weekly column, so I'd advise reading it. Forde gets paid to write, so he does it quite a bit better than I do. Read that then come back here.

OK, you're back. Good. Tennessee needs to work on counting, while LSU needs to come up with an even semi-competent offense, especially since they face Florida on the road next week, followed by cupcake McNeese State, followed by Auburn and Alabama back to back. Don't look for LSU to get out of that run any better than 2-2, and don't be surprised if they emerge 1-3 from that four game stretch, firmly placing themselves in 4th in the SEC West.

Louisiana-Monroe-3, #11 Auburn-52

No, I will not review this, thanks.

#17 Miami-30, Clemson-21

First off, notice how few Top 25 teams were playing this week. It was like everyone's scheduling committee decided to take a break at the same time. I guess the first week of October is just as good a time as any, considering that the real swing of things gets going during this month. Miami's had a year that's tough to define: they've only played one ranked team and looked fairly mediocre in the process. But they looked good against the teams they've beaten, though none of those teams are currently ranked. So, Miami is one of the myriad teams in need of an identity as we close in on the halfway point of the season. Beating (admittedly overrated) Florida State convincingly this week would go a long way to proving Miami is a legitimate team, and they still look like the best the ACC has to offer (again, an almost meaningless statement)

Clemson, meanwhile, is a team that still struggles to find legitimacy in the weird world of college football. Mark my words, another year with no national championship, and the lunatic fringe at Clemson will begin calling for Coach Dabo Swinney's job. Is it right? No. Is it likely? Highly. Because, hey, the team hasn't won a championship since 1981 (and were cheating then) but that's just because Swinney can't coach, right? (Yes, this sounds crazy, but remember that this is the school that fired a coach who led them to 8 straight winning seasons because he was 3-3 at the time. Must be fun to coach there.)

#20 Penn State-3, #18 Iowa-24

Well, turns out that Penn State really isn't that good. At all. Like, their offense is a nonentity. At time of writing they're 100th in terms of points scored. Even with a good defense, you're not going to win many games that way. And when you remove the Alabama game, Penn State's nonconference schedule consisted of Youngstown State, Kent State, and Temple. Considering that none of the teams I just listed are powerhouses, Penn State's offense could very easily get worse now that they're entering their conference schedule...

Iowa, on the other hand, is with Miami in the club of teams with no real ID thus far. They lost to their lone good opponent, but they've beaten their other foes (including a conference foe now) handily. So...let's just see how things go for the Hawkeyes in the coming weeks. Not this week, though, since they have a bye.

#19 Michigan-42, Indiana-35

Dear Michigan,

You came so very close to getting exposed this week. I really hoped that it was going to happen this week, but it will have to wait at least one more. You're not as good as you think you are, Michigan, and your conference schedule will prove it. I'd write longer, but I'd just repeat myself. We'll save any actual analysis for the Michigan/Michigan State game this week.

Sincerely,

Bones

#25 Nevada-44, UNLV-26

Nevada needs to keep climbing in the rankings. They have to stay undefeated. Why? Choose your own ending to this post! If you root for Boise, read sentence 1. If you're anti-Boise or a Nevada fan, read sentence 2! If you work for the BCS, then read sentence 3.

Sentence 1: Because that way, when Boise clocks them in November, the win will be more impressive!

Sentence 2: Because that way, when they beat Boise, they'll take the BCS and prove to everyone that there are other good non-AQ teams out there.

Sentence 3: Because that way, when they beat Boise, then lose to Louisiana Tech, while the MWC beats up on itself then we can get an all major conference final featuring Alabama/Ohio State, which is what we wanted back in August.

Hope you enjoyed the choose your own adventure, but there's only one place to go from here. It's time for...

Tales from the Bottom 95

First off, congrats to Virginia Tech for beating a ranked opponent, and ensuring that the ACC will, yet again, have no undefeated teams...Also congrats to Washington, who've had Southern Cal's number the past two seasons. Thank you for finally putting a thorn in the Trojans' paw. Let's hope they keep losing...In a similar vein, apologies to Jake Locker, who actually looked very impressive in a road game!...BYU's in a tailspin or Utah State's actually decent, take your pick...UConn beat Vanderbilt. Not sure if that means anything to anyone...Baylor crushed Kansas, and Turner Gill's inaugural season as Jayhawks head coach is turning fairly nightmarish...Northwestern beat Minnesota to stay undefeated...Tulane defeated Rutgers. Go Green Wave!...Air Force is halfway to the Commander-in-Chief's trophy, and I doubt they'll have much trouble toppling Army...Mark Richt is going to be in serious trouble in Georgia after starting 1-4...Texas Tech is looking rough. Must be concentrating too much on their fat little girlfriends...Georgia Tech narrowly clipped Wake Forest. Once again, the ACC is a dogfight...San Jose State lost to 1-AA UC Davis. The bottom's officially out for the Spartans...Notre Dame beat Boston College in the battle of Catholic colleges...Hawaii beat Louisiana Tech, but I'm glad that the Bulldogs got a trip to Hawaii...

That's all for this week. See you later!

Saturday in Review 9/25/10

Another wonderful Saturday here in college football land, complete with a major upset that no one called, the #1 team in the nation surviving a big road test, and the Big 10 proving nothing by playing no one. Let's review, shall we?

#1 Alabama-24, #11 Arkansas-20

Well, first off, I take back what I said about Arkansas: they proved their mettle in this game. No, they didn't pull off the upset, but they're the first team to give Alabama a decent game this season. The Tide ran over San Jose State, clobbered Penn State, and smacked around Duke before being forced into a real fight at Arkansas. Alabama looked extremely flat in the first half, scoring just one touchdown and requiring the best efforts of their defense to hold off a hard charging Arkansas offense. Unfortunately for the Razorbacks, Alabama's super evil coach, Nick Saban, worked his dark arts at halftime and somehow scooted his team across with a win. Every team requires some luck and/or a comeback to go undefeated in a season, and Alabama survived a very big scare today. A tough game like this, however, isn't the ideal way to start your conference schedule, and Alabama has a murderous set of games in the coming weeks with a home stand against top 10 ranked Florida and a road trip to a better-than-average South Carolina team. Even though Alabama is better than Florida or South Carolina, Florida will be coming off of an easy win against Kentucky, and South Carolina gets a bye. So if there's going to be an upset of Alabama, look for it in the coming weeks.

In Heisman news: Ryan Mallett looked good for the first three quarters, but he threw 2 interceptions in the 4th. Mark Ingram returned from his injury last week with a warmup against Duke, then showed that he's still got it against a legitimate foe. If Ingram puts up these kind of numbers (157 yards, 2 TDs) against 'Bama's other opponents this season, then he should win the Heisman again, regardless of whether or not he missed the games against San Jose State and Penn State. Mind you, he does have Jake Locker to contend with. Heck, Locker didn't throw any interceptions this week! (<-Cheap shot) Let's move on to a game that's barely even worthy of attention...

Eastern Michigan-20, #2 Ohio State-73

Part one in a series: A whole lot can be said about the ACC and Big East. Stick with me, I'm going somewhere with this. The two conferences named above are mediocre at best. They have won practically no big nonconference games this season, and between the two of them they have one remaining undefeated team (NC State). But the ACC and Big East are at least willing to play ranked teams and road games during their nonconference schedules. The lone Big 10 team to beat a ranked opponent are these Ohio State Buckeyes, who defeated Miami in week 2 at home. The only other Big 10 teams to even play a ranked foe are Penn State, Iowa, and Minnesota, who lost to Alabama, Arizona, and Southern Cal respectively. Missouri is currently ranked, and they beat Illinois, if you'd like to add them (Illinois) to the list. No matter how you slice it, the Big 10 is doing college football a major disservice with its garbage nonconference schedule. Out of sheer vindictive glee, I will now list the Big 10's nonconference foes, in no particular order, courtesy of this article:

UConn, Notre Dame (3 times), UMass, Bowling Green, Eastern Illinois, Iowa State, Arizona, Ball State (2 times), Marshall, Miami (Florida), Ohio, Eastern Michigan (who haven't won a game since November 2008), UNLV, San Jose State, Arizona State, Austin Peay, Middle Tennessee State, South Dakota, Southern Cal, Toledo, Northern Illinois (2 times), Youngstown State, Alabama, Kent State, Temple, Western Illinois, Western Michigan, Florida Atlantic, Northern Colorado, Missouri, Southern Illinois, Fresno State, Vanderbilt, Illinois State, Rice, Central Michigan, Towson, Western Kentucky, Akron, Arkansas State.

So you know what? If you're a Big 10 fan, you have no right to mock the Big East or the ACC. (Except Virginia Tech. They're my team, but they lost to James Madison, so they still deserve the mockery. Unless you're a Michigan fan.) I hope the conference beats up on itself and winds up sending Minnesota to the Rose Bowl.

No, I didn't analyze the game. Look at the friggin' score. And prepare for more of this down in the Wisconsin review...

Oregon State-24, #3 Boise State-37

If you're still here, you've been through a lot. Which is sad, because there's so very much more to go. This game was played up on the blue turf in Boise, and the Broncos used a strong first half to keep Oregon State at bay. Continuing a theme from the novella about the Big 10 that I wrote above, why isn't Boise State the #2 team in the country right now? What has Ohio State done in the 4 weeks that encompass the 2010 season that merits a #2 ranking other than being ranked #2 to start the year? The answer is: nothing. Boise State has beaten 2 ranked teams and slaughtered Wyoming. Ohio State has beaten a single ranked team and destroyed 3 vastly inferior foes. Boise State crossed the country to play their season opener, while Ohio State hasn't left Columbus yet. And, yeah, Virginia Tech lost to a 1-AA foe the next week, weakening Boise's strength of schedule, but at least they (the Hokies) have won 2 games since then. Ohio State's nonconference foes have a combined 4 wins in the 4th week of the season.

I know this is a whole lot of conjecture, and now is as good a time as any to say that I don't think either of these 2 teams is the second best in the country. Look at their opponents: Oregon State's played 2 good teams and lost close games to both, Virginia Tech obviously had their disaster in week 2, and Miami hasn't really played anyone aside from Ohio State, considering that The U's best win is against a Pitt team that looks increasingly underwhelming. Inquisitive readers who are still awake despite all of this reading are now asking, "Well, Mr. Smartypants blogger, who is the 2nd best team in the country?" And my cop out answer is, "I don't know." That's why the season is 12 games long, not 4. If I had to pick a team, I'd say Oregon or Nebraska. Mind you, my support is often the kiss of death. To that end...

UCLA-34, #4 Texas-12

Remember last week, when I said that Texas was going to demolish UCLA? Well, I owe the Bruins an apology. This doesn't look like the same team that spent its first two weeks getting tossed around the field by Kansas State and Sanford. The Bruins beat Houston last week (still not much of an accomplishment since Houston can't play defense) and then came out and beat Texas this week. I'm still not sure how to read UCLA, and I think that their upcoming games with Washington State and Cal should tell us much more about UCLA. Note that they do desperately need to improve their passing attack, which currently sits comfortably at 117th in the country, behind triple option teams like Air Force and Navy. So keep a wary eye on UCLA, and the Pac-10 in general, since the conference on the left coast actually looks good this season.

Then there's Texas. Actually, then there's the Big 12. The Big 12 has been largely shielded from criticism this season because of the mediocrity/awfulness (depending on the week) of the Big East and the ACC. But with Texas struggling against Rice, Oklahoma struggling with Utah State, Kansas losing to North Dakota State, and Nebraska struggling this week with South Dakota State, you kinda figured that this sort of thing was coming. Texas had 5 turnovers in this game, with 4 of those being fumbles. That's not a good recipe to win, and neither is letting the other team have the ball for 11 minutes more than you have it. All 13 of UCLA's first half points were off of turnovers, and it's telling when that score would have been enough points to beat Texas for the entire game. About half of the Big 12 is done with their nonconference schedules, so we probably won't see too many more nonconference upsets out of the Big 12, but keep this game (and the others listed above) in mind when bowl season rolls around.

#6 Oregon-42, Arizona State-31

Oregon's offense was held to its lowest point total this season. Let that sink in for a second, 4 games into the season the lowest number of points this team has scored is 42. Now, I was going to put something on here about Oregon having a video game style offense, but since I've been beaten to that punch by every other college football writer on the planet, I'll just make a note here. NOTE: Those 42 points are impressive, but take note that 2 of the touchdowns on Oregon's side came from the defense. So, while Oregon can still score points with the best of them, they needed the defense's help to do so. Oregon could well run the table in the Pac-10, but if they have to play a team with a good defense in the National Title game, things could get ugly for the Ducks. Should be one heck of a game between Oregon and Stanford next week...they might combine for 100+ points.

South Dakota State-3 (sorry, don't know the colors), #7 Nebraska-17

Nebraska survived a scare at home against a team that had no business being in the game with them. Judging from Coach Bo Pelini's quote after the game (specifically, "[Y]ou have to have consistency. For us to show up like that at home, I'm embarrassed.") I would not want to be on the Nebraska Cornhuskers when practice time comes around on Monday. Hats off to the Jackrabbits for sticking with the Cornhuskers in what might be the most unique matchup of mascots this whole season. Why no, this game wasn't broadcast here in North Carolina, how did you guess?

Kentucky-14, #8 Florida-48

Well, Florida finally looked dominant in a game this season after starting out flat in their first 3. Which is good for the Gators, since they have to go to Alabama this coming week, in what should be a heck of a game. Do not mistake Trey Burton's performance as anything more than an aberration right now, since he delivered this hammering to a team that is not, in fact, very good at all, and is outright mediocre on defense. Kentucky, meanwhile, had its first test this season--and they failed miserably. Don't look for the Wildcats to do much against the SEC this season, though they do have the opportunity to finally break that 26 year losing streak to Tennessee.

PS: Here's a Chris Rainey legal proceedings update. Why? Because the readers of this blog need to know that "Time to Die" isn't a good phrase to text to their girlfriend. Or anyone for that matter.

#9 Oklahoma-31, Cincinnati-29

Another case of the Big 12 looking bad. Yes, Cincinnati is the 2 time defending Big East champions, but their lone win on the season is Indiana State. So Oklahoma, were they actually the 8th best team in the land, should have gone in, taken a relatively easy win, and gotten out. Instead, the Sooners should consider themselves lucky to have escaped from Cincinnati with a win, especially considering their lackluster performance in the 4th quarter. Texas and Oklahoma may have both been revealed as paper tigers this week, though it would be refreshing to see Texas beat Oklahoma next week and eliminate either of those two teams from the national title hunt. Come on, people, we need some new blood in the title game! The SEC has to be tired of just beating Big 12 teams...

Austin Peay-3, #10 Wisconsin-70

Part 2 in a series: ...The saddest part of this entire affair is that the Big 10 is emerging from a time when they were considered as bad as the ACC or Big East. Remember the 2008 and 2007 bowl seasons? In 2008 the Big 10 went 1-6. They were the laughing stock of college football. The only team with a worse record in bowls than the Big 10 was the MAC. 2007 wasn't much better, with the Big 10 going 3-5 and finishing worse than the MWC, SEC, Pac-10, Big 12, and Big East. And the theme of the Big 10 being worse than their rankings indicated all started back in 2006 with Ohio State getting crushed by Florida in the '06 championship game. So the Big 10 has been looked down upon by most football fans and pundits for a few years. And then...

In 2009, the Big 10 had sort of a renaissance. Sure, they only went 4-3 in the postseason, but that was their first winning bowl record since 2002, and 2 of those wins came in the BCS! Every ranked Big 10 team won, and there were no blowouts of Big 10 teams. The conference looked like it was back on track, and this season looked like the year that the likes of Michigan and Ohio State and Iowa could return to national prominence. And then, in the first few weeks of the season, the Big 10 leadership gives us garbage like this. How does slaughtering pathetic nonconference foes prove anything? Congrats, you defeated an obscure school in Tennessee that is most famous for its chant of "Let's go Peay! Let's go Peay!" So, yes, congratulations, your team defeated no one. Just like every other major Big 10 school...

#21 West Virginia-14, #12 LSU-20

It's looking like the Big East won this week's award for worst conference. Sure, the ACC is nothing to write home about, but at least they'll have a ranked team in next week's poll. West Virginia, at least in my independent and mostly uneducated evaluation, is still the best team in the Big East. Of course, that's like being voted "most beautiful" in a competition where the only other contestants are Buster Keaton and Rod Brind'Amour.

LSU looked underwhelming again, and it's really hard to imagine them beating Florida, Auburn, Alabama, or Arkansas. At least they have 'Bama at home, the other 3 they have to play on the road, so I hope that the Tigers enjoyed this little unbeaten streak. It will likely end on October 9 in Gainesville...

San Jose State-3, #13 Utah-56

Am I the only one who thinks that San Jose State's football team should burn their scheduling committee in effigy? They've had to play 3 ranked teams in 4 weeks, which is something that even AQ conference teams have trouble doing. The Spartans lone win has come against their cupcake Southern Utah, a team they narrowly defeated 16-11 last week. Mind you, whoever did the Spartans' schedule also had some bizarre form of schizophrenia, considering that they scheduled 5 nonconference games: 3 are against Top 25 teams, and 2 are against 1-AA (I still don't use the terms FBS or FCS) teams. Who scheduled this? And why? Don't look for San Jose State's record to improve too much, since they still have to play strong conference foes Nevada and Boise State. Congrats to Utah, a team which still exists in a boring state. Don't look for them to suffer much adversity until (as stated last week) they have back to back tough contests with Air Force and TCU.

#15 South Carolina-27, #14 Auburn-35

First off, I direct you to quickly click here, provided you read this before October starts. That's our predictions page on College Football Cafeteria. Notice who the only one to pick this one was. (Sorry, just had to brag. I'm rarely the only one who's right about something. Less so, now that I'm married.)

Also notice that, according to the coaches poll, this wasn't technically an upset. South Carolina still struggles with beating ranked teams, and their one win over a ranked squad came against Georgia, a team that looks less and less intimidating as the weeks roll by and the Bulldogs stay winless in the SEC. As is usually the case with SEC teams, I just can't see either of these two making many waves in a conference that contains Alabama and Florida. Auburn's got the inside track to make waves in the conference, however, as they face no road challenges until a season ending matchup with rival Alabama. But I said that last week. So let's quickly finish this nearly 3,000 word document up...

California-9, #16 Arizona-10

Well, this one was nearly an upset. Cal never could mount a competent offense (kinda like last week), and Arizona suffered a letdown after its big win against Iowa last week, but they squeaked by with a very late score. Cal could very easily turn into a Pac-10 punching bag this season, since they're struggling to mount an offense in a high-powered offensive conference. while it's hard to see Arizona beating Oregon. The Wildcats don't play any ranked teams until late in the season, when their schedule's difficulty curve takes a hard left turn at Crazyville. After playing 1 ranked team in the first 8 games of the year, they then have 3 straight ranked teams to close the year. So don't look for much of interest (barring an upset) coming out of Arizona until November.

#17 Stanford-37, Notre Dame-14

So, anyone want to tell me that Notre Dame is back? Anyone other than Lou Holtz? Seriously, how is it that Charlie Weis had top 25 recruiting classes every year and yet Notre Dame seems incapable of finishing in the top 25? Or even cracking the top 25. Stanford seems to have no trouble scoring, and everyone's making a big deal over Owen Marecic and his scoring a touchdown on defense and on offense. I'd make a bigger deal over the fact that Stanford looks like they could be a force in the Pac-10. Stanford could, however, be a paper tiger, since they have yet to play a ranked team. Guess the game with Oregon will prove it one way or t' other. (<-Southern slang.)

Ball State-0, #18 Iowa-45

Part three in a series: ...And the real problem with the Big 10's nonconference schedule is that no one made a big deal of it until this week. It's like it just came out of the blue for all of us all of a sudden. But we've all known about this for quite some time, it's just that none of us thought, "Gee, it's unfair that the Big 10 plays no one in its nonconference schedule except for a few home games and one trip to Arizona. It seems that if any one team can make it through the conference undefeated, they'll have the fast track to the national title game." But no, here we are, 1/3rd of the way through the season and the Big 10 has 6 undefeated teams because 5 of those teams have played no one! Not one ranked team! So don't let anyone tell you that the Big 10 is doing well, they just have the most favorable schedule known to man. There's no reason to think that the Big 10 is anything more than a giant hoax at this point. And no, I didn't review this one either...

Temple-13, #20 Penn State-22

Part four in a series:...I guess the Big 10 does this so more of its teams can get into bowl games, because Penn State would have lost this game if they were playing virtually any team in an AQ conference. Way to go, Big 10. Your strategy paid off...

Bowling Green-21, #22 Michigan-65

Part five, in letter form:

Dear Michigan,

Congrats, you look like you'll be climbing into the top 20 this coming week. I guess that's an accomplishment. I mean, it's difficult to pull the wool over this many voters' eyes on a consistent basis. You did it last season, and if history teaches us anything, it's the repetition of patterns. "Sudden breakout", rising into the top 20 under the high powered attack of their star breakout quarterback. Sound familiar? It should. Denard Robinson, like Tate Forcier, has looked awesome against inferior foes. The Big 10 has proven so little in the nonconference portion of the season, though, that this could be a wide open year. So enjoy whatever the future holds, Michigan. I myself hope you miss a bowl again, just to see history repeat itself and Rich Rodriguez kicked out. After all, I know the state of Michigan is down and out and needs some inspiration, and they can find a much more inspiring story in the form of your rivals, Michigan State. And, yes, I hope you choked a little when you read that, Wolverine fans...

Sincerely,
Bones

Northern Colorado-7, #23 Michigan State-45

...I guess I won't rip Michigan State too much, but they're just as guilty as any of the other Big 10 schools above of weak scheduling. Indeed, the only reason that they're not getting attacked by the media (or me) as much as the rest of their conference is because of Coach Mark Dantonio's heart attack. We're all glad that Coach Dantonio is feeling better, but come on Michigan State! Play someone in your nonconference schedule! As I believe we've established in previous weeks, no, Notre Dame doesn't count.

Miami (Ohio)-13, #24 Missouri-51

The lone Big 12 team that looked good this week was Missouri, a team I mocked last week as fairly mediocre. I guess I kind of take that back. I mean, they beat Miami of Ohio by 16 more points than Florida did. Take that for whatever the heck it's worth. And now...

Tales from the Bottom 95

Virginia Tech is back to .500. I certainly didn't think I'd be typing that in week 4...NC State took the dominant lead in the ACC, and they'll be hosting Virginia Tech this week. If they beat the Hokies, there's no reason to think that NC State won't be Orange Bowl bound come January...Maryland struggled early with FIU, which isn't a good sign for the Terrapins...Tennessee needed double OT to beat UAB. I guess they were tired after the Florida game. Or they're just not that good...Army beat Duke to go to 3-1. Congrats to the Black Knights, who are halfway to a bowl!...Wake Forest apparently doesn't have a defense, since Florida State shut them out while dropping 31 on the Deacs...Georgia's only win is over Louisiana-Lafayette, which isn't good for the health of Mark Richt's career...Ole Miss pulled to 2-2 by beating Fresno State...Syracuse is 3-1. Unfortunately, they're 1-1 against actual other 1-A teams...Northwestern is still undefeated, but the best team they've beaten is probably Central Michigan...Toledo knocked off Perdue, so take that Big 10!...Nevada's still undefeated. Let's hope they can make Boise's otherwise mediocre conference schedule stronger and boost the Broncos upward...Marshall won by beating Ohio...Hawaii beat Charleston Southern, though I'm unsure who paid for the trip from South Carolina to Hawaii...

That's all for this week. Congrats if you made it. I surely wouldn't have...

Saturday in Review 9/18/10

Well, this is convenient for me. A day with practically no upsets and several games that qualify in the outright murder category. Guess it's time to get down to it...

#1 Alabama-62, Duke-13

Look, it can be argued that this made the ACC look bad, but the best team in the SEC (and, until proven otherwise, the country) beating the worst (or one of the worst) teams in the ACC really isn't headline news. Mark Ingram came back with a vengeance, and Alabama had taken Duke out of this game by the end of the first quarter, which is a rarity even for 1-A vs. 1-AA games. I guess there's not much in the way of a lesson here: Alabama is still good, and Duke is still bad, which really isn't news to anyone.

Ohio-7, #2 Ohio State-43

Ohio State really stepped out of their normal early season comfort zone when they played Miami last week. Fortunately, they boldly went back to playing the likes of Ohio this week. It must be tough being the Buckeyes, what with their eight home games in the 12 game regular season. It's a sad statement that they could lose both of their tough road matchups (at Wisconsin and Iowa) and still make a BCS bowl. The Buckeyes will slaughter Eastern Michigan next week, and they'll probably handle Illinois and Indiana the weeks after that, which will at least make the matchup against Wisconsin on the 16th at least important if not interesting, especially considering that Wisconsin could very easily lose a game between now and then.

#3 Boise State-51, Wyoming-6

Well, look for this to happen a lot in the coming weeks. If Boise gets around Oregon State (not a small task), they could very easily beat the remainder of their opponents by 70. Yeah, Nevada looked good when they thrashed Cal, but Nevada would still need some help from Boise to defeat the Broncos. So get ready for a whooooole lot more scores like this one...

#4 Texas-24, Texas Tech-14

You know, for a game that got a reasonable amount of hype, this one was sort of anticlimactic. The first half was a thriller, and a far cry from that game that everyone kept talking about in 2008. Yeah, I know that the 2008 game was arguably the high water mark for the Texas Tech football program, but the quarterback and receiver who threw the thrilling final pass are long since gone, as is the coach who engineered Texas Tech's rise to national prominence. This game was 14-14 at the half, which is exciting, but not the type of game that most people had expected. While Texas Tech looks decent, Tommy Tuberville still looks like he's uncomfortable coaching a team running a spread offense.

Texas, meanwhile, still has yet to dazzle anyone, but they're undefeated which is more than most teams can say. Gilbert is going to have to step up heavily if Texas is going to be returning to the national championship game. The Longhorns have what should be an easy home game against UCLA prior to the Red River Shootout on October 2, which will (as usual) determine the fate of the Big 12 South.

Baylor-10, #5 TCU-45

TCU put the game away in the first half when they jumped out to a 35-3 lead. Baylor, however, isn't overly good, so this game doesn't prove too terribly much. TCU should be able to handle themselves in their conference, though their games against Air Force and Utah should provide us all with more interesting matchups than whatever the ACC is serving that week...

Since I have the time and the space, allow me to say that Vandy, Duke, and Baylor should all schedule one another to see who the worst snobby private school in major college football is.

Portland State-0, #6 Oregon-69

Oregon is currently averaging 63 points per game, meaning that this game lowered their average. Sure, it's a cupcake game, but Oregon's offense is easily the best in the country right now. Look for Oregon to keep rolling strong until a game against Stanford on October 2 that should be a real shootout. In fact, looking at it now, that is going to be an awesome weekend of college football.

#7 Florida-31, Tennessee-17 (Bonus Bright Orange review, complete with way too many links)

Neyland Stadium is a sight to see. Mind you, it was built in 1924 so scenes like this are common during halftime. Watching 102,000 people squeeze into a corridor designed for about 1/3rd that number is a profoundly disturbing sight. Another disturbing sight is seeing a large, anthropomorphic bloodhound run into the stadium, though that could just be irrational fear on my part. As you can tell, our seats were somewhat high up, but that provided us with a very clear idea of just where the fans of either squad were (Note the Florida fan section in blue).

The game itself was surprisingly good. Tennessee held their own against a Florida squad that clearly ain't what they used to be. The UT quarterback, Phil Simms's son Matt, made some critical errors including an interception in the end zone. Tennessee's defense looked excellent, but their offense looked lost. The same can honestly be said for Florida, which continues to struggle running the shotgun spread. Florida prevailed, however, and the Tennessee students sent them off with a rousing chant of "F*** you Florida" that I imagine didn't make it onto the national broadcast. Florida fans, for the record, travel well, especially since Knoxville is about 8 hours from Gainesville. Since this is, as usual, one of those overly long things that I type on a weekly basis, allow me to just say that 31-17 is one of those scores that looks like a slaughter when you first look at it. You know, that's just 14 points. 14-0 or 21-7 isn't a slaughter, and I think it's fair to say that 31-17 isn't either. Look for Tennessee to go about 5-7 if they keep playing this way, while Florida should crush Kentucky this week then lose by 20 to Alabama the week after that...

#8 Nebraska-56, Washington-21

Jake Locker continues his Heisman campaign with an amazing 73 yard performance featuring 1 TD pass and 2 interceptions. I might be harping on this too much, but the bottom line is that Locker's looked like one of the most overrated quarterbacks this side of Jay Cutler. Locker is like Tim Tebow with all the hype but without the national titles, conference championships, or even the winning seasons. Yeah, you can pin a small amount of this on a mediocre receiver corps and the fact that Nebraska is really good, but the bottom line is that the amount of press given to Locker based upon his potential is completely unreasonable.

Nebraska, meanwhile, continues to impress. Their scrambling freshman quarterback ran for over 100 yards, and he's done that every game this season. It'll be interesting to see how they perform in the coming weeks, considering that they haven't played anyone who's that good. Next week they play a 1-AA cupcake, then they play Kansas State. Then comes the showdown with Texas on October 16.

Air Force-24, #9 Oklahoma-27

Air Force shows everyone just how fun the option is to watch. They also showed that Oklahoma either has trouble getting up for little games, or that they're not that good and Florida State (who the Sooners dominated last week) is just bad. Either way, Oklahoma narrowly skates by yet again. Lost in the shuffle of how awful the ACC is (don't get me wrong, that really should be the lead story) is the story of just how mediocre the Big 12 is. Outside of Nebraska, no Big 12 team has looked dominant, which is sad considering that the Big 12 is packing an utterly mediocre nonconference schedule. Name me the Big 12's biggest nonconference win. It's Kansas over Georgia Tech. 2nd biggest? Oklahoma over Florida State. 3rd biggest? Probably the Nebraska/Washington game listed above. So take that for what it's worth. (Oh, and look for Air Force to give some of the traditional MWC powers a scare this season.)

#10 Iowa-27, #18 Arizona-34

First and foremost, notice that this was nowhere near as large an upset according to the Coaches Poll. The Coaches Poll is no more or less conjecture than the AP Poll at this time, it's just that the Coaches Poll will actually matter come January. Iowa allowed Arizona to jump out to a huge lead, and they seemed destined to make a great comeback until Arizona put together an excellent final drive to seal the deal in front of a very energetic home crowd. Take note that last season, Iowa was probably an 8-4 team that won at least 3 games it shouldn't have. They made the BCS and beat Georgia Tech, true, but let's all be honest about Iowa's legitimacy as a National Title contender last season: there was none.

It was about 100 degrees, something that Iowans probably aren't used to. They also weren't expecting 4 straight sacks on their final possession, in what was arguably the finest show of defense this season. This was a good win for the Pac-10, especially since Oregon and Southern Cal have been stealing the show out west, and it was a better win for Mike Stoops. Arizona proved that they could beat major competition at home, now they have to prove they can do it on the road. I'll make you one guarantee: If they blow a 20 point lead on the road instead of at home, they'll lose the game. Look for Iowa to take a tumble in the coming month, since they have a pretty rough stretch after their last cupcake game next week. Arizona, meanwhile, has pretty smooth sailing until a November series of games with Stanford, Southern Cal, and Oregon.

Arizona State-19, #11 Wisconsin-20

I'll be honest, this one surprised me. I figured Arizona State would get beaten rather handily by Wisconsin, but I forgot that the Badgers have yet to really prove that they're the 11th best team in the country. I only caught the highlights of this game, but let it be known that the blocked extra point is still one of the best and most exciting plays in football. Wisconsin will have the opportunity to prove that they deserve their ranking when their conference schedule opens up in October. Arizona State has the "honor" of being the first Pac-10 team to try and slow down Oregon next week. If they play the way they did against the Badgers, they might only allow 50 points!

Mississippi State-7, #12 LSU-29

Mississippi State should really be glad that Vanderbilt is in their conference. Mind you, currently, Vandy has a better SEC record than Mississippi State. LSU was dominant, but against arguably the worst team in their conference, they shouldn't have needed 5 field goals. At least 3 of those should have been touchdowns. LSU looks like they'll be around the same level as they were last year: OK, but not as good as the teams on top of the conference. Let's just move on...

#13 Arkansas-31, Georgia-24

Well, Georgia's off to a rough start, and as usual the talk of firing Mark Richt has begun in Athens. Firing a coach just because he hasn't managed to win the toughest conference in the country isn't really a rational response. Generally firing a coach leads to a down year or three (see also: Michigan, Arkansas, just about every school that fired its coach in the last 4 years). Also, Arkansas is just beginning to climb upwards, but they're not there yet. The Razorbacks did pass this test, but they have another one coming up this week when Alabama comes to town. If they beat the Crimson Tide this week then I'll confess them as being worthy of their ranking...

#14 Utah-56, New Mexico-14

Utah is undefeated and in TCU's conference but ranked lower than the Horned Frogs. The Utes will put the hammer to whatever teams they can in order to gain the all-important "style points" necessary to get a BCS at-large bid. New Mexico may be in the MWC with TCU, Utah, and BYU, but they're light years away from being in those teams' league. So look for Utah to crush just about everyone they face up until their October 30 matchup with Air Force. A loss between now and then will kill the Utes' hopes for another trip to the BCS. Also, Utah is still a boring state.

Clemson-24, #15 Auburn-27 (OT)

Well, Clemson tried to make the ACC look good, and they came dang close. Since last Saturday was an utter wreck for the ACC, this week was actually redemption week. Had Clemson won this game, it'd go a long way to proving that the ACC doesn't suck nearly as much as everyone thinks it does. Auburn didn't ever look dominant, and I have a hard time believing that they'd have won this game on the road. The Tigers (of Auburn) have another tough test from South Carolina coming in the form of, uh, South Carolina this week. Of all the teams in the SEC, however, Auburn has the best shot at upsetting the status quo (Florida, Alabama dominant, rest of conference far behind) since they "only" play 3 ranked teams between now and a massive showdown with 'Bama on November 26. Auburn doesn't face a major road test until that game, either, which gives them a good chance. But if they play against LSU or Arkansas or South Carolina the way they did against Clemson (i.e. sloppy) then they'll lose long before this season's Iron Bowl.

Furman-19, #16 South Carolina-38

South Carolina beats a team from the local 1-AA conference. No review necessary.

#19 Stanford-68, Wake Forest-24

A team with a high powered offense meets a team that gave up 48 points to Duke last week. Don't read too much into this one, Stanford fans.

Kent State-0, #20 Penn State-24

Well, Penn State bounces back from a loss to Alabama by crushing a team from the MAC. Guess that's a good thing, but come on, JoePa. Kent State (the college) is only 16 years older than you.

Maryland-17, #21 West Virginia-31

There must be a law somewhere stating that every AQ conference has to have one ranked team. That's the only logic I can see for the ACC and the Big East each having a team in the Top 25. Oh, and WVU fans, don't get too cocky. You successfully beat a team that was the worst team in a conference that contains Duke last year. (Picking on the Devils an awful lot in this one, aren't I?)

Massachusetts-37, #22 Michigan-42

Dear Michigan,

I am glad you are back in the Top 25 so I can write you these letters. Just like last season, however, you are in the Top 25 because you've beaten a bunch of teams that really aren't that good and sportswriters and coaches inexplicably want you to be ranked. Do you remember how well things went last season after that 4-0 start against giants such as Eastern Michigan, Western Michigan, Indiana, and Notre Dame? I remember. You wound up going 5-7, losing every game you played after that 4-0 start except one against 1-AA cupcake Delaware State. Boldly, you have scheduled Bowling Green next week to round out your nonconference schedule. Yes, Denard Robinson has looked great this season. I don't know if you remember, but Tate Forcier looked great at this point last season. So enjoy next week and the following week against Indiana, because it's all going to come crashing down when you play Michigan State.

Sincerely,
Bones

#23 Houston-13, UCLA-31

UCLA isn't that good. Please don't be fooled. It's just that Houston still can't play defense. They couldn't last season, and they're not going to start this season. Please, sportswriters, for the love of all that is good and right with the world, quit getting so high on teams that can score 40 but allow 50. Learn to love defense. UCLA, have fun getting beaten by Texas next week.

San Diego State-24, #25 Missouri-27

It's telling just how confusing the college football landscape is when Missouri, a team that is actually fairly mediocre cracks the top 25. It's also telling that I live in the Southeast when that's all I can come up with here. It's late and I'm tired. Now for...

Tales from the Bottom 95

You all knew this one was coming: Virginia Tech finally won a game! Sure, it was against ECU, but I'll take what I can get...Cal didn't play on Saturday, but I guess I should have mentioned them above. They got knocked off by Nevada. Boise, you have been warned...Michigan State beat Notre Dame by scoring on a fake field goal in overtime. Coach Mark Dantonio then suffered a heart attack later that night. Congrats on the gutsy call coach, and we all hope you recover soon...On a related topic, anyone else think that Notre Dame was grossly overrated? Raise your hand if you did. If you didn't raise your hand then you probably play or coach for Notre Dame...Kansas followed their triumph over Georgia Tech by losing to Southern Miss...Just what the ACC needed...Speaking of Georgia Tech, they beat Carolina in a thriller that 2 weeks ago would have been a ranked matchup. O, how the conference has fallen...Temple beat UConn. Seriously, anyone else think that Michigan was seriously overrated?...Vandy beat Ole Miss, and the Rebels just keeeeeeeep falling...Idaho hammered UNLV...Lastly, the mighty Catamounts of Western Carolina University won their first game of the year, beating Gardner-Webb 28-14 on the road...

That's all for this week. See you next time!