Saturday in Review 9/18/10

Well, this is convenient for me. A day with practically no upsets and several games that qualify in the outright murder category. Guess it's time to get down to it...

#1 Alabama-62, Duke-13

Look, it can be argued that this made the ACC look bad, but the best team in the SEC (and, until proven otherwise, the country) beating the worst (or one of the worst) teams in the ACC really isn't headline news. Mark Ingram came back with a vengeance, and Alabama had taken Duke out of this game by the end of the first quarter, which is a rarity even for 1-A vs. 1-AA games. I guess there's not much in the way of a lesson here: Alabama is still good, and Duke is still bad, which really isn't news to anyone.

Ohio-7, #2 Ohio State-43

Ohio State really stepped out of their normal early season comfort zone when they played Miami last week. Fortunately, they boldly went back to playing the likes of Ohio this week. It must be tough being the Buckeyes, what with their eight home games in the 12 game regular season. It's a sad statement that they could lose both of their tough road matchups (at Wisconsin and Iowa) and still make a BCS bowl. The Buckeyes will slaughter Eastern Michigan next week, and they'll probably handle Illinois and Indiana the weeks after that, which will at least make the matchup against Wisconsin on the 16th at least important if not interesting, especially considering that Wisconsin could very easily lose a game between now and then.

#3 Boise State-51, Wyoming-6

Well, look for this to happen a lot in the coming weeks. If Boise gets around Oregon State (not a small task), they could very easily beat the remainder of their opponents by 70. Yeah, Nevada looked good when they thrashed Cal, but Nevada would still need some help from Boise to defeat the Broncos. So get ready for a whooooole lot more scores like this one...

#4 Texas-24, Texas Tech-14

You know, for a game that got a reasonable amount of hype, this one was sort of anticlimactic. The first half was a thriller, and a far cry from that game that everyone kept talking about in 2008. Yeah, I know that the 2008 game was arguably the high water mark for the Texas Tech football program, but the quarterback and receiver who threw the thrilling final pass are long since gone, as is the coach who engineered Texas Tech's rise to national prominence. This game was 14-14 at the half, which is exciting, but not the type of game that most people had expected. While Texas Tech looks decent, Tommy Tuberville still looks like he's uncomfortable coaching a team running a spread offense.

Texas, meanwhile, still has yet to dazzle anyone, but they're undefeated which is more than most teams can say. Gilbert is going to have to step up heavily if Texas is going to be returning to the national championship game. The Longhorns have what should be an easy home game against UCLA prior to the Red River Shootout on October 2, which will (as usual) determine the fate of the Big 12 South.

Baylor-10, #5 TCU-45

TCU put the game away in the first half when they jumped out to a 35-3 lead. Baylor, however, isn't overly good, so this game doesn't prove too terribly much. TCU should be able to handle themselves in their conference, though their games against Air Force and Utah should provide us all with more interesting matchups than whatever the ACC is serving that week...

Since I have the time and the space, allow me to say that Vandy, Duke, and Baylor should all schedule one another to see who the worst snobby private school in major college football is.

Portland State-0, #6 Oregon-69

Oregon is currently averaging 63 points per game, meaning that this game lowered their average. Sure, it's a cupcake game, but Oregon's offense is easily the best in the country right now. Look for Oregon to keep rolling strong until a game against Stanford on October 2 that should be a real shootout. In fact, looking at it now, that is going to be an awesome weekend of college football.

#7 Florida-31, Tennessee-17 (Bonus Bright Orange review, complete with way too many links)

Neyland Stadium is a sight to see. Mind you, it was built in 1924 so scenes like this are common during halftime. Watching 102,000 people squeeze into a corridor designed for about 1/3rd that number is a profoundly disturbing sight. Another disturbing sight is seeing a large, anthropomorphic bloodhound run into the stadium, though that could just be irrational fear on my part. As you can tell, our seats were somewhat high up, but that provided us with a very clear idea of just where the fans of either squad were (Note the Florida fan section in blue).

The game itself was surprisingly good. Tennessee held their own against a Florida squad that clearly ain't what they used to be. The UT quarterback, Phil Simms's son Matt, made some critical errors including an interception in the end zone. Tennessee's defense looked excellent, but their offense looked lost. The same can honestly be said for Florida, which continues to struggle running the shotgun spread. Florida prevailed, however, and the Tennessee students sent them off with a rousing chant of "F*** you Florida" that I imagine didn't make it onto the national broadcast. Florida fans, for the record, travel well, especially since Knoxville is about 8 hours from Gainesville. Since this is, as usual, one of those overly long things that I type on a weekly basis, allow me to just say that 31-17 is one of those scores that looks like a slaughter when you first look at it. You know, that's just 14 points. 14-0 or 21-7 isn't a slaughter, and I think it's fair to say that 31-17 isn't either. Look for Tennessee to go about 5-7 if they keep playing this way, while Florida should crush Kentucky this week then lose by 20 to Alabama the week after that...

#8 Nebraska-56, Washington-21

Jake Locker continues his Heisman campaign with an amazing 73 yard performance featuring 1 TD pass and 2 interceptions. I might be harping on this too much, but the bottom line is that Locker's looked like one of the most overrated quarterbacks this side of Jay Cutler. Locker is like Tim Tebow with all the hype but without the national titles, conference championships, or even the winning seasons. Yeah, you can pin a small amount of this on a mediocre receiver corps and the fact that Nebraska is really good, but the bottom line is that the amount of press given to Locker based upon his potential is completely unreasonable.

Nebraska, meanwhile, continues to impress. Their scrambling freshman quarterback ran for over 100 yards, and he's done that every game this season. It'll be interesting to see how they perform in the coming weeks, considering that they haven't played anyone who's that good. Next week they play a 1-AA cupcake, then they play Kansas State. Then comes the showdown with Texas on October 16.

Air Force-24, #9 Oklahoma-27

Air Force shows everyone just how fun the option is to watch. They also showed that Oklahoma either has trouble getting up for little games, or that they're not that good and Florida State (who the Sooners dominated last week) is just bad. Either way, Oklahoma narrowly skates by yet again. Lost in the shuffle of how awful the ACC is (don't get me wrong, that really should be the lead story) is the story of just how mediocre the Big 12 is. Outside of Nebraska, no Big 12 team has looked dominant, which is sad considering that the Big 12 is packing an utterly mediocre nonconference schedule. Name me the Big 12's biggest nonconference win. It's Kansas over Georgia Tech. 2nd biggest? Oklahoma over Florida State. 3rd biggest? Probably the Nebraska/Washington game listed above. So take that for what it's worth. (Oh, and look for Air Force to give some of the traditional MWC powers a scare this season.)

#10 Iowa-27, #18 Arizona-34

First and foremost, notice that this was nowhere near as large an upset according to the Coaches Poll. The Coaches Poll is no more or less conjecture than the AP Poll at this time, it's just that the Coaches Poll will actually matter come January. Iowa allowed Arizona to jump out to a huge lead, and they seemed destined to make a great comeback until Arizona put together an excellent final drive to seal the deal in front of a very energetic home crowd. Take note that last season, Iowa was probably an 8-4 team that won at least 3 games it shouldn't have. They made the BCS and beat Georgia Tech, true, but let's all be honest about Iowa's legitimacy as a National Title contender last season: there was none.

It was about 100 degrees, something that Iowans probably aren't used to. They also weren't expecting 4 straight sacks on their final possession, in what was arguably the finest show of defense this season. This was a good win for the Pac-10, especially since Oregon and Southern Cal have been stealing the show out west, and it was a better win for Mike Stoops. Arizona proved that they could beat major competition at home, now they have to prove they can do it on the road. I'll make you one guarantee: If they blow a 20 point lead on the road instead of at home, they'll lose the game. Look for Iowa to take a tumble in the coming month, since they have a pretty rough stretch after their last cupcake game next week. Arizona, meanwhile, has pretty smooth sailing until a November series of games with Stanford, Southern Cal, and Oregon.

Arizona State-19, #11 Wisconsin-20

I'll be honest, this one surprised me. I figured Arizona State would get beaten rather handily by Wisconsin, but I forgot that the Badgers have yet to really prove that they're the 11th best team in the country. I only caught the highlights of this game, but let it be known that the blocked extra point is still one of the best and most exciting plays in football. Wisconsin will have the opportunity to prove that they deserve their ranking when their conference schedule opens up in October. Arizona State has the "honor" of being the first Pac-10 team to try and slow down Oregon next week. If they play the way they did against the Badgers, they might only allow 50 points!

Mississippi State-7, #12 LSU-29

Mississippi State should really be glad that Vanderbilt is in their conference. Mind you, currently, Vandy has a better SEC record than Mississippi State. LSU was dominant, but against arguably the worst team in their conference, they shouldn't have needed 5 field goals. At least 3 of those should have been touchdowns. LSU looks like they'll be around the same level as they were last year: OK, but not as good as the teams on top of the conference. Let's just move on...

#13 Arkansas-31, Georgia-24

Well, Georgia's off to a rough start, and as usual the talk of firing Mark Richt has begun in Athens. Firing a coach just because he hasn't managed to win the toughest conference in the country isn't really a rational response. Generally firing a coach leads to a down year or three (see also: Michigan, Arkansas, just about every school that fired its coach in the last 4 years). Also, Arkansas is just beginning to climb upwards, but they're not there yet. The Razorbacks did pass this test, but they have another one coming up this week when Alabama comes to town. If they beat the Crimson Tide this week then I'll confess them as being worthy of their ranking...

#14 Utah-56, New Mexico-14

Utah is undefeated and in TCU's conference but ranked lower than the Horned Frogs. The Utes will put the hammer to whatever teams they can in order to gain the all-important "style points" necessary to get a BCS at-large bid. New Mexico may be in the MWC with TCU, Utah, and BYU, but they're light years away from being in those teams' league. So look for Utah to crush just about everyone they face up until their October 30 matchup with Air Force. A loss between now and then will kill the Utes' hopes for another trip to the BCS. Also, Utah is still a boring state.

Clemson-24, #15 Auburn-27 (OT)

Well, Clemson tried to make the ACC look good, and they came dang close. Since last Saturday was an utter wreck for the ACC, this week was actually redemption week. Had Clemson won this game, it'd go a long way to proving that the ACC doesn't suck nearly as much as everyone thinks it does. Auburn didn't ever look dominant, and I have a hard time believing that they'd have won this game on the road. The Tigers (of Auburn) have another tough test from South Carolina coming in the form of, uh, South Carolina this week. Of all the teams in the SEC, however, Auburn has the best shot at upsetting the status quo (Florida, Alabama dominant, rest of conference far behind) since they "only" play 3 ranked teams between now and a massive showdown with 'Bama on November 26. Auburn doesn't face a major road test until that game, either, which gives them a good chance. But if they play against LSU or Arkansas or South Carolina the way they did against Clemson (i.e. sloppy) then they'll lose long before this season's Iron Bowl.

Furman-19, #16 South Carolina-38

South Carolina beats a team from the local 1-AA conference. No review necessary.

#19 Stanford-68, Wake Forest-24

A team with a high powered offense meets a team that gave up 48 points to Duke last week. Don't read too much into this one, Stanford fans.

Kent State-0, #20 Penn State-24

Well, Penn State bounces back from a loss to Alabama by crushing a team from the MAC. Guess that's a good thing, but come on, JoePa. Kent State (the college) is only 16 years older than you.

Maryland-17, #21 West Virginia-31

There must be a law somewhere stating that every AQ conference has to have one ranked team. That's the only logic I can see for the ACC and the Big East each having a team in the Top 25. Oh, and WVU fans, don't get too cocky. You successfully beat a team that was the worst team in a conference that contains Duke last year. (Picking on the Devils an awful lot in this one, aren't I?)

Massachusetts-37, #22 Michigan-42

Dear Michigan,

I am glad you are back in the Top 25 so I can write you these letters. Just like last season, however, you are in the Top 25 because you've beaten a bunch of teams that really aren't that good and sportswriters and coaches inexplicably want you to be ranked. Do you remember how well things went last season after that 4-0 start against giants such as Eastern Michigan, Western Michigan, Indiana, and Notre Dame? I remember. You wound up going 5-7, losing every game you played after that 4-0 start except one against 1-AA cupcake Delaware State. Boldly, you have scheduled Bowling Green next week to round out your nonconference schedule. Yes, Denard Robinson has looked great this season. I don't know if you remember, but Tate Forcier looked great at this point last season. So enjoy next week and the following week against Indiana, because it's all going to come crashing down when you play Michigan State.

Sincerely,
Bones

#23 Houston-13, UCLA-31

UCLA isn't that good. Please don't be fooled. It's just that Houston still can't play defense. They couldn't last season, and they're not going to start this season. Please, sportswriters, for the love of all that is good and right with the world, quit getting so high on teams that can score 40 but allow 50. Learn to love defense. UCLA, have fun getting beaten by Texas next week.

San Diego State-24, #25 Missouri-27

It's telling just how confusing the college football landscape is when Missouri, a team that is actually fairly mediocre cracks the top 25. It's also telling that I live in the Southeast when that's all I can come up with here. It's late and I'm tired. Now for...

Tales from the Bottom 95

You all knew this one was coming: Virginia Tech finally won a game! Sure, it was against ECU, but I'll take what I can get...Cal didn't play on Saturday, but I guess I should have mentioned them above. They got knocked off by Nevada. Boise, you have been warned...Michigan State beat Notre Dame by scoring on a fake field goal in overtime. Coach Mark Dantonio then suffered a heart attack later that night. Congrats on the gutsy call coach, and we all hope you recover soon...On a related topic, anyone else think that Notre Dame was grossly overrated? Raise your hand if you did. If you didn't raise your hand then you probably play or coach for Notre Dame...Kansas followed their triumph over Georgia Tech by losing to Southern Miss...Just what the ACC needed...Speaking of Georgia Tech, they beat Carolina in a thriller that 2 weeks ago would have been a ranked matchup. O, how the conference has fallen...Temple beat UConn. Seriously, anyone else think that Michigan was seriously overrated?...Vandy beat Ole Miss, and the Rebels just keeeeeeeep falling...Idaho hammered UNLV...Lastly, the mighty Catamounts of Western Carolina University won their first game of the year, beating Gardner-Webb 28-14 on the road...

That's all for this week. See you next time!

An Open Letter to Pete Carroll

Dear Pete,

First, I’m shocked you took the time to read this, what with your new NFL career in full swing. I just thought I’d take the time to address that little mess you left behind at Southern California. We all know that you’re aware of the sanctions imposed on the rather legendary program by the NCAA, because you made us aware with this super-heartfelt video, in which you admit to no wrongdoing whatsoever. Sure, the wrongdoing was committed by your most high profile player, a guy you recruited yourself, but for some reason no one really called you out on this whole thing until it was far too late for all parties involved.

I’m writing now because the player in question, Reggie Bush, has taken some serious heat for his involvement in a bit of underhanded dealing with an agent, which some consider unbecoming of a college athlete. To attempt to compensate, Reggie Bush recently returned his Heisman. You are apparently aware of this, too, since you released the following statement:

“It is my hope that this situation serves as a teachable moment to all involved, especially for the young athletes and university and high school administrators of tomorrow.”

I hope you’ll forgive the cynicism that is about to be displayed by me and most of the rest of the sportswriting community, but that sounds like a load of hogwash. Pete, we are talking about one of the most dynamic running backs in the last decade of college football. You really expect us to believe that you knew nothing about the whole business, and were merely a bystander as the highest profile player on your team received underhanded deals? Coach, that’s just about totally unbelievable, and your behavior doesn’t match up overly well with the details of the case. When you were riding high on national championships and major bowl wins you were totally uninterested in the concept of leaving LA. Yet after one of the worst seasons in your tenure at Southern Cal, you choose to leave? And shortly afterward the NCAA sweeps in with debilitating sanctions that very realistically could cripple Southern California for the forseeable future.

Anger against you is growing, Coach Carroll, and not without reason. The school is being buried under an avalanche of sanctions that should begin to have their effect in the coming months and years once Southern California begins its conference schedule. The school has also purged itself of any reference to Reggie Bush, taking down banners, posters and jerseys and returning Bush’s Heisman. Bush was forced to return the most important individual accolade a college player can earn, and if he’s really sorry he’ll soon admit wrongdoing. And you? Nothing. You’re getting paid, you’re coaching at the professional level, and you’re not being stripped of anything. There is a massive target on your back, Coach, and it’s only going to get bigger as the other actors in this little tragedy are made to pay their penance.

The heck of it is, Pete, you seem to be a halfway decent guy! There was the whole business with the young boy losing his sight and asking to see a Southern Cal game as the final thing he’d see (link!). Your Camp Pete website is cartoonish and it hurts my eyes, but it’s for a dang good cause! On top of all that, you helped create an anti-gang violence charity in Los Angeles! Pete, is admitting you did wrong such a bad thing? Coaches and coordinators are the only ones getting paid to be there. Supposedly. There are practically no programs in college football that haven’t committed a violation of ethics, recruiting, or both in recent years. So admit that you knew something. Admit that you were wrong, at least a little. American sports fans are a notoriously forgiving lot, and the players at your current level are getting paid anyway.

Pete, allow me to say this in closing: I despised your teams when you were coaching. Every single Saturday I cheered against you and the Trojans. With that said, you were good for the game. People wanted to watch a Southern Cal game during the Carroll Era, either to cheer you on or to boo you mercilessly. You’re an excellent coach, paid players or no. You revived a program back into a proud dynasty, and because the actions taken by people under your command during your tenure could well bring it back down, you should admit wrongdoing, if only to preserve your personal integrity and whatever’s left of the integrity of USC football.

Sincerely,

Bones

(PS to the readers: If anyone knows Coach Carroll, pass this along. Without this part, obviously.)

Saturday in Review 9/11/10

There are days in college football that you just wish you could forget. This day, for most of us in the ACC fanbelt, was one of those. It's not often that every single ranked team from a single conference loses in the same day. It's even less often that one of those teams happens to be your favorite team. And, for the first time in my life, my ranked favorite team lost at home to a team from Division 1-AA. So, with that in mind, prepare for something that has more in common with Ecclesiastes than with a football blog...

#14 Penn State-3, #1 Alabama-24

Well, it's good to know that I was right about something. Ingram or no Ingram, Alabama certainly looks like the best team in the country. Once again, this is way too early in the season to draw in-depth conclusions, but 'Bama has looked dominant in both of its games thus far, and they won't be playing a proven football powerhouse until October 2, when Florida comes to town. Sure, they go to Arkansas in late September, but Arkansas seems to be criminally overrated at present, what with the pathetic non-conference schedule and all. Yeah, I'm filling this up with fluff, but did you watch this game? It was far more one-sided than the scoreboard indicated. (Oh, do note that the rankings here are from the coaches' poll. Forgot to put that in the intro.)

#12 Miami-24, #2 Ohio State-36

Well, so much for that talk of "The U" being back on the national scene. Heck, some idiot on this very blog proclaimed that the ACC looked better than the SEC last Saturday. Oh, wait, that was me. Then this week happened. This week made the ACC look like an underachieving 1-AA conference. This week was so bad that this game, the one I'm not actually reviewing right now, was probably the best performance by an ACC team this week. Wait, 2nd best. North Carolina didn't play.

Miami never really got taken out of this game, they just kept turning the ball over. 4 times, to be precise, all of them interceptions. Ohio State won the turnover battle and won the game. No surprise there, right? Right. Miami, having played this way, still have a realistic shot at winning the ACC, though at this point that's going to be like winning the gold medal in the Olympic ribbon twirling championship.

Wyoming-7, #4 Texas-34

Congrats to Texas' scheduling committee, who have successfully conjured the weakest nonconference schedule imaginable. The Longhorns are playing a slew of nobodies and UCLA. So, scratch that, a slew of nobodies. The last time Texas played a ranked nonconference foe in the regular season was in 2007, when they played TCU. Since then, they've boldly played no one outside of their relatively weak conference. Pardon my cynicism, but why isn't Texas subject to the same cynicism and ridicule that Boise State and TCU are given year in and year out? Texas plays one big game, a neutral site matchup against Oklahoma, each year, and then gets the fast track to the BCS. Yet they're treated as a powerhouse because they were good many years ago and they still are good today, whereas teams that weren't good (or extant) 50 years ago get left in the cold because geography doesn't dictate that they play in the big, strong southern conferences. Sure, there's a solution, but if you read this blog you already know what that is.

Tennessee Tech-7, #5 TCU-62

Doesn't TCU take enough heat for playing in a non-AQ conference? I understand that now that they're a threat, no big school wants to play them, but can't they at least find a 1-A school to play? Anyone? I'm only harping on this because when the year comes to a close and there are, say, 3 undefeated teams left, then the BCS committee will make a point to highlight that at least Texas murdered other 1-A teams.

South Florida-14, #6 Florida-38

Florida's not as good as they once were, but it helps that they played a team from the Big East, a conference which is almost as bad as the ACC. Still, this game should have given the Gator fans pause, because like Miami of Ohio, South Florida wasn't put into the rear view until the 4th quarter, and it was really Florida's defense that held them down, with the Gator offense putting up decent numbers against an inferior foe. It'll be interesting to see how Florida does against their first SEC foe this coming week. Thanks to me marrying a Tennessean, I'll be at that game, so look for some bonus coverage in next week's overly-long mostly unread version of this thing. Plus, it will be in blinding orange-vision, an added bonus!

Idaho-17, #7 Nebraska-38

Nebraska returns a good defense; with Pelini at the helm that's not a shocker. What is a shocker is their quarterback, Martinez, has run for 127 and 157 yards in weeks one and two of the season. Sure, that was against Western Kentucky and Idaho, but do you really think that teams in the Big 12 have defenses that are much better than those squads? Nebraska has something of an uphill climb, considering that they have Texas during the regular season, in addition to their road trip to Washington and the savior of football Jake Locker. Don't be surprised, though, if the 'Huskers grab the Big 12's BCS bid this season, especially since they seem to have a good offense to complement that defense.

#8 Oregon-48, Tennessee-13

Well, this doesn't bode overly well for when Florida visits the orange hole that is Neyland Stadium. Sure, Oregon's no pushover, but their defense isn't as good as Florida's. Tennessee had trouble moving the ball early in the game, and an opportunity to score a large number of points and really take advantage of the home field was lost. Tennessee will have even more trouble moving the ball against Florida next week.

Oregon, meanwhile, has an absurdly good offense, featuring a relatively balanced attack and a misdemeanor or 5. With Southern Cal a non-contender, right now it's difficult to see anyone but Oregon winning the Pac-10. It's also stupidly early to be making declarations about that sort of thing, so let's just move right along...

Iowa State-7, #9 Iowa-35

The Battle for the Cy-Hawk Trophy is one of the more one-sided rivalries in modern college football. Iowa has won 6 of the last 8, and 21 of the last 28 meetings. The Hawkeyes haven't lost in Iowa City since 2002, and Iowa's looked one heck of a lot more dominant to start this season than they did last year. Since they're coming off of a very good season in which they won a BCS bowl, Iowa's got a very real chance to make some noise at the end of the season. They have a fairly challenging trip to Arizona coming up this week, which will tell us much more about Iowa than their slaughter of two overmatched teams will. As you can tell, this game wasn't televised in our area. Moving on...

#18 Florida State-17, #10 Oklahoma-47

Another ACC team goes down, and this one goes down hard. Oklahoma, a team that looked outright flat last week against the Utah State Aggies, came out and slaughtered the Seminoles. ("Slaughter" is apparently the word of the week.) Florida State proved that they can be very good bullies, in the sense that they can beat up 1-AA Samford, and get beaten up when a bigger, badder kid comes to play. In this scenario, the Sooners beat up the Seminoles and took their lunch money. There's just about nothing positive you can say about this performance from Florida State: they turned the ball over frequently, the Heisman talk surrounding Christian Ponder didn't die--it was murdered, and Florida State's defense looked beyond lost in their attempts to stop Oklahoma. Landry Jones was throwing balls over and around Florida State the whole game, and I'm beginning to think that the Heisman trophy that went to Sam Bradford back in 2008 should have gone to the Oklahoma offensive line coach. No one that I know of has claimed that Landry Jones is anywhere near as good as Bradford, yet he just had an extremely good game against a team that theoretically has a decent defense. This bodes well for Oklahoma, since they play in the Big 12.

Speaking of defense, the way Oklahoma's defense played almost made me recant my mockery of Big 12 defenses. Almost. Then I looked again and saw that every single ranked ACC team lost on this particular horrible Saturday, so shutting down Florida State was something of an unimpressive feat. Oklahoma's still got some tough games coming up, with a potential trap against Air Force, followed by a game against underwhelming Cincinnati, followed by the de facto Big 12 South championship game against Texas. It's going to be a somewhat rough month for the Sooners, so we'll see where they are in a few weeks. As for Florida State, with the state of the ACC, they could easily wind up going to the Orange Bowl. Take that for what it's worth.

San Jose State-14, #11 Wisconsin-27

Never let it be said that San Jose State isn't willing to play a tough schedule. Consecutive games against the #1 and #11 teams in the nation, respectively do not lend themselves to having a good season opening. To be fair, the Spartans didn't get slaughtered in this one, though they were down 20-0 when they cracked the scoreboard very late in the 3rd quarter. Wisconsin, however, doesn't look like the 11th best team in the country with back to back close-ish wins over UNLV and San Jose State. The Badgers will play their toughest nonconference foe next week when the Arizona State Sun Devils roll into Madison. There isn't a ranked team on Wisconsin's schedule until the October 16 matchup with Ohio State, and you have to wonder if this rather mundane first half of the season will help or hurt the Badgers, considering that they play the better half of the Big 10 during the last half of the season.

Oh, and on the off chance that one of the 8 people who cares about San Jose State football reads this, the Spartans have a cupcake next week. If there's any team in the country that does deserve one, it's the Spartans. Though they shouldn't get too cocky because...

James Madison-21, #13 Virginia Tech-16

I want to blame this on something. Weather, tiredness, conspiracy theory, anything. I also want to fill this space with a slew of curse words that would get me kicked out of any civilized place on the planet. But that's not how we roll on this blog, so I'll just tell the truth:

Virginia Tech has committed some of the most egregious sins a college football team can commit. They overlooked their opponent this week, assuming that James Madison would go in with their heads hung and provide Virginia Tech with an easy win and a foot massage. The Hokies assumed that everyone had seen them hang with the Broncos of Boise State on Monday night, and that would be enough. It wasn't. But good teams often overlook their opponents, and had this been the case here, I might be willing to forgive this loss.

The second football sin that Tech committed is just about unforgivable: They believed their own hype. Virginia Tech was touted by many preseason polls as having the best backfield in the country, with Ryan Williams and Darren Evans providing a one-two punch that the Hokies would ride right up to an ACC Championship. Instead, Virginia Tech has the 42nd best rushing offense in the country after two weeks behind a mistake prone offensive line, and the whole team seems to have come down with a case of the fumbles. The defense, which defined Virginia Tech football for the last 20 years or so, has allowed a high number of points and doesn't have many takeaways.

Even so, at this juncture, 2 good things can come out of this. 1) Virginia Tech has a horrible season, finishes 2-10 or so and offensive coordinator Bryan "I have never fielded an offense better than 38th in the nation" Stinespring gets fired. That's good for Virginia Tech, since it's been the not-so-secret dream of everyone in Blacksburg since roughly 2002, when he and his 4-and-a-half play offense took over.

2) Virginia Tech recovers, wins the ACC, and goes to a BCS bowl after starting off 0-2 with a loss against a 1-AA team. How is that good, you ask? Well, it shows just how broken the system is and it might be the final straw that breaks the BCS camel's back.

Finally (hey, don't give me that look, you knew this was going to be long), the Hokie loss has put a lot of talk in the air about Boise State's strength of schedule taking a hit. What people seem to not dare ask is this: How good is Boise State, really? They only beat Virginia Tech by 3, compared to James Madison's 5 point win. I know it seems like a cheap shot, but think about it! The media is afraid to criticize Boise because they're everyone's darlings, but suddenly that Oregon State game looms one heck of a lot larger. I guess we'll see on the 25th.

#15 Arkansas-31, UL Monroe-7

If you're still with me after that ridiculous rant about Virginia Tech, then I shall reward you with lightning quick reviews for a bit...Well, less lightning quick and more "not a page and a half long..."

I would just like to compliment Arkansas for being an SEC team willing to play a Sun Belt team at the Sun Belt team's stadium. Next season, I would like to thank Arkansas for being an SEC team willing to not schedule a Sun Belt team at all, though I don't like the odds of that happening. Let's move along...

#16 LSU-27, Vanderbilt-3

LSU might really not be that good, considering that Carolina's B-team nearly beat them, and Vandy held them to 10 points in the first half. A win is a win, though, and LSU is 2-0, and they look to have a clear path right up until they play Florida in October.

#17 Georgia Tech-25, Kansas-28

Everyone's making a fuss over Virginia Tech's loss. Has anyone noticed that a team that lost 6-3 to North Dakota State beat the defending ACC champions? I would also like to point out (and yes, I know this is grasping at straws) that at least James Madison is a good 1-AA team, whereas North Dakota State is not. This game just completed the disaster for the conference on the coast, and Georgia Tech looked every bit as embarrassing as any of the other ranked ACC schools listed above.

#19 Georgia-6, #25 South Carolina-17

Well, South Carolina beat a ranked SEC team! I guess that's the good news. The bad news is that both of these teams played relatively mundanely in this game, and it's hard to see either of them making a serious run in a conference that's weaker than it was last year, but is still the best conference in the country. Neither of these teams should beat Alabama, Florida, LSU, Arkansas, or Auburn, and that means that both look to finish smack in the middle of the SEC. In other words, not much has changed for Georgia or South Carolina...

UNLV-10, #20 Utah-38

Utah...still a boring state. (NOTE: No offense intended to my compatriots on here, it's just that Utah games are almost never broadcast here.)

The Citadel-6, #23 Arizona-52

It never ceases to amaze me the number of good teams that the representatives of the Southern Conference (a 1-AA conference, obviously) play. This season, SoCon teams will play or have played the following: Florida, Arizona, Auburn, Florida State, and South Carolina.

I'm sure other 1-AA conferences have similar stories to tell, but as someone who lives across the street from a SoCon school, I just thought I'd point that out. It's not like this game was close. Or televised. And even I am not pathetic enough to watch the tape delay on that one. Good luck in Iowa next week, Arizona. Moving hastily along to the last big one this week.

#24 BYU-14, Air Force-35

Air Force ran, quite literally, all over the BYU Cougars demonstrating, as Sloppy put it, the proper way to run a triple option offense. BYU came out swinging in the first quarter and then apparently became content with their lead and went home, forgetting to play in the remaining three quarters. Air Force has the potential to make some noise in the Mountain West Conference, provided that they can beat Utah and TCU. I vote that the MWC gets the ACC's auto bid, and that the WAC gets the Big East's. It'll make for a more interesting postseason. And now...

Tales from the Bottom 95

First, congrats on making it this far down...Hats off to UVa for sticking with Southern Cal, a team that isn't ranked in the coaches poll, and thus not on my list. To be fair, the Cavaliers' performance probably says more about the state of USC football than it does about the Cavaliers...Hawaii edged Army by 3. Again, this probably says more about Southern Cal than it does about Army or Hawaii...I'm planning on writing a letter to Pete Carroll, by the way...Cincinnati bounced back from the loss to Fresno by beating--Indiana State. Never mind...Akron continued their long run of mediocrity by dropping a game to Gardner-Webb...It was apparently a bad week for 1-A teams looking for a cupcake, since Minnesota lost to South Dakota...Congrats to Clemson for crushing their terrifying foe--Presbyterian. On a horrible day for the ACC, you showed up to pummel your cupcake. Congrats?...Same to Maryland...Another 1-AA cupcake surprise: Liberty beat Ball State...In "how the mighty have fallen" news, the same Oklahoma State team that was #5 in the country last season in week 2 only beat their Sun Belt foe Troy by 3...Stanford smacked UCLA...

That's all for this week. Next week will hopefully be less depressing.

Virginia Tech vs Boise State vs Officiating

As the resident Hokie, I suppose it's my civic duty to review this game...I'll try to keep it as unbiased as possible.

#5 Boise State-33, #6 Virginia Tech-30

First off, allow me to address the uniforms: they were hideous. Nike needs to be sued by a group of clothing designers or something. Boise's jerseys were bad, but Tech looked like a team from some 13 year old's poorly written fan fiction about "futureball," a game that combines football with explosions and stripper cheerleaders. (Kinda like the XFL.) Both teams' helmets were nice, though. But you're not here for aesthetics, you're here for analysis, especially since you already know who won the game.

Well, for once a big game lived up to the hype. Aside from the horrible, awful first quarter, this game was danged good. The first quarter, however, was an embarrassment to anyone who happens to root for the team from Blacksburg. Boise's jump to a 17-0 lead owed much less to the Broncos' skill, and much more to outright ineptitude from Virginia Tech. It should be obvious that the debacle of the first quarter factored into the decision, since Virginia Tech outscored Boise by 14 over the course of the rest of the game. I'm aware that it's everyone's first game, but Tech's offensive line looked outright sad during the first quarter, and I'm not really sure they started getting better over the course of the game so much as Tyrod Taylor said "Alright, enough of this." and put the game on his shoulders.

Boise, meanwhile, looked great when it came to shutting down Tech's running attack. Mind you, they did so at the expense of the pass defense. Taylor's not the best passer, but he threw for nearly 200 yards and 2 touchdowns. Sure, Kellen Moore had better numbers through the air, but he's a passing quarterback. Tech's defense, which was replacing 6 starters, didn't have a shot at shutting down the Boise offense, but they did do OK until they gave up an absurdly long touchdown run in the 3rd quarter.

The salient feature of this game for me (and just about everyone else who willingly wears the clashing colors of maroon and orange) was the officiating. Specifically, the quality of the officiating, which was remarkably poor. Fortunately (I guess) the screwups were pretty much even. Boise State, for example, was called for "running into the kicker" in the 3rd. In all honesty, the Boise State player grazed Tech's kicker and he (like many other kickers) treated the slight touch as though it were a gunshot wound. After the five yard penalty was marched off, Tech proceeded to throw a touchdown on the very next play. But the reason why Blacksburgians (Blacksburgites? Blacksburgers? There needs to be a dictionary for this crap.) are up in arms today is because of the final minute and a half of the game. On the kickoff there was an illegal block in the back. The flag was thrown, and the officials decided that there was no penalty. OK, fine. Debatable, but fine. Later in the drive, Virginia Tech was whistled for a personal foul on a late hit. This call was, simply put, bad. The lateness of the hit was debatable, but if the refs wanted to err on the side of caution, that's OK. What is not OK is that, on Virginia Tech's final possession, a similarly debatable pass interference call was ignored on 4th down. If you want to be a ticky-tack official who calls every little rule infraction, that's fine, but call it both ways. The running into the kicker call and the late hit call were both bad calls, but the block in the back and the pass interference call were bad no-calls. Inconsistent officiating drives fans bonkers, and I am no exception. Or maybe I'm still not over this call. Not that it matters, because they're not going to replay the game on my account.

In conclusion, now that they've beaten the Hokies, I sincerely hope that Boise runs the table and heads to the National Championship game. The chips need to fall right, though, because (as seen above) I choose to focus on the coaches poll, which currently places Boise at number 3. Considering the relative weakness of their schedule, they still need a miracle or two to make the National Title game. What they really need is for Virginia Tech and Oregon State to run the table after they play Boise, the better to make the Broncos look good. As it stands, though, Boise needs every major conference team to lose a game, because otherwise coaches will find an excuse to place any team above them, if only to preserve the BCS monopoly.

Well, that's all. Personally, I think I did alright on avoiding the bias, but I'm curious to get your input. Comment away...

Saturday in Review 9/4/10

A glorious (and surprisingly competitive) first Saturday of the year. Let’s hit the highlights and gloss conveniently over some of the more slaughter-oriented games of the day (Side note: numbers represent position in the USA Today/Coaches’ Poll, since that’s the one that factors into the BCS)…

San Jose State-3, #1 Alabama-48

On a day where many SEC teams did not look up to snuff, the Crimson Tide certainly showed up to play. Even minus Mark Ingram, Alabama had very little trouble with the Spartans of San Jose State, which means that my hat is safe. As the defending champs, Alabama was sort of obliged to win this game against inferior competition. Plus, ‘Bama at least had the decency to play another 1-A team, something that many many other squads didn’t have the gumption to do on this particular day. Let’s move on…

Miami (the bad one) (I mean, Ohio)-12, #3 Florida-34

Considering their ranking, this had to be pretty embarrassing for Florida. The defense showed up to play, something for which Urban Meyer should be eternally grateful, since the Gators’ offense apparently all followed St. Timmy to the NFL. Miami was leading this game after the 1st quarter, and Florida’s defense provided the first touchdown of 2010. If this were a report on another school named Miami, that wouldn’t be a big deal. But considering that Florida was playing the 2nd worst team on its schedule, this really isn’t a good sign if you’re a Gator fan. If you’re sick of Florida being shoved down your throat as an ideal team that others should strive to be like, however, this was kinda fun to watch. Florida’s offense never got going at any point in the game, and they looked very frustrated at times with the MAC defense of Miami. The game against South Florida figures to be tougher than this one, so Urban had best get things in Gainesville turned around fast, otherwise he may be taking another leave of absence.

#4 Texas-34, Rice-17

Rice played surprisingly well in this game. The Owls are known for being something of a traditional cupcake for the Longhorns, and it was good to see them fight back. Texas, though, joins a surprisingly large club of teams that didn’t hammer their cupcakes into the ground. Statisticians will tell you that 1 game is the worst possible sample size you can use to draw conclusions, so when the spate of “what week one taught us” articles come out, don’t pay too much attention. Texas plays mediocre nonconference competition, and its quite possible that they weren’t taking this game too seriously. It’s also possible that this game is a troubling barometer that all is not well in Austin, and that Texas is poised for a precipitous fall. The only certainty is that it’s too dang early to tell anything, and that goes for the two games I wrote about above this one, and however many games I’ll write about below this one.

As to the game itself: Texas’ running game saved the day, since Garrett Gilbert looked about as inconsistent today as he did during the National Championship game back in January. Rice didn’t allow any ridiculously huge plays, but they seemed to run out of steam in the 2nd quarter, allowing Texas to wake up out of their funk and take a 24-3 lead before the Owls could score again. Allowing your superior competition a double digit lead is generally how cupcakes allow themselves to get eaten. There are exceptions to this rule (see Bottom 95 section on Ole Miss), but this game wasn’t one of them. Onward, to an actual ranked matchup!

#22 Oregon State-21, #7 TCU-30

It’s been a good week thus far for the BCS busters, though this game was pretty close for much of its early portions. We really can’t read too much into this one, but it was interesting to note that the commentators for this game said that the difference was “the experience” of TCU quarterback Andy Dalton was what made the difference in this game. Simply put, that’s just wrong. Dalton did have 30 more starts than Oregon State’s quarterback, and he ran for 2 scores and threw for another, but he also threw 2 more interceptions. Call it a wash, but don’t call it a difference. Besides which, anyone who was watching the game knows that the difference maker was TCU’s defense…or possibly their hideous new unis.

Utah State-24, #8 Oklahoma-31

Coming off of a bowl season where the Big 12 looked outright mediocre (4-4) the conference had a lot to prove coming into this season. In week 1, they failed to prove much of anything, with both Texas and Oklahoma struggling mightily against lesser foes. At least Texas had the excuse of being on the road. Oklahoma had to nip a team that went 4-8 last season, and they had to do so in Norman. It stands to reason that the biggest problem present in the Big 12 is that the conference doesn’t know how to play defense. Yes, there is an exception to this rule: Nebraska. And of the Big 12 teams in action on Saturday, guess which one looked the best? That’s right…

Western Kentucky-10, #9 Nebraska-49

Nebraska was quite dominant all day, something that is very telling about the status of some very highly ranked teams. You see, having to say “(insert ranked team name here) was dominant all day” in the first week of the season is normally like saying “The sun rose today” or “A Florida player got arrested today.” It should be unremarkable, commonplace, etc. Instead, many teams looked like that number in front of their name was the number of points they were going to score. Nebraksa is leaving their current conference in the lurch after this season, and they have a very real shot at winning the Big 12 in their last year in the conference. Still, let’s not read too much into the first week of the year, nor should we make this post too long. After all, there’s many more Saturdays, all of which will be more interesting than this one.

Eastern Illinois-7, #10 Iowa-37

The SEC and Big 12 looked so crummy today that they grabbed the headlines. That’s somewhat unfair, because the Big 10 played reasonably well. I’m putting this here because the Wisconsin/UNLV game was actually fairly close, the Penn State game is further down, and all the other Big 10 teams will be lost in the shuffle of the Bottom 95.

Plus, this could be a sign that Iowa is going to be the National Champion this year! Sounds ridiculous, yes? Well, last year they made the BCS after needing a blocked field goal to beat Northern Iowa. So, logic says, this team might be even better! But, as we all know, in college football, logic has no place.

New Mexico-0, #11 Oregon-72

Look at the score. No analysis necessary. Heck, Oregon even played a 1-A team in this slaughter, too.

#12 Wisconsin-41, UNLV-21

Wisconsin actually struggled in this game, though they pulled away during the 3rd quarter. I’ll be honest, it was late, and I was about 90% asleep during this game, so analysis here is going to be spotty. How about a random thought: how hard must it be to keep football players (especially the juniors and seniors who are 21+) focused in Vegas? Just throwing it out there.

Youngstown State-14, #14 Penn State-44

1-AA cupcake game, with a predictable result, though the Penguins did have a lead at the end of the 1st. I guess the coaches were out at the nursing home picking up “head coach” Paterno during the first quarter. JoePa’s a great guy, don’t get me wrong, but he’s not the actual coach at Penn State. He doesn’t even wear a headset for crying out loud! There really ought to be a law against this sort of thing, because so long as Joe has a pulse he’ll be the coach at Penn State, which will make his records completely untouchable.

Any hoo, after the 1st, this game was all Penn State, with Youngstown trailing 44-7 before they finally added their last, meaningless, TD with 40 seconds left in the game. Come to think of it, there ought to be a law against that, too.

#16 LSU-30, #18 North Carolina-24

LSU came into this game with a distinct advantage, what with Carolina missing starters on both sides of the ball. And for the first half, everything played out as it was supposed to. Then, after halftime, the narrative took a sudden, dramatic turn at Crazyville. Maybe Butch Davis is a brilliant on-field coach, maybe Les Miles is as dumb as everyone seems to think he is, or maybe the Carolina trainers know Brian McNamee. No matter how you slice it, though, the second half was a thriller, with Carolina’s offense playing very well and with LSU’s whole team looking nothing short of lost.

Don’t get me wrong, though, LSU did do pretty well in the first half, and some exceptional play by TJ Yates in the second half was the entire reason that Carolina stayed in the game at all. As a fan of a team in the ACC, I must say that it’s a good thing they lost those starters, because if those were the backups, then this team would dominate the conference with its starters. LSU, meanwhile, shouldn’t give up hope. After all, they at least beat a team from a major conference, which is more than most SEC teams could say on this day.

South Carolina State-10, #17 Georgia Tech-41

All this game teaches us is that Georgia Tech still can’t throw the ball. They threw for 12 yards against a 1-AA team, which means that if they find themselves down late in a game again, they’d best hope they’re playing a team with a horrible run defense. Not much else can be said about this one, especially when one considers the level of competition that the Jackets were facing.

Tennessee Tech-3, #19 Arkansas-44

Bobby Petrino is right down there with Nick Saban in terms of likability. And Ryan Mallett, according to the ESPN writeup, got his Heisman campaign started by pantsing a 1-AA team. I know I harped on this during the review of Ingram’s injury, but no one commented on that post so I’ll do it again: How does one start a Heisman campaign by slaughtering a vastly inferior foe? Does anyone really think that the voters of the Downtown Athletic Club are going to look at this game in December and go, “Gee, Mallett beat up his 1-AA opponent by 41, instead of just 40. He’s outstanding!” No, they’ll probably look at Arkansas’s conference games and do with this one what I should have done: ignore it.

Samford-6, #20 Florida State-59

Another 1-AA game that went as planned. Was it just me, or did the ACC look better than the SEC today? I’m not saying that the ACC is the better of the two southern major conferences, just that they didn’t need to pull ahead of their cupcakes in the 4th quarter. Sure, the ACC lost its only major matchup of the day, and there’s a very real chance that Boise State could kill Virginia Tech, but on the aggregate, the ACC looked good against its more pathetic competition. Moving right along…

Louisiana-Lafayette-7, #21 Georgia-55

Like Arkansas, Georgia beat their cupcake the way they were supposed to. Nothing to see here, move along.

Arkansas State-26, #23 Auburn-52

Well, Auburn might have some trouble in the SEC, considering that their defense was quite porous on this particular Saturday, but it could be that Arkansas State’s offense is just that good. In retrospect, ignore everything after the comma in that last sentence, because I really shouldn’t have typed it. Auburn proved they can score on a Sun Belt team, and they’d best hope that they still can score on SEC teams, because their defense looks like it’s going to have trouble stopping anything. And let’s move to the last of the 25…

Coastal Carolina-0, #25 West Virginia-31

Well, WVU looks like they might be back. They’re also going to be one of the few Big East teams that might be “good” instead of “mediocre.” But it’s too early to tell. Now, let’s go waaaaay down to:

Tales from the Bottom 95

Let’s lead off with the best upset of week 1: Ole Miss defeated by Jacksonville State. Guess it’s a long way down from this…Tennessee defeated their cupcake in Coach Dooley’s debut, for whatever that’s worth…Kentucky beat Louisville, allowing the SEC to win at least one game against major conference competition…Kansas State beat UCLA, which isn’t a good sign for the Bruins, since they have to go to Texas later this month…Speaking of the Big 12, holy crap, what happened to Kansas?! Turner Gill’s intro to big time football did not go well…Missouri and Illinois was a thriller, pity it’s between such mediocre teams…Lastly, Jake Locker began proving me right by helping Washington lose its first game to BYU. Yeah, Jake played pretty well, but like it or not, the Heisman doesn’t go to guys on teams that lose their first game to BYU, even though BYU’s pretty good…

That’s all for this week, not least because most of the other games were simple slaughters of 1-AA teams. And Virginia Tech’s game just came on. Gotta go!

Thursday in Review (9/2/10)

Thoughts and ramblings on the first round of games, courtesy of a misanthrope (look it up!) with DirecTV...

Marshall-7, #2 Ohio State-45

Here's one of the myriad problems with week 1 of the season: most teams play "warm up" games like this one. I'm curious, though, as to why the lesser teams have to wait a week for warmups. Why doesn't everyone just find a lesser team and pummel them? Or why doesn't college football have a meaningless preseason like the NFL? Instead, we have a system where good teams that take risks are punished, while teams that take the easy road are given a leg up. Sure, Ohio State plays Miami (the good one) next week, but the rest of their nonconference schedule consists of Marshall, Ohio, and Eastern Michigan. Other schools are even worse: Texas' best nonconference foe is UCLA, Nebraska's best is Washington, and there's a host of other examples. Playing one good nonconference game should not be a license to screw around with the other 3, but in our current system this is really the only option. Think about it: Oregon State plays TCU and Boise State. If they drop those 2 games, win their other nonconference game, and sweep the Pac-10, they still go to a BCS bowl, but there's no way they'd play for the title. A playoff with conference winners (or common sense) would remedy this situation and encourage aggressive scheduling. As it stands, we're supposed to be impressed with teams "daring" to play a ranked nonconference opponent, while ignoring weak sauce games like this.

As to the game itself, what do you want? The score tells most of the story, though it was kinda cool to see Marshall run a blocked punt back for their only points. Let's move on...

Florida A&M-0, #13 Miami-45

(NOTE: No real analysis here, game was as dull as a bowling ball)

So to prepare for one another Ohio State and Miami played a mediocre Conference USA team and a decent 1-AA team, respectively. This raises more than a few questions: How is that realistic? Does anyone think that OSU and Miami's 2nd teams couldn't provide more challenge to the starters than these squads? I guess the hitting is more "realistic" with a cupcake opponent, but is that it? Are these games anything more than glorified scrimmages? If Ohio State really is the 2nd best team in the country, then how does pummeling Florida A&M serve as a preparatory step? And will I really continue with the hackneyed gimmick of asking rhetorical questions? The answer to the last one is "no."

#14 USC-49, Hawaii-36

O, how the mighty have fallen! The Southern California Trojans treated this as though it were a major win, the right way to start of the Lane Kiffin era. Really? This? Beating last year's 5th place team from the WAC? Oops, started asking questions again, my bad. Watching the game, though, it was clear that the Trojans are probably going to struggle this year. Hawaii's not anywhere near the best team that Southern Cal will play this season, and Southern Cal never really put them away until about halfway through the 4th quarter when they responded to Hawaii's late score with one of their own. Hawaii's offense kept scoring on a very porous Trojan defense, and only Hawaii's awful defense allowed Southern Cal to win the game. Fortunately for the Trojans, they play a rather pathetic nonconference schedule, meaning that they don't have any real challenges on the schedule until October, which will give the defense some desperately needed time to gel.

As to the Southern Cal offense, they proved that they could score against a WAC team which, unless that team's name is "Boise State," isn't saying much. The SC offense was well balanced, with virtually equal passing and rushing yardage. Unfortunately, they actually hung up LESS yardage than Hawaii did, though that was largely a consequence of field position. Hawaii's not a terrible team, but they're nowhere near the national threat they were considered to be in 2007, and Southern Cal will finish in the middle of the Pac-10 again if they keep playing the way they did on Thursday.

#15 Pitt-24, Utah-27

Normally I'd just riff on Utah for being a boring state, but this was actually the best game of the night by leaps and bounds. The game was a pitched battle, with both teams putting up some rather embarrassing penalty numbers while putting on a very good show. The Utahns (Utahers? Utahites? Utahonians?) who showed up to support the Utes provided a suitably hostile environment to test the Pitt Panthers, a test which the Panthers ultimately failed.

Given that I'm writing this on what is technically Saturday (it's really early...), it'd be a waste of everyone's time to try and describe the entire game. You could have watched the highlights a few hundred times by now. Instead, let's focus on the final play of regulation: the Pitt field goal to send the game into overtime. Just in case you didn't know, the Panthers were driving, trying to win/tie the game with time running out. With 3 seconds left on the clock, their kicker trotted out and nailed a 30 yard field goal. Except that Utah's coach had called a last second timeout.

So they lined it up again, he kicked it again, but this time he missed! Utah wins! Except their coach had called a timeout.

So, for a third time, Pitt kicks a field goal. This time he hits it, Utah's coach doesn't call timeout, and the game goes into OT.

Now, a few seasons ago this was a HUGE deal. Heck, coaches calling timeout to ice the kicker at the last second was such a trend during the 2007 season that it was added as a feature in EA's NCAA game for the following year. Thankfully that trend died down a bit after coaches realized that it had minimal effect on most kickers, and allowed more than a few missed kicks to be retried, therefore completely backfiring on its users. Last season there wasn't much mention of the tactic at all, a far cry from the NCAA meetings in early 2008 where a rule change was discussed to stop the rather underhanded tactic from being used. One can only hope that this trend isn't going to crop up again. Calling timeout while a kicker is on the field is one thing. Heck, one can even wait until the lines are all set. But for crying out loud, why call timeout right before the snap? It's underhanded, it's unnecessary, and most of the time it doesn't even work! Remember this one? And for crying out loud, coaches, if you're going to pull this little stunt, don't do it more than once! If Utah's coach had called one timeout, then allowed the kick, they would have won the game then and there. Instead, in a classic case of shutting the barn door after the horse has already run away, Coach Whittingham did not call timeout on Pitt's last kick, which sailed, in a very ugly line, through the uprights. The timeout tactic is simply low, and it really needs to be addressed by the NCAA somehow. I mean, come on, some of the most famous misses in college history have come after no timeouts at all!

I guess I'm making too much of it, Pitt threw an interception on the first play of OT and Utah won anyway. However, now it is time for...

Tales from the Bottom 95

I didn't announce it on here or facebook, yet, but I have a new home on the web, here's the link! I'll still post everything on here that I did on there, but the other site provides news and updates from many authors instead of just 1...What better way to kick off the season than with the historic Wake Forest/Presbyterian College game? Seriously, that was the first game of the year?...Tulane only beat their 1-AA cupcake by 6. Gonna be a looooong season in New Orleans...South Carolina took care of Southern Miss, which really is problematic. If the Gamecocks had just gone ahead and gotten upset, they wouldn't have gotten their fans' hopes up again...Quick nod to Middle Tennessee State, who held their own against Minnesota right up to the closing whistle, and very nearly won...Buffalo opened up their season (and their new coach's era) with a win...Florida Atlantic beat UAB in what was apparently a very thrilling game. I am basing this totally on the box score, though...

That's all for Thursday. Hopefully I'll be able to do one of these for Saturday as well.

News from the "Who cares?" file

If you ever needed proof that time is relative, look no further than the week before college football starts back. Time has slowed down to an intolerable crawl, and even the baseball highlights are getting recycled into an unimaginative mash of “Stephen Strasburn hurt his arm OMG!!11!!one!!” The season starts in a day and all the preview magazines and articles have exhausted their sources and their readers. As a result, all we have is this awesome news flash out of Alabama: Mark Ingram will miss the Tide’s first game!

Look, it was well known that Ingram’s cohort at tailback, Trent Richardson, will be getting several carries this year, and since ‘Bama’s first game is against San Jose State, it’s not like it really matters. The AP article on Ingram’s surgery (the above link that isn’t about special relativity) states that Ingram’s surgery could have an impact on his chances of repeating as the Heisman winner. Really? The Heisman voters are going to look at the San Jose State game as relevant to Ingram’s Heisman shot? Considering that Alabama has Penn State, Arkansas, Florida, South Carolina, Tennessee, Ole Miss, LSU, Mississippi State, and Auburn left on its schedule, I think Ingram will be OK. Oh, and if cupcake touchdowns really are a concern for Ingram and the Tide, they still have Duke and Georgia State on the schedule as well. For my money, I’d look at the games against even halfway decent foes as a heck of a lot more important than whatever Ingram does (or doesn’t do) against San Jose State.

Perhaps you’re wondering why I’m treating the surgery with such a nonchalant attitude. The reasons are twofold:

1) As mentioned above, Ingram’s backup is a danged fine running back in his own right. If this is a really serious issue, then Richardson could still easily step in and have a crushingly good season. Need proof? Look no further than this guy, who took over for a 1,000 yard rusher and turned into a 1,000 yard rusher. Yeah, the SEC defenses are better than ACC defenses, but if Alabama’s as good as everyone (including me!) thinks they are, then it shouldn’t matter. You’d have to be a blithering idiot to say that Alabama won the National Championship solely because of Mark Ingram, and his loss shouldn’t immediately stamp out all hope that the Tide can repeat (though it now provides a convenient excuse for the devil Nick Saban should he fail to win).

2) The second reason that the Ingram injury shouldn’t create too much of a panic is this: He’s been hurt once or twice before, and he’s recovered admirably. According to this nifty post, he was hurt slightly in the Auburn game last season, which didn’t stop him from scoring 3 touchdowns against Florida the next week. Like all running backs, he misses at least 4 or 5 plays per game with stingers and bruises, but he still proved outstanding in most of his games last season. Surgery’s a bit more important than a little knee stinger, but still, let’s not go crazy. Nick Saban is evil, but he’s smart. He wouldn’t have allowed Ingram to go under the knife this close to the season (and the big early game against Penn State) without knowing that Ingram will recover in time or having a backup plan. Since that backup plan includes the other guy named as the All-SEC preseason running back, I venture to say that Nick isn’t losing too much sleep over the whole affair.

In conclusion, this whole story really isn’t one until next week. At this juncture, it’s just a nuisance to football fans who just want the dang season to start. Alabama will not lose to San Jose State with or without Mark Ingram, and they’ll still be favored to beat Penn State if he has to sit out that game as well. And if Ingram’s absence does allow SJSU to defeat the Crimson Tide, then I will boil and eat my own favorite Virginia Tech hat as penance for my sins as a blogger. Until then, let’s all eagerly await the spate of fairly mediocre games headed our way on Thursday…

Preseason Polls Purportedly Possess Purpose

Apologies to everyone for the title, it seemed like a good idea at the time, I swear.

Any hoo, yesterday (August 21) the second major poll in college football was released for public consumption. Sure, there was nothing in the way of surprises (defending champion Alabama #1? Really? How daring!), but the release of these polls always creates some consternation among the college football community. Before I begin spouting inane bile, allow me to state that I see nothing egregiously wrong with the first AP poll. I agree with the positioning of just about every team in the poll, and any quibbles I have with the current AP rankings involve stuff like tweaking the team at #15 and moving them up a spot or two, moving #20 down a spot, bumping #24 to #23, etc. So...yeah, petty stuff.

No, the issue I have here is the existence of the preseason poll at all. First off, the AP Poll doesn't factor into the BCS system at all, which makes one wonder why it even exists as it matters quite literally as much as the opinions any given random blogger can espouse at any given second. So unless it exists as a form of subtle protest to the BCS system (in which case, applause to the AP), the AP Poll is the college football equivalent to the Queen of England.

Do not attempt to refute this point. Ever since the debacle in 2003-4 where the AP voted Southern California as the national champs, while the BCS (with the Coaches Poll attached) said that LSU had won the title, the AP poll has been excluded (at its members' behest) from the BCS equation. Yes, the AP still gives out its trophy, but that isn't the one that people focus on anymore. Unless the AP made a bold statement like naming Utah its 2008 national champion, there's no reason to care about the trophy given by pollsters who don't even decide who plays in the biggest 5 games of the postseason. And ever since 2004 the AP has given its national championship trophy to the same team the BCS has crowned champion, so basically any argument that the AP Poll is anything more than a barometer of sportswriters' opinions is fallacious.

Furthermore, preseason polls are often laughably inaccurate. Indeed, the only thing good about the BCS is that they don't release any polls until week 8, allowing time and games to sort out contenders from pretenders. Not so with the AP and Coaches polls, they try and predict the outcome of arguably the least predictable major sport before the season even starts. Allow me to make something clear: I DO NOT FAULT PRESEASON POLLS FOR BEING WRONG! That would be, for lack of a better term, stupid. The preseason AP Top 25 for 2009 had Oklahoma ranked 3rd. The AP could not have foreseen BYU's week 1 upset, nor the injury Sam Bradford suffered in said upset. Nor should they have been expected to. Just because someone is an "expert" does not mean that they can predict the injuries and upsets that make college football interesting. There are dozens of examples of ludicrously wrong preseason predictions, and not one of them deserves to be mocked, because predicting the outcome of any given season is an impossible task for anyone without a real, working crystal ball, and I imagine that particular band of gypsies has better things to do than predict the outcome of games.

"But Bones," you ask, "the Coaches Poll came out a few weeks ago, and it's a key component in determining the BCS champion." Yes, that is true, which brings us to an even more troubling point. While the preseason polls are frequently inaccurate, it's actually worse for college football fans when they're right. The fact of the matter is that preseason polls often determine the contents of a championship game months in advance of the actual game. Texas and Alabama were 2 of the 5 teams that went undefeated in college football last season, yet they made the national title game because they had the advantage of being #2 and #5 in the initial coaches poll instead of #16, #17, and unranked (TCU, Boise State, and Cincinnati respectively). Look, I'm aware of the fact that Texas and Alabama play in much tougher conferences than the other teams in question here, but a team must be given a chance to prove itself among the elite! Otherwise, college football is nothing more than an elitist club that won't allow teams to play in big games unless they were good in the 1960's and are still good today (or are mediocre today, but were good in the 1960's. I am looking at you, Notre Dame).

Let's use this coming season as an example: Given the way this season is scheduled, the following scenario is a reality: Alabama, Ohio State, Boise State, Texas, and TCU could all run the table. They're all in different conferences, and none of them play one another. So, keeping it simple, let's assume that just these 5 teams go undefeated. Who gets the chance to win the ugly crystal football? Alabama, obviously. They play in the murderous SEC. Who else do you send? Don't dwell on it too much. It doesn't matter, because 3 other teams which started the season in the Top 10 get screwed.

The bottom line is this, the existence of preseason polls is really not good for anyone. It's not good for writers or coaches who get lampooned when their predictions are wrong, it's not good for schools whose fates are often decided before the first snap of the season, and it's not good for fans of teams outside the Top 25, who know that they don't have a chance at getting a national title barring about 25 separate miracles occurring in a 12 week span. The only groups that this current poll benefits are people attached to Alabama and Ohio State, because no one else controls their own destiny. If you disagree with that statement, find yourself a Boise State, TCU, or Cincinnati fan and ask them. Yet, within our grasp, their lies a solution to this problem: it's called a playoff. If you're a member of the BCS Committee, look it up.

Mike Leach thinks people can't read, have amnesia

Perhaps you're wondering how I drew the rather brash and accusatory conclusion present in the title. Well, here's a link: these words right here. Let's analyze, shall we?

For those of you who missed it, Mike Leach lost his job near the end of last season when it was revealed that he might have locked a kid with a concussion in a closet. He's denied doing anything wrong, but he got fired anyway, probably because basically every piece of evidence seems to point to him doing something wrong. Yeah, the timing was convenient for Texas Tech, but I highly doubt that the school was trying to avoid an $800,000 payout to Leach when you consider that this is the same school that signed Tommy Tuberville to a contract paying $1.5 million a year for 5 years. Plus, these accusations were leveled against Coach Leach during a semi-successful season, which adds to their validity because the people who did so didn't wait for Texas Tech to have a 2-10 season unlike some fans I could mention.

Yes, I'm aware of the whole "innocent until proven guilty" bit, but in the same regard that you don't let someone accused of a DUI run a bar, you don't let a guy accused of player abuse coach a team. Well, you shouldn't, but if a school gets desperate enough, they'll do it. Still, assuming that the whole "locking someone in a closet despite having no medical training, nor any authority to do so" stays in the sport's collective memory for a bit, Leach's comments are kinda funny.

First off, note that the first line that somehow draws a loose association between Leach and Hemingway. Sure, Leach didn't write that line, but if he sued Texas Tech for "defamatory statements" then he should sue the AP for comparing him to one of the craziest guys in literary history.

Let me also make it clear that Mike Leach is pretty clearly already insane. The guy's got a rather unhealthy obsession with pirate memorabilia, a rather unhealthy obsession with passing, and a rather unhealthy disdain for defense. But, rather than force you to read a massive pile of words, let's just establish the sheer ludicrousness of the CBS College Sports Network manager Steve Herbst saying "We are going to insist that [Leach] be himself. There are no limitations on what Mike can or cannot talk about." Mr. Herbst, on the off chance that you read this blog: WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! The guy who once told his players that they were too concerned with their "fat little girlfriends" is not someone to whom you give a license to say whatever he wants. That's just not a good idea!

Perhaps I'm making too much of a deal about this. I mean, in the interest of full disclosure, this article does also make it clear that Leach is going to be doing mostly Conference USA games, meaning that if he does say something egregious (look it up!) then he'll only be heard by relatively few people until SI, ESPN, or Yahoo gets ahold of the tape, at least.

In conclusion, Mike Leach probably shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a microphone, or even near a stadium. A guy with a history of verbal abuse who has also been accused of physical abuse is not the kind of individual I'd want near college kids, even as an announcer. If that sounds harsh, keep in mind that I'd have sung a very different song had Leach apologized for any of the wrongs mentioned above. Being repentant and wanting a second chance is one thing; being unrepentant and expecting to be handed a second chance is quite another. Everyone deserves a shot to clear their name, but they have to admit that they were wrong first, something that Mike Leach is either incapable or unwilling to do at this juncture.

The Dangers of Ignoring Details

I don’t know that any of you follow the Sporting News. I occasionally make that mistake, if only to remind myself that ESPN became the Worldwide Leader in Schlock because it’s the least of all the evils in sports journalism (usually). Anyway, the Sporting News has been doing a rundown of each individual conference’s nonconference schedule, and this exercise reached its peak sometime a while back when this analysis of the Pac-10 was released.

Now, before I begin tearing into intrepid writer Matt Hayes’ fluff, let’s all be clear on a few things. First off, almost every Division 1-A school (I refuse to use the term “FBS”) has a nonconference schedule that is best described as a joke. Aside from regional rivalry games (Florida State vs. Florida, Georgia Tech vs. Georgia, etc.) and the occasional nationally televised matchup (Virginia Tech vs. Boise State, LSU vs. UNC) nonconference schedules consist of big schools crushing a pathetic Directional Tech in the name of “warming up.” Western Carolina University (my alma mater) has, in the last 4 seasons, played Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Florida State, and Vanderbilt. The Catamounts have been outscored 273-22 in those 5 games, none of which would have provided any of the teams involved with anything even resembling a “realistic” opponent. Heck, Vandy beat Western by 45. All of the other schools in D-1AA have similar stories. Nonconference schedules have become incredibly anemic for most schools in the country, largely to remove threats from outside the conference, which would hurt a team’s chance of going undefeated, which, in turn, would kill a team’s chance at winning a national title.

To continue pummeling this already deceased horse, I will point out that Virginia Tech’s shot at a national title died on September 5 last season. Sure, no one knew it at the time, but even if the Hokies had gone undefeated for the remainder of the season (they didn’t, but this is my fantasy world, dang it!) they would have still been excluded from the title game due to their loss on the third night of the season, because only 2 teams get to have a shot at the national title under the current system! If only there were a way to determine what two teams should play one another via a competitive bracket of the best teams in college football. Oh, wait, THERE IS.

The second point I’d like to make in this little bit of pre-analysis (yeah, this is the prelude, sorry.) is that the writer of this article is Matt Hayes. Matt Hayes is a Pac-10 apologist. He is the Saint Augustine of the Pac-10. (Look it up!) Hayes wrote an article back in 2007 saying that was the year Southern Cal should have made the championship game. If you didn’t know, that was the year they lost to Stanford 24-23. Hayes’ argument? That Southern Cal was playing the best football in the country “at the time of the national championship game.” Yeah, because THAT’S the criterion for making the national title game. Not winning all your games, no. Playing the best football in November and December, that’s the ticket. Never mind losing in September or October. Now, let’s rip the article…(Handy link, just in case you didn’t keep that one open)

In the opening lines, you may notice this quote: “…we praise the Pac-10 for competing and wonder why everyone else can’t keep up.” Unfortunately for himself, at the end of the article Mr. Hayes has posted summaries of the nonconference schedules for each conference. Yes, the Pac-10 has the highest number of games against BCS foes and the fewest number of games against non-BCS foes, but let’s not kid ourselves here. I shall now include a list of the teams the Pac-10 schools will be playing from other BCS conferences (including, for no good reason, Notre Dame):

Louisville, Kansas State, Texas, Syracuse, Nebraska, Virginia, Minnesota, Notre Dame (2 schools), Iowa, Oklahoma State, Wake Forest, Tennessee, Colorado, Wisconsin

So there you have it. Of those 14 teams, 3 might be considered boot-shaking-fear worthy (Texas, Nebraska, and a very charitable nod to Iowa). Heck, half of the teams on that list didn’t make bowls last year (exactly half, 7 of 14)! My point? Is beating up on bottom feeders in a BCS conference any better than crushing schools from non-BCS conferences? The answer is a resounding “NO!” Heck, the two best teams on Oregon State’s nonconference schedule are non-BCS teams!

As I know some deranged westerners will accuse me of “East Coast bias,” I went ahead and looked up the ACC’s nonconference schedule. In a somewhat ironic twist, they play more nonconference games per-team because they have a larger conference. The results? Well, the ACC only plays 19 of its 48 nonconference games against BCS foes, but there are far more real threats on the schedule. Compare the Pac-10′s paltry 3 good nonconference foes to the ACC’s 7 (Oklahoma, Florida, LSU, Ohio State, Alabama, Southern Cal, and admittedly charitable nods to Cincinnati and West Virginia) and Mr. Hayes’ argument starts to fall apart. Factor in the fact that an ACC team also plays Boise State, another goes on a road trip to Auburn, and a third plays the mighty Catamounts of Western Carolina (I kid!) and it seems downright silly to praise the Pac-10 for theoretically tough scheduling.

This is getting long, so I’ll gloss over a few more points. Hayes also put the number of 1-AA foes that the conferences are playing. In the same article on how the Pac-10 has a tough schedule, he points out that they play the second highest proportion of 1-AA teams! Just because you play a tough team doesn’t give you the right to schedule a cupcake! To prove I’m not a hypocrite, I will harp on my own team: Virginia Tech shouldn’t play James Madison just because they have the guts to play Boise the week before! It doesn’t work that way! Well, actually it does. See, the lack of a playoff encourages garbage like this. It’s sad, really.

Finally (I promise), Hayes includes a list of the Top 5 nonconference games at the very end of his article on the Pac-10. Now, I may be way off here on the east coast, but am I the only one who isn’t exactly psyched for, well, ANY of those games? Nebraska vs. Washington? Really? Once again, might be an East Coast thing, but has everyone west of the Mississippi drunk the Jake Locker Kool-Aid? The guys 9-20. Gah, I can’t wait for the season to start…

Florida Closes Practice, Opens Name-Calling

So I was tooling around on the Internet today and I found this little gem.

So Pope Urban (so named due to his once-close proximity to St. Timmy of Gainesville) closed off the Florida Swap Lizards' practices, eh? According to this ESPN article, the Gators closed their practice to protect the team from "internet people" and "scumbags." As an Internet person and a scumbag, I take offense to this. Florida football players don't need protection from me. If it's anything like high school, then it should be the other way around.


OK, OK, OK. I know what Urban meant. He was trying to "protect" his players from people who grab autographs solely to sell them. Noble, I guess, but it's not like they can control kids' lives 24/7. Mind you, according to Urban, they're doing their darndest: "'We can't live the players' lives, but we can certainly do the best we can,' he told the newspaper. 'You should have the right as a player to walk from here to there without being bothered.'"


*Sigh* Urban, do you really think that in today's sports-addicted world, that it's possible for a college student at a big-name school to go anywhere without some sort of harassment? I'm not saying it's right, I'm merely saying that protecting college students from publicity hounds is something of a lost cause. Oh, and Urban apparently thinks that he's protecting these guys from unscrupulous agents and their runners. See, the problem with that theory is this: Do you think that agents give their "clients" wads of illicit cash at practice? If so, please, please inform these people that they are the worst illegal agents in the world. One of Florida's former players, Maurkice Pouncey, is currently facing charges that he accepted somewhere around $100,000 in illegal funds. So maybe Urban's less concerned with the "internet people" carousing around and more concerned with covering his own backside.


Why the cynical outlook, you ask? Well, you see, children, with St. Timmy gone, it's time for Urban to close ranks and do his best to keep the news coming out of Florida positive. Tim Tebow is a stand-up individual. I have absolutely no desire to decry and denounce him, nor do I have some weird desire to see him crumble and fall at the professional level. He did, however, provide the Florida felons with a super-convenient front. You see, under Urban Meyer, 22 Florida football players have been arrested for various crimes. Now, as far as I'm concerned, if the violations at Southern Cal were worthy of a 2 year postseason ban (they were), then having 22 of your players (some of them quite high brow) arrested for actual crimes against other people is grounds for a firing. In short, without the golden boy of college football to keep the press cameras pointed away from the swampy underbelly of the Gators, look for Florida to be one heck of a lot more closed off from the national media. Oh, well. At least the season starts soon and the general public can go back to ignoring crimes committed by players and back to focusing on the gridiron. Not that that's acceptable, but let's save the cultural commentary for later, shall we?