Saturday in Review 10/23/10

Back when I started following college football, I realized that most weeks in the sport only featured 1 or 2 upsets of any size. But there was always one week wherein nothing went according to plan and several top 25 teams lost, and those weeks were always the most fun to watch. Fortunately, for those of us who love chaos in the BCS, thanks to the growing parity in college football, now there's 3 or 4 weeks wherein nothing goes according to plan. Need proof? Look no further than this week, which provided 7 ranked teams losing (3 to unranked opponents), and 3 more suffering scares at the hands of inferior competition. This will be a fun one to write! (SIDE NOTE: We're switching to BCS Rankings for the Saturdays in Review from here to the end of the season. Adjust your "This guy's a pompous moron" settings accordingly.)

#1 Oklahoma-27, #11 Missouri-36

Here we have another game that was similar to last week's loss by Ohio State. Namely, we have a #1 team that looked rather hopelessly lost for most of the game, while a plucky upstart school from the same conference shows up in force to bring down Goliath. In this case, the Colossus with feet of clay was the Oklahoma Sooners, who put together one good drive in the first quarter, one good drive in the second quarter, and one good drive in the 3rd quarter. Now, if Oklahoma had a world beating defense, then 21 points on decent drives plus six more at the very end would be enough. Unfortunately, this is the same Oklahoma defense that allowed 24 points to Utah State to start the year. Yes, Utah State is better than they've normally been, but that still doesn't excuse Oklahoma's rather porous defense. The Sooners were lucky to have escaped from the Red River Shootout with a win, and they didn't get lucky again. Oklahoma, however, benefits from being in a pretty bad division. How bad? Well, Baylor is currently leading the Big 12 South. Let that sink in for a bit.

Let's not belittle Missouri, however. The Tigers played an excellent game, and they actually look like competitors for the national title. Mind you, they did back in 2008, too, and we all remember how that turned out. Mizzou and Utah are the quietest of the undefeated squads left, since the remaining undefeateds are (in current BCS order): a traditional SEC power school, an upstart Pac-10 team that scores about 100 points per game, the most famous BCS buster ever, the 2nd most famous BCS buster ever, and a team known primarily for scoring on fake special teams plays and giving its coach a heart attack. Then comes Missouri, then Alabama, then Utah. Missouri can't let up, however, with a game against Nebraska coming up, which has actually become the de facto Big 12 North Championship game, barring something bizarre happening.

#6 LSU-17, #4 Auburn-24

Les Miles finally ran out of black magic in his hat, and LSU finally lost because of it. And it was still close. At least I don't have to use the kitten gag again. Allow me to emphasize once more that LSU is the single luckiest team on the face of the planet, with Auburn possibly coming a close second. Dang it, it's hard to write about a game that was neither a runaway nor particularly interesting. LSU was finally taken down, though they survived most of the land mines in their schedule. What does that mean for those of us who love college football? Well, the way this season's going, we can realistically expect to see LSU in a bowl game. We could also realistically expect to see them wind up in some obscure bowl game after they drop to Alabama, Ole Miss, and Arkansas, and beat UL-Lafayette on a last-second field goal block.

In a related story, who the frick do I cheer for in November 6th's Alabama/LSU game? Seriously, that's a major issue: On the one hand, I hate Nick Saban. On the other hand, I also hate watching teams pull wins out of their butt. Thanks to silly rules, they can't tie, so please write in the comments section whom you feel I should cheer for. Also, Auburn looks to have a pretty clear path to the Alabama game, considering they play Ole Miss (losing record), Chattanooga (1-AA team), and Georgia (mediocre) before the Iron Bowl. But, then again, I've been wrong before...

Air Force-7, #5 TCU-38

Well, this was supposed to be a test for the Horned Frogs. To put it succinctly, it was not. Air Force, like so many schools TCU has played this season, stuck relatively close to the Horned Frogs for a quarter, then got snowed under as TCU yanked away for the remainder of the game. I'm legitimately curious to see the TCU/Utah game in 2 weeks. However, this coming week TCU will be playing UNLV. No, it's not a trap game, and TCU's second team could probably beat the Rebels. So...look for a short review for TCU next week.

#7 Michigan State-35, Northwestern-27

Michigan State narrowly escaped becoming last year's Iowa team by getting out of Northwestern with a win. It seems that the mark of an upstart team is jumping out to a big lead and failing to hold it. NC State pulled the stunt a few weeks ago with Virginia Tech, and Northwestern pulled it this week. The Wildcats aren't nearly as bad as they used to be, but they're still not anywhere in the neighborhood of great. Michigan State stands alone as the lone undefeated in the Big 10, and that may not stick around when they play Iowa this week...

#8 Alabama-41, Tennessee-10

Thanks to the twisted logic of college football, a loss in October means less than a loss in November or December. Look at it this way: Alabama is hovering as the top ranked one loss team. Now, even if South Carolina drops the remainder of their games to make Alabama's loss look as bad as possible, and Oregon, Michigan State, Missouri, and Auburn all drop a game, Alabama will still get taken over either Boise State or TCU or Utah. And when this invariably happens, I shall rend my garments and wail loudly.

Tennessee, meanwhile, is in a massive mess (duh). They're recovering from firing Phil Fulmer and having frat boy Lane Kiffin bail on them. Hopefully the Nazi references (no, that is not a joke, as much as I wish it was) will be the low point for the Volunteers. But methinks there's some troubled times ahead in Knoxville...

Colorado State-6, #9 Utah-59

Utah is a boring state, and teams like Colorado State are the reason that Utah and TCU get no respect. Yes, the top end of the Mountain West is very strong, stronger than the ACC or Big East's top teams. But the bottom end of the MWC is extremely bad, and until they shape up, teams like TCU aren't going to get the respect they deserve based solely on their conference schedule. It's not necessarily right (see also: whoever wins the Big East goes to a BCS bowl, despite the fact that the best possible record a team from the Big Least can have is 10-2) but that's the way it is.

Purdue-0, #10 Ohio State-49

You know, Purdue was 2-0 in the Big 10 coming into this matchup. Mind you, that was against Northwestern (not great just yet) and Minnesota (outright bad), and the Horseshoe is a tough place to win as the road team. I guess that's why Ohio State plays eight (!) home games this season. Explain to me how that's fair! I know teams are entitled to have home field advantage, but no team should have more than 7 home games per season. There really needs to be a rule against this sort of thing, otherwise teams will try and pull it off year after year.

The Big 10 has blessedly become muddled, with Michigan State emerging at the front. Ohio State might be the best team in the conference, but we're forced to accept that as theory, thanks to the Big 10's lack of a title game. In conclusion, there's no good way to evaluate the Big 10 right now, and thanks to their pathetic nonconference schedule we won't really know anything until bowl season. Yes, I know I harp on that a lot. Get over it, and if you're a Big 10 team, try playing some real nonconference opponents and I'll stop complaining.

Washington State-28, #12 Stanford-38

Stanford is decent, and they're probably the best football team in the state of California right now. Wazzu still sucks. It's a long, long way from the days of Ryan Leaf. Then again, that's not entirely bad.

#13 Wisconsin-31, #15 Iowa-30

Oy, I meant to post this on Tuesday, so I'll try and cycle through these last ones quickly. Iowa nearly made Wisconsin join South Carolina as a team that beat #1 then crapped out on the road. Unfortunately for the Hawkeyes, this year's Iowa team isn't that much different from last year's, it's just that this year Iowa isn't catching every single lucky break that they possibly can. So Iowa will wind up finishing in the upper-middle of the Big 10, while Wisconsin looks like a solid pick for 2nd or 3rd, especially since they went on the road and won in Iowa City. Uhhhh...that's all I got.

#16 Nebraska-51, #14 Oklahoma State-41

Thank you, Nebraska. Thank you for saving college football at large from having to hear about the wonders of the Oklahoma State. The Cowboys very nearly pulled the wool over our eyes AGAIN, but fortunately Nebraska allowed us all to realize, "Hey, Oklahoma State's best win is when they beat Texas Tech in Lubbock. And that's not good!"

As for Nebraska, what the heck happened to that vaunted Blackshirt defense? Seriously, you gave up 41 points! If you still had last year's offense, you would have lost! Just something to consider going into this week, when you have to play Missouri: a rival team with a meaningful win under its belt. Good luck.

Washington-14, #18 Arizona-44

Jake Locker continues his Heisman campaign with an amazing 183 yard performance and one touchdown. It must be wondered aloud how the Downtown Athletic Club could possibly consider such unmentionables as Cam Newton, LaMichael James, and Kellen Moore, when Jake Locker is able to bless football fields with the gifts of his presence. Consider this: Jake Locker is on pace to win as many conference championships AND national championships as the Matt Ryan! That fact alone should really make silly things like statistics and win/loss records fly out the window!

Arizona, meanwhile continues to look like the 2nd best team in the Pac-10. Yes, the Oregon State loss was bad, but Arizona's actually looked pretty good in their other games. I guess we'll see how good Arizona is soon; they have a road trip to UCLA, followed by a road trip to Stanford, a game against ineligible USC, a road trip to Oregon, and a home game against Arizona State. Tough times, we'll see if the Wildcats can handle it.

Iowa State-28, #19 Texas-21

Texas really boggles the mind. They looked mediocre for their early games before they got pantsed by UCLA. Then they got beaten by Oklahoma in a thriller and pulled off the upset against Nebraska. Then they lost at home to friggin' Iowa State. Iowa State?! Texas has lost 3 of its last 4 games, and their lone victory in that streak is really starting to look like a major outlier. (Look it up.) It seems that any time Mack Brown loses a high-brow quarterback, the next season his team suffers. See the difference between 2005 (Vince Young) and 2006 (Colt McCoy's first season). So...let's look forward to seeing Texas come back sometime in 2011. This year, look for them to make a low-tier bowl, thanks to games remaining against Baylor (whom they'll upset out of spite), Kansas State (same as Baylor), and Florida Atlantic. They might lose the other two, but at this point no one outside of Austin really cares.

Syracuse-19, #20 West Virginia-14

Oh, Big East. Thank you so much. Thank you for providing the media with a more convenient punching bag than my own personal conference of preference, the ACC. The ACC is not good at football, but you, Big East, you are simply bad. There's something to be said for parity in conferences, but the Big East has a mediocre nonconference record to go with its muddled picture. Pitt, the same Pitt that's 4-3, got smoked by Miami, and lost to Notre Dame, is leading the conference with a 2-0 record. There's a very real chance that the Big East could send a team to a BCS bowl and only have 3 others be bowl eligible. ESPN's Big East blogger released a post on that very scenario today (Wednesday). Read that post, if for no other reason than the comments. It never ceases to amaze me how die hard fans can choose to believe their teams are better than they really are, to the point of altering the fabric of reality. Let's roll on.

#21 South Carolina-21, Vanderbilt-7

South Carolina got back on the right track against a very bad team. It was a conference game, so I can't rip them. Nothing to see here, move along.

#22 Kansas State-42, Baylor-47

Defense optional football. Confusing situations regarding who the actual best team in the conference is. The Big 12 has both of those problems, and it's probably just poetic justice. See, this right here is what should happen to teams that schedule mostly pathetic nonconference opponents.

Honestly, I hope Baylor does win the Big 12 South. It'll take a series of miracles: win at Texas (minor miracle), win at Oklahoma State (major miracle), beat Oklahoma in the season closer (Hand of God Himself). Alternately, they can hope for several losses for their other opponents in the Big 12 South. Either way, Baylor is bowl-eligible and ranked, which might actually be a sign of the apocalypse in and of itself.

Mississippi-24, #23 Arkansas-38

Arkansas has no defense. Mississippi has no team. Moving on.

UAB-24, #24 Mississippi State-29

UAB is probably better than we all thought they were. Yeah, they're 2-5, but they've taken Tennessee to double OT, and only narrowly lost to Mississippi State. Maybe they should move to the SEC. They've hung in about as many SEC games as Vandy thus far...

Duke-7, #25 Virginia Tech-44

Well, feels good to type the Hokies' name up there again, but it's really hard to read anything into Duke games. The most important part for those of us who wear maroon and orange is that this means Frank Beamer's bowl streak is intact. Mind you, if Tech goes into the postseason with 6 wins they'll go to, like, the Music City Bowl. Or one of the many bowl slots that the Big East won't fill. Duke, at least, is still bad. Some habits apparently die hard. And now...

Tales from the Bottom 95

Cincinnati is below .500 over halfway through the season, yet they can still mathematically make a 3rd straight BCS bowl by winning their conference...Penn State beat Minnesota, after which the Gophers' coach was fired...Temple is bowl eligible for the second straight season. Good job Owls!...Hats off to Washington State and Minnesota, the only 2 teams in AQ conferences who are bowl ineligible as of this week...Louisville looks like they might make a very big splash in the puddle that is the Big East, which is impressive due to their sucking the last 3 seasons or so...Clemson hammered Georgia Tech. The Yellow Jackets are a shadow of the team that pretty much dominated the ACC last season. Now that I've typed that, they'll go into Blacksburg and beat Virginia Tech by 40...Georgia has recovered from its bad start to get back to .500. Nice job by the Dawgs...Miami scored 30 unanswered points to beat Carolina 33-10. Tell me the Tar Heels don't miss their defensive players...Hawaii had to go to Utah State. Poor Warriors. Leaving Hawaii in October to go to Utah? That seems unfair. Might explain why they beat the Aggies 45-7...Lastly, Western Carolina lost the Battle for the Old Mountain Jug to archrival Appalachian State this weekend. That's unsurprising, honestly...

That's all for this week. Hope to see you next time!

Oregon vs. UCLA

UCLA-13, #2 Oregon-60

Well, let's not mince words: Oregon's offense is unreal. I mean, if you're looking for an offense that is just plain fun to watch (so long as you're not on the opposing team) then look no further. Right now the 2 of you who willingly slog through my novel-sized Saturdays in Review are saying, "Bones, last week you whined and complained like a pathetic little schoolgirl about the Auburn/Arkansas score because you claim to like 'defensive football.' Now you're telling me that this fifty some-odd point per game offense is 'fun to watch.' You're a hypocrite who uses too many run-on sentences and/or sentence fragments depending on the week!"

Allow me to address these complaints: First off, hi, Mom. Sorry about all of the misplaced commas.

Secondly, I did not say that I don't appreciate a good offense. I just hate watching bad defense. 65-43 is not good offense. It's really just awful defense on both sides' part. Oregon's offense takes good defenses and shreds them. UCLA didn't look bad on defense. Their players were doing everything they needed to, tackling and going to the football with speed and aggressiveness. They were actually tackling for the most part (no team does 100% of the time). The Ducks were just finding holes in the UCLA line, and the game was out of hand by the end of the first half.

I know I'm gonna sound like Lee Corso here as I point out the stupidly obvious, but every defense has holes. It is a physical impossibility for a defense to cover all 53.3 yards of the field's width AND however many yards of the field's length lay between the line of scrimmage and the goal line. The best defenses cover their general area, and they slow down or stop offenses by knocking down passes and tackling running backs as quickly as they possibly can. Unless a defense is playing a team that is utterly inferior to them, they won't hold their opponents to 0 yards or less. It happens, but it's rare. So rare, in fact, that even slaughter games usually feature at least some offense of some sort from the team on the losing end. The Alabama Crimson Tide, for example, have a top-10 defense in terms of points and yards allowed. Yet even lowly Duke scored 13 on the Tide starters in a 62-13 snore fest.

To put it another way, defenses are the equivalent of playing with the black pieces in chess. For you non-chess players out there, black goes second. The black pieces are forced to be reactionary until white makes a mistake and black is able to take the initiative. Defense is, by its very nature, reactionary. The offense determines the style of the game; a triple option offense forces the opposing defense to play differently than they would against a spread. A 4-3 defense does not make a triple option team begin passing the football. Furthermore, a quick offensive change will normally net points or yards and force a defense to make changes, whereas a quick defensive change might net points, but will usually just create a stop or cause a turnover. That's certainly not a bad thing, but it doesn't show up on the scoreboard, which means that the average fan who just looks at scores for teams that he doesn't root for will not really notice it. Even the most mediocre offenses will score (Last place San Jose State scores about 9 points per game), and even the best defenses will allow points (Sheer coincidence: 1st place TCU allows about 9 points per game).

Somewhere in there, there's a point. And that point is that an offense like Oregon's is not remarkable because they score, but because of how much they score. (Duh.) They find holes like no offense I've seen, and in doing so they make the defenses they face look silly. Oregon's backups scored a touchdown in 4 plays on UCLA's starters in the 4th quarter. The Ducks didn't punt until 6:31 in the 4th. Most terrifying of all, the Ducks' defense is good, too. They're not big, but they're quick. Oregon is the front runner in a good Pac-10, but the road is not without pitfalls. Next Saturday's trip to Southern Cal, a game against a good Arizona squad, and the rivalry game with Oregon State are all big games for the Ducks, but there's a very real chance that Autzen's favorite team could play in the National Title game. There's also a chance they wind up in the Holiday Bowl if they lose all 3 of those games, so I guess we'll all just have to wait and see.

Some random notes from the game: Oregon's uniforms are still ugly...UCLA did do one thing offensively: they finally scored on Oregon in the 4th quarter. Mind you, that was against the Ducks' backups, but life's little victories are what keeps us all going...Does it seem cruel to anyone else to make the Duck mascot do pushups for every point?...Why do commentators insist on reminding us that Southern Cal has "found their rhythm?" What sense does that make? Yeah, they've lost 2 of their last 3, but they beat a .500 team in Cal! Southern California: football powerhouse. Give me a break!...And that's it for now. Sorry to any UCLA fans who are offended by their team's 4 mentions in this 900 word article, but if your team had shown up I wouldn't have had to write all about Oregon. Here's looking forward to Saturday!

Saturday in Review 10/16/10

The chill rolls in, the leaves change colors, the pretenders separate from the contenders, and I still sneer and complain about the Big 10's strength of schedule. Gotta love October.

#1 Ohio State-18, #16 Wisconsin-31

Wisconsin jumped out to a 21-0 lead on the Buckeyes, and that is a surefire recipe to get yourself taken out of the game (see Texas v. Nebraska further below). Ohio State looked like the underdog in Madison on Saturday night, and they only ever resembled a #1 team for a brief period in the late third and early fourth quarters, when they held Wisconsin scoreless and pulled within three points of the Badgers. Then they allowed a touchdown and a field goal, which sort of undid all the good done by their little scoring spurt. My point? Well, it's not easy being #1 right now, and thankfully the Big 10 has beaten up on itself handily enough that we don't have to see their representative get clocked in the national title game unless something REALLY weird happens this season. "Get clocked?" you ask indignantly. Yeah, I don't think the Big 10 is prepared to go up against good nonconference competition, especially when you consider that they haven't played any to begin with. No, I do not care what you say about the Oregon/Ohio State game last season. That's the beauty of college football. Last season at this time, Florida looked well on their way to a national title. Now they're a 3 loss team. Things change. (NOTE: Not all things. Our next game proves that.)

#3 Boise State-48, San Jose State-0

A game that isn't really as close as it looks. This one was 41-0 at the half, and Boise State put in their backups for most of the second half. They'll continue to throttle opponents like this for the forseeable future, in a desperate bid to gain a spot in the Top 2 in the BCS. I fully condone and endorse this manipulation of the system, as it might nauseate enough people to get us a playoff.

It really must suck to be San Jose State, considering their schedule dragged them through the wringer, forcing them to play 5 ranked teams in their first 7 games. Add to the mixture that they're one of the worst football teams in the nation, and you have a giant headache for the Spartans, who could realistically go 1-11 considering that they're 1-1 against 1-AA teams this season, and there's no more Southern Utah's on the schedule.

Texas-20, #4 Nebraska-13

Nebraska faced a huge test at home, against a team that looked to be on the downward slide. And they simply didn't pass the test. Honestly, this looked like a flashback of last season's Nebraska team, with the Huskers defense holding up their end of the bargain, whilst the offense looked mostly lost. Texas only gained 69 more yards than Nebraska on offense, but Nebraska sputtered early and never really drove particularly well. No matter what team you play for, giving your opponent a 10-0 head start 5 minutes into the game is not a recipe for success.

Don't let the score fool you, this game probably should have been 20-6 or 20-9 at best for Nebraska. Their lone touchdown came from a punt return, Taylor Martinez looked like a freshman, and Nebraska shot itself in the foot repeatedly as they racked up 94 yards in penalties, many of those at unbelievably crucial times. In short, this wasn't the "perfect storm" that sportscasters so often mention (too much, I might add) but it was a mixture of good preparation in the bye week by Texas, and a few too many mistakes for Nebraska. Sad, as I was hoping to see the Huskers roll into the title game. Still, one less obstacle to Boise State I suppose...

BYU-3, #5 TCU-31

TCU started out relatively slowly in this one, but they eventually got the job done. BYU, however, is a shell of their former selves, and that's something that voters are acutely aware of. Like it or not, TCU will probably lose at least one spot in the rankings this week, simply because they "only" won by 28. It's not right, but apparently TCU and Boise are expected to slaughter opponents to stay in the same place in the rankings, while Auburn squeaking past Kentucky last week by 3 is grounds for them to move up a slot in the polls. Explain, please.

Iowa State-0, #6 Oklahoma-52

Iowa State is the Big 12 equivalent of Duke in the ACC or Vandy in the Big East. The occasional big upset, but normally a punching bag of the top tier teams. Oklahoma is now the front-runner for the Big 12 Championship. So I guess everything old is new again. Disregard whatever moron said that "things change" crap on the Ohio State game.

#13 Arkansas-43, #7 Auburn-65

A major disaster from the defensive perspective. I mean, we're talking a breakdown of epic proportions here. Ryan Mallett getting hurt was pretty much the best defensive play either of these teams made in this game. Since there's not much more to say about the game itself, (I mean, this thing comes out late enough that you'll have had the chance to watch the game on ESPNU during their replays on Monday and Tuesday) allow me to use the remaining space here to rant:

I hate this style of football. High scoring, high flying football just does nothing for me. I think it's because the scoring isn't so much the result of super talented offenses (remember, this is the same Arkansas team that managed a whopping 20 points on the same Alabama team that surrendered 35 to South Carolina the next week) than as a result of poor defense. If you have an offense that can steamroll everyone, fine. I am not going to fault you for scoring 60 some-odd points on a team that, in theory, can't stop you. Boise State, for example, has to do that to even stay competitive. No, my problem is with the defenses. Most of these points can be laid at the feet of poor tackling. Arm tackles do not work. Ever. Michigan lost to App State in part because they thought they could wrap up smaller players with arm tackles. Of the 3 touchdowns Wake Forest scored against Virginia Tech on Saturday, 2 were on long runs that should have been stopped earlier, had the defensive player actually wrapped up his man instead of trying to give him a passing hug. And how many times have you seen a player going for a big hit mistime the strike and let a man through? Or get blocked on his way? It happens frequently at all levels of football. Big hits are unnecessary, they're just nice add ons. I don't care what a defensive stop looks like, I just care that the stop is made.

Let's put this another way: German Admiral Alfred von Tirpitz once said that the primary purpose of a warship is to remain afloat. Well, the primary purpose of a defense is to tackle. Wrap up the legs and you can stop anyone. No, those bone jarring hits that give players concussions and lead to 40 year old former players drooling in their chairs like advanced Alzheimer's patients don't happen. So what? If your team wins a national title by winning every game 14-3, is that any worse than winning every game 42-35? Oh, you'll be labeled "boring" if your defense just tackles instead of sending people to the hospital. WHO FRIGGIN' CARES?! Stop going for big hits or cheap arm tackles and just wrap the man up using your entire body! It's that simple! Either that, or I'm just a cranky old man caught in a 24 year old's body.

Ole Miss-10, #8 Alabama-23

Look, you just read a lot of words up there. So I'm going to keep this one short-ish and vaguely sweet. This surprises no one. I am still of the opinion that Alabama is one of the 4 best teams in the country. Meaning that they'd make the final four if we had a playo--I sound like a broken record, don't I? Any hoo, my one issue here is with the title on the ESPN recap of the game. "Alabama rebounds?" Really? The Tide didn't look that good, and let's not forget that Ole Miss lost to their 1-AA cupcake in their first game this year (Yeah, they didn't even have the (invalid) "we were tired" excuse that Virginia Tech did). So let's not call this a "rebound." "Expected" might be a better word. And Ole Miss...welcome back to reality. We've missed you down here.

McNeese State-10, #9 LSU-32

Until they actually lose a game, I am officially giving up on trying to analyze LSU. This team gives me fits to a degree that you cannot imagine. This is a 7-0 team that's in the Top 10 that should probably be 4-3 and unranked at best. So you know what? In lieu of an LSU review, here is a picture of a kitten.

#10 Utah-30, Wyoming-6

Utah is apparently more boring than Wyoming. How do I draw this conclusion? Simple: Look at the scores. There must be less to do in Utah, because they have time to drill their football team into an elite force around the nation. No, this game wasn't broadcast in North Carolina. I had to put something here, though, but I can't use the kitten gag again.

Illinois-6, #11 Michigan State-26

Illinois had quietly been having a halfway decent season. That's really only from Illinois's perspective. For everyone else it's more of a "Oh, you're .500 halfway through the year? Well, that's better than average. For you." Anyway, that whole "halfway decent season" came to a halt in this game. One wonders whether Illinois is destined for another year with one conference win. Then one actually bothers to look at the schedule and realizes that they have Indiana and Minnesota and they should make it into a bowl. Yeah, I should talk about Michigan State, but what do you want me to say? They seem to be good, but then again, so did Nebraska. So...yeah. Let's move on.

#12 South Carolina-28, Kentucky-31

If you hear a thumping sound coming from the southeast, it's the sound of thousands of South Carolina fans banging their heads against the walls of their local sports bars. Unless you're in Las Vegas. Then you might want to switch hotel rooms.

Sorry, got off topic there. Any hoo, this is one of those games that's a head scratcher. You wonder if South Carolina lapsed this week, or just got lucky last week. Anyway, I apologize to Kentucky.

Oh, and one more thing: WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT LAST PLAY?! 11 seconds left and Spurrier calls his last time out. That I get, but why do you throw a pass with even a risk of an interception? South Carolina's QB should have never thrown a pass unless he saw his receiver standing alone in the end zone waving his arms, helmet in hand, and a sign that said "THROW IT HERE MORON!" in neon lettering. Otherwise, throw it away and kick the field goal. Or, even better, play it safe and kick the field goal. Yes, I admire risky play as much as the next guy, but you're on the cusp of getting perennial punching bag South Carolina declared a national powerhouse. Don't blow it! This isn't NCAA 2011! Moving on...

#14 Iowa-38, #24 Michigan-28

Dear Michigan,

I'll confess that you're not as bad as last year's team. Don't get cocky, last year's team was a 5-7 disaster squad who won all their games against pathetic competition. But with that said, you are an improving football program. Unfortunately, you're still probably the 7th best team in your 11 team conference. Iowa has a decent defense, but your offense was so overhyped and overrated to start the season that it really doesn't surprise the observant among us that you're beginning to fall apart, Michigan. But fear not, Wolverines, you have Penn State, Illinois, and Purdue coming up on the schedule. So you could win 3 more straight before Wisconsin and Ohio State trash you to end the season!

Swarthily,

Bones

PS: Iowa...make up your mind whether or not you suck. Please do so before you play Wisconsin this week.

Boston College-19, #17 Florida State-24

Florida State is, as College Football Cafeteria's own Sloppy Joe put it, a schizophrenic team. They came out and demolished a decent Miami squad last week, and they narrowly skated by mediocre Boston College this week. My prediction for the Seminoles? Either an ACC Championship or a 40 point loss in the Music City Bowl. My prediction for the Eagles? A nice long winter at home in Boston.

#18 Oklahoma State-34, Texas Tech-17

Texas Tech did the right thing by firing Mr. Abuse, Mike Leach. Well, they did the right thing morally. Football wise, it's looking like kind of a disaster. Mind you, Tommy Tuberville will need a year or two to right the ship, but the question is whether or not he'll be given enough time to do it. And Oklahoma State has quietly gone undefeated. I guess the sports media learned from last year's experience of proclaiming them the best team in Oklahoma, then watching them fall apart to a mediocre performance in a mediocre Cotton Bowl. Still, we'll get to meet the real Oklahoma State soon, when they play Nebraska, Kansas State, and Texas in 3 of their next 4 games, followed by the season closer with Oklahoma. So...the Cowboys will finally be tested starting next week.

#19 Missouri-30, Texas A&M-9

Missouri is right there on the list with Oklahoma State of teams that are equal parts untested and undefeated. Missouri gets Oklahoma and Nebraska in coming weeks, so I guess we'll see the real Tigers soon enough. Texas A&M, meanwhile is looking like they might play the spoiler for someone at some point in time. Not sure who, nor am I sure when, but Texas A&M is certainly not going to compete for the Big 12 title. And you can take that absolutely obvious statement to the bank!

#20 Arizona-24, Washington State-7

Wazzu still sucks. Nothing new here. Arizona probably should have beaten them by more. No, I don't have East Coast Bias, there just weren't any games of any interest in the western part of the country thus far in the Top 25. Let's change that...

#19 Nevada-21, Hawaii-27

Now, I've only caught the highlights of this one, so take that as a warning. ESPN is notorious for spicing up their highlights to make it seem like games were either better than they really were or more of a blowout than they really were, depending on the situation (see also, that Alabama article I linked to above). But from what I've seen and from looking at the box score, Nevada's vaunted pistol offense was decidedly mediocre in this game. They did nothing in the first half at all, and they allowed Hawaii a 17-0 halftime lead. Again, not a recipe for success. Do I always repeat myself this much in Saturdays in Review? Yeah, I think I do. Also, Nevada's loss hurts Boise more than anyone else. Here's hoping they don't pull the upset now. That would suck for those of us who hate the BCS...

Mississippi State-10, #22 Florida-7

OK, first off, why was Florida still ranked? Because they had lost to two ranked teams? Is that it? Because that's still dumb. Alabama beat them worse than they did Penn State! Florida doesn't have Tim Tebow any more. Get over it. Lord knows that if the voters don't then the Gators won't. And Florida looks mostly lost when it comes to offense. Mississippi State isn't that good, honest. It's just that Florida is slowly but surely being revealed to be a mediocre SEC team. No shame in that, the SEC is still good, but Florida ain't what they used to be. And I hate to think what this is doing to Urban Meyer's heart...

#23 Air Force-25, San Diego State-27

San Diego State has actually been fairly good this season, losing a close one to Missouri and dropping a controversial decision to the BYU Cougars last week. So it's not that surprising that they pulled off the upset this week. Air Force, meanwhile, couldn't stop the impressive rushing attack of the Aztecs, which kinda makes me wonder how they managed to stop Navy. Whatever it is, they'd best figure out how to stop good offense and good defense quickly, since they'll be going into Fort Worth next week to try and stop TCU. Good luck with that. And now...

Tales from the Bottom 95

Virginia Tech won again, so go Hokies...NC State is looking more and more like a team that had no business ever being ranked, after ECU jumped out to a 21-0 lead and beat the Wolfpack in OT...Washington upset Oregon State in double OT, and good job to Jake Locker again. See? I can be nice. It just doesn't happen often...Clemson won big, so Dabo won't get fired at the end of the season--probably...Georgia crushed Vandy, thereby keeping Mark Richt effigies down to a decent level once again...Rutgers clipped Army in OT, so either Army's getting better, Rutgers is much worse, or both...Carolina beat UVa in a battle of teams I detest. Pity that they couldn't both lose...Florida International has picked up 2 wins in a row. Go Panthers!...Indiana narrowly beat Arkansas State...Western Carolina got crushed by Wofford this weekend...

Aaaaand lastly, Fallout New Vegas comes out this week. So, someone please send an early e-mail, as I probably won't see sunlight between now and Saturday...

Saturday in Review 10/9/10

Sorry this one is so late, so I'll just hit some fairly random points, rather than doing the normal Top 25 rundown. So, without further ado, imagine this as a really long and weirder than average tales from the Bottom 95 which just happens to include more than the Bottom 95. Moving right along:

Alabama's loss to South Carolina wasn't all that surprising. Sure, it's great that South Carolina won, but Alabama is still a darn fine team who just happened to come off of a brutal 3 game schedule. That, and they haven't looked that impressive on the road this season. So it remains to be seen if they can right the ship. Odds says they can, but a one-loss Alabama team should not jump over an undefeated Ohio State or Oregon or Boise State or Nebraska squad. If they do, then I'll be leading the mob that burns down BCS HQ. Because the SEC doesn't look as intimidating as it used to.

Case in point: Florida losing to LSU. Les Miles is the luckiest sonofagun under the sun, and he has proven this for 2 consecutive weeks with narrow escapes, though this one is at least against a decent team. And Florida's orange jerseys suck.

Auburn narrowly escaped Kentucky, so I'm curious as to how good they really are. Maybe Alabama teams just can't play on the road.

Boise State and TCU destroyed their opponents, big freakin' surprise.

Big Top 10 upset: Arizona loses to Oregon State. Not sure what this teaches us. I guess there's parity in the Pac-10, or Iowa was just overrated, or the blind squirrel found an acorn a while back. Either way...that was the major one.

Maybe the lack of road presence in the SEC is contagious, Arkansas barely escaped Texas A&M, narrowly beating an unranked squad from a theoretically inferior conference. No, I don't care about the "12th man" making life hard, if you have trouble on the road against a bad team, Arkansas, then you're screwed on your road trips to Auburn and South Carolina.

Florida State hammered Miami. The ACC continues to depress.

Wisconsin and Minnesota nearly had a fight. I don't care what the card said, coach, you don't go for 2 when you're up by that much. Anyone who tries to defend this decision will get yelled at by yours truly. Minnesota's already bad, and it's not like you were avenging them running up the score on you last season. In fact, unless you're "avenging" the 1990 Wisconsin squad that got beaten 21-3, this was just a flat out classless maneuver.

Dear Michigan,

Told you so.

--Bones

San Jose State played their 4th ranked opponent in 6 games. They did the same thing they did every other time: they lost.

Southern Cal dropped their second straight, though this one was a squeaker with Stanford. Pity that it doesn't matter this year.

Hat goes off to Ohio State who hammered Indiana. Good job, and congrats on your brand new #1 ranking. Now, try playing more than 1 meaningful road game per season.

Bottom 95 stuff: Virginia Tech won again...Tennessee got killed by Georgia, thus keeping the effigies of Mark Richt down to a manageable level this week...Penn State got hammered in Happy Valley by Illinois, so times are dark for JoePa...Clemson dropped one to North Carolina. Seriously looking forward to Dabo Swinney's firing....Florida International won their first game...Navy beat Wake Forest. No one cares...Vandy beat Eastern Michigan, thereby proving absolutely nothing...Cincinnati won the battle with Miami (Ohio), meaning that Miami is officially the worst team in Ohio. I think...New Mexico State beat New Mexico 16-14 in a battle of particularly bad teams...Hawaii actually had to go to a road game. That sucks for them...

A little housekeeping for you...

Just a quick heads up, devoted readers, I've added a series of links to the sidebar. They're above the blog archive, because I generally link the crap out of everything that's new on here, so you needn't worry about missing something. If you have a personal favorite article, a recommendation for the Q&A, or you think the links I posted suck, please comment below or send an e-mail.

Thank you for your participation in my borderline psychotic egotistical writing.

Thursday in Review?

...I know, what the heck? Still, some things do bear mention after tonight's throttling of Kansas State by Nebraska:

#6 Nebraska-48, Kansas State-13

OK, I'm very tempted to say that this game proved something, but it really doesn't. Nebraska, right now, looks like the favorite in the Big 12, but the Big 12 has been a very underwhelming conference of late. Don't get me wrong, I like Nebraska, but I'm totally unsure of how well they'll fare against the best teams on their schedule. Nebraska's nonconference schedule was pathetic. Their upcoming game with Texas was supposed to be a big proving ground, but now it's a matchup between a Top 10 team and an unranked opponent. Rankings wise, the best two teams on Nebraska's schedule are Oklahoma State and Missouri, neither of whom were even ranked to start the season! In other words, Nebraska is basically the same as last year's Texas team...

I'm really not sure what to make of Nebraska. They're not a bad football team by any stretch of anyone's imagination, and Taylor Martinez is a quick and agile quarterback who has been slashing up defenses with ease. Of concern, however, is the fact that Nebraska won't face a good defense this season. Texas has an adequate defense, but their offense is so anemic that it will be a major upset for the Longhorns to knock off the Huskers.

In short, Nebraska, of all the major conference teams, has the easiest path to going undefeated up to its championship game. Note that's not much of an accomplishment: the Big 10, Pac-10, and Big East don't have championship games, the ACC has no undefeated teams, and the SEC is good (unlike the Big 12). Also note that I'm not saying Nebraska will go undefeated, or that Alabama is doomed to fail. I'm merely saying that the current system rewards being the lone decent team in a major conference (See also: Southern Cal 2002-2007). So, Nebraska remains an enigma. Are they a powerhouse waiting to explode on the national scene? Or are they a team that's set up to get pantsed in the Big 12 Championship game/National Title game? Time, as is so often the case, will tell.

After all the intrigue surrounding Nebraska, Kansas State is easy: They're mediocre. Have been for a few years now.

See you guys for the Saturday in Review!

Saturday in Review 10/2/10

Hard nose football? Improbable comebacks? Les Miles relying virtually entirely on luck to escape from an inferior team? Must be Saturday...

#7 Florida-6, #1 Alabama-31

Well, take from this one what you will. Either Alabama's as good as advertised, Florida was (and is) grossly overrated, or both. I mean, this was a demolition, and it came quickly and unrelentingly. As a matter of fact, I have trouble remembering the last time a Top 10 team was so convincingly mangled by an opponent. Oh, wait, no I don't. Florida probably looks back to the Sugar Bowl fondly, because this team is a mere shadow of its former self. No Dunlap, no Cooper, no Tebow, etc., etc. It'd be fair to say that Florida this season has the same arrest record as their old teams, but half the talent.

Florida/LSU this week is going to be a mediocre game between mediocre teams, and after watching this one and the Tennessee game, I am just about convinced that Alabama won't face another realistic test until Auburn comes to town in November. Mind you, that Georgia State game they've scheduled could be a trap...(NOTE: That was a joke, sort of like Alabama's nonconference schedule.)

#2 Ohio State-24, Illinois-13

Well, Ohio State finally got to use some of their transportation budget. Honestly, I figured that they could pull the wool over our eyes for a bit longer and make it all the way to November before they actually played a road game. But no, reality finally set in for the Buckeyes, and they were forced to go all the way to Illinois, a team that won the conference in 2007 and has won 5 conference games since then. And the result? A very close game, with the Buckeyes narrowly escaping Illinois with a win. Ohio State could very easily go undefeated, so long as Terrelle Pryor stays healthy, and they could go to a National Title game, but I really hope that they don't. The Big 10 hasn't proven anything this season, and they won't really be able to until the postseason comes around. I went into lengthy detail on that topic last week, so I won't do it this week, but it really is something to think about. Ohio State is almost certainly the best team in the Big 10, but there's a huge part of me that hopes they lose at least one game so that Boise or TCU or Oklahoma or Oregon or Nebraska or someone who's not from the frickin' Big 10 goes to the title game. Because, mark my words, if the National Title game comes down to Alabama vs. Ohio State, the Crimson Tide could win by 30.

#3 Boise State-59, New Mexico State-0

Boise State's upcoming schedule looks like this: Toledo, San Jose State, Louisiana Tech, Hawaii, Idaho, Fresno State. After that they play Nevada, which should at least be a decent game, but my point is that you'll be seeing a whole lot of scores like this for the next 6 weeks, thanks to the ludicrous concept of "style points." Yes, I agree that a close game for Boise State could be disastrous for their national title chances, but who cares if they beat New Mexico State by 35 or 59? I have seen many 14 point games that were "closer than they looked," but I doubt that anyone has ever seen a 5+ touchdown game that was "closer than it looked." If any voter excludes Boise State from the National Title game because they "only" beat New Mexico State (or any of the other teams listed above) by 59, then they're just as big of an idiot as someone who won't give Mark Ingram the Heisman because he didn't participate in the murder of San Jose State. Punishing Boise State for their conference schedule is on an equal plane of stupidity for rewarding Ohio State for their nonconference schedule. If 59 point wins are what it takes for Boise State to get a crack at the ugly crystal football, then I (and most of America, I'd wager) hope that they win all their remaining games in this manner. Even though it will be really, really boring to write about week in and week out...

#13 Stanford-31, #4 Oregon-52

I'm not sure if you knew this, but Stanford jumped out to a 21-3 lead and then blew it. Oregon's offense is disturbingly hard to keep down, since Stanford was able to do so for one quarter and then allowed 7 touchdowns in the remainder of the game. Oregon's offense hung up over 600 yards, and their defense (which is badly overshadowed by their offense) looked very, very good in the second half. Yes, the Pac-10 is good, but Oregon looks like they're the cream of the crop in that conference. I'll say it right now: if the season comes down to undefeated Alabama, Ohio State, Oregon, and Boise State, I want to watch an Alabama/Oregon national title game over any other. (All Ohio State and Boise State fans, remember that when you make your effigy, I am tall and skinny and somewhat flammable.)

#5 TCU-27, Colorado State-0

TCU struggled a wee bit in the first half, and I think it's fair to say that they're the lesser of the 2 big BCS busters. True, TCU is still undefeated, and they have a realistic shot at winning the MWC, but since the Mountain West is all-but certainly tougher than the Big East and the ACC, there's also the real shot that TCU loses. Honestly, it might be best if TCU were to lose. That way the BCS couldn't pull the same garbage they did last season and shoehorn the 'Busters where they might go out and embarrass one of the cash cows. So start up the campaign now: either TCU and Utah take one for the team and let Boise in as the only BCS Buster this season, or get a letter writing campaign going to let TCU and Boise play AQ teams in the BCS, not one another. Decide now.

#16 Texas-20, #8 Oklahoma-28

Last week's Saturday in Review was long, and this one is going to be going up late. Let's just hit the high points and see if this thing can get posted by Wednesday morning: First off, while I love the Coaches' Poll, why did they have Texas ranked 16th? Even before this game, Texas had looked underwhelming at best, and Virginia Tech-level overrated at worst. The loss to UCLA last week was as crippling to the whole Big 12 as it was to Texas, and the fact that Texas and Oklahoma played one another closely in their annual de facto Big 12 South championship game is indicative of parity in the conference which might or might not be a good thing, when you consider that the Big 12 looked pretty dang bad during the last week of nonconference play. Oklahoma's had some close ones, but the remainder of their schedule is against a group of teams that's so mediocre (or outright bad) that they're now the prohibitive favorite to go to the Big 12 Championship game, which should be against Nebraska. Then again, we don't really know that much about Nebraska, either. Texas will play them after a bye week, and we'll see just how long this Longhorn tailspin lasts on October 16th.

#9 Wisconsin-24, #21 Michigan State-34

Wisconsin hasn't looked like a Top 10 team all season. Sure, Michigan State's playing inspired, but Wisconsin has beaten only one team convincingly--and that was 1-AA Austin Peay. I sincerely hope that this is phase one of the Big 10 beating up on itself, because the conference deserves nothing better after playing the shabbiest nonconference schedule this side of the Big East (see last week's tirade for more details). Michigan State's rivalry game with Michigan this week should expose one of the two teams as a false contender, but who will wind up exposed is anyone's guess. (Spoiler alert: I really hope it's the Wolverines.)

Tennessee-14, #10 LSU-16

I am legitimately surprised at how many people hate Les Miles. I don't like the guy, but outright hatred is rarely seen for a coach who has been as successful at his job as Coach Miles. Then games like this happen and everyone is reminded why the fans hate Les Miles. His clock management skills are on par with those of a hobo who can't tell time. Pat Forde of ESPN did an excellent spot about this in his weekly column, so I'd advise reading it. Forde gets paid to write, so he does it quite a bit better than I do. Read that then come back here.

OK, you're back. Good. Tennessee needs to work on counting, while LSU needs to come up with an even semi-competent offense, especially since they face Florida on the road next week, followed by cupcake McNeese State, followed by Auburn and Alabama back to back. Don't look for LSU to get out of that run any better than 2-2, and don't be surprised if they emerge 1-3 from that four game stretch, firmly placing themselves in 4th in the SEC West.

Louisiana-Monroe-3, #11 Auburn-52

No, I will not review this, thanks.

#17 Miami-30, Clemson-21

First off, notice how few Top 25 teams were playing this week. It was like everyone's scheduling committee decided to take a break at the same time. I guess the first week of October is just as good a time as any, considering that the real swing of things gets going during this month. Miami's had a year that's tough to define: they've only played one ranked team and looked fairly mediocre in the process. But they looked good against the teams they've beaten, though none of those teams are currently ranked. So, Miami is one of the myriad teams in need of an identity as we close in on the halfway point of the season. Beating (admittedly overrated) Florida State convincingly this week would go a long way to proving Miami is a legitimate team, and they still look like the best the ACC has to offer (again, an almost meaningless statement)

Clemson, meanwhile, is a team that still struggles to find legitimacy in the weird world of college football. Mark my words, another year with no national championship, and the lunatic fringe at Clemson will begin calling for Coach Dabo Swinney's job. Is it right? No. Is it likely? Highly. Because, hey, the team hasn't won a championship since 1981 (and were cheating then) but that's just because Swinney can't coach, right? (Yes, this sounds crazy, but remember that this is the school that fired a coach who led them to 8 straight winning seasons because he was 3-3 at the time. Must be fun to coach there.)

#20 Penn State-3, #18 Iowa-24

Well, turns out that Penn State really isn't that good. At all. Like, their offense is a nonentity. At time of writing they're 100th in terms of points scored. Even with a good defense, you're not going to win many games that way. And when you remove the Alabama game, Penn State's nonconference schedule consisted of Youngstown State, Kent State, and Temple. Considering that none of the teams I just listed are powerhouses, Penn State's offense could very easily get worse now that they're entering their conference schedule...

Iowa, on the other hand, is with Miami in the club of teams with no real ID thus far. They lost to their lone good opponent, but they've beaten their other foes (including a conference foe now) handily. So...let's just see how things go for the Hawkeyes in the coming weeks. Not this week, though, since they have a bye.

#19 Michigan-42, Indiana-35

Dear Michigan,

You came so very close to getting exposed this week. I really hoped that it was going to happen this week, but it will have to wait at least one more. You're not as good as you think you are, Michigan, and your conference schedule will prove it. I'd write longer, but I'd just repeat myself. We'll save any actual analysis for the Michigan/Michigan State game this week.

Sincerely,

Bones

#25 Nevada-44, UNLV-26

Nevada needs to keep climbing in the rankings. They have to stay undefeated. Why? Choose your own ending to this post! If you root for Boise, read sentence 1. If you're anti-Boise or a Nevada fan, read sentence 2! If you work for the BCS, then read sentence 3.

Sentence 1: Because that way, when Boise clocks them in November, the win will be more impressive!

Sentence 2: Because that way, when they beat Boise, they'll take the BCS and prove to everyone that there are other good non-AQ teams out there.

Sentence 3: Because that way, when they beat Boise, then lose to Louisiana Tech, while the MWC beats up on itself then we can get an all major conference final featuring Alabama/Ohio State, which is what we wanted back in August.

Hope you enjoyed the choose your own adventure, but there's only one place to go from here. It's time for...

Tales from the Bottom 95

First off, congrats to Virginia Tech for beating a ranked opponent, and ensuring that the ACC will, yet again, have no undefeated teams...Also congrats to Washington, who've had Southern Cal's number the past two seasons. Thank you for finally putting a thorn in the Trojans' paw. Let's hope they keep losing...In a similar vein, apologies to Jake Locker, who actually looked very impressive in a road game!...BYU's in a tailspin or Utah State's actually decent, take your pick...UConn beat Vanderbilt. Not sure if that means anything to anyone...Baylor crushed Kansas, and Turner Gill's inaugural season as Jayhawks head coach is turning fairly nightmarish...Northwestern beat Minnesota to stay undefeated...Tulane defeated Rutgers. Go Green Wave!...Air Force is halfway to the Commander-in-Chief's trophy, and I doubt they'll have much trouble toppling Army...Mark Richt is going to be in serious trouble in Georgia after starting 1-4...Texas Tech is looking rough. Must be concentrating too much on their fat little girlfriends...Georgia Tech narrowly clipped Wake Forest. Once again, the ACC is a dogfight...San Jose State lost to 1-AA UC Davis. The bottom's officially out for the Spartans...Notre Dame beat Boston College in the battle of Catholic colleges...Hawaii beat Louisiana Tech, but I'm glad that the Bulldogs got a trip to Hawaii...

That's all for this week. See you later!