Bowl (P)Review: December 31

December 31st. The final day of the old year, one which was somewhat disappointing for those of us who are utter fanatics of college football.

Sure, there were some compelling storylines (5 undefeated teams, Iowa making a deep run despite nearly losing to just about everyone, Bobby Bowden's impending firing, Southern Cal being bad, etc.) and some compelling single events (a thriller in Blacksburg, Legarette Blount sucker punching a guy on the first night of the season, Stanford running up the score on Southern Cal, etc.) but 2009 lacked the general weirdness of 2007 and 2008. Still, 'twas a good season overall, and the year wasn't that bad, either. So as the decade ends, we shall evaluate the last college football to be played this calendar year, starting wiiiiiiith...

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
Houston vs. Air Force

Anyone else find it odd that Bell Helicopter sponsors a bowl? Yes, I understand Bell has made many types of helicopters for the US military for many, many years. But still, don't you want your bowl to be sponsored by something that people can buy realistically? Take the Chick-Fil-A Bowl. You watch it, you get hungry, you remember the bowl name, you buy some Chick-Fil-A. I'm not sure that this theory works with helicopters:

Wife: Honey! We need to go to Aunt Martha's in Wisconsin!
Husband [quietly, to himself]: Hmmm, that's quite a drive. [looks at television, showing this bowl game, sees bowl sponsor] I've got it! We shall purchase a helicopter and fly to Aunt Martha's!
Wife: Sweetie, we can buy plane tickets for roughly one thousand times less than the cost of a helicopter.
Husband: [shouted, at top of lungs] CURSE YOU BOWL GAME!!!!!

[end scene]

(PS, to the American Theatre Wing: You can send me my Tony in the mail.)

Your football analysis can be found below...

Should I watch this game? Well, do you like conflicting styles? Then yes. Houston's got one of the best offenses in the country, and they averaged 43.9 points per game. Air Force, meanwhile, allows only 15.3 points per game, and has the best pass defense in the country, something that should worry pass-wacky Houston. This is going to be a ridiculously close game to call, and as bad as I've been on my picks, you should take this one as a complete shot in the dark. I have no idea who will win this game.

CFR Pick: I've belittled Houston all year, and I will continue to do so. I'm picking Air Force, since I think defense trumps offense more than the other way around.


Brut Sun Bowl
Oklahoma vs #21 Stanford

Well, Oklahoma's season pretty much defines "disappointing" doesn't it? Starting out in the top 5, coming off a season where you played in the national title game, you expect better than a Sun Bowl berth at the end of the year. Losing your superstar tight end and quarterback surely didn't help the Sooners, but I'm not sure that they would have done that much better with Bradford. Maybe 2 more wins, but lest we forget, Oklahoma was only up 10-7 on BYU when Bradford got hurt the first time. Even with a healthy Sam Bradford, Oklahoma might have only made it to the Cotton Bowl.

Stanford, on the other hand, had a surprisingly good year with a surprisingly good running back. Toby Gerhart. Gerhart played his way into the Heisman conversation, and he ran over some of the Pac-10's better teams. Stanford, however, has trouble with non-Pac-10 foes this year, beating mediocre Notre Dame by only 7 and losing to a Wake Forest team that ended up going 5-7. With the Pac-10 1-2 in bowls right now (by the way, thanks Cal and Oregon State...), Stanford has to show that they can beat the best non-conference foe that they've faced all year. This game will really give us a good picture of the Pac-10's strength or weakness.

Should I watch this game? Yes, actually. Game should be a good one, and it will be interesting to see if Oklahoma's defense (which has been spotty at times, yet good at others) can keep Gerhart from gaining 200 yards. I, for one, think they can.

CFR Pick: Another toss up in a day of good games. I'm taking Oklahoma in this one, assuming that they all make it onto the field without separating shoulders and tearing ACLs. The Pac-10 may have "something to prove" but I doubt this is the game in which they'll prove it.

Texas Bowl
Navy vs. Missouri

Wait, the state of Texas sponsors a bowl? That's impressive. I look forward to seeing if Navy's triple option offense can run the ball against Missouri. It'll be a sight to see, I'm sure. Missouri's run defense is 12th in the nation, but they play in the normally pass wacky Big 12. It will be interesting to see how they perform against a Navy rush offense that is 4th in the country. Navy played inferior competition most of the year, but their only loss to a non-bowl team is a defeat at the hands of pathetic Hawaii. Missouri, meanwhile comes in riding a 3 game win streak. It should be 5, but they lost to Baylor somehow.

Should I watch this game? Yes, especially since this day and the two that follow it are all about watching teams you normally don't get to. Plus, this game should be pretty good, what with the defensive/offensive matchup. Plus, the option is always fun to watch, even if you fail at it.

CFR Pick: I'll take Missouri, but that might be more of a guess...

Insight Bowl
Iowa State vs. Minnesota

Two of the barely bowl worthy teams from two pretty bad conferences (Texas notwithstanding) (Oh, while we're on that subject, how'd Iowa State end up in the Big 12?). Honestly, I'm not sure how Minnesota finished bowl eligible. They finished below non-bowl eligible Purdue in conference. That's insane! It really blows my tiny little mind.

To be fair, the game's on the NFL network, meaning that if you could watch it, you also have a lot of TV channels. And something, anything, else must be on. Heck, I'm not even sure why the NFL would agree to take this garbage. I guess it's because either of these teams could beat the Rams.

Should I watch this game? Two 6-6 teams battling it out in a bowl that means almost nothing. I'd rather watch Army play Notre Dame in the 10,000 Flushes Toilet Bowl. I can't watch this one, since I don't have NFL Network. Even if I could watch the game, I highly doubt that I would.

CFR Pick: Eeeeeh...I don't know. Tough call, really. Minnesota's 0-2 overall in this game. Iowa State's 1-0. I'll take the Cyclones, with no degree of confidence at all.

Chick-Fil-A Bowl
Virginia Tech vs Tennessee

The matchup of the night. Indeed, the matchup I've been eagerly waiting for ever since the announcement. As avid readers know, I went to two college football games this year: one in Blacksburg, VA and one in Knoxville, TN. This game should be a good one, featuring two defenses that are pretty good and two bad offenses. How bad? Well, Virginia Tech's put up some impressive point totals this year, but those point totals normally came against bad teams. 7 of their 24 points against Alabama came on a kick return, they only scored 16 against ECU and Nebraska, and they managed just 17 points at home against Carolina in their loss to the sticky feet back in October. Yes, Tech comes in riding a win streak, but note that the 42-13 final against UVa is belied by the fact that Tech was up 14-13 at the half. Plus, here's a weird statistic for you:

Virginia Tech's record in the city of Atlanta in 2009: 0-2
Virginia Tech's record any place on earth other than Atlanta in 2009: 9-1

Maybe all that time in Blacksburg made the Tech players wary of flashing lights and car horns and indoor plumbing...

Tennessee, meanwhile, keeps getting positive press. I've heard at least 2 ESPN announcers say that they're playing "really good football" right now. Really? Tennessee's won 4 of its last 5 games. If you do absolutely no research whatsoever, that looks good. Then you look at the games: crushed South Carolina (legit), beat Memphis (cupcake, doesn't count), got killed by Ole Miss (self-explanatory), beat Vandy (conference cupcake, doesn't count), beat Kentucky in overtime (Kentucky went to a bowl, so we'll call this one legit). Look, I agree that the Vols are not pushovers and should not be thought of as such. But to call wins over 2 bowl teams, 2 awful teams, and a loss to the underachievers at Mississippi "really good football" is a bit of an overstatement, dontcha think?

Should I watch this game? Yes, because it will be a good one. Lots of defense, lots of run plays. Game should be over in plenty of time for New Year's Rockin' Eve. Really, who doesn't love Dick Clark? Oh, and my favorite team's playing. I might be a wee bit biased.

CFR Pick: As bad as I'm doing at picking games, plus considering the awfulness that is the ACC, I shudder to do this. But I'm picking Virginia Tech. I won't ever pick against 'em. You all already knew that, so it does boggle the mind a bit as to why you're reading this. Let's end this post...

So that's all for the 5 games on the 31st. Stay tuned (or see above if you're reading this one later) for a review of bowl week 2 and the preview of the New Year's Day games.